The One Skill That Changes EVERYTHING in Business & Life

I'm just telling you the communication skills you think you have right now that are good, they could be better. Because if you would have asked me in my 40s about if I was a good communicator, I would have said one of the best in the world because I can close deals. Great. I also went through a divorce in my 40s. How good of a communicator was I? I legit have the greatest relationship in the world. I'm married to the love of my life and it's awesome. And I'm not bragging because I screwed up. I've been up. I was a part of the screw up of my previous marriage. It wasn't all on her. Just as much me and I should have. I could have communicated better. And there's some pieces. That's how we grow. I can't turn back time. I can learn from it. Thank goodness. She is an amazing mom. My previous wife, she's a dear friend and that's awesome. But I want to tell you I saw because I obsess on communication because I know my wife, because I love being in love. I love the fact that my wife still looks at me every morning like it's the first week we met. It is the most magical thing I could ever share with anyone. I walk in a room, if my wife looks at me, she looks at me a way that takes my knees out. She still looks at me like I'm the greatest human she's ever seen. And I feel so blessed. And it just makes me mirror that back to her. But I'm going to tell you a little something. My wife's a badass. She had her own business when I met her. She was voted the top hairstylist in Arizona 8 out of 10 years. She has her own business right next door. It's not easy being married to me because I am like a steamroller and life kind of because my business has gotten so big and my schedule is so nuts, a lot of life has to revolve around me. I hate to say it, but it's true. It's. I travel a lot. I have to go and speak. I have. I'm partners with Tony, my partner, Tony Robbins. I help also run Tony's company and the company we own together and my own company and I own over 100 different houses and I have a real estate division and I'm writing a new book. And, and, and, and I want to be a good dad to my older children. And man, a lot of life revolves around me. So you marry a Powerful, amazing woman who's used to having her freedom, control of her time, control of her business, control of everything. And all of a sudden you marry a man who's like, you're like, hey, I gotta be. It's like, no, no, babe, we're jumping on a plane. I gotta deal the clothes in Malibu or I gotta go down to Florida and talk to Tony. And I want to tell you, my wife's business is amazing. But in comparison, my wife has a great year. It could be hundreds and hundreds of thousands. I have a great year, it's tens of millions of dollars. So there's sometimes I'm being really personal now. I want to tell you, like, why communication is so important. She could say, hey, babe, but I was going to do this thing and in my head I'm like, you're going to do a $500 hair extension thing that you want to do. I'm going to close a $20 million deal. Scrap that, get on the plane, we're out of here. Right? Those are some of the things I know I did in previous relationships. Mine's bigger, mine's more important. It's about me. Be happy. We're wealthy, you get to have freedom, Jump on the plane, do what the hell I say. Can you see how as a guy that's easy to just say, I got this, I'm working, I got this shit, hun, don't even worry, you never have to work again. Close your shop, close it down, we don't need it. That's how my, my previous self thought of things. Just being honest. This is how we grow. But now I have to think about that all the time. And I make compromises and I communicate with her in a way. Babe, what you did is absolutely amazing. And if you want me to shift that, I'll move my meeting. And we adjust and we communicate and she'll have the nerve to come to me and say, babe, all last month it was all about you. Can I work on a little bit? Like, oh my God, did I do that to you? All right, tell me and we'll communicate and we'll talk. I want to tell you, in my 30s, it would have been like, mind is multimillionaire, yours is peanuts. My way or the highway. Without even realizing I was saying that, can you guys understand? I'm not a bad human. I didn't ever think I was doing. I thought I was working hard for my family. It's like, I'm talking about leaving legacy. I want to make sure my children and my grandchildren and My great grandchildren are protected. And I have you guys to worry about in my project. Next. Family and self education. Family and. And my partnerships. I have so much to worry about. It's me. How do you think my relationship would be with my wife if it was all about me? How do you think it would be when I walked in a room if I squashed her dreams and her desires and just made it all about me and didn't communicate? I'm just telling you, the communication skills you think you have right now that are good, they could be better. Because if you would have asked me in my 40s about if I was a good communicator, I would have said one of the best in the world because I can close deals. Great. I also went through a divorce in my 40s. How good of a communicator was I right? If I didn't acknowledge the shifts in my son Brody? Man, there was many times. Who in here has more than one children? One child. Raise your hand if you have more than one child. Okay, those that raise your hand if you have more than one child. Who in here has two children that are completely different even though they were raised the same? Same DNA, like night and day. My daughter is like a warm cup of coffee. Like, it is so easy to communicate with my daughter. Whatever I say, we flow, we jive, we think alike. My son, oh, my God, he's the smartest kid I've ever seen. Way smarter than me. And everything I said along this journey of my son, who's now 13, There was years of greatness and there'd be three months of hell because, man, it was like I talked Spanish to him. What did I had to do? The same things I'm sharing with you. I had to listen more. I had to live inside of his mind. I had to understand him better. I had to ask more questions. I had to set up things so I could really understand. He was speaking Spanish and I had to get translations right. The next thing I want to share with you is, in your business, whatever business, I hope you're in the self education industry. I hope you're already making sales or on your way to making sales or whatever business you're in, you must find groups of people that are your ideal demographic. You have to find your ideal demographic and get in those groups. And everything we just said, ask the questions, see what the common threads are. See, I don't want to oversimplify this, but we really must know if we're going to call our future clients our prospects, we must live Inside the mind of our prospect. And that really is just knowing two things. What are their biggest goals, dreams and desires? So what are their goals and what are their biggest fears and worries? We got to know that you want to communicate with somebody, know what their biggest fears and worries are. My 13 year old, he doesn't want to look stupid in front of his friends is one of his biggest worries. He doesn't want his dad to have his arm around him and kiss him anymore and try to hold his hand. Right? Like, I understand his biggest fear. His biggest fear is that he likes this girl and she might like someone else who's older or taller. Like, I'm learning his fears, but I also know his goals. But I do that in business. I want to know your biggest fears. I know if you're in the self education industry, I know one of the biggest fears is being an imposter. You feel like you're not good enough to do it. You feel like you need permission. You feel like there's people smarter than you. You feel too old and technology's too hard. You feel like you missed your window. You feel like marketing is too hard. I know all those fears. But you also have the dream of impacting others, making money from home, being in something you can be proud of, changing people's lives, being on stage someday or having a big audience online. I know your fears. I know your dreams. And every single week, I try to squash your fears, overcome them, and deliver you the tools to get to where you want to be. If you know that, then that's how we can communicate. That's why some of you have been with me eight years here every single month. Because hopefully I understand what you're worried about. Well, simultaneously, I know where you want to go. I know some of you are already doing it. So many of you, every one of you is successful in your own way. Don't we want more success? Even if success is just being happier, joyful, more love, happiness, intimacy, passion, freedom. This is part of it. There's no magic wand. There's no get rich quick button. Have intimacy button. Kids love you to death button. There just isn't. If it was, I'd mass produce them and I'd mail them to all of you. But these are the things we got to do, Sam.