The Secret Sauce to Being a Female Entrepreneur | Episode Mashup

When we share our experiences online, we turn decades into days, which, you know, little light bulb, you're like, I'm going to solve your issue about thinking about sharing information in 30 seconds.

And I was like, sure, you are.

The hero of your own damn life. You can get up off this floor on your own.

The problem is you're thinking in terms of years and probably months right now. You need to be thinking in terms of decades.

I study my calendar and I put in there money making activities. Normally that's what everybody avoids.

How can you still be this way this many years later? He's like, you're doing, doing this to yourself.

I'm like, I swear.

I'm not like, I swear.

So I've learned how to support myself through that.

Out of your comfort zone. Could be one step out of your comfort zone. Doesn't have to be a mile outside your comfort zone. But I do think it's those baby steps that define us and take us where we're supposed to be.

You're able to add a massive amount of value to a large amount of people all at one time. And when you can add more value to more people and make more of an impact, you're going to influence them.

And I remember thinking, hmm, my time might be better spent getting into this business than the book business. And I started changing what I was doing.

Own your future, because if you don't, someone else will. Well, you said something when we were chatting that I loved, which was that, you know, when we share our experiences online, we turn decades into days, which, you know, little light bulb, you're like, I'm going to solve your issue about thinking about sharing information in 30 seconds. And I was like, sure, let's see, you know, and then that line, and I was like, God, is exactly it. And that. What's so funny is in finance we are taught tactics, tactics, tactics. You know, give me the financials, give me the spreadsheet all day. And what I realized actually not so long ago, you would be proud, I think, because I could see like you and Tony, you, you found this stuff out like 30 years ago. I found it out 30 minutes ago. But, but I was at, I was at the, I gave this speech and I was listening to the person before me give theirs thankfully. And they were talking about how people felt physically represent money. So their body, if, if they could have a physical representation of money, what would that look like with your body? And it was a group of small, group of women, very successful women, by the way. Six, seven, eight figure women. And they were like, I want you to think about money. Close your eyes, and then make your body a physical representation of money. And so I'm like. And so I, you know, I. I think money. And I go, money, like, hands up, right? I'm like, I don't even think about it. I don't say the words out loud. I'm just in back, like, yeah, I like it, you know, whatever. And then I open, and then she says, open your eyes. And we look around and everybody else is sort of like, curled up, like. Like closed tight or just like mommy or. And it was the weirdest thing I've ever saw because then I went on and said, okay, I'm gonna give you a bunch of tactics and tools, because that's kind of the way that my brain works. But if you. If your physical body is like this, and this is how you think about money, like, I could give you a list, I could give you the spreadsheet. I could tell you every single thing to do. But I kind of feel like you need to go and listen to somebody like Dean or somebody like Tony first. Because if you don't believe it, and then all the numbers won't back it. If you don't believe love, we ever find love. Yeah. I mean, it sounds so touchy feely, which, like, hurts my little finance soul, except it's true. And so I think it's really powerful, the stuff that you do when you open people's aperture larger and then they can see the numbers and they can see the tactics, but before it, they'll just be on the Internet saying, well, work. No way, no how, whatever.

So the. The worst story of my life, one of the worst stories was I've had massive gut issues. I don't know how much of your audience knows, but for seven years, I've been just dealing with, like, absolute debilitating gut issues. And when it was really bad in that first year, I couldn't stand up for longer than five minutes at a time. My gut was so inflamed. And there was one time I was doing a photo shoot and I was in so much agony. And of course, us women try to always show up and be a hero. So I didn't tell anybody that I was having these massive, massive health issues. My husband knew, though. And I excused myself from the photo shoot. I went upstairs and I fell to the floor, and I was holding my gut, and I was literally these gasps of breath, just gasps of breath. And me, my husband, have a wall of, you can call me once. I can Ignore you. You can call me twice. I can ignore you. But if you call me the third time, even if you're interviewing Oprah Winfrey herself, you have to say, I'm so sorry. Oh, I gotta go, because my wife is calling me. And so I'm on the floor, and I'm trying to take a breath, and I'm like, I need my husband. I need my husband. And so I called him once. He ignored me. I called him twice, he ignored me. I thought, the third time, he's going to answer. And he didn't answer. Now, all credit to him. He didn't hear his phone, but he still didn't answer. And in that moment when I was like, I need my husband. I need my husband, I realized, you don't need him, Lisa. You want him, but you don't need him. You are the hero of your own damn life. You can get up off this floor on your own. And that moment allowed me to realize, instead of me turning to my husband for help, instead of me turning to anybody else for help, I can actually start. Turn. Turn to myself for help. And I really am my own hero. And so in that question that you asked, it was, I want to thank my husband for not showing up for me so that I could end up showing up for myself.

I remember we had Tony Robbins on our podcast about six months before I got pregnant with my daughter. And I was continuing to go between, you know, when's the right time to have kids? I love my career. I love what I do. I have momentum, and I feel this deep calling to be a mom. And I know that's what I'm here for. And I said to Tony, tony, when am I ready? Can you just give me the magic answer, like, when's the right time? And I'll never forget what he said to me. He said, the problem is you're thinking in terms of years and probably months right now. You need to be thinking in terms of decades, right? And that changed everything for me, because I thought about it, and I thought, what do I really want my 30s to be about? And the answer was so clear. It was mothering. It was having my babies and bringing them up. And, yes, I want to do that alongside having a business and knowing that's the theme of this decade. It allows me to give myself so much grace for the season I'm in, knowing that this decade is about being a mother. And, yes, I'm doing all the other things outside of that, but that's my priority. And so everything I'm doing is going to be built around that. And if I know that's my priority, then what have I got to feel guilty about? You know, I cancel that team meeting because my baby needs me, or I take that week off because she's not well, that's my priority. And so the decisions become easy. And I think where it gets really, really challenging for mums that are trying to balance and juggle it all is they aren't really allowing themselves to have the priority be the priority. They think they've got three to four priorities and they need to be showing up at 100% on each of them and that's why they feel so stretched and strained. And one thing I've really started to do at the end of the week is first check in. Am I proud of how I showed up as a mum this week? And if my answer is yes, then I'm winning. And if it means that I'm not, I didn't crush it with my goals the way I wanted to with my business, that's okay. You know, if we're growing a little bit slower in this season, that's okay. But if my priorities are off, that's where the misalignment internally is going to come from. That's where the guilt's going to show up. But right now I'm, I'm very happy to say I don't have that mum guilt because I know where my priorities are. And I'm not saying for any moms listening that that needs to be your priority. You know, when my kids are in school, things are probably going to change a bit for me, but I just want to have that. I want to give myself that permission slip to just be where I am. And I have a mastermind actually for CEO mamas because I need the support myself. And so I was like, how can I just bring more women together? And it's interesting because now I'm one year out and I'm still so new into the postpartum journey. But, but I have a lot of women in there at the three to four month mark and they turn up to the call so frustrated. You know, maybe they're even six months and eight months and they're so frustrated because they're not making progress in their business. And I just take a minute to remind them, you're probably not sleeping very much right now. Your baby needs you constantly. You probably don't feel great leaving your baby. Your hormones are all over the place and I just lay all the cards out on the table for them and they look at Me. And they're like, that's a lot, isn't it? I'm juggling a lot. Like, yes, zoom out 10 years. This is a blip. This is a season. This is a point in time. You are not going to regret taking that extra month at home. You are not going to regret working those fewer hours for the next few weeks. Just have grace with yourself.

So what I do in my morning routine, and this is something I actually do on Sundays and everyone should do this, but it's wild how many people don't. I study my calendar and I put in their money making activities.

Activities.

Normally that's what everybody avoids, right? It's like, it's, those are the hard calls. That's what you really need to be doing. And so what I do in the morning is I study that calendar. And it doesn't mean I'm some workaholic hustle all day long because I believe so much in self care just as well. But what I do in the morning is the wpp. And the truth is we're constantly battling our mind. We're battling outside sources, we're battling. People can call it Satan, they can call it whatever they want. I call it strongholds. There are things in our mind that sometimes they've been there since you were young. Like I grew up in a very abusive home with a single mom, a man that lived with her. Like I was told so many things when I was little that stayed in my head, right? And so the wpp, what I do in the morning is I read the living word. For me, that is the Bible. Just a little bit, not a lot, just a little message. You can even get a devotional read something, okay. And then I pray. So I ask, we forget that we can ask for strength, we can ask for wisdom, we can ask for confidence, we can ask God to bring us a new business partner. I ask and then I praise. So I turn on some kind of good music and, and what I'm doing is raising my frequency. You know, I'm going in that state and with the praise is kind of meditating as well. And so then what I'm doing with the wpp, once I go out there into the world, I got my arm, I'm turned on. And you know, I always say creativity is a new commodity for sure. Like if people, you know, I teach a lot of branding, a lot of social content and it's like you have a block because all you're doing is consuming and you're never creating. So this like a byproduct of this is fresh. Ideas come. You're like, where did that come from? Oh, my gosh. Like, what I do when I'm done with the WPP is I'll go move. And that's when, again, more ideas flow. All that stuff before I get on Zoom, before I start, you know, checking Instagram and all these things. But even then, I'm still owning my future and knowing what's my schedule, what's going on, you know, it is. It's huge. And then the back end of it. And I'm really keen on, you know, setting a standard of like 8pm no phones in bedroom, or at least business in bedroom. And I mentor a lot of women that are like power chicks. And they're like, how do I be more in my feminine? I'm like, you got to. You got to, like, come back to your feminine nature. You know, we're always oscillating between both.

I could see that.

Yeah, yeah. And let's say it's a real thing for women, and it really is. Especially power chicks.

Right.

And so I turn on my. I love that term power chick.

Yeah.

Because every woman's a power chick.

You just gotta unleash it or unlock it, Right?

Absolutely. So what I do in the evening is put on some good music, take a bath, do my whole nighttime routine, do stretching. It's really big. Like, we have an outdoor patio where I'll do all my stretching. I unwind and read a little bit. I maybe study material for the next day if I have a guest coming on or a speech I need to give or a program I need to write. And that's just really my, like, my time. And then I go to bed and get my eight hours, and I feel great. And I don't feel so, like, chaotic. I don't. I just don't do that.

No matter how much work you do, it's not necessarily that your fears will go away. Maybe some of them can go away. But I very much have just learned how to support myself through them. So, you know, public speaking for me has my fear and anxiety is so real, it drives. It can drive Chris absolutely crazy. It's that bad beforehand. He's like, how can you still be this way this many years later? He's like, you're doing this to yourself. I'm like, I swear. I'm not like, I swear. So I've learned how to support myself through that also. Just doing new things. Like, I. I'm a person who loves new things, but when you go into new territory, you're a beginner again.

Yeah.

So learn. I've learned how to support myself in being a beginner. And in that feeling of when I feel like a fraud, I just rem okay, this is the feelings of beginners. Like, go surround yourself with people who have done it before and go talk about it. If there's something I'm afraid of, I no longer stay quiet. Like, all of my girlfriends, all of my friends, they're gonna know exactly what I'm dealing with. And ask Chris, they're gonna know 10 times over. Because I need to talk about it now. Until I know that if I haven't, if it's not going away and I don't feel supported with it yet, then I haven't talked about it enough.

I was getting a divorce from my first husband, who. His family business had fallen apart, and he had started drinking. I mean, his whole life imploded. He'd started drinking, and thank God I had started this business. This idea of starting this little business out of a bedroom in my home allowed us to pay the bills while he was figuring it out. And in many ways, I thought, you know, I'm going to be as successful as I can be, just until he gets back on his feet. And then I realized he's not getting back on his feet. And it ultimately led to us. Hard conversation, getting a divorce. And I remember going to my family and saying, I'm going to move to New York City. Now. At this time, I'd grown up in Virginia Beach. I was living in Charlotte, North Carolina. I'd never lived in a big city. I'd only been to New York City twice on a quick little trip. And I say to my mom, who had always been super positive and super supportive of anything I wanted to do, like, a lot of my credit, a lot of my success is because of my mother. So I go to this person. I bet a lot of you can relate to this. You go to someone that you've trusted with this big vision you have, and she's like, barry, you can't move to New York City. Like, you don't know anybody there. And it's the most expensive city in the country, and you're just starting out, starting your life over again, and you're starting this new business, and it's still fairly young. And why don't you live in the basement? Your dad and I could fix up the basement. You have your own entrance, and you can get your life back together while you're figuring it out. And I remember this moment, and it's hard to if you've ever had to say something to a parent that you really like, admire their wisdom. To go against that is hard. But I remember thinking just instantly, like, if I go in that basement, I'm never coming out. Like, literally or figuratively, I'm gonna die there. Like, you don't go 38 years old and into your parents basement, the divorce and come out, you know. And so I was like, no, I'm. I'm moving to New York City. I know it's crazy. And this is a part about common sense. There's common sense and there's also intuition. And my intuition was, I know I'm meant for more. I know I'm meant to live in a bigger place and do bigger things, and I can't do it in the same environment. I've got to break through this environment to be the bigger version of myself. And when I did that, I knew. My mom thought I was crazy, my sister thought I was crazy, my friends thought I was crazy because I was leaving everything that was safe and comfortable and going to a place where literally I knew no one and starting over again. But moving to New York City and getting this little apartment on Broadway, like a hat trick just to get that apartment. But thank God, my little. My landlord, Ralph Saab. I'll be forever grateful to someone. When you're using common sense and intuition sometimes and you're doubling down on yourself, there'll be someone out there who believes in you just enough to give you a chance. And that was my landlord, Ralph Saab. He said yes to me, even though on paper it was a crazy choice, but he and said yes. And in that apartment in New York City, I doubled the size of my business that year. And then the next year I doubled it again. And I worked tirelessly. Like, to your point, Dean, it's not like a magic wand. It's not like you decide this all of a sudden, everything appears. But it's in making the decision, that combination of common sense, what makes sense for me, what is knowable and true and intuition. I know I meant for more. It's at the intersection of those two things, I think that we do own our future and step outside our comfort zone. And if you're thinking about doing something like this, you know, I heard someone say this recently. Getting out of your comfort zone doesn't have to mean going out on a ledge. Like New York City was a ledge for me. I went way out of my comfort zone to do that. But if you're just getting started on something like this, Whether you're thinking of starting own business or you've started your own business or you're growing your own business out of your comfort zone, could be one step out of your comfort zone. Doesn't have to be a mile outside your comfort zone. But I do think it's those baby steps that define us and take us where we're supposed to be. And for me, that was one of the most pivotal moments in my life is just saying yes to what I knew to be true. Even if it made no sense to anybody else.

It makes zero sense that I won. Quite frankly, if you think about the amount of like Ed Mylett and Russell Brunson. In fact, Russell was my mentor, so. And I beat Russell.

Right.

And the only mistake that I made made was was I kept visualizing myself winning number two. And I'm going to tell you something I pictured once I finally made the decision, I had to quit asking how and I had to ask who. And you said the worst advice you can get is bad advice. Right. And. Or learning from somebody who hasn't done the thing because they're just going to teach you wrong. It's in your book Millionaires Success Habit. And I cannot tell you how true that is. And even sometimes the people that love you the most will tell you not to do it. Right. My dad. I am his favorite person in the world. And my dad is the. He was the best dad grow him.

He still is.

He's one of my best friends. And when I wanted to be. When I wanted to become a coach, originally to teach real estate agents, I was making about $1.8 million a year in GCI, was 47 years old. My dad said, honey, we love you, but normal people at 47, nobody's going.

To pay you to coach them.

It took me 14 years to make a million dollars in a year. After hiring the right coach, I made a million dollars in 11 months. Then I paid the higher price, and now we've averaged 1.55 million a month past 28 months in a row.

Wow.

So we did $18 million in our business last year.

Wow.

Congratulations. Thank you.

Well, it's getting more now, but thanks.

To you giving me the courage to. To start this new business. Now we're. We're helping. We're helping a lot more people. So my goal is I really wanted to. And I know people say this a lot like, oh, I want to help people, but I really do have a love for people. I love people. And I'm the one that wants to hug everybody.

Right?

When I see them, and, and I was like, how can I. In fact, my manifesto says that I make a positive impact on the world. And I was thinking, I can't just do it with just realtors, right? I'm never going to be able to make that. So now I'm teaching people the same model that are. And they're all coaches that are then helping other people. So now I really, truly am able to really make this big impact. But I would have been able to do that had I just, you know, I have this thing called the monetization multiplier. And it's like the more people you can reach at one time and you can reach like you do, right? Think about how many people you're. You're helping. Just from this podcast from mastermind.com from all the things that you're doing, you're able to add a massive amount of value to a large amount of people all at one time. And when you can add more value to more people and make more of an impact, you're going to influence them and which also positively influences yourself. And then you're going to be able to make more money, right? More impact, more influence on a mass scale, make more money. I would not have been able to do that, number one, as a real estate agent, number two, just only being a real estate coach because there's, there's the. I can't reach the masses, whereas now, now I can.

The irony is, it's so obvious now that I've done it that this is what I should be doing. However, didn't know this business existed. Dean, this is going to sound crazy to you, I know, but didn't know you existed. Right. When I was in corporate, I was in that corporate bubble. And for whatever reason, I didn't pick my head up outside of that arena very often to see what was happening in other industries where my unique talents could be an asset and deliver value elsewhere. I just never thought about it. I thought, this is the lane I'm in. I'm good at this. Stay in your lane. Stay focused on what you're doing. The irony for me is that I had been speaking for 20 years in corporate America. You didn't get paid for it back then. It was part of your job to represent the company that you were with. And so I didn't even know there was a speaker business because we didn't pay speakers in the media business. People would come and want to speak for us for free because they wanted us to elevate them in media. So I didn't even know that was a thing. So that's, it's so we know so little. We only know what's happening in our little microcosm of the world. And when I got fired, I wrote Elvis Duran said to me, you're writing a book. I said, I am writing a book. He spoke a truth and a conviction and a confidence into me. I ran with it. Google, how do you write a book? Figured it out and wasn't that hard, by the way, you sit down and write and then you hire an editor. People like to overthink that one. But anyways, cut to. I've got a book. And I'm like, oh, I know how to sell. I'm just going to start cold calling companies and say, hey, I'll come in and speak for you if you buy X amount of books. That was my big strategy at first because I figured it made sense. And all of a sudden one day a company I call says, what's your speaker fee? I said, one minute please. And I googled speaker fee. And real time.

In real time. Just Googling.

Yeah, of course. I believe done is better than perfect. Like I want to try this up. Just move forward and I'll figure it out on the way. Make lots of mistakes, but I'll figure it out. And so Gary Vaynerchuk came up. Top of the page, must have been an ad or something. And it was $350,000 for a 60 minute keynote with Gary Vaynerchuk. And I remember thinking my time might be better spent getting into this business than the book business. And I started changing what I was doing. That's when I leaned into getting my TEDx talking and really getting into speaking, figuring out the agent business, whatever. And then that blew up and gave me the opportunity to start teaching people how to do it because again, data doesn't lie. And when you're seeing a lot of messages from people and getting a lot of questions around the same topics, that's a potential business and revenue stream for you. And I hadn't thought of it that way because I, you know, again, I didn't know about this whole personal development space. Mastermind didn't even know what that meant. So I had to learn a lot about a new industry. These were innate skills and talents I had, but I didn't realize they could be monetized in the fashion that they could and help so many people.