Dean Graziosi recounts a Tony Robbins 'Date With Destiny' intervention where a man contemplating suicide had spent decades focusing on what he didn't want. Robbins forces him to contrast his 'don't want' list with a 'do want' list; when the man articulates clear desires (e.g., wanting a relationship), his emotional state and behavior shift dramatically. Graziosi uses this story to teach that focusing attention on what you want (specific, positive goals) rather than repeatedly thinking about what you don't want helps manifest better outcomes and uplift your life. He issues a week-long challenge to replace 'don't want' lists with 'do want' lists and asks listeners to share the message.
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One thing really stood out that I wanted to share with you today, and it happened on Tony Robbins stage. Welcome to the Dean Graziosi show. All success starts right here. I want to share one thing. This is relevant to you. With everything I'm reading. Combine that there was a gentleman. When Tony does date with destiny, he literally asks if there's anybody in the audience that's thinking about suicide. Pretty tough question to ask. And Tony says, I'm guessing about 10. With the size of this audience, nine people raised their hand. This gentleman raises his hand, and Tony walks out in the audience, gets right up to him and says, can you tell me what's going on in your life? He's like, well, my mom was sick when I was young, so I quit college and decided to take care of her for a year. And he said, a year turned into 20 something years, and she lasted, and I was there taking care of her. And he's like, I never dated. I didn't go out, and now my mom passed away. And he said, I am the person who gets made fun of at the office. I don't know how to dress. I've never been with a woman. I've never even kissed a woman. I don't know how to date. I've tried online dating, and I embarrass myself. There's no purpose this life. I go to work, I get nothing. I don't want to be here anymore. So Tony does some things that are completely shocking. I wanted to go up and hug the guy, but Tony was right. He's the one who knows how to do this. Tony shocked him and said, all right, that story would make me want to kill myself. How long you been telling that crap story? And that's only done not because he doesn't care. He wants to shock him out of this state of, like, getting into it, right? So long story short, what I want to share with you is this. Tony does some things. He gets him up on stage, and he gets two chairs, and he puts a chair over here. And he puts a chair over here. And he puts a whiteboard here. And he puts a whiteboard over here. And this is the lesson for today. He says to him, okay, I hear all the things you're going through. Tell me what you don't want. So Tony writes, really sloppy. If you've ever been to his event, you can't even read what he says. He says, what don't you want? And the guy says, he says, I don't want to be alone. I'm going to just scribble I'm not going to write all this out. I'm just going to tell you. And this is how fast Tony is. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to get made fun of. I don't want to feel insecure. I don't want to. I don't want to be in a job I hate. And this guy goes on, and Tony can't write as fast as what he doesn't want. He doesn't want to be sad at night. He doesn't want to feel that he's facing the world all by himself. He doesn't want to feel like a weirdo when he goes. He literally said weirdo when he goes to a party and leaves. Insecure. And Tony's just writing and scribbling like this. And Tony's making a mess. He's like, whoo. Okay. So he gets Tony. Tony gets him up, comes over to this other chair, sits him in the other chair, and he says, what do want? What do you want? He says, okay, tell me what you want. And the guy sits there and goes, I don't want to be alone anymore. Tony says, ah, no, no, no. That's on this list. That's what you don't. You don't want to be alone. Okay, tell me this. He says, he thinks. He says, I don't want to get made fun of anymore. Tony goes, that's what you don't want. This gentleman could not say for minutes, it seemed like an hour, what he wanted. So think about that. That's like getting in your car and you're going to go on a trip. And you get in the car, and the family's in the car, the kids are in the back, and you say, we're going on a trip. We're not going to go to Florida. Let's go. Well, where the hell are you going? And then I combine that with everything I'm reading and knowing my personal life and the things I've manifested and thought about. When you think about what you don't want, if you think about, I don't want to be alone. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to be alone, what happens? You are alone. Because what you put your attention on is what you get. This poor guy did not have a list of what he wanted. Finally he said, I want to be in a relationship. Tony said, hallelujah, he wants something. What kind of girl do you want? He went, oh, I don't know. He didn't even he wanted a relationship. He barely knew he wanted a relationship. When he said he wanted a relationship. He didn't know what kind of girl, what color hair, how old, what she did for a living. Do you want somebody who's positive, negative, what? He literally spent so many years thinking about what he didn't want. All he kept doing is compounding and manifesting what he didn't want. And I watched this guy's life change when he did simply one thing, made a list of what he wanted. And Tony said to him, and then again, all the things that I've done in my own personal life. What if you woke up tomorrow and made sure you didn't think about what you didn't want? You just envisioned what you wanted and it was coming true? Tomorrow will be the same no matter what you tell your brain. If you're in debt, if you have an illness right now, if you don't feel the best, you're going through a divorce or a troubled relationship, or you're in a dead relationship and you don't know how to fix it. Here's the thing. If you focus on what you don't want, it's still going to be there either way. But what if you focus on making that relationship, finding a spark or maybe ending something that's really bad or finding somebody new? Or focus on, yes, I'm in debt right now, but I'm going to focus on where I want to go when I'm not out of debt. Because again, tomorrow will be there and you will be living in the moment you're in, and you have a choice. Do I want to focus on what's wrong and what I don't want, or do I want to focus on what I do want? That was such a powerful thing when I got to watch that for. And I watched him go from this guy in a state of wanting to kill himself, writing what he wanted. And Tony went deep on him. Do you know, 15 minutes later, he was up on stage, they spiked his hair, they rolled up his sleeves. He was on stage dancing. Like I had never seen the smile. It was probably the biggest. He said it was the most fun he had ever had in his life. Only because he stopped thinking for just one minute what he didn't want and started thinking what he did. So my challenge to you this week. Is how many things are on your I don't want list that are causing you to get exactly that. And I want you to delete that list and I want you to make the do want list and try each day this week to focus on what you want. Even if you're going through hell, even if you're in a tough time in your life, focus on what you want and watch how it uplifts you and can take you on another level. Listen, I do these podcasts week after week for you for free, to empower you with capabilities to go to the next level, to set the foundation for success. And we're growing so fast right now we're number 22 in the world in the entrepreneur category. And I want more people to gain this knowledge for free. So if you love what we deliver, then share it with a friend. Comment, take a screenshot, post it on Instagram, tag me. Let's get this message out to those that need it, especially in today's shifting times. What's up? What's up? Hey, before you go, you need to watch these next few videos. They're absolute game changers. Hurry up and click right over here and watch them, and I'll see you there.
