"Use This FORMULA To Achieve ANYTHING YOU WANT!" | Dean Graziosi

What if you knew on this, if you got through the loop, it's what propels you, and it's the only thing to the next level. Who in here wants to go to another level? Okay. If you do, you have to fight through this because not most people aren't willing to do it. One of the most common questions I have is, I heard your story and you failed miserably. How did you come back? Anybody ever wonder that? Like, how do you bounce back when something goes sideways, right? But stuff doesn't go sideways just once. Who knows that stuff's gonna go sideways again in their life? Even if things are great right now, who's going through a really shitty situation right now? If you're honest, who's been through some really tough situations, Right? So the thing is, if someone's gonna again, Tony. I started a $100,000 year mastermind with my buddy Joe Polish. He'll be here later today. And Tony and I think, yeah, Joe's awesome. And then I started. Tony and I are, starting in November. It launches a $250,000 a year mastermind. And my time is getting so limited, so I'm only doing the masterminds that I really like, love, and enjoy anyway. But when someone pays you, just like the amazing group, my organized brilliance group, they're like my family. When someone pays you, it's not enough just to be good at something, because most of us in this room, and you don't realize it, your unconscious competence, you're successful enough to be in this room, that means you're good at something or multiple things that allow you to make money to do things, and you don't even realize how you're good at it. You just got good. So it's not enough if someone pays me that kind of money, it's not enough to have somebody come into my presence and I just share my stories. Like, stories are good. But I have to do something one step further, which I think everybody in this room should be doing. I'll talk about it tomorrow. I'll tell you the company Tony and I are launching April 30. I have to extract what I've done. I have to look back, and I have to create a process so you guys could replicate what I've done or what other people have done. Does that make sense? And even teaching isn't enough just to teach. Because if you just teach and share, it doesn't impact and doesn't make you feel like, oh, I could do this. So I just want to let you know, when I Come up here. This isn't like, hey, I'm just going to go up and tell that story of how I was successful. It's like, no. I painstake over what's allowed me to stay relevant on TV for 21 years. What's allowed me to go from that broke kid with dyslexia to fail to have an accountant rob all my money, to lose all my money 10 years ago because of just a bad partnership. How did I come back from all those? It wasn't just will. It wasn't just grit. There was a process. So what I'm going to share today is me looking over the last 30 something years of being an entrepreneur, and how did every time something go sideways, how did I come back? And not how did I come back? How did I come back stronger? How did I actually propel to the next level? And I created a framework that I'm calling the Success Loop. You guys want to see it? That was weak. You guys want to see it? There we go. All right, now I want to share it. So I'm calling it the Success Loop. So let's just start here. The first thing, the hard realization. So what's a hard realization? A hard realization is something most of us have had in our lives. A hard realization is when you're sitting in a job someplace and you go, I, I can't do this another day. Or you're in a relationship that's toxic, and you say, today, I'm fixing this relationship, or I'm out. Or you have a realization where you say, enough with struggling over money. I'm fixing this. Enough of listening to my family. I love them, but they're wrong. A hard realization is a moment in your life that things shift dramatically and significantly. The other thing that happens is an incident. An incident is when you're not in control and it happens to you. That's when you show up at work and the doors are locked, or you hear you're fired, or your partner says, I don't want to do business anymore, or your ads stop working because an algorithm change or. Or an industry shuts down because new technology disrupts it and the industry you're in is over. Or you walk in the room and someone says to you, the relationship is over. The two big things in life are having a hard realization or an incident. And to me, those are the two things that are the start of the loop. And this is where. And just those little arrows, any one of these arrows is a moment of decision. A moment where you can jump off and have the story of how it almost worked for you. I want you to think about this, and this is no disrespect at all, but I take an Uber probably. I bet you I'm in an Uber at least three to four days a week. I'm always traveling. Uber's amazing. I love it. If I am in an Uber with a foreigner, someone from a different country, I get to hear their entrepreneurial journey. I love talking to all of them. Where they came from, the struggles they went through. They're sending money back to, you know, where their homeland is to help their family. Some of them have two jobs or two cars. They're literally up all night doing workers, going after the entrepreneurial spirit. But I also noticed sometimes, and no disrespect, if anybody's an Uber driver, sometimes if I get an American person and they recognize me, I'll hear the story of this incident or this hard realization and they bailed out. I'll get in an Uber, and a guy will say, hey, you know, in 2006, I had a lot of real estate. I was on my way to being a millionaire. Then the market crashed, and, man, it robbed everything for me. Screw that. I'm never feeling that pain again. But then I'll listen to him talk and go, you know. But I was thinking. I've been watching. I was thinking of getting one of your courses, and I got your. Like, they're on the fringe. But that one incident made them bail and live flat. So on this loop again, as you go through this, by the time we're done, I'm gonna. I want you guys to. I'm kind of giving the punchline of the joke at the end. We're. What I want you to see at the end of this framework that I'm gonna share is that you can find a way to be grateful for all the crap you went through and the stuff that's gonna come. Because what if you knew if you got through the loop, it's what propels you, and it's the only thing to the next level. Who in here wants to go to another level? Okay, if you do, you have to fight through this. Cause not most people aren't willing to do it. The majority of the people, soon as the hiccups come, the money doesn't happen, the relationship is over, we bail. I don't trust men. I don't trust women. This doesn't feel right. Partners suck. How about when someone has one incident in their life and they judge everybody forever? I have some of the best partners on the planet. I have the best relationships. You're gonna meet. Brendan Burchard will be here tomorrow. My partner, Ethan Willis, gonna be here today. My partner, one of the smartest people in the world. I. I love those guys like family. Tony Robbins and I partner. I have the best partners ever. So it's just a different scenario, right? But I know people who've had partners, like, never partner again. So this is just gonna change that. So I'm gonna tell you a story through the eyes, tell this loop. Cause I look back, I mean, what would be the best example of this in my own life? So a hard realization. I'm gonna tell you this story really quick. In. I started Motor Millions was my first infomercial. I filmed it in my front yard in Marlboro, New York, in 1998. I go on TV. I have no clue what I'm doing. The only reason I was on TV is cause I bought Tony Robbins course 3 years prior from an infomercial. He impacted. The guy took money from me, gave me information, and it changed my life. I'm like, I want to be in that business. I want to be in the information, change in life business. Like, pay to help people. I mean, literally, could I be in any better place in my life? I get to pay to help somebody. So I get that. I film that infomercial. I get on tv. I fail miserably. I move out to Phoenix, I'm moving back. I'm literally going back and forth for a whole two years. I'm flying a week in Phoenix, a week in New York, going back and forth. And in New York, I'm working on cars and real estate. And I come out to Phoenix and I'm working on my infomercial, trying to figure it out. At one point, I was losing five grand. Every single week. I have to go flip houses. Literally, I was flipping houses. I. I'd make 36 grand, put it in the account and be like, okay, I got five more weeks to try to make this damn information business work. Did that forever. I finally get momentum. Break about 5 million in sales. Maybe I'm heading towards 10 million in sales. Not super profitable. But now I want to merge. I already created the course called Think a little Different. Anybody remember that course a million years ago? It's how Matt got started. So I create Think a little different. And I want to merge from cars because what really made me wealthy, cars got me started. Real estate made me wealthy. So I want to launch the Think a Little different course simultaneously. It's like heaven heard me And I get a company that comes and wants to buy Motor Millions. So they come and they talk. They kind of said, you know, he did a nice job. That's cute. Kind of like patting me on the head and like, we're going to make it big. We want to buy it from you. So I'm so excited. I'm like, yeah, yeah, whatever. And they offer me millions of bucks and they want to pay me out quarterly. I'm like, cool, I'll take the deal. I was so aggressive. I wanted to do it. So I move on to think a little different. They take Motor Millions, I'm out. My deal is I got to work with them like 10 hours, month. That was it. So the first quarter comes, I don't get my check. I'm like, okay. And the guy calls me and he gives me his stories. Like, no, we're just moving things around. I'm like, okay. He says, I'll double up at the next quarter. But things are going great. So now the check's not coming for the second quarter. I'm six months in. I can't get them on the phone. My attorney calls me and says, they launched a campaign. They tried something new, very corporate style. It failed miserably. There's over a million dollars in people that want their money back and they owe about a half a million dollars in bills and they're not paying them. He's like, and it's still attached to your name, so you're gonna have to file bankruptcy. That's an incident. Now here. I want to tell you, when they. When he said that I was on a cordless, not a cell phone, I was on a cordless phone. I'm in my house. And soon as he said that, I'd love to say that, you know, what I did was I just aligned my chakras and I meditated. I was like, this is going to be amazing. We're going to fix this. No, I literally was like. And I took my phone and I smashed my phone into the wall. It shattered in a million pieces. And then I did what most people do. I started stacking self hatred. I started thinking everything that could go wrong. I started thinking, oh my God, I gotta file bankruptcy. This is gonna be in the paper. I was thinking, all my friends and family back in New York who said I was crazy and a dreamer, they were all right. Then. I stacked so much. Maybe none of you guys, you guys have never done this right. I started thinking. I started thinking everybody was right. I'm not that smart. I should have Went to college. Who the hell do I think I am trying to do a big corporate sellout? I'm not smart enough for this. I should have got a different attorney. I should have done things different. I started to. I went so deep down this rabbit hole of self hatred and negative stacking. I had already, by that time, been giving my parents a check every week. So neither one of them were working. I was like, oh, my God, I'm gonna have to go work for somebody for. I was literally thinking about who I could go work for at a job. And I'm like, I wonder if I can get paid five grand a week that'll support my mom and my dad still. So I didn't have to tell them that's how far I stacked. No sleep, sick to my stomach, like, just like wanting to vomit. And at those moments, you feel like it's over, right? Who's ever felt like it's over? I can't get out of this hole. This hole's too big. I ain't making it. I can't do it. But again, this isn't something I knew at this time. This is me. And I want to be transparent, reflecting back on how the hell did I get out of that? And I'm creating this framework. So I start stacking the negativity. And I don't know if it was three days, three weeks, or a month, but I realized my process is, the next one is I started the reverse stack. I started stacking what could go right. And here's what I know. Our brains. Because I'm optimistic as hell, but our brains, I legit believe. And somebody smarter than me might know this to be true. Our brains are designed to focus on what could be wrong. Because I would start stacking what could go right. This is gonna be a lesson I'll learn more for. Think a little different so I can impact more lives. I'll be stronger. I'll get through this. And I think about it and I'd be like, I'd start to feel better. And then all of a sudden, shoop. I'd slip back down to all the things that could go wrong. And I. You know when the worst part, I used to think about it at like one o' clock in the morning. No one's ever done that either, right? And you just obsessively like your brain. Remember the two voices I was talking about yesterday? I'm like, would you shut up? I'm trying to go to sleep. Because I would think through the whole thing and then like, ugh. And Then my brain would start thinking about the whole crappy situation again for hours, right? So as I was stacking the positive though, I started coming up with solutions. So my attorney tells me I gotta file bankruptcy. And I go on to what's next? And I'll tell you this, the next one was who I do not want to be. I really started thinking about this. Now listen, I love positive psychology, I love personal growth, but I'm also obsessed with shortcuts. I'm also obsessed that how do I get the end result? I want at the quickest way possible, in the quickest way possible. So I started thinking again, looking at this, and I've done this, and I'll share other situations. Who do I not want to be? I didn't want to be someone that used to be successful. I didn't want to be the person where friends and family were like, oh, Mr. Big Shot thought he was going to go to Arizona and start this big. Now look at him. Ha ha. I knew it. I didn't want that. The truth is, I watched my dad work his ass off his entire life to have nothing and watched my dad get very like, my dad always has someone to blame. Just being honest. It's someone's fault. It's the president's fault, it's the economy's fault, it's my mom's fault, it's somebody's fault. And I hate that for him, not for me. I hate it for him. Because there's always a villain in his life. There's always somebody that caused it. And I started thinking, man, this guy that bought my company, screw him. Like, should I sue him? Should I have somebody go kick his ass? Like, literally, I was thinking of these things. And I have those people too. But anyway, I'm kidding, not really. And one of them's here, but that's a whole different story. I started thinking all these, like, really mad thoughts. But when I would think through who I like the self hatred and the stacking. But when I would think about who I wanted to be, I wanted to be a guy who took freaking responsibility for the actions I took. I jumped into that deal too quick because I wanted out. I wanted to work on, think a little different. I was responsible. Nobody put a gun to my head. And I started thinking, I want to be a man who stands up for his fricking decisions. I want to be someone that doesn't blame other people. And this is going to be really personal. I started thinking, I don't want to be my dad. And that cuts through A lot of personal growth shit. Because you get right to the point, who the hell do I not want to be? And I started stacking that against with the reverse stack, and I started come up with solutions. I called my attorney. I said, I'm not filing bankruptcy, because if I file bankruptcy, the world for the rest of my life will be like, oh, that's the guy that once filed bankruptcy. I didn't want to be a guy who filed bankruptcy. Do you think I could tell the whole world the story? No, no, no. I sold the company. These other guys screwed it up. They took my money, they robbed me, poor me. And then I could turn around the back and say, where else do you want to go? Today in my Uber. I'm kidding. So I started thinking of all this. I'm like, how do I fix it? And here's the cool part. The cool part was that I hired two awesome ladies and we called 100% of the people almost $2 million. And $2 million to me then could have been 200 million. I didn't have 2 million. So she called every single person that we're owed money, and she goes, what are we going to say? I said, I don't know anything else except to tell them the truth and that we're sorry and can we work something out? Do you know? 90% of the people that were owed money took payment plans and said, hey, tell Dean we feel bad. We'll do whatever we can to help. How amazing was that 10%? We call them the screamers. They were just like, screw him. Give me my damn money. So we paid the screamers first. Sorry, but that's the internal conversation. And I said, if there's somebody that's a screamer, just pay them and say we're sorry. And everybody else went on a payment plan. Think a little different. I learned so much. It launched. It was an incredible company. The profits I made from think a little different. I took them every single week for over a year. I'd make 20, 30 grand a week net profit. And I'd be like, oh, that's adorable. Okay, girls, here you go. That's legit. I did that for a year straight. So as you go through this, you have a hard realization. You have stacking and hatred. You have the reverse stack. Then you figure out who you don't want to be. This is the next part of it, is who do you want to be? Who do you want to be when a situation goes sideways? I wanted to be someone who could say, I went through that and came out Better I wanted to be. I like being the underdog. I don't know about you guys. I love when people underestimate me. I love when people think I can't or I won't come through or I won't win. And the more you get through shit like this, you got to think about it. Problems and things going wrong are nothing more than navigating new territory. It's like you're mapping out the earth. And the more you know, the more places you can go. You guys, if you watch me on social media, you know, I always say, if you want more success, get bigger problems. Everybody thinks we're on this earth to avoid problems. Not me. I'm a place in my life. Bring that shit on. Bigger problems have more zeros at the end. Simple as that. Somebody cuts you off in traffic or you cut them off in traffic and they flip you the bird and tell you to go die. When I see them, like, oh, you need bigger problems. I'm so sorry. This is the biggest deal of your life. Aw. Like that's how I feel. Like literally I'm in a phase of my life that if I order medium rare steak and they bring me well done pork, and I don't even eat pork, I just eat it. Who cares? I mean, literally, at the end of your Life, when we're 90 and we're on our deathbed, are you gonna be going that fucking pork? Dammit. I can't believe that waiter. I hope that waiter is next to me in the bed. Like, no, you won't give two shits about that. Like, think about it. If we want to solve bigger problems, okay? One of my first real estate deals, I made about 1500 bucks. I was so sick over that deal, I thought I lost it at the last minute. I was up late, someone came in and offered more than me and my contract wasn't signed. I literally stayed up all night going. I knew I should have signed that contract yesterday. Somebody else got the deal. I was sick to my stomach, like dying over to make 1500 bucks. About a year ago, I sat at a table and did a $19 million deal, signed the paperwork, got a check for 19 million bucks that wasn't all mine. Had to go to banks and stuff, but. And when I literally was walking out of the, out of the title company hit me right there. It was the same amount of stress to get a $19 million check. Again, not saying it was all mine, but it was a 19 million dollar check as it was for the $1,500 check. So if I'm gonna have problems, then just play the game bigger. Take on bigger problems. Have the way to solve them that other people can't. And when you do, when people avoid things, where there's a problem, there's opportunity. One person's problem is your profit. Like in every area of life, if someone passes away, that's terrible, it's a problem. But the mortician, that's his life. Like, it doesn't matter. Where there's a problem, there's opportunity. Learn to solve problems. And learn to say, I got this. And know the advantage at the end is when you solve the problem, you navigated more territory. So when I launched Think a little Different, I came out of the gate really strong in some areas that I was weak at before I went through this. Make sense? Can I get a yup? So here's the one that I think is really going to anchor it in for you guys. We've all learned that. We've all learned that we need to have a bigger future. Right or wrong. I even said it yesterday. We need to know where we're going. But what most people don't realize is pain will drive you more than pleasure. We know the two things that drive every human being. Every decision you make, everything you do in your life is based on pain or pleasure. You want to move away from something painful. Who here right now wants to move away from something painful? Right? Who in here wants to move towards something more pleasureful? Right. That's always about 50, 50, right? Some of you are not in a great space. You just want new. Others are doing okay. You just want more. That's okay. That's what drives all of us. But when we set goals, when we set a bigger future for ourselves, we. When we want that next level, what we usually do is we just focus on the benefit of getting what it is at the end of that rainbow, at the end of that desire, Right? So this is the part that I think is really important is projecting a painful future if you don't get through this. If I can remember in this situation, literally thinking about and I'm really detailed and I think it's really been a benefit for me to be visual. I was thinking, okay, it's five years from today. I say, poor me, this company screwed me. I file bankruptcy. Where will I be in five years if I let that be my. Like that's how you describe me, right? I was literally picturing me working for someone else, driving to work the same way every day. The conversations at lunch with co workers like that Shit. Just like, oh, it's pain now. It doesn't mean it's bad. You guys might do it. But for me, that's like death. Like having to go to a corporate Christmas party. For me, oh, my God, I'd rather die. I'm not kidding. I cut off a pinky toe before I'd have to go. So I was thinking about all that stuff. I was thinking about, hey, you got to keep your. Again, I'm not knocking. We're all different. There's things that I love, you think would be crazy. Like when I see someone, like, on a plane taking all their receipts and they're putting them into an Excel spreadsheet to give to their boss so they can do their accounting or get their reimbursement, I'm like, oh, my God. Like, I get anxiety. I'm like, oh, my God. Like, I started thinking about not being able to do what I want to do when I want to do it. I started thinking about wanting to pick my kids up from school, and my boss saying, not today. We got a long one. Like, ah. So, like, I literally started obsessing on all the shit where my life would be if I didn't go through it. Because we are more in line to make movements and changes to run away from pain than we are towards pleasure. Think about that. We will make changes based on pain more than pleasure. If I said, hey, let's be partners, and if we do good, man, we're gonna make a million bucks, that'd be exciting, right? And, like, I'd go for that. But if I said, but if it doesn't work out, I gotta take everything out of your bank account, you'd be like, oh, okay, I'm not gonna do that deal, right? Pain will outdo pleasure, so why not use it as leverage? Instead of ignoring the pain, why not dance with the pain? Why not make it your friend? Why not, like, loathe in it and feel it? If I don't fix this, if I don't get through it, this will be my life. You know, on a really personal note, I did this same exact thing a couple years ago, going through a divorce. It was the hardest thing I'd ever done, and it had nothing to do with my relationship. My ex and I knew our relationship was over a long time ago. We were just both really freaked out about the kids so much. It was the first time in my life that I got anxiety. I was literally popping a Xanax two days a week. This is my life. This is what I do. And I'M popping a Xanax just to feel like a human being. And I have access to everyone. I flew. Tony flew out here and helped me through it. My buddy Dr. Amen helped me through it. I had a therapist. I got all the best friends. Brendan flew in. I mean, I get access to everybody. I was losing my mind because my parents were married nine times. I moved a gazillion times. I felt like I was just repeating it and I was gonna hurt my children. And the pain of thinking I was gonna hurt them, it was really inside of me. But I was reliving my childhood, something I had just ignored my whole life. And all of a sudden it came out like a cork popped off a champagne bottle. And I just like, literally was losing. I didn't want to go to the gym. No one knew. I'm forward facing for the whole world. I was like, hey. But I wasn't. And I went through this exact same process. I had a hard realization it was over. I couldn't do another day in the relationship just being like, we all have our stuff and some people could think it's a quitter. No, it was over. For her, it was over. For me, it was over. And I started stacking in my relationship. I wasn't stacking. I'll be alone. And I was stacking. What if my kids change? What if they don't have the same values? I. I do family meetings. I cooked my kids breakfast every day. I had all these things. And all of a sudden that was changing. And I started saying, what if they, you know, what if they're different people? What if they don't love me the same? What if I don't see them? I started all this negative thinking and I did this exact same process. I started thinking about the reverse stack. What if they finally see that, what love can be? What if they finally see a relationship? What if my ex and I become friends? What if both of us find real love in our lives? What if. And I started stacking what could go right for them. And I started thinking about who I didn't want to be. I didn't want to be that person where their kids, when they're 20 years old, go. I knew you and mom should have never been together anyway. I don't know why you did. Right. I started thinking about my kids having zero example of what love was. They saw what good co parenting was. I lived in the guest house for years and I'm like, when I started thinking about who I didn't want to be or something, and then I also. I get up on stage and tell people, be brave, make the decisions. Don't give up. And I'm living. The only part of my life that I'm hiding is because I'm unhappy. I'm like, no. If I'm going to be transparent, if I'm going to be the guy that says he's authentic, I'm just going to do what I say I'm going to do. And I made that decision. And when we figured out who we didn't want to be, I projected the painful future of staying in it. And then the next thing I did is thought about a compelling future. And I literally. And I did this exercise literally with Tony. We're sitting together. He goes, what's your compelling future? And I wrote down everything I wanted for my kids. I wrote down everything I wanted in a new relationship. I wrote down things that were unacceptable in my next relationship. And I literally did this process in my divorce. And I'll tell you right now, I'm in the best relationship of my entire life. I have love on a level I didn't even know existed. Thank you. My kids are thriving. They're not doing good. They are thriving. They're unbelievable. My girlfriend and my kids are getting along. My girlfriend and my ex went to lunch last week. They're buddies now. All of it worked because I got through the pain and I put this off for five years. For five years. I literally woke up every day and say, how are my kids going to be when this doesn't work out? And I didn't do any of that in my business life. That's why I thrived in my business life. Now I just told you something really personal because we're all go through shit, but I'm a better human being right now. My ex is thriving. She's in a great space. She's in a great relationship. It changed. And I'm not an advocate for divorce in any way. That's not what I'm saying. Fight for it. We tried. But I wish that I could give this framework to the whole entire world, because at the end of this is momentum like you wouldn't believe. So what could be your compelling future in the Motor Millions case? I started obsessing on who I wanted to be. I started obsessing on the impact I could make with think a little different. I said, if I don't get through this, everything dies. If I get through this, I can get think a little different. I can show the world how to do real estate. Matt Larson is going to be Here he bought the Think a little different course. That guy was a machine shop worker living in a 300 square foot apartment. And now you know what his business did last year in real estate? $31 million in sales. If I didn't get through that, think of the byproduct of getting through your issues. My kids are going to be better, my relationships are better, the people around me are better. I'm not so grumpy at work anymore. I mean, my employees are not suffering because I'm kidding, not really. But think about if I didn't get through that with Motor Millions, I wouldn't have created. Think a little different. I wouldn't have impacted people like Matt Larson. I wouldn't have written my book Totally Fulfilled, that was my first New York Times best seller. I wouldn't have done any of those things. Think how much is waiting for your children, your life, your family, for you, for the people you're gonna impact if you have a framework and get through the shit you're dealing with right now or the shit you're gonna deal with in the future. Listen, my company, my brand is on fire. Next year will be the biggest year of my entire life. But do you think for one second that, I don't know, another freaking incident or hard realization is coming? There's no way. It's impossible. If you wanna be an entrepreneur, make money, go to the next level. If you think it's all smooth sailing, then bounce out. You know what it's called for having everything the same and no worries. You know what that's called? A job. Go work for somebody else and get a 3.2% raise every year and, you know, two extra days. I'm not saying if you listen, I love the fact that I have the best employees in the world and I want to create intrapreneurs, if that's the right word. My team fight and work so hard to like run their own little business in my company. And I obsessed on giving that to them, giving them ownership, giving them the ability to make more money within a company because they bring in value. I want to create that because I wouldn't want to be locked in a job that's same seat, same clothes, same everything, right? So I created that. And that's why I think we have such loyal employees. No one ever leaves. It's because we created a family. But my whole point is I wouldn't be able to do that for my employees. Now, you guys wouldn't be in this room if we didn't get through this. So it's worth it. So this is the next part and the most important. You have a hard realization. You stack the negative, you reverse it. Think about who you don't want to be. Think about who you want to be. Project the painful future, and then obsess on your compelling future. And I went a little quick to the next one. But when I say a compelling future, do you see how detailed I got when I was talking about a painful future? All the little details, working for someone else, cubicles, Christmas parties, small talk, like, all of that. Flip that upside down. When it's time for your compelling future, just don't write, I want to be financially independent, make more money and do my own thing. Yay. That doesn't work. Think of every little detail. How are you going to feel? What are you going to be doing? How are you going. What are you going to be thinking? What are you going to feel like when you wake up? What are you gonna look like in the mirror? How are you gonna be present with your children? How are you gonna be present with your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your husband, your wife? How are you gonna start that new relationship that you haven't even found in your life yet? How are you gonna be present with. Are you gonna be working? Like, I go so deep on a compelling future that I can predict all of it. And I have to tell you, when you anchor in a compelling future so strong, in my opinion, it's inevitable. It's coming, but most people can't focus on it. We get stuck in what could go wrong. But here's the next part. Next level capabilities. What I realized is, and I said this yesterday, but it's more. It's perfect at this point is your best thinking got you right here and got you where you are in your business, your life, your relationships, your income, the impact you're making in the world. Doesn't. It's not an insult, but it's your best thinking. And I congratulate all of you for the accomplishments. You've all accomplished way more than you give yourselves credit for. Hands down, you've accomplished way more than you give yourself credit for. But in order to get to. And like I was saying yesterday, where you are and where you want to go, this is the point. This is the part where most people bail because you go through. It's like, okay, I had a hard realization. I was negative. Now I'm positive. I know who I don't want to be. I know who want to be. I don't want this crappy future. I want this compelling Future. And then guess what? Most people do, they plug in the same thinking, the same capabilities as that got them in trouble in the first place. To get through this, you need a next level. You need another level of capabilities. When I got to this part in my divorce, I honestly reach out to Dr. Amen. Daniel Amen. He's a dear friend of mine. He went through the same thing 15 years ago. Tony Robbins went through the same exact experience 15 years ago. And they're both in this space. That's what they do for a living. I went and jumped on a plane, flew them. I hired the best love health relationship coach to help me through with my emotions on the planet. Cut the check, talked to her once a week. Like, I gained next level capabilities because that was the only way through. Because the thinking I had already done put me in this phase of my life because I and I didn't know how to think through it on my own. Does that make sense? So this is where you gain. Who's gained some next level capabilities already since you've been here, Right. Who feels you could get through this stronger just by what you got here? Right. So the same thing here when 15 years ago when I wanted to learn how to bond and build a relationship with my students on another level, my buddy Joe Polish had a $25,000 a year mastermind, and that's what he obsessed on. He was great at it. In my business, when I wanted to learn to build a relationship bond, show people I care, I cut a check for 25 grand to gain those capabilities. When I was going through the divorce. Like I said, I gained those capabilities When I was going through Motor Millions. I hired a private consultant to keep me from the wheels coming off someone who had. I found somebody who was an expert of getting out of bankruptcy and handling business like that. And I told him I'm not filing bankruptcy. He was the one who helped architect the whole thing for me. Because I couldn't think through it. I was like blinded. And here's the problem right here, guys, think about this. If you're on a treadmill and you're running on six, right? But your desire is to get someplace you want to go downtown. What happens in a place like this? Because you're all overachievers, you're all a players is in a time like this, it's when we just turn the treadmill up to 10 and we still want to get someplace. All you're doing is just running faster in place. Like, I got to fix this, I got to fix this. But you're using old capabilities, you're using old thoughts. You're asking old friends, you're asking, like I said yesterday, you're asking people's advice that aren't qualified to give you the answers. Right now there's people in your life giving you advice. And if you stick with their advice, you'll have what they have. That's just the way it goes. So this is the point. I want to anchor in. You want to go to the next level. You're going through a loop. You want to evolve. This is where you need to gain next level capabilities. Learning through your own trial and error is the dumbest thing on the planet. When there's people out there that can allow you to go faster. You guys get that? You guys get that? Okay, now this is the part that you really have to anchor in and that's taking action. And you're like, oh, no shit, this is the time to take action. No, it's deeper than that. This is a part of where you have to be courageous. What's courage? What's the definition of courage? There you go. Being afraid and doing it anyway. Courage is jumping out of the plane and growing wings on the way down. That's courage. You don't get confidence until you first have courage. And here's the thing, when you get next level capabilities, it feels really awkward in some cases to do it because you've been doing it this way forever. And all of a sudden you gain a new capability on how to think. Who in here came? Raise your hand. If you came with a friend, you had no idea what you were in for. Okay. I love when you guys come. It's the best out of that group. Who in here had a shift in some of your thinking already? Same amount of people. What happens after you gain new capabilities? It seems so odd. I guarantee some of the people who came here that were drug here were like, I've been seeing that guy Dean. He's always got his damn ads all over YouTube. He's probably gonna be annoying guy gonna make me jump up and down and like be feely feely, touchy, like, you know what I mean? That's what you were thinking. And now you're going, holy shit, this stuff is good, right? Some of you came and said, I'm just gonna go, I want real estate strategies. Remember I told you I'm gonna. About half of this room is in real estate, half's not. But here's the thing, if you trust me, know that what I'm giving you is really what you need. You came for one thing, you're getting the thing, the real thing. Make sense, but this is the part. Some of the capabilities you're gonna learn here. Some of the capabilities you'd learn being in one of my high level masterminds, working with a coach. You're gonna hear something and go, what? No, that's not how I do it. And I want you to think in your subconscious when you say, that's not how I do it. I want you to go, oh, shit. Because that's not how you do it. And that's why you're having this problem. And that's not how you do it. That's why you're not getting to the next level. Fixing the relationship, making the more money, doubling your company, doing more deals. Because your thinking maxed out again. Doesn't make you a thinking is bad. It's just maxed out. And you could take 20 years to figure it out on your own, or you can rob those capabilities in ways that you need. And then you have to do what most people are scared of. You have to have the courage to just go for it. You have to blindly go for it. If you work with the right people, you have to say, they've been there. They won the tennis championship, they won Wimbledon. I'm gonna serve the way they say, right? It's like the golf swing. Anybody ever take a golf lesson and you think you got your golf down, then you go and they make you stand like this. You're like, I don't even understand it. But they know what they're doing. And all of a sudden you practice that way and you get more of a consistent swing. It's the same thing. You have to have courage once you gain the new capabilities and you have to take action. And this next part is where you have to hit the gas. Think about this. Anybody ever be on the back of a boat where someone's pulling a tube and then they whip it around and the tube goes like 400,000 miles an hour? And the worst. Does anybody ever do that? And you didn't know that was going to happen. About 21 years old, I bought a boat and a buddy of mine's driving and he's like, oh, get on the tube. And I'm not a water skier. I don't really like water that much. And he whipped around so hard that I hit a bump and I did cartwheels across the water like it was concrete. He's not my friend anymore. This is. You have to think of that same momentum as you're going through. Everything went wrong. Oh, my God. The hatred. The stacking. The reverse stack. I feel better. Who do I not want to be? Who do I want to be? Painful picture. Compelling future. I got the capabilities. I'm being mentored by someone. I bought the course. I'm in the mastermind. I'm gaining. It feels uncomfortable. Feels different. But they had the success, so I guess I got to do it. I'm taking action anyway. I'm jumping out of the plane now. It's. You just got to put the pedal down because this is when it's whipping around. And the way I look at it in my crazy mind is as it's whipping, if you back up and go, I'm going to go back to my old way. It's like cutting the string on the boat of the tube. What's the tube do? Just go straight out of the loop, doesn't it. It doesn't have the centrifugal force anymore. You just go right back to saying, I was almost there. I had the money. I had the partner, but then my partner stole all the money. This is where success tax comes in, right? It's like you paid it, and you're still saying, I got the capabilities. I'm doing this. Put the gas down. Because when you put the gas down, that's when you get the most momentum in your life. This is where momentum lives again. This isn't something I had going through a hundred, maybe a thousand. There's little loops and there's big loops, right? The company goes bankrupt. Big loop divorce, Big loop. Your key employee leaves. Little loop. Still loop, still painful. Right? This is a process. And again, I wish someone gave me this when I first started because of the impact it's made. So here's what I'd love to do. You guys ready? What's up? What's up? Hey, before you go, you need to watch these next few videos. They're absolute game changers. Hurry up and click right over here and watch them, and I'll see you there.