Dean Graziosi was 43 and missing his family on Thanksgiving morning, so he and his wife cooked a full meal for their kids instead. He argues that how you interpret what happens shapes your reality, and choosing to act differently can shift how you feel.
43
Hey, guys. Welcome to this week's weekly Wisdom. I always think of a better way to say that so I don't have to say week twice, but really only fits when I say this week's weekly Wisdom. How you doing today? Getting ready for the holidays, out there doing your shopping? Hey, I want to share something a little personal today. You know, last week I did a blog and I talked about Thanksgiving. And you know, some of us have not so great memories of the holidays. And I really just want to go deeper on a lot of the things that we talk about because I. And again, so much of this comes through my personal experience, my personal thoughts, my personal feelings. So I talked a little bit about my holidays when I was a kid. I didn't love them and it still lingers on me. I'm 43 years old. I was 43 last week, two weeks ago now. And it's funny how childhood memories can stick with you because I do get a little down on the holidays. But I want to give you an experience so you don't think that my life is just perfect and everything goes great and I wake up and the sun's in the perfect spot and life goes perfect and I'm just happy all the time. I have to work on so many different things. I feel blessed that financially I'm doing amazing, that real estate came into my life, that I got amazing kids. I love all of that and I feel blessed every minute of every day because of it. But don't think that depressing thoughts, sad thoughts don't come into my head. So I want to tell you about my Thanksgiving. So Thanksgiving, my family, my dad's in New York, my mom, sister and nephews and my brother in law are down in Williamsburg, Virginia. And I'm here in Arizona with my wife and two kids. And so Thanksgiving morning we were just going to go to my friend and co worker who works here, Chip's house, and my son Brody woke up really not feeling good, runny nose. And we didn't want to bring around a whole bunch of people. So it's Thanksgiving morning and I started feeling these like sad thoughts, like I miss my mom, miss my dad, miss my family. Haven't seen him in ages. And why isn't my life, you know, normal? Like a lot of people where they go to a big house and there's a big turkey and everybody sits down. It's like the Norman Rockwell painting. I never had that. My parents split when I was three. They've been married four times and five times, nine times between them we always moved and we're all over the place. And I'm like, you know, I have my own family now and we don't have any place to go. Like, I don't even have anybody to invite over. I started thinking these thoughts Thursday or the third Thanksgiving morning, I just want to share this with you. And I started getting depressed. I'm like, maybe I should have flown down and spent it with my mom and sister and brother in law and my nephew. And why didn't I? And my wife got up and I was kind of grumpy with her. In fact, we got in a little bit of an argument because I was in a bad mood. And then all of a sudden, it just shows the power of your mind. Literally. I could have gone the whole day with that thought. Poor me, I'm not with my family, don't have the Norman Rockwell. My parents have been all over, I moved all over. We don't have anywhere to go. And like that I switched my mindset. Literally about 10:30, 11:00 in the morning, I switched my mindset. I said, what are you doing? For a second, thinking the negative. Whatever happened in my life to get me here right now is amazing because I love my kids, I love my life, I love what I do for a living. I love doing these blogs and sharing my information to help change your life. I love it. And I said, I get to start my own celebration, my own rituals, my own yearly gig today, right now. And I snapped out of those, thinking that thinking. And I went to AJ's, which is a grocery store, and I bought a turkey and yams and mashed potatoes and green bean casserole. I bought everything my mother and grandma used to make. I went home, my kids helped me cook. I made the biggest and most incredible Thanksgiving dinner for the four of us, my wife and two kids. That's what I did. And the rest of the day I was in an amazing mood, thinking, I have my children, I get to start something today. I still love my parents, but that was their life. They got to make their own decisions, I get to make mine. So when people tell me, well, you don't know my reality, Dean, reality is nothing more in your head. Because my reality could have been all day Thanksgiving. I could have sat on the couch, complained, moped around a little bit, watched football and been kind of grumpy and said, I'm sad, I don't have family. Or I could have taken action, flipped the switch, and I made it one of the best Thanksgivings I ever had. Now Think about that in your life if you're going down that wrong path. I shared something really personal. I'm sharing something with you that I probably don't even share with my family. My family probably learns things about me when they watch my blogs, including my wife and my mom, my dad, everybody. I'm sharing this with you for a reason. Because you could be going into the holidays sad. Money's tight, family's having troubles. Maybe you're going through a separation, a divorce, you're arguing with your kids. I don't know what it is. We all got our own stuff, right? But there's two ways you can look at it. Make your reality what you want it to be. Reality is not the outside circumstances. It's how we interpret and how we respond to them, how we think about them. How we think is what we get. If I would have thought the same thoughts are all day Thursday like I did in the morning, I would have had a horrible Thanksgiving. I changed my thinking, I changed my reality, and I had an amazing day. I hope you don't mind me sharing my personal story, but that's how I get better at what I do. And that's why I want to deliver it to you. Change your thinking, change your reality, change your perspective on things and have an amazing holiday. And be ready, because we are going to rock and roll in 2012. I have stuff coming that is going to knock your socks off, so be ready. I'm excited. Talk to you soon.
