Dean Graziosi spent an hour watching his son play Madden instead of the usual 15 minutes. His son opened up emotionally in a way he hadn't before. Sometimes listening, really listening, is what people need most.
Hey, everybody. Dean Graziosi. Welcome to the weekly wisdom. This is number 402. And today I want to talk about are you really listening? You know, this morning I did a live Facebook video with similar content. Hope you got to see it. If not, go to my Facebook page and watch it live. Is different than, you know, being outside of my home and doing it live for you guys, then coming here in the studio and really thinking it through. You get two different versions. But what I wanted to share about Are you really listening? Is something happened to me this weekend that really hit that home for me. You know, I'm always talking about the ability to get someone to listen to you, to learn from you, to love you, to buy from you, to respect you. Is the ability to let people feel understood, not just them understanding you. Think about that. People will learn from you when they feel understood. They not when they understand you. So many of us and so many people go around life and they want to share what's on their heart, share what's going on, share their thoughts, share their reasoning on why they do things or they do anything or why they're compelled for certain things or why they're inspired. But we forget in so many instances to listen, to understand where the other person's coming from. So are you really listening to the people around you, the people you work with, your spouse, your kids? And I want to tell you how it hit home this weekend. So my daughter has the same exact birthday as me. It's coming up here in a little bit. And her wish this year was to go with her mom to Chicago. Just a weekend girl trip. And I wanted to support that, and I did. So they went, having a great time. So it left me with my son Brody. We had our boys weekend, and it was so much fun. I had the time of my life. We bonded. But I want to tell you something. My son loves video games, loves him to death. And I only allow 15 minutes a day. That's just what it is. I know it's the future. I know it's. And I'm not afraid of the future. My thoughts are with him. He always wants to keep his mind busy. And I'm afraid that getting sucked into a virtual reality is going to make him miss the actual reality around him. And being more conscious and being social. I don't want to go to dinner and have the iPhone as his babysitter. Or when I feel like doing something else, just hand him an iPad. I work through that. So, long story short, I give him 15 minutes. Some days A half hour. So because I don't love the video games and I don't love him being obsessed with it, subconsciously, I got to disdain it and not like it. So when he does video games, he kind of hides or he won't tell me. Doesn't sneak extra time. He just go, dad's not a part of it. And I realize what a fool I am. I'm not listening to my son. He loves it. It's called Madden. The Madden app. It's Madden Football. And he's freaking damn good. So this weekend I did something completely different. Saturday morning we got up and he said, dad, can I have my 15 minutes? And usually I'd say, all right, go do your 15 minutes. I'll answer emails. I didn't. I said, bud, how would you like an hour? And he's like, what, dad, an hour? I said, yeah. And I said, but can I watch you and learn? And I sat next to him at the kitchen table and I watched my son come to life because of something he really enjoyed. He smiled from ear to ear. Dad, look how I choose this play. Look how I do this. You should get this app. And I watched him for. I could get emotional thinking about it, because I just blew him off for the last two years in that one area. And I spent an hour with him watching. And I want to tell you, we were so bonded this weekend. We had the. I literally am emotional right now. We had the best weekend of my entire life with my son. We laughed every minute, we joked every minute. And guess what? He barely talked about the video game for the rest of the weekend. I took that away by listening to him and letting him know he was understood. And we bonded on such a deep level. Now let me ask you, where in your life are you casting judgment using your mouth so people understand you rather than closing this and opening your ears and opening your heart. That's a really simple analogy with my son. I don't have those issues with my daughter. Her and I have the easiest relationship in the world. My son can tend to ice me down, literally. I do something a little sideways with his heart. He's just got this ability to tuck it down and not be close to me because I listened to him on the deepest level possible because he felt understood. And I'm repeating myself. And he's a 7 year old. I got the love and the respect and the bonding I was hoping for this weekend. So let me ask you, where in your life can you listen more? Where in your life can you let someone else feel understood. And in return, it'll open your heart and make you feel better while at the same time doing the same for them. That's my weekly wisdom for this 400 week after week for over 400 weeks. It's a pleasure and an honor to be here with you guys. We have some cool stuff coming. I know I've been pushing it off, but my new book's coming out. I can't wait to share that my DG family. I'm doing something special with you guys before it hits bookstores, before it hits Amazon, before it hits my new show with Larry King. I mean, it's going to be amazing. I'll let you guys in on it. I have new site. DG.com is going to be completely new soon. We have some other things we're launching. They're incredible. Can't wait to share it with everybody. We're going to watching. So be on the lookout. Please open every email you possibly can, especially through the month of November, because we will put you in the mood in the right space to make 2017 the best year of your life. I'm Dean Graziosi. Thanks for sharing. Remember, you can always get my book@deansfreebook.com deansfreebook.com, my older new York Times best sellers, but they're still amazing. Or if you're@dg.com, you can click right here on this page. Check us out on Facebook and tell your friends I'll talk to you soon.
