What I Learned From A Favorite Movie | Who Are You When No One’s Watching?

We need ammunition. We need horsepower. We need rocket fuel. We need the ability to hit the gas and go. Define what success looks like for you now. So think about that. We need. We need ammunition. We need horsepower. We need rocket fuel. We need the ability to hit the gas and go. Just think about this. I use silly analogies. When it's time, when things are uncertain, when the world shifts, when Covid happens, when there's race relations at a time and point where it needs a shift and it needs to be fixed, and the news is nothing but negative and everybody's fighting and polarized and there's. I mean, is there any gray or is it. They just show the opposite. There's either people who hate masks or must wear masks. There's either people who are really racist or not racist at all. There's people that are really liberal or really conservative. Oh, my God. Aren't most of us caring human beings that want the world to evolve and abolish the things that suck and unite and fix this together, don't we. Most of us feel like that, but that's not what we see. We see these extremes. And I think how we fix it is we just keep becoming a better version of ourselves. We fix these things in our families. We fix these things in our neighborhoods, when our friends. We don't settle for anything. That's not what we agree upon. And when we do that, no one has to come fix this. No one's going to save us. We're saving their asses, if you want to know the truth. We fix it from the ground up. And that's how we have the opportunity to keep evolving and keep growing. I know. I digress and I share that stuff, but I just know that a group of people like this, collectively, we can shift the world. And if we believe we can, we will. And if that's naive, then I'd rather be naive. But let's get back to this shift. Define what success looks like to you. Now, the reason I went on that rant is because the world, I believe, throws traps in our way. Throws things in our way. I'm going to digress again. I'm sorry, I'm just in a space today. You're my inner circle family. I don't follow a plan. I don't follow slides. I speak from my heart. There was a great movie. And before movies were easy to watch. Do you remember when you could first watch a movie on your laptop or your iPad and you downloaded them from itunes? Anybody remember that? When it wasn't so plentiful I'm talking maybe eight years ago, nine years ago, and I only had, like, two movies on my iPad. And every time I flew, I watched the same damn two or three movies, like, obsessively. And there was a movie with Matt Damon called the Adjustment Bureau, right? Anybody? I don't know if you ever saw the Adjustment Bureau. I love it. Check it out. It's a really great movie. I think I know it by heart because I used to fly a lot and I watch it so many times. Long story short, through the whole movie, it's kind of about God, kind of not. They call him the Chairman. These people that are the Adjustment Bureau, they're kind of angels, but not. And they. We have the illusion of free will, and if things are going the wrong way, they'll come in and kind of adjust. They're the Adjustment Bureau. They'll adjust the way the world goes. Long story short, the reason I'm telling you this, and it fits into what I'm sharing now, is at the end of the movie, Matt Damon and the girl he fell in love with that were supposed to be torn apart, but they couldn't handle it. They loved each other so much. They were soulmates. And if they were going to stay together, they were going to erase their brains. It was going to be over. And finally, at the end, one of the actors is up on a roof of a building in New York City with him. They ran out of room. They couldn't go anyplace else. They thought their lives were over. And they stopped and said, the chairman says, you guys can be together because it is true love. We can't keep you away from each other. And the plan has changed. Sometimes plan change, the Chairman gives you a blessing. And Matt Damon looks at the actor because the way he's talking, it's very like he's almost sharing it. And he looks at it and he goes, are you? And basically he's like, are you God? Are you the Chairman? And he says, oh, no, no. But you've met him. We all have. And that part of the movie has stuck with me for a decade. Right. Whatever your beliefs are, we all have different beliefs. But I love that point of, I'm not him. But you've met him. We all have. And I've taught my kids that, because it's that same thing of, what are you doing when no one's watching, right? You might be super nice when people are around, but when you see a homeless person or you see somebody in trouble and no one's watching, like, oh, that's annoying. That's gross. They stink or whatever it is. What if that was the day you had the chance to meet your maker? What if that was the day you met him or her? Right? And I try to think about that, and it keeps me in shape when no one's watching. It keeps me realizing that I want to be congruent in all things that I do. I want to be congruent. If my wife picks up my phone and went through 15 minutes of text, I want her to go, my husband's exactly the man I thought he was. I want to make it. So if my mic is on and this camera goes off, and I thought, you guys are done. And my team says, hey, how'd your day with inner circle go? I would love for you guys to hear me and go, shit, that was really nice. Not like, oh, these annoying people, they want so much from me, right? Like, I think about that shit. I really. Excuse my language, but I think about that all the time. Like, congruency is this magic. And I didn't always have congruency. I'm not saying it like I was magic and always perfect and give me a blue ribbon for being so great. I wasn't. And even in previous relationships, I wasn't congruent as I needed to be. But I'm at a point where I'm obsessing on it. So the reason I'm sharing that is when you think through that congruency of who you are, who you want to be, if you met your maker, who would you be? And what does success look like for you right this moment? Not what success looks like on social media for someone else you follow, that's their life. And I hope the success that they share with you and the happiness they share, I hope it's real. I don't look at people go, oh, that's B.S. they don't really love each other like that. I never do. When I look, I go, I hope it's real, but unfortunately, I know a lot of times it's not. I know my wife and I don't have an Instagram relationship. She's the love of my life. She's my best friend. Right? I didn't always have that in my life, but I do now. So the reason I say that is when you know what success looks like for you right now, in time. Not compared to the perfect Instagram story. Not to compare to who you thought or what you thought success was a decade ago. Not by the belief that your parents may have given you, even though they're amazing and lovely and incredible and they give you life. But their definition of success doesn't mean to be yours. The definition the world calls success doesn't need to be yours. The definition of the people you follow online doesn't need to be yours. What you need to do is define what success means to you right now in this time in history. Because we need these tools, guys. Things go sideways, people let us down. The deal doesn't work. The offer didn't convert, they didn't show up to your event, the book didn't sell. I don't know what it is, but things are going to go sideways. And those that know how to use the tools to get back up, brush off the dust, learn from it, and keep moving forward are the ones that succeed. The ones that succeed are the ones that don't give up. And how do you not give up? Have a compelling enough future that something drags you by the back of the shirt, gets you back on your feet, you dust it off and you go. And when you fail again, you dust off, you get up and you go. And some of us have to get up 10 different times. And I'm sorry, some of us might have to get up 30 times. Some people might only have two. But what if there's a bigger plan? And by design, someone knows that some of us have to fail 30 times. So we appreciate number 31, right? I call it success tax. But what if we have to take this journey? So if things are going to go sideways, if things are going to let you down, if you got to put the work in, then, man, I need strength. I need desire to pull me through. So nothing stops me. That's why I define success. Really simple for me, success at my life right now is basically going to my why. But success for me is be able to do what I want to do when I want to do it with my children and my wife, Sam.