Re-Writing the stories that ARE holding you back. EP #163 - Shorty

G' day, guys. Dan Lenny here on Tuesday 9th March, episode 163 of the how to Scale a Video Business Podcast.

In this shorty today, I'm going to share a really powerful exercise we've just gone through inside the VBA about rewriting stories that are almost certainly holding you back and how to identify them, accept them, and how you can choose to write a new story. So if you're interested at all in psychology, this is going to be awesome.

You know, we are driven by our stories.

Much of our behavior is.

Influenced by things that happen to us up until the age of seven.

I'm talking about, you know, things your parents or people who were around you might have said to you. Classic. Almost. My grandmother said, well, don't get too big for your boots, son. You know, no one likes a show off. And that's largely because they were working class. And in the working class world of EDINBURGH in the 70s, you know, no one didn't want it to stick out from their peer group. And so oftentimes what people do is they.

Kind of lower any expectation to fit in with their peer groups. And so what can often happen is that the people that you're hanging out with can actually be holding you back from achieving your business and life goals. And that's because nobody wants to be left behind. You know, when Sam and I moved to Australia in 2015, well meaning friends and family would say, oh, it's a long way to go from, you know, London, Essex to Australia. It's the other side of the world. It's like it's so far away. I could never leave my family. And what was actually happening was people's own fears were manifesting.

And I'm not here to judge anyone, but, but you have to be aware that other people will try and keep you down because if you rise above in business or in life, then, then they're left behind and that makes them feel uncomfortable. And you know, Sam and I are literally, we just, we just had our settlement called on our house down in the beach and we're about to move into our dream beach home.

And I'm certain people will be saying things like, oh, wow, you're so lucky. And, and actually luck's got nothing to do with it. We made a decision in 2012 to make this move and in 2015 we made the move and everyone, you know, around us was like, oh, I couldn't. You know, people, people will naturally share their apprehensions, their fears with you and you have to become kind of immune to it so the people you hang out with is very important. And we're lucky. In the video business accelerator, we have incredible human beings who are vulnerable and open and share and abundant and are abundant. And we just have this amazing session talking about, you know, the stories that hold us back. And these are businesses that are doing extremely well and who are coming in maybe doing 10 or 20 grand a month, and they're doing 40 or 50 grand a month within six to 12 months later. So, you know, there's a certain type of mindset that, that is required to achieve that kind of success. But the fact is it's possible. But what we have to be aware of is, you know, the fact that you might have a goal and a plan and desire.

But sometimes in fact you will self sabotage. That is just the human condition. And so what we have to do is understand how to overcome some of that sabotage. And.

The key to understanding that psychology is awareness. But it's not just enough to go, I'm aware, it's about being aware and taking the action. And part of that is understanding how our brain works and how our brain processes information. And the fact that.

Our reptilian brain, our croc brain, is instinctive. And that's the one that's always sort of on the hunt for danger. And so if there's danger, it will flood your body with blood into your muscles and get ready to run or fight. But that's a very binary, very basic kind of brain. It's a survival brain. From there, information is processed initially from a reptilian point of view. Then it's processed through the limbic brain, which is the emotional or feeling brain. I feel a threat, I'm in danger, how do I feel about that? Am I scared or am I ready to fight? But then finally it processes through the neocortex, which is the rational or thinking brain, which says, okay, maybe this isn't actually immediately threat to my life, maybe this is just something I'm feeling. And so whether or not that threat is real or imagined. So if you watch the television news and you read about the terrible stories that are happening in the world, your body doesn't know how to differentiate that from a real threat. And so there's a real danger of consuming the wrong kind of information. And when Covid hit last year, we had this big thing in our group where it's like, we're not watching the news, we're only going to influence what we can control. And so being very clear on that, it's very important understanding that where you get your information from, how you listen to will influence your outcomes. In our video business accelerator group, we have a lot of positive outcomes. Now it's not, it's not just about the positive. You know, we talk about vulnerabilities, we talk about when things aren't going so well, and we support our members through that process collectively and individually. But, but more importantly is when other people are doing well, it gives other members of the group hope that it's possible for them as well. Because what's stopping you from achieving more in your business and life is, is the stories that are running through your head. Because the stories act like comp code. The stories of the code that are driving your body, your mental system, your beliefs that you have act as filters. You filter the world through your belief systems. Your belief systems are built from childhood, from your parents, from your grandparents, from your family.

Your values. They also stemmed from your belief systems. And they become your motivations for doing the work that you do. And all of that contributes to your identity, which fuels your purpose. And so what's really important is that you understand that that is what's going on. But your ego can show up to protect you. And the ego's stubborn and the ego is determined. And so it shows up in deflection, denial, distortion, distraction, comparison, defense, justification, blame. Some of those things are what can influence you taking decisions or not taking decisions. And so when, when things like that happen, you know, you've got to be prepared for it. You've got to understand and develop a practice for overcoming those challenges. And so to develop psychological robustness, it's a bit like going to the gym. You kind of need to train it. And so you need to understand when the ego is showing up and respond to it in a way that allows you to say, oh, actually, okay, is this serving me? And you know, what are the current consequences of your current perspectives or stories or situation? The lens that you're viewing the world through, how is that influencing the work that you're doing? How is that influencing the outcomes you're getting? Because once you're aware of this challenge, then you need to become clear on what to do about it. And so what you can do is you can choose to write a new story. You could choose to write a story about how your business might look in 10 years time. And you could read that every day for 60 days, first thing in the morning, last thing at night. And that will create an embedded picture in your brain. Your neural pathways will start to believe the story is reading. So rather than read the news or reading some crap on some website, why not write your own story and, and read that story every day? Because it's a way of hacking the code. It's a way of hacking your brain so that you can rewire the system. And this is what's so powerful about.

Neuroplasticity and so powerful about quantum physics, is you can rewire your brain. And, and you know, I would argue that many businesses don't even consider this, and certainly very few video businesses. But, you know, if you want to be in the top 5% of performing video businesses around the world, you need to look at this stuff. And it's fascinating. It's so interesting. And, you know, it's the kind of thing that we talk about in the vba. It's not just about the business. It's about optimizing yourself. Because if you optimize yourself, your business will naturally become optimized.

You've been listening to the how to Scale a Video Business podcast with me, your host, Dan Lenny. If you're a video business owner that's hit a ceiling and we benefit from mentorship, support and coaching, then check out how you can work with me over@denlenney.com don't forget to subscribe and rate the show over on itunes or and we'd really appreciate you taking a few minutes to leave a review. And don't forget to share. If you feel you've gotten value from this episode and you think it would be useful for other filmmakers you know, then please do me a massive favor and share it on social media and in groups that you might be in. So thanks for listening. See you in the next episode.