These Stories Keep You From Success - FDDTC #43

What's up, guys? Devin Zander here. From delivery driver to CEO podcast, where we talk about mindset shifts that can take regular everyday folk like you and me. I was delivery driver to a successful entrepreneur, CEO, whatever you want to call it. And today we're going to be talking about the stories we tell ourselves and how they affect our ability to generate wealth or success or happiness or really anything. And anytime you try to do something new, you're going to have preconceived notions about that thing and about your ability to achieve that thing, Right? So let's think of the world of success or making more money or whatever. A lot of different stories that people tell themselves. Something along the lines of, I don't have the time or I'm not technical enough, or I don't have a business degree. And typically to which my response to those questions are, is everyone has the same amount of time. It's about how you use it. You just don't want to stop watching Netflix because you love Love Island. You love. You know, I don't even know if Love Island's on Netflix, but you love reality TV or you love his and hers, that new show that's popping off, right? People say I'm not technical. Well, guess what? Nobody was technical until they took these steps to become technical. People say, I don't have a business degree. Dude, most people don't have business degrees. A lot of successful people online these days are all dropouts, including myself. Hey. And I don't really know if that's something to be proud of, but it is what it is. So the stories we tell ourselves really hold ourselves back. And. And what it does is you may see something that really excites you, or you get really excited about something, and then you reach your first roadblock, okay? And you're like, I knew this would happen. I'm just not technical enough. I should have known better. I should have stayed in my lane. What was I thinking trying to do this? I'm not tech, you know what I mean? And the reality is, is anything that you do in life is going to be uncomfortable. If it's worth doing, it'll probably be uncomfortable. Okay? Nobody goes into the business or decides to change their life completely or lose weight or whatever, and it's just smooth sailing. Okay? One of the things that have really held me back in my business, where there was a few. But one of the big things is realizing that I don't know everything. I used to tell myself that I really didn't want to take advice from People other than myself, because I was like, well, I've been doing this for so long, I know how it works. I, you know, these guys haven't made as much money as I have doing this or whatever. And it turned out that that was like one of the biggest things that was holding me back in my career. And it was all because of ego, right? Like, why do we tell ourselves these stories? It's because we're trying to protect our ego, at least in my instance. And basically after I got divorced, I realized like the way that I saw the world in the way that I thought things were, clearly were not that way. Okay, so it was time to do a bit of a reset and review everything in my life. And one of the things I learned is that I really should start approaching things, including relationships, including business, including friendships, with a very curious and open mind. Be willing to accept new things. Be willing to accept maybe that I'm wrong. Maybe be willing to accept that the way I do things isn't the best thing to do things. Maybe just because this is the way we've always done it is the dumbest thing anyone could have ever said in humanity because then we'd have no new innovation ever. And the only constant thing in life is change. So for me, I had to be willing that things do change. There are other ways. Sometimes they're better, sometimes they're not. But you don't know until you test. Now I'm curious. I want you to consider, what stories are you telling yourself that are holding you back from succeeding with your business? Is it that you're not technical? Is it that you're not smart enough and realizing that both of those things are just lack of information. You can solve both of those with a little know how, realize that we all came out of the womb and pretty dumb, okay? Didn't know how to walk, didn't know how to feed ourselves, did not do anything. We learned those things over time. Extreme example, yes, but nobody gets into business with all the answers. They don't. You know how many softwares I use when I, I had no idea what the I was doing. I'm just like, maybe if I press this, maybe if I press that, maybe if I do this, this, this, this, that, and I'll figure it out. And you do. That's the thing you do. But when you tell yourself I'm not technical, then your mind says, why try? Why try in the first place? I'm not technical, I won't figure this out. Or if you say I don't have enough Time. Guess what? You're going to ensure that you don't have enough time. The thing about the stories we tell themselves is they're self fulfilling prophecies. Everything in life is changeable, okay? Every situation is changeable. If you don't have enough time, you can change that. If you're not technical, you can change that. And it's easier than ever because of all of the free information we have on YouTube, not to mention of course, our great coaching programs and things like that. But knowledge is everywhere, okay? You're not smart enough. I don't believe that. Okay, well, I mean the biggest thing that we could do, that it's going to hurt us. I probably make these like grand statements a lot. The biggest thing, the greatest thing. But one of the worst things that we can do is just tell ourselves these stories that hold us back. We rob ourselves of a better future before we even had a chance. You set yourself up for failure by telling yourself that you're too old or you're too young, or you're not smart enough, or you're not charming enough, or she'll never go out with me, she's too hot. Or he'll never be interested in me, I'm not interesting enough. Like the stories we tell ourselves rob you of ever having a chance. You'll never get the girl, you'll never build the business, you'll never have the kids if you tell yourself these stories in your head that give you no chance to even start. And in my opinion, it's all just formed out of anxiety. We tell ourselves these stories because we're anxious about what might happen if we try and especially if what might happen when we try and we fail and we want to save ourselves from that pain. So we say, fuck it, I'm too old, I'm too dumb, I'm too ugly, I'm not smart enough, blah, blah, blah. All these things we tell themselves just because we're scared of what happens if it doesn't work out. But the biggest thing you have to realize. There it is again, I said it. The biggest thing, the greatest thing. I'm like Donald Trump. Well, honestly, the biggest thing I don't. I'm not good at Trump voices, but we have to let ourselves try. We have to realize things won't always go right, but we can always figure it out. Maybe next podcast I'll tell you guys a little story about my divorce. Let me know like in the comments if that would interest you. I had no idea I was going to figure some shit out. I'm going to be completely transparent with you. I called the suicide hotline. I was just like my life was falling apart. My wife left me. I was trying to figure out how to keep a business alive when I didn't feel like working. And everything I knew was crumbling around me and I had to start over from scratch. It was terrifying. I told myself stories. I said, I'll never be able to love again. I said, I'll never be able to build a business. I don't know how. When it was all right there. I had years of history. We still had successful businesses running, but for some reason, because my entire world was shook up, I convinced myself that I was unable to be happy or to be profitable in business or to find a partner or even to maintain friendships. I told myself people don't like me. I told myself I'm not good enough. None of these stories are true. You have to have faith in yourself. I believe in you. I believe in every single one of you who aren't super fucking negative. Some people, you just. You literally can't help. Sadly, my dad is kind of one of those people. I wish I could do more to help him see all the good in the world, but some people just don't. All that being said, guys, sorry if this one was a bit of rambling. It was just something that I was thinking about because I was. I have a friend. I won't name him, but he's always right. He's always right. He thinks he's always right. That's the thing. He comes to me, Devin, why don't people take me seriously in business? Devin, why does my business not working out? He has to borrow money from me. He has to borrow money from friends. And I realize that he tells himself a story and his story is that he can never be wrong. He's always right. Doesn't matter what we do. Doesn't matter if we're playing games together. Doesn't matter if we're talking about anime. Doesn't matter if we're talking about business. He's always right. He's unwilling to be wrong. And then he gets aggressive and confronts you if you call him out, you know. And I realized I don't want to be friends with that guy. But I was thinking about it and I was thinking about how our businesses are literally, we just had one of our best years ever. And it's because I dropped that. I dropped the need to know it all. I dropped that story that I'm some smart, omnipotent, omni. Omniscient, whatever being who knows everything. And I'm just a guy who's figuring it out. Just like you. Just a guy who's figuring out. And if you power through, even when things are tough, even when things are confusing and accept that your stories are just made up by yourselves, you are good enough. You are technical enough. You can figure it out. You can power through. Anyways, all that being said, 10 minutes in Devin Zander From Delivery Driver to CEO podcast. See you guys next week. Gonna try to publish on Mondays. And let me know in the comments what you thought if it sucked, if I should get a new dog, if I should just go walk into a dark hole, never come out again until I go blind. Whatever. I'll see you guys later.