10 Tips and Strategies for Increasing Motivation in People with ADHD

Hey there everybody and welcome to this three part series on addressing ADHD. This is part one motivating the person with ADHD I'm your host, Dr. Donnellice Snipes. In this segment we're going to identify current points to remember about ADHD and people with adhd. We'll learn how to help motivate a person with ADHD and identify ways to get someone with ADHD started even without motivation. Other Related videos if you're interested in the ADHD topic, include Diagnosis of ADHD with the DSM 5tr ADHD treatment strategies addressing ADHD part two goals and strategies and addressing ADHD part three more goals and Strategies Foreign it's important to note that boys are often diagnosed with ADD three times more frequently than girls. This is because in girls the disorder typically presents as inattentive or dreamy. The people who are biologically female may tend to stare out windows or drift off mid conversation versus being hyperactive. It's also important to remember that giftedness and ADHD can co occur and actually often do so. The person who's gifted, their brain moves really quickly, if you want to think about it that way, and so they may have more difficulty being still because their brain is going so fast. They also may have more difficulty not blurting because they've solved the problem before everybody else and they want to just kind of move on with things. It's important to differentially diagnose ADHD from bipolar, anxiety and complex post traumatic stress disorder. There are a lot of symptom overlaps between ADHD and CPTSD as well as bipolar and anxiety. So it's important to examine when did the symptoms begin? And especially with cptsd. If there is a notable trauma, then you want to say did the symptoms exist prior to that trauma? The brains of people who are gifted operate faster than non gifted, which can lead to interrupting in addition to faster movement. As I already said, things to remember about people with adhd. ADHD is not a character flaw. ADHD is just different. It's different wiring. ADHD recovery is a team effort. If a person wants to address the symptoms that are causing them difficulty with integrating with neurotypical friends and and family members, then it's going to require everybody to understand what's going on. ADHD does respond well to medication. However, pills do not give skills. Medication may help the person slow down and not be bombarded by as much stimulus, but it doesn't help them become assertive. It doesn't help them become suddenly more organized. It doesn't help them with a lot of those things. So what the medication does is lay the foundation so the person can more effectively learn. It's important when you're living with somebody with ADHD or if you've got adhd, to keep an inventory of the things the person does right. So often people with adhd, whether they are children or adults, are receiving criticism and negative feedback because they've made a mistake or they forgotten something or what have you. And sometimes that may even come from their own internal critic. It's important to start balancing out those mistakes or problems with noticing what they're also doing right, what their strengths are. People with ADHD may experience stress that results in emotional dysregulation from a young age as a result of sensory sensitization and gating issues. What they found is even in infants who go on to develop or be diagnosed with adhd, that they have certain sensory responses that are often different than that of the person who doesn't develop adhd. The infant will be exposed to a stimulus and will respond strongly to that stimulus. Now, an infant that is does not have ADHD will eventually habituate to the stimulus. So let's take a dog barking. The first time the dog barks, the child may startle. And then the next time the dog barks, the child probably won't startle as much. They'll start to get used to it. The child with ADHD doesn't develop that habituation to the stimulus. So every time the dog barks, it's the same startle all over again. And that is exhausting on the HPA axis. It's also important to recognize that people with ADHD have what we call sensory gating issues. The sensory gate is what helps us filter out the irrelevant stimuli from the important stimuli. Think about if you're, when you go to the airport, for example, the hustle and bustle and people here and you've got to pay attention to where you're walking and the stuff that you have and everything else. It can feel really overwhelming. Or maybe if you're in a preschool class and you're trying to assist the teacher and you've got to keep track of 25 children, whatever situation feels overwhelming and emotionally or over bombarding with stimuli. That is what it's like for a person with adhd. Their brain has difficulty filtering out what is important to pay attention to at this point in time. For children when they're growing up and they're just constantly being bombarded, think about how overwhelming and stressful that must be. We know that continued Exposure to stress results in emotional dysregulation, results in changes in the HPA axis responsivity. So the person may go from flat to furious. They may have a stronger reaction to stressors than someone who has a well functioning HPA axis. People with ADHD often also have insecure attachment and that is probably going to be another video that I do in the future. But it's important to recognize that a lot of times parents who are or caregivers who are raising children with ADHD don't realize that they have adhd. Therefore they are providing feedback and criticism and punishment. When the child is being hyperactive, when the child is not following directions, when the child is making mistakes, etc, the child is internalizing that as I'm bad. The child is feeling completely overwhelmed and doesn't know how to do any better because they are functioning in a different mental environment than the rest of than than their caregivers are. Because they are functioning in this overwhelmed over stimulated environment without the skills and tools they can't do better. When they don't do better they continue to receive criticism, they internalize that and they don't feel safe, they don't feel accepted, they don't feel sometimes loved which can lead to the development of insecure attachment. People with ADHD find it hard to demonstrate what they know to somebody else. Many times people with ADHD and this is also true about having difficulty getting into their wise mind to notice nuances and choose the best response. People with ADHD often don't see the nuances and may not be able to teach the nuances. So they're teaching how to do how to paint with big broad strokes instead of teaching all of the nuances between, you know, using a small brush or a big brush or oil paints versus acrylics or I'm not much of a painter but they overlook that they, they move in big steps. So it's important to recognize that people with ADHD that is uncontrolled may have more difficulty teaching other people. It doesn't mean they can't do it. It means they may have to stop and write down what they're going to teach to make sure they don't miss the instructions. Same thing with noticing nuances and choosing the best response. It's important for them to often retroactively reflect on what happened and then think okay, how is this similar to or different from other situations and what could I do differently the next time? And we're going to talk about this more in the next sections but for now let's talk about how to motivate the person with adhd. The person with adhd, remember, is often stressed, is often being bombarded with all these stimuli and has difficulty prioritizing what's important. When you have difficulty prioritizing what's important, it's hard to get motivated to do any one thing because everything is sort of calling your intent, calling your attention. But motivation is essential for a person with adhd. The importance of a task and the rewards of completing it don't necessarily motivate them to get it done. Why is that? Well, it could be for some people that there may be an important task and there may be rewards for completing it, but they don't feel confident in their ability to do it. So that fear of failure, that fear of rejection holds them back. It could be that they have difficulty. You know, they see the importance of this task and it's so overwhelming and it's such a big task, they don't know where to start. So there's a lot of reasons that a person with ADHD may see the importance of the task and the rewards, but still not be motivated. Embracing deeply held values or things that are important can help the individual with ADHD get things done and stay focused. So by completing this, this shows that you are a good employee. I don't know. Okay. If that's a deeply held belief, well, great. It's something that is really important to you. It's important to your values to show that you are dedicated. So let's figure out how to make that happen. An improved sense of confidence also can help with motivation. Having the person look back at similar situations that they have similar successfully accomplished. Helping the person come up with a plan that they can look at and go, yeah, okay, I can do that can also help them get motivated. If they feel confident that they can do it, then they're going to be more likely to be motivated. Remember, the person with ADHD has often, rightly or wrongly, been criticized and experienced a lot of failures and rejections that were probably not necessary had they had the appropriate interventions. Other motivation prompts what excites you or recharges your batteries? Think about a time in your past when completing a similar type of task wasn't so hard. What was different and how could you do that now? So if they've done something similar in the past and were able to do it, maybe they weren't as over tired, maybe they weren't as over committed, maybe they were thinking about it in a different way. You know what was different? How can you break this task down into three pieces so it feels more manageable. How will you reward yourself when you complete this? What needs to change? And I love this one. What needs to change to turn your should into a want instead of I should do the laundry. I want to do the laundry. Well, I should do the laundry because it's dirty. I want to do the laundry because there's an outfit in there that I want to wear next week. So a shoulder is stressful. You know, most of us don't like shoulds. It's like, h, I should do this, but I don't really want to. A want identifies a reason to do it. What negative selft talk can you let go of? A lot of people with ADHD have over the years internalized those messages that they got from other people. You never finish things that you start. You always make careless mistakes. Bl blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So we hear a lot of extreme language, a lot of always, a lot of nevers. And those messages that they received formed schemas that they internalized. Now they use those schemas to anticipate what's going to happen. Why should I start this? Because I always make careless mistakes and I never finish anything that I start. Well, that's kind of demotivating. So we need to look at some of those internal tapes that people have programmed over the years and figure out how to reprogram them. And look at, okay, maybe they haven't finished much of anything. They've started a lot of things and not finished. Okay, maybe that is true. But why? What would have helped them finish those tasks along the way? And that is often the issue for the people with adhd. They don't finish because they get overwhelmed, they get distracted, they get criticism, something like that. It's not that they didn't want to do it. So if we can't find exceptions, if we can't find times when the people actually did follow through and finish things, we can look at the things they didn't finish through and say, what? Finish? And. And ask ourselves, what would have helped you complete this? What kept you from completing this? What about this task is important or meaningful to you? Now remember, just because it's important or meaningful doesn't mean they're going to get motivated. If they have this underlying fear of failure or rejection or. But it is important to put it out there. Okay, it's important or meaningful for this reason, which may motivate you to address the underlying fears. When is the best time for you to do this task? Just like anybody else, people with ADHD have high energy, high focus times, and not so good times. So when is the best time for people to do particular tasks? For me, I do my cognitively intensive work in the morning. In the evening, you know, well, for me, after 12 noon, I do a lot better with physical activities. Whether it's cleaning house or going to the gym or cooking or those sorts of things. The cognitively intensive stuff I've got to do when I'm fresh. What support do you have to get this task done? Support is going to look different for different people. Some people need a cheerleader, you know, somebody that's going to work with them to provide scaffolding, to provide support when they get to a stuck point. Other people may need a coach that can check in on them and make sure that they're continuing on. Some people will need just some quiet, undisturbed time so they can get it done. Which means they need people, people in their lives that can do the other stuff so they can focus on this task. So what support do you need and what support do you have to get this task done? What obstacles are preventing you from completing this task and which ones can you eliminate? Now remember, obstacles are things that get in your way. It doesn't mean you can't get over them, around them, under them, through them. You just have to face, figure out a workaround. So what obstacles are preventing you from completing this task? And finally, how can you make this task fun, interesting, or enjoyable? Now, some things, like one of the things I'm working on right now is our renewals for the CEUs for, for next year. And that is probably my least favorite task in existence. However, when I'm working on it, I put the television on and put a show on that doesn't require a lot of attention, but it amuses me. And so I have that on in the background so it doesn't feel as much like work or, I don't know, it makes it a more pleasant environment for me. I also tend to have coffee when I'm doing something that I really don't like. I will use my favorite decaf coffee, which tends to be more expensive than, than the daily coffee. In order to reward myself and make it more enjoyable, I'm like, okay, well if I'm, if I do this, then I can have that, that special coffee. So what can you do? Some of these are little, just tricks that you're playing with yourself, but whatever it takes. People with ADHD forget the purpose of their tasks, so they may be uninspired to finish them. They may start on a task, whatever that task is and forget the ultimate goal because they start getting focused on the task and then 17 other things having a vision board can be really helpful for people with ADHD to maintain their motivation. What is it that you are working toward for this task? Imagining the negative consequences of not doing something is not a potent motivator for people with adhd. They already are aware and have experienced negative consequences. So all you're doing is ramping up their stress and ramping up their hypervigilance and increasing their distractibility and increasing their difficulty concentrating. So what we need to do is help them create a sense of safety and confidence and a strategy, not increase their discomfort. Imagine how great it will feel to get your goal works better and add visual reminders of the goal, including daily creative visualization. One hint is to put a medication reminder app on your phone will send you push notifications at the same time each day and remind you to do your creative visualization for getting that task done or handling that issue. If you are working on a report for school or for work, envisioning getting it done, whatever you're doing that day, that chapter can be very, very helpful. And then how good you're going to feel once you get that chapter done and handed to your boss or to your instructor. Instead of saying to yourself, I need to get these applications done for college or I need to get this report done, try thinking of about how awesome it will be when you get when you achieve your goal or when you finish this and finally start moving toward the things that are important to you. How great it will it feel when you've been accepted to a college or you've gotten a promotion and can see how your hard work paid off. So these are the goals that you're going to have on that vision board. You're going to see your promotion. You're going to see yourself as a happy person. Now getting started, even when you're unmotivated, can be really difficult. It's kind of like moving my donkey when she doesn't want to be moved. The first step is just to get started, get up and do it. And whether you have ADHD or not, this can be helpful, I find, for doing things like doing things outside when it's really hot. I dread it. Once I get out there. I don't mind it so much, but having to put on all that sunscreen and everything else is just. I'm like, really? That's just more than I can deal with right now. But Getting Started Just getting up and putting one foot in front of the other can help you get a task done. Create urgency. Maybe set a time deadline so you need to get this done so you can go out with friends tonight. Keep a list of must dos and schedule them in on your calendar. Like when are you going to do your bills, when are you going to do your dishes, when are you going to do your homework? Etc that having that scheduled in can be really helpful because it reminds you of what you need to get started on. Don't put too much stuff in one day. If you look at your calendar and there's 15 things that you must do that you must get started, you're probably just going to close your calendar and be completely overwhelmed. Spread it out. Work with a buddy if there are things that you don't want to do. Sometimes misery loves company if it is doing your laundry or doing your taxes. Finding a friend that you can do it with either in real life or virtually can be helpful. Reward yourself. Take whatever task you're working on, break it into chunks, and after each chunk, provide yourself with a reward. Whether it is watching an episode of your favorite show or going out to dinner with a friend. Whatever it is that works for you. Start with the goal of good enough. Remember I said a lot of times people with ADHD have received a lot of criticism because of, quote, careless mistakes. Well, yes. However, they were doing the best they could. Starting with the goal of good enough helps the person not start it and begin dreading before they even get started. Begin dreading the mistakes they're going to make and the criticisms they're going to receive. The first step is to get through. Think of it like a rough draft. Start with the goal of good enough. Then you can go back and revise it after that. And as I mentioned earlier, work during your peak times. If you know that you've got to do something that is cognitively draining, you know, mentally draining, when is your peak time to do that? And make sure that you set aside that time to work on that particular task. ADHD is a neuropsychological condition. It's not somebody who just chooses not to pay attention or chooses to be careless in their work. It is a neuropsychological condition, and we know that there are structural differences in the brains of people with adhd. Creating safety and solutions instead of stress and strain can help the person with ADHD feel more motivated if they feel like they can do this task, and even if it's not perfect, they're not going to get rejection or a bunch of criticism that's going to help them feel safer. If they feel like they've got somebody that's going to support them and help them along the way to do this task, that may make them feel more secure in taking those steps. Kind of like when you learn to ride a bike and you had somebody holding on to the back of the bike at first so you wouldn't fall and skin your knee. Identify the blocks to motivation, such as being overwhelmed, break it into chunks, a lack of confidence. Figure out how to develop that. Or if it's just not rewarding, you know you're looking at it going, I don't want to do that. Identifying these blocks to motivation and figuring out how to address them can help you develop mo motivation and momentum.