15 Tips for Overcoming and Coping with Trauma | Trauma Recovery

Good morning, everybody. I would like to welcome you to today's live discussion. We are going to be talking about strategies for recovery from the impact of past trauma. I AM your host, Dr. Donnelly Snipes. The first thing we want to look at is the impact of past trauma. A lot of people aren't aware of how many different ways that trauma impacts them, so we're going to go over those really quickly. The first thing that trauma impacts is our sense of safety and ability to trust. It impacts our trust in ourselves. You know, when we go through a trauma, sometimes we start questioning ourselves and saying, you know, did I make all the right choices? Did I do the right thing? Can I even protect myself? And it also impacts our trust in others because others may have contributed to whatever that trauma was. Or just the way others respond to us after a trauma may sometimes be invalidating or make it more difficult to trust those people. So we want to recognize that it impacts one of the core issues of our being, and that is our sense of ability to trust. The second is safety. And safety in the environment is obviously an issue regardless of whether the trauma is interpersonal, such as from abuse or neglect or victim, crime victimization, or it's from a natural disaster like a fire, a hurricane, or a tornado. After a trauma, it becomes difficult for a lot of people to feel safe, to feel like they are physically safe in their environment. It also becomes difficult for some people to be safe from their inner critic, because our inner critic, that inner voice, often tells us, shoulda, coulda, would us what I should have done in the. To prevent this from happening. Or it might be saying, you're broken now. You're damaged. Nobody's going to want you. And it's important that we look at what our inner critic is saying in response to the experience of that trauma and address it. And. And, well, we'll talk about how to move from one of criticism and feeling like a victim to one of hope and empowerment. And we. When we get to the next slide, the third area that is impacted by past trauma includes our HPA axis. And y' all know I talk about this a lot. The HPA axis is our threat response system. Okay? In a trauma, our HPA axis is kicked off. It just, you know, bam, we go into fight ORF flight mode. That is great. We want that to happen. However, after a trauma, if we are persistently feeling unsafe and disempowered, if we are persistently having difficulty trusting ourself and others and feeling safe in the environment, that HPA axis stays turned on and when that happens, it starts a cascade of problems that lead to stress related illnesses like hypertension, obesity, in some cases difficulty sleeping, mood disorders, emotional dysregulation, which is basically a fancy term for saying you feel kind of flat, you feel kind of blah, or you may even feel kind of okay. But when something bad happens, you react to the extreme. You become really, really upset, really, really incensed. There's no middle ground. You're either okay or you're on fire. And addiction is another consequence of persistent HPA axis activation. Now, I talk a lot in other videos that are on the channel about the HPA axis and the impact on our mood and our health and those things. Didn't want to spend a whole lot of time in this video because I really, since we're doing a short form video, I really wanted to get to the okay, what can I do about it Part. And I do thank you. Determined and motivated for the contribution. I appreciate that. All right, coping with past trauma. What do we do? Y' all know I like my acronyms. I just think it's easier to remember. I know, I remember Linehan's distress tolerance skills a lot easier. When I think improves and accepts, you know, I, I can remember those things easier and I can go through and say, all right, yes, I'm doing this, this, this and this. So the first one to address trust is, the acronym is AM chore. And I know that doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but sometimes it feels like a chore to recover. You know, maybe you can remember it that way, but it's amchore. The first is to improve our sense of trust in ourself. And that is, begins with authenticity and mindfulness. Mindfulness being, you know, staying aware of how you feel and what you need and what your perceptions are in the present moment. Not minimizing how you feel, not going on autopilot, but being aware of, of how you're feeling. Whether that means you are being triggered, whether that means you're exhausted, whether that, whatever it means just being aware of it, accepting it non judgmentally and living authentically. If you're having a bad day, accepting that non judgmentally and saying, okay, what do I need to do? Paying attention to what your, I call them, your spidey senses, what your gut is telling you. And for me, that is sort of the core of authenticity. Being mindful and paying attention to my gut and living authentically. If my spidey senses tell me, you know, this is probably not a good situation, then being authentic, I am going to extract myself. You know, other people may not have an issue with it, but if it's making me uncomfortable, it's important for me to, to be able to feel empowered, to protect myself. Chore reflects improving trust in others. And that really stems back to those characteristics that are common and are needed for effective attachment. Consistency. We need to be in relationships with others who are consistent. So you want to look, instead of looking for inconsistency, look for consistency in people's behaviors and try to form a support network of people who are consistent. Not everybody can be consistent because they got their own stuff, and I get that. But it is important to have people in your life who are consistent, who are honest with you, with others, with themselves. You, you know that that's really important. It's important to have people in your life that are not only consistent and honest, but communicate openly with you. They don't hold things back and, you know, they have an opinion, but they don't tell you. And then six months later they go, oh, yeah, well that, this is what I actually thought. Well, that's, that's not being honest and that's not being open. Being able to have open communication and open dialogue, even if your opinions differ, is important. Reliability. Knowing that you can trust someone, and that's kind of similar to consistency. Consistency means we can. We know what to expect from somebody. Reliability means that if they say they're going to do something, we know they're going to do it. If we can count on them being on being there for us, they're reliable. And then E stands for empathy. We certainly want to be in relationships with people who can empathize. They don't have to agree with us, but it's important that, that we can empathize with them and that they can empathize with us. That means we can understand where they're coming from. I had a professor when I was in graduate school who gave the analogy of empathy, and it made so much sense to me. He said, sympathy is standing at the top of a well that somebody is trapped in and looking down and going, hmm, must be really cold down there. Sucks to be you. Empathy is strapping on that repelling gear and going down there with them. Now you've got the repelling gear on so you can get out. You're not stuck down there too, but you're going down there with them and experiencing it as they are experiencing it. So you're understanding a little bit more. Some people say walking a mile in another shoes, however you want to conceptualize it but empathy is important, and these characteristics are important for us as well as the people that we surround ourselves with. So, just to summarize, to help build trust, we need to be authentic and mindful in ourselves, and we need to develop relationships with ourselves and others that are characterized by consistency, honesty, open communication, reliability, and empathy. Once we start to trust, we're going to start feeling a little safer, I hope. But what else can you do to improve your sense of safety? Remember trauma? Two of the things that happen. Two of the main things that happen with trauma is it strips people of their sense of safety, and it often strips them of their sense of power. So we want to help people feel empowered and feel safe. Once they can start feeling like they can trust others, that's part of the safety, but they also need to feel safe in their environment. And that's going to be different for every person and every trauma out there. And, you know, you can start identifying when you're mindful, you can start identifying sights, smells, sounds, times of day, you know, people, places, and things that trigger not only your sense of trauma or unsafeness, but your sense of safety. You want to add triggers in your environment that enhance your sense of safety. For me, it's my dogs. You know, I don't like being home at night. I don't like being home alone, you know, at night. And that's just one of my, you know, remaining triggers from trauma in my childhood. But having my dogs, there is a. Is something in my environment that helps me feel safer because I know that ain't nobody going to mess with my boxer. So that helps me feel safe and helps me relax. And that is so important to getting good sleep and tamping down that HPA axis so it's not an overdrive all the time. Safety from your inner critic is another issue that we need to address. And it's important when you notice your inner critic is telling you you have no power, that you're not safe, or that something else is wrong, that you check it out. You know, you want to make sure that something actually isn't threatening right then. But most of the time you check it against the facts and you say, you know what? No, I am not broken. I am not powerless. I am not helpless. Talk back to that inner critic. And if you can't, because you're in a meeting or whatever, sometimes it happens, just stop that thought. And it's way easier said than done. Don't get me wrong, but. And we've talked about this many times before, I will actually kind of use my hand sometimes and I'm like, no, not going to think about that right now. And it took time and a lot of practice to kind of get hold of some of the, that monkey mind and some of those thoughts. But it does. You do start to get control of it to a certain extent at a certain time. The second acronym that I want to talk about is scores. And remember I said earlier, when that HPA axis is constantly activated when you're hypervigilant, when you're scared, scanning the environment for threats all the time. Well, not only is that keeping you revved up, but it's also usually keeping you from noticing the positive. You are hyper alert to the negative and hypo alert, if you want to put it that way, to the positive stuff. So we want to help you figure out how to reregulate that HPA axis, that threat response system. It's important for feelings are important, but having persistent negative feelings is going to contribute to a whole host of problems. Sleep is the first thing. I guess I'll go through the entire acronym and then we'll go back through it. Sleep, cognitive restructuring, positive thoughts, oxygen, relaxation, eating and supportive relationships. So let's go through each one of those really quick and then I will start taking some of your questions about this. Why is sleep important? Well, when the body is deprived of sleep, it perceives that as a threat. It perceives that as something wrong. So it activates the HPA axis. When the body is deprived of sleep and the HPA axis is activated, your body dumps a bunch of excitatory neurochemicals and blood sugar that helps you feel more awake. Which, you know, in the short run kind of is good because you want to be awake, but in the long run it's not healthy. And we've seen that there is a significant correlation between sleep deprivation and a whole host of mood as well as physical disorders, cognitive restructuring, which in this case really means positive thoughts. And it's important to remember that we can have negative things in our life. It happens. You know, unpleasant things happen, but it's also important to look at, okay, this is going on over here, it's unpleasant. What is going on right in my life. Force yourself to look at both sides of it. You know, you can acknowledge the unpleasant, but also don't forget to look around and force yourself to notice the present. There have been studies that have found that if people focus for as little as 15 to 20 minutes a day on what went right that day, it actually reduces anxiety and reduces mood symptoms and reduces Cortisol levels. So consider setting aside a time, whether it's on your. When you're driving to work, when you're driving home from work before you go to bed at night, or maybe even at dinner with your family. A time when you can just spend 20 minutes saying, okay, all we're going to talk about right now is what's positive, what's going right. We can talk about the other stuff later, but this is our happy window. Oxygen is so important for keeping people energized and for helping us relax when we are oxygen deprived. You know, our body doesn't like that. That's, you know, perceived as a problem. We can't survive without oxygen. It's important to remember to breathe. And when we are stressed, we tend to breathe rapidly and shallowly and our heart rate responds by increasing. When we force ourselves to breathe deeply and slowly, our heart rate actually naturally reduces, which is kind of cool. They call it the rest and digest reaction. Remembering when you are doing your mindfulness activities and you're noticing that you're feeling a little edgy, that one of the things that you can do is breathe in for four, hold for four and out for four. Which takes us to relaxation. All fun and no play makes Jack a dull boy. I don't know who came up with that phrase, but they've been saying it since the 1950s. I think it's important that we do more than just eliminate the negative. You've got to add in the positive. You've got to do things that actually promote those happy chemicals, promote happy feelings, encourage you to notice the positive and that will look different for different people. Relaxation can be things like massage that help people feel physically relaxed and get that GABA and. And some of those other chemicals flowing. Serotonin increases, dopamine increases because it's a positive feeling. It's relaxation, you know, that's a good thing. Some people relax by going on a hike or whatever it is that you do. But things that you do that you enjoy that help you relax will help increase dopamine, will help increase serotonin and, and gaba, which will help counteract the stress in your life, which is very important. Eating nutrition didn't fit here because n just didn't work. So I said eating what you eat is broken down to make your neurochemicals. If you eat like crap, you'll feel like crap. That's, you know, a very simple way of putting it. It's important to eat a relatively healthy diet. And I'm not talking about, you know, Going, you know, super extreme on anything. I'm just talking. Try to have two or three colors on your plate at every meal. Make sure you're getting enough water because your synapses communicate. Your, your nerve system communicates in a fluid environment. If you're dehydrated, guess what stuff's going to start not working quite as well. Overly simplified, but you get my point. So be hydrated, make sure that you're getting enough nutrition, including enough protein, because protein is what those neurotransmitters are made of. But they need things like calcium, iron, magnesium, calcium in order to do the chemical reaction that breaks those proteins down and makes them into neurotransmitters. So protein alone is not enough. You need a healthy, well rounded diet and that will look different for different people. And stimulant reduction, nicotine, caffeine. And even if you are one of those people who, you know, just goes hog wild on chocolate every single day, I don't think most of us get that much stimulation from chocolate. But look at what you're ingesting that has stimulant properties to it. Because stimulants by their very nature turn on that HPA axis. It causes the body to start dumping adrenaline and cortisol and blood sugar. So reducing those stimulants when they're not necessary, ideally completely. But you know, let's be realistic. Reducing those stimulants is going to be helpful for not hyperactivating or erroneously activating that HPA axis. And if you reduce stimulants, oh, and nicotine, if you reduce stimulants, preferably eight hours before bed, you know, try to stop the caffeine at noon or 1 o'. Clock, you'll sleep a lot better. Because the half life of caffeine for most people is between 8 and 12 hours or so. You want to make sure, or I'm sorry, that's the full life between four and six hours. So it stays in your system for eight to 12 hours, which, you know, so whatever you drink at noon, if you're talking about caffeine, even if it's a, you know, Diet Coke or root. Well, root Berry doesn't usually have caffeine. Dr. Pepper. Drink those things at lunchtime, it's still in your system at around midnight. So being aware of those things is really important. And how that affects your HPA axis, your sleep and your mood. And S stands for supportive relationships. Tons of research has been done that has shown that our relationships are our greatest buffer against stress. Sometimes we just need a sounding board that we can call up and go, hey, I'm really stressed out right now. Sometimes it's enough just to have somebody empathize with us. Other times that person may say, okay, I hear you're stressed out. Let's kind of look at this. Because, you know, they probably say it nicely, but you may be making a mountain out of a molehill. You know, it's really good to have other perspectives, but also just somebody to listen and say, you know what, I'm here for you if you need something. I've got your back. To summarize, the acronyms are AMCHORE and scores for Coping with Past Trauma. Any of these things that you do are going to be helpful regardless of whether you have past trauma or not. But since most people do have traumatic incidents, you know, it's helpful any of these things. And all of these things are part and parcel of a healthy recovery lifestyle, doing what you can to make sure that your body is optimally functioning, to help you feel as good physically and emotionally as possible. A lot of people question comes in. A lot of people don't like to be told about the benefits of sleep and stay up way too late. Any tips for convincing people about the importance of sleep? Well, that's where motivational interviewing comes in. It's important to, you know, if you're talking with somebody about this and you think it's a real issue, which, you know, with my, my children are teenagers right now and you know, it's an important issue for them because they're, they're wanting to be grown now and, you know, they still need that extra little bit of sleep because they're still actually growing, providing information in tidbits. You know, don't give them a 20 page dissertation about sleep. Give them something that is short and to the point, especially as it relates to them. So if they're presenting with depression, present them with information that shows how sleep is related to depression. Present, present them with information with how sleep is related to difficulty concentrating. Um, you know, tie it back and make it meaningful to them, not just in general. You know, you need sleep because it's good for you. Make sure they understand why it is important and how it will help them feel better physically and emotionally. Uh, you know, it's really key to make sure to enhance their motivation. Thank you. Real money. It's also important to give them, you know, multiple different tips. When we talk about motivational interviewing, there is a concept called frames. I didn't come up with that acronym that SAMSA did, but it stands for feedback. The first, and that's what we just talked about, providing people information about, you know, how much sleep they technically need and you know, what the research says about, you know, sleep deprivation and letting them know that it's important. So feedback is important. R stands for responsibility. You put the responsibility on them. I'm not going to make them do anything because guess what? I can't make them do anything. I'm just providing them the information and they are going to do with it what they will or what they won't. A and I don't like the word advice. In, in graduate school we're always taught that counselors don't give advice, but you know, that's part of the acronym. A is advice and M is menu of options. I kind of wrap those together and I provide people with, for example, a sleep hygiene checklist. So they might be able to, if they're not interested in getting more sleep, maybe they can start getting better sleep, higher quality sleep. You know, sometimes people won't balk as much about that. So I give them a sleep hygiene checklist so they can identify anything that they may want to look at addressing so they're sleeping better, if not longer. You know, that's a step in the right direction. E is for empathy. We want to empathize with not only why they want to change, because that's us. We're telling them you want to change, but we want to empathize with why they might not want to change. Let's look at why is this person resistant to getting more sleep? You know, maybe they, they're burning the candle at both ends and they've got too much going on. And it's important for us to maybe look at that as a therapeutic issue. But sometimes it can't be helped. If they've got three toddlers at home and they work a full time job and they're a single parent, you know what, sleep probably isn't something that they're going to be able to get a whole lot more of. So we can help them improve the quality, if not the quantity. Right now, people who have new babies at home, and I say people because the whole family often gets awakened when Junior wakes up for the, you know, the 12 o', clock, the 2 o' clock and the 4 o' clock feedings. So those things are important to look at with them too. Ultimately, remember, your job is to provide them information through the feedback, advice, a menu of options, things that they can do if they're interested, improve in improving their sleep. Opening that door so when they're ready to talk about it, they can. Putting the responsibility on their shoulders, being empathetic and making sure that you're providing enough support. You know, don't just bring it up in session once and then never bring it up again. You know, regularly check in and say, okay, how do you think your sleep's going? What's your energy level like? Are you getting improved sleep? And see where you go from there. Those are ways that you can start. And, you know, on the YouTube channel, I do have a lot of videos on enhancing motivation, because there are multiple types of motivation. Really quick. Physical motivation is how does it help the person feel better physically, have more energy, less pain? Emotional, how does it help them feel better emotionally? Cognitive motivation, how does whatever they're thinking about doing, how does that make sense that it will actually logically help them feel better? Environmental motivation, put things in the environment that make it more inviting to do whatever it is, you know. Environmental motivation for going to the gym may include putting your gym bag by the door, doing things that remind you to do it, and relationship motivation. Looking at. For some things you can say, how will it improve your relationships if you do this? How will it improve your relationships if you're not exhausted and living on caffeine and irritable? But other ways you can look at relationships is who in your social circle, who in your support system would be willing to encourage you and maybe walk this journey with you? It's easier to start working out or even start sleeping better. You know, whatever you're doing, a lot of times it's easier to stick with it if you've got a. A battle buddy going in with you. To answer your question, Edwin, about nightmares, it depends on, you know, a lot of people who have trauma have nightmares, and that could be its whole other unique standalone presentation. But what can you do when you are. When you awaken so you can get regrounded? That's one of the first things. So you feel safe as soon as you open your eyes. What do you need to do so you can feel safe in your environment? For a lot of people, that means having a light right by them so they can, you know, quickly turn it on. Ideally, one that's, you know, one of those tap lights so you don't have to fumble around and try to find that little, you know, pushy thing to turn the light on. I don't know what it's called switch. So something that you can easily turn on again. For me, my dogs are wonderful in terms of if I have a Nightmare, waking up, feeling more grounded. If I wake up and Brewster is still sacked out on the, on the bed next to me and he hasn't even raised an ear, I get regrounded pretty quickly and feel safer before you go to bed. A lot of times people who have nightmares lay in bed and they stress about having nightmares and that actually sets up a stress reaction that can increase the likelihood of having nightmares. Guided imagery can be super helpful when you're going to bed. Focusing on something positive, focusing on something that you really enjoy doing. Not necessarily sleep related. I mean, you can envision yourself sleeping through the night and waking up and not having a nightmare, you can do that. But a lot of times people I've worked with have found that it's helpful to focus on something completely different. I will think about when I'm laying there trying to go to sleep and if my mind's racing, I, I will think about what I'm going to plant in my next garden. Whether it's the spring garden or the fall garden, that's something that occupies my mind. Some other people will think about their favorite place and really immerse themselves in it, thinking about, you know, five things that it smells that they smell, five things that they see, five things that they hear. So they're really kind of getting into it. There are a lot of different relaxation strategies that can be used, but it's important to find one that works for you, that helps you not lay there and dread going to sleep for fear of the nightmares. Keeping a journal can also be helpful for nightmares. A journal of, you know, throughout the day, what you ate, how you felt, that can be helpful to. Sometimes people find that if they eat certain things, they have bad dreams, or if they, they have too much caffeine, it makes them have bad dreams. You need to judge what works and what triggers yours. But also keeping a log or a journal, not only of what you do throughout the day, but of whether you have a nightmare or not can be helpful because sometimes it feels like, quote, every time I go to sleep, I have a nightmare. If you start journaling and you notice, well, it's not every time. It's three out of every five days. You know, that's still a lot. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to minimize that. But my question would then be to explore what's different on the days that you're not having nightmares versus the days that you are. And it can be triggered by stuff that happens during the day. Like I said, things that you eat too much Caffeine. There are a variety of things, maybe even things you watch on tv. I know TV can be really triggering. So, you know, just starting to notice and be aware can help with some of those. Some of those nightmares. And knowing that when you wake up, if you wake up from a nightmare, knowing that you will be able to immediately turn on the light and yes, clap on, clap off the clapper, you'll be able to immediately illuminate the area and get regrounded and feel safe can also be helpful. There are other things that can be done, especially if you've got ptsd. EMDR is really helpful for people with PTSD who have a lot of flashbacks, night terrors, and those sorts of things, especially if more basic interventions don't help. So you do have, you know, options that. That span the. Span the continuum. Horror movies can trigger trauma. Yes, they can. But even things like Law and Order, svu, certain commercials, I know those can be triggering for people. The news can be triggering. We had a horrific story here in Nashville yesterday that was very disturbing to me. Now, it, you know, didn't trigger nightmares, but it was one of those that was very disturbing to me. And I can imagine if somebody had gone through, had been abused as a child, and they were seeing that story, which they were reporting very graphically, that it could have reawakened some of those memories and started making them feel unsafe again and may have triggered some nightmares. So do be cognizant of things and. And even remember, smells are our strongest memory trigger. So some things, you know, maybe even it's something like the cleaner that somebody used or the fabric softener somebody used. You know, just notice those different things. Is there a risk of the triggers getting worse by avoiding them instead of exposing yourself to them? It depends on the person. Every person is different. However, there is a chance if you avoid the triggers completely, that you will develop compensatory mechanisms to deal with them, to avoid them that can. That can make things worse. When we're talking about triggers, you know, I'm not saying, you know, let's talk. Let's take Law and Order svu. That's hugely triggering for a lot of people when they see. Even when they see the commercials or whatever can be triggering for them. So, you know, let's think about that for a minute. Is there a reason to your. To expose yourself to that? Now? I'm not saying avoid dealing with your trauma. You know, it's important to deal with your trauma, but there are some things that you don't need to expose Yourself to. You can choose to live authentically and say, you know what? That's not somewhere I want to go. I have a friend who was in the military for 20 years, did multiple tours, and there are certain movies that. And probably television shows that he won't watch because it is too much like being back there. And he's like, you know what? No, I don't. I've, you know, dealt with these things in my way. I'm happy. I'm not having nightmares. I'm not having any symptoms of ptsd. I don't want to watch that and trigger those sorts of things. So, you know, like I said, it depends on what you're. What you're avoiding. It's important to deal with the underlying trauma and help yourself feel safer. But anything that triggers those memories. Those memories are never going to go away. Anything that triggers those memories can trigger some unpleasantness depending on the person. You know that there's a wide range. Having coping skills so you feel competent and empowered to deal with those reactions is more important than avoiding the triggers altogether. Knowing that if you get triggered, you can cope with it. It's not going to completely overwhelm you is huge. And. And that is comes with taking back your power, feeling empowered, and being able to know and reassure yourself that you are safe. And if something happens, that is, you know, if there's a threat, somehow you are able to keep yourself safe. And there are a lot of different types of trauma. It's important to recognize that a lot of times, you know, people don't understand necessarily what's going on, especially in the moment. So if you are in a discussion with somebody and they start raising their voices and that reminds you of something in your past when raised voices were a real significant threat, then you know that that's not healthy. In the moment. You need to have strategies to figure out, how can I keep myself safe emotionally and physically. Sometimes it's grounding exercises. There are a lot of different ways to handle it, depending on the situation, but. But then also talking with that person afterwards, especially if it's something you. Somebody you interact with, you know, regularly, like a spouse or a boss. And expressing to them how triggering the raised voices are so they can be more cognizant. Do we ever fully heal from trauma? Depends on what your definition of fully healing is. If by fully healing you mean can we integrate it and live a happy, healthy life, I believe that's true. I believe we can. There are so many different approaches and treatments out there that can address some of the more resistant PTSD symptoms. I really think that most people have a really good shot at being able to integrate that experience and emerge from it feeling empowered. And it can be scary to change the inner critic because that inner critic often came from somewhere. You got that message from someone. So to address that inner critic means to address that someone or someone's that told you those things. So you know, certainly there, there can be a lot of issues dealing with that inner critic. And that is something that takes time to work through first before, when I work with people, before we start addressing trauma issues, I think it's so important that they have an entire toolbox of distress tolerance and re regulation skills, coping skills, whatever you want to call them all. So when they start to feel triggered, they don't feel like they're losing control. They feel like, okay, this is unpleasant, but I got this. You're quite welcome, Zacky. I don't know if there's a name for what it's called when a positive comes for from a trauma. A lot of times we talk about it in terms of dialectics, looking at taking the good with the bad. And sometimes leaving the situation is what you have to do to be safe. And that's being authentic. And it's important to full. But it's a combination, you know, the people in your environment that are especially triggering. Hopefully they are willing to also be empathetic. Alrighty everybody. Thank you for being with me today and I will see you tomorrow.