6 Mistakes in Goal Setting Tips to Achieve Success -- Porn Addiction Series

Hey everyone, and welcome to this video on six common mistakes in goal setting. I'm your host, Dr. Donnelly Snipes. Goals help you get focused. They help you create a plan for success. And success, after all, increases your sense of confidence and self esteem. When you set a goal and you achieve it, you're like, I did that. Sometimes we set goals and we don't necessarily think we're going to reach them. And we reach them and we're like, oh, wow, I didn't think I could do that, but I did. That. Failure, unfortunately, often decreases our sense of competence or increases our sense of hopelessness and helplessness. We may set a goal and fail to achieve it, and then we're like, well, what happened? Why can't I do that? Why can't I recover from my depression? Why can't I graduate from college? Why can't I get an A in this class? And it's important to look at the goals that you're setting and see if you're missing something good. Goals are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time limited. So let's take a look at those. A lot of people make the mistake of setting goals that are too vague. It's important to be able to say how you will know when you've achieved your goal. I'll be happier. Well, what does that look like? How am I going to know when I'm happier than now? And a lot of times people find that it's helpful to use what we call a Likert scale. One to five. One, I'm miserably depressed. Two, I'm here. I'm not depressed, but I'm not happy. Three, I'm content. Four. Okay, things are going better. Five, I'm just ecstatic and rating on a day to day basis what their mood is. That way they know when they've achieved their goal. I'll be a success. Okay, great. What does that mean to you? What success means to me may be different than what it means to you. So what does it look like when you've achieved your goal of being a success? Some people set goals that are too big. Is this something you can do within a month? There are principles in behavior modification called behavior strain that basically say that if we don't achieve rewards, if we don't receive rewards for what we're doing, then we're going to lose our motivation to do them. So it's important to make sure that you're getting rewards for what you're doing and ideally that you're able to accomplish something within A month, if you're able to accomplish it, but it's going to take four years. Okay, well what can you do within a month or within three months? College, for example. If your goal was graduating college, well, that's wonderful. However, let's make some smaller goals. First. You've got to pass this semester, and that's a three month goal. That's something you can get through, you can check off and go, okay, I'm one step closer to my ultimate goal. Sometimes people set the wrong goal and you may be scratching your head going, how could a goal be wrong? Sometimes people will do things because they think it's going to make them happier. Maybe they decide to go back to school because they hate their job and they think if they get training in something else, they'll be able to get another job and it'll make them happier. Ultimately, they find out that it's not the job itself that's making them unhappy, it's the work environment. And they really don't like working in an office with other people. All right, so going to school for two or four years to learn a new, new skill was the wrong goal. The goal that would have helped them function in an office environment might be to address what it is that they find toxic about that office environment. Sometimes people skip the skills. Great goals will fall apart if you don't have the skills and tools to accomplish them. If you want to recover from depression, well, that's great. But if you don't have the ability to identify and manage your emotions, if you don't have effective communication skills, if you don't have people who can support you as you're learning these new skills, then you're probably not going to be very successful. So it's important to recognize what skills you need in order to actually achieve the goal. What is it that you need? I can want to build a wooden bookshelf, I can be really motivated to build that wooden bookshelf. But if I don't know how to use the tools that are necessary to cut the wood and put it all together, then I'm not going to achieve my goal. So motivation is great, but you've also got to have the skills and abilities or know how to get them. And finally, not enough time. And I call this myopia short sight. Because people will set goals and they're like, I want to do this and I'm going to do it in a month. Well, that's great if you've got nothing else going on in your life. But you've also got to remember, you need time to sleep, you need time to eat, you need time to grocery shop and do laundry and whatever else you do in your life. So it's important not to overestimate how much time you're going to have available to to devote to this goal. Because you want to make sure that if you say I'm going to get this done in a month, that it's something that actually can be achieved within that month period. If not, can you break it down further into smaller chunks into something you can do in a month and still meet all of your other responsibilities? If the videos on this channel are helpful for you, please support us in our mission to make high quality, practical content available to to Everybody. Donate@docsnipes.com Donate Join the YouTube channel at Docsnipes.com Join or purchase a thanks on videos that you particularly like. Goal setting is an essential skill. Whether you're hiking the Appalachian Trail, managing a company, or just changing a behavior, Goal setting and planning may seem like a waste of time, but it often prevents unnecessary mistakes and wasted time having to do it over again. Even the best written goals will sometimes fail, so even if you set some great goals, it's still important not to confuse goal failure with being a failure. Other videos you might find interesting include Goal setting at Docsnipes.com Goal setting increasing motivation at Docsnipes.com get going getting unstuck at Docsnipes.com Unstuck and for counselors out there, a CEU class is available at allce.com Goal CEU links to these other videos are in the show notes below.