8 Questions to Help You Get Perspective | Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Welcome to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Nuggets. I'm your host, Dr. Donnelly Snipes. In this video, we're going to be talking about challenging questions, and I've developed the mnemonic Face Palm to help you remember the steps. Challenging questions can be used when we're experiencing distress. The F stands for what are the facts for and against your belief in this situation? For example, I had a friend who recently retired, and he was worried that he wasn't going to be able to make ends meet, he wasn't going to be able to find a new job, and then he was going to end up homeless, penniless, and a drug addict living under a bridge. So, you know, he went really extreme in his catastrophizing. So what are the facts for and against that belief? What are the facts supporting the belief that he is actually going to be homeless, penniless, drug addict, living under a bridge? Okay. Once you identify the facts for and against your belief, you also want to look at additional factors. You know, for him, he had people who loved him, he had people who would pitch in to help him. You know, heaven forbid, you know, he did get to the point where he couldn't pay his rent. He had family and friends who would welcome him with open arms. So exploring additional factors. He lived in an environment in which jobs were plentiful, so the likelihood that he wouldn't be able to get a job was minimal. He also was retiring from the military with a hundred percent pension, and so the likelihood that he wouldn't be able to scrape by on his 100 pension, plus, you know, a little bit of extra work was pretty minimal. Would it. Would he be able to live an extravagant lifestyle? No, probably not. But would he end up homeless, penniless, and a drug addict under a bridge? Probably not. C stands for context. Look at what's going on in this context at this point in time. It's important to remember that you may have been through similar situations in the past when you weren't safe, when you didn't have power, when things could have gone a much different direction. But at this point in time, with your resources and whatever's going on, are you safe? Are you able to deal with it? How is this context, how is this situation different than similar situations in the past? E stands for extreme language. Address those words, like all, nothing, destitute. The words that are very dramatic or extreme are often misplaced most of the time. Things that are happening are happen sometimes or even often, but not always. P stands for what's the probability? The Likelihood that the worst case scenario's actually going to happen. So for my friend, based on the facts of his current situation, you know, how much his bills were and how much his pension was going to be, the additional factors of having jobs that were available, maybe not ones he wanted, but jobs that were available and family and friends that would welcome him with open arms, what was the probability that he would end up homeless, penniless, and. And a drug addict and he wasn't using drugs. He's not current, not currently a drug addict. Probability of that worst case scenario happening was pretty dagum slim. Could it happen? Well, sure, anything could happen, but I would put that at a probability of like.01%. What are some alternative explanations for whatever's going on right now? If you are upset about something, what are some alternative explanations other than what's going on right now, right now that might be more accurate? Maybe your significant other comes home and is late and is acting weird. You know, and I use the term weird. What are some alternative explanations other than your significant other is cheating on you and getting ready to leave you? You know, there could be a lot of other explanations. So going back, what are the facts for and against your belief that your significant other is cheating on you and going to leave you? What are any additional factors that might be needing to be considered? You know, maybe your significant other just got a promotion at work and is exhausted and, you know, dragging their butt home, just, you know, completely wiped out. What is the context of this? You know, is your significant other acting weird all the time everywhere, or just with you? And if it's all the time everywhere, you know, that's different than just with you, and you want to explore that. What is the probability that your significant other is cheating on you and getting ready to leave you? You know, and. And you got to evaluate that factually. What are some alternative explanations why they might be acting weird and distant right now? Maybe they are weird and distant because they're planning a surprise birthday party for you and that's why they're taking those calls in the, you know, in the other room and not letting you know who they're talking to. You know, it's possible. L stands for learn. Every situation gives us an opportunity to learn about ourselves and other people. So ask yourself, what can I learn from this situation about my expectations, about my assumptions, about the people in my life? And M stands for move forward. What is the next step I can take? What is the next action I can take in this situation to help me move forward towards a rich and meaningful life. You know, doing things like getting drunk or you know, getting angry and walking out on your significant other, assuming that you know what's going on. Neither one of those is probably a helpful strategy for creating the rich and meaningful life that you really want. So what is the next best step for you to move forward from this situation and improve the next moment? So to sum up face palm facts for and against your belief, additional factors that might be contributing to the current situation or might buffer prevent problem the issue from becoming a big problem Context Considering what's going on. Is this in this one particular context or is it something that happens all the time? E Extreme language Check it, mitigate it, look for things that are more moderate. P stands for probability that the worst case scenario is going to happen. A is alternative explanations. What other reasons might this be happening? What other explanations might help me understand what's going on besides, you know my my worst fear? L stands for learn as you explore this situation, learn about yourself, learn about other people, learn from the experience and M is stands for move forward. What is the next thing you can do to use your energy to address this situation in a way that helps you move forward toward your rich and meaningful life?