Codependency Self Help: Embrace Your Inner Child for Healing | Week 6

Hey there everybody, and welcome back to week six of the Codependency recovery series. Today we're talking about reconnecting with your inner child. Last week we talked about abandonment fears and a lot of times your inner child is struggling with fears of abandonment. And that's what prompts a lot of these codependent behaviors. So start by reconnecting with your inner child. Just get to know them. If you have pictures of a young you, get them out. Make a scrapbook, add pages in that scrapbook for what you liked to do, your pets and anything important to you. Start thinking back to who was I? What did I like to do? Get to know yourself. Because a lot of times people who have codependent behaviors were taught that their thoughts, wants and needs didn't matter. Don't talk, don't trust, don't feel. So you may not have ever really connected with yourself to figure out what you liked. So think back about what did you like or do you think you might have liked? Put a picture of child you next to your bed and on the fridge. This can help you remember that person, if you will. Throughout the day. Starting today, you will try to be the parent to your inner child that you deserved. That means recognizing when you start feeling anxious or angry or even happy or giddy. Recognizing that, acknowledging your feelings and being the parent to yourself that you deserved. Envision your child or envision child you going through an entire day. How do you wish your caregivers would have acted? You know, thinking about, you know, if child you did this, how would you have wanted your caregivers to act? Or how would you treat a child in your life? Make sure in addition to the responsibilities, you also have fun and do that for yourself for the entire week. Spend time really getting to know your inner child. Paying attention to, what do I feel like right now? What's my gut telling me? What, what does my heart want to do? And sometimes it'll want to do grown up things and sometimes it won't and that's okay. Acknowledging those things. When you start to feel anxious or angry, that might be your inner child saying, I feel unsafe right now. Okay, Acknowledge that when you as as a young child felt unsafe, what did you want your caregivers to do? And do that for yourself. Now, if you're able to look at a picture of child you, you and think of a time child, you experienced a failure, rejection or loss. Now I say if you're able to, if this is too powerful, then by all means don't do it. But what you're really doing is starting to understand or identify those trauma memories and those losses that have yet to be fully processed. Where younger you was left feeling scared or depressed or hopeless or angry and that just never got resolved. It was just expected to go away. When you're thinking about these things, start with something that's a two or a three on a five point scale of intensity. Don't go to your worst memory ever. Start with something that was mildly annoying or distressing. See child you how did you feel? How did your supports respond? How did that make you feel? How do you wish they would have responded? And do that for child you? Now, for the rest of the week, simply become aware of your feelings and reactions. If you're feeling off, vulnerable, tired, numb, happy, silly, whatever it is, just become aware. Check in with your inner child to see how they're feeling and that really means doing a deep dive and going how do I really feel deep down inside? How do I feel right now? Validate how you feel and provide safety and support. Just like you don't pour your heart out to someone, even a therapist, the moment you meet them, it will take time to feel safe. Your inner child, the part of you that's been betrayed and abandoned, is scared right now. They need to learn that you are safe and will protect them and not repeat the traumas of the past.