Creating Environments of Abundance & Cooperation | 6 Weeks to a Happier You Quickstart Guide

Foreign. I'd like to welcome everybody to today's presentation of Integrative Behavioral Health. I AM your host, Dr. Donnelly Snipes. And today we are talking about creating an environment of cooperation and abundance. Just sit with that for a second and think about it. Wouldn't that sound amazing to be in an environment surrounded by people and things that are supporting cooperation and abundance instead dead of envy, greed, jealousy, resentment, all of those other things that are so stressful in our life? Abundance mentality focuses on a belief that there is plenty for everybody. You don't have to be jealous or stingy. And it's important to step back. When we start feeling angry, anxious, resentful, step back and try to recognize the abundance. For example, if you have a colleague or a friend who gets promoted, gets a raise, wins the lottery, whatever the case may be, and you start feeling jealous, you know, stepping back and asking yourself, you know, why is it that I feel jealous? And. And embracing that abundance mentality, recognizing that, okay, so that person has more of something than I do right now. That doesn't mean that I don't have enough. And recognizing your abundance, recognizing that some people may have excess of certain things, but not have a lot of other things. Maybe they have a lot of money, but not a. A lot of people who truly love them and are their friends. So focusing on the abundance that you do have will give you a direction for your energy that is more productive at enhancing your rich and meaningful life than using a lot of energy. Resentment, jealousy, anger, those sorts of things. We also can recognize this abundance mentality from the perspective that we don't necessarily need to be stingy. We can cooperate, we can give, we can lend, we can be friendly, we can give of our time, we can give of ourselves. If you have the ability, you can give of your money. And it's important to recognize that we do have the ability to make choices and, and to draw from our abundance. When we cooperate and synergize, we often create something much greater than we could have by ourselves. And it's important to remember that and think about times when you have partnered with someone, cooperated with someone, and created something much greater than you could have by yourself. I mean, even think of your children. Your children, obviously it took two to tango, but once they were born, you know, they are enhanced, they are more than they in many ways. They know more, they've experienced more, they've heard more, learned more. Being exposed to other people as opposed to only being exposed to you forever and always. So recognizing that synergizing and letting other people be there to help you and building on their strengths is a much more efficient way to build a product that or an end that is much, much greater, much more enormous than you could have by yourself. And when it's much more enormous, if you would have done it by yourself, maybe you could have created enough for you. But if you synergize and everybody works together and you create this thing that is enormous, more likely, more than likely, person will have more individually than they would have had working alone. Think of community gardening. I do a lot of gardening, and this is so true in community gardening. You know, one of the things we say is you can do a lot of. A lot of things halfway or you can do one thing really well. And when you're trying to manage an entire garden by yourself, it can be overwhelming to do all the weeding and pay attention to the bugs and make sure the nutrients are right and all the stuff that you have to do to harvest at the right times. But in a community garden, each person has their own little plot that is totally manageable for them. So their harvests tend to be much larger because they did have the energy to attend to the pests and those things. So think of life, if you will, as a great big community garden. In what ways can you synergize with other people? How can you cooperate to create abundance? Let's talk a little bit about strategies for cooperation. The first one is sharing. A lot of times we have to give a little to get a little, and we may not get a little back immediately. If your best friend is struggling, having a difficult time with something, and you give them your time, you give them your compassion, well, they appreciate that. And that kind of goes into what you might call a karma bank. And then when you are struggling, then they will likely be there for you. You may not get it back right away, but you are storing that energy up, if you will. You're storing that karma up in a karma bank. And that's what abundance is about. If you want to think of abundance as karma, it's not necessarily money, it's not necessarily time. And. And we need to recognize that abundance comes in many different shapes and sizes. What things could you share in your life? Time, money, wisdom, patience, compost, recyclables. You know, there are all kinds of things we can share to build abundance in your environment, your relationships, and your energy. Let's so. So let's think about that one at a time. We want to build abundance in our environment when there are jobs to go around then people are able to, you know, survive EAS more easily. When the earth is healthy, then it's easier to grow crops and your, and your gardens are more abundant. So, for example, you know, thinking about your impact in this great big spider web of life, when, at our farm, when we eat, there are almost always some leftovers. There are eggshells, there are things like that. We give those back to the chickens. The chickens eat those. Their eggs are better. Their, their eggshells are harder. When they're able to keep that calcium and kind of recycle it themselves. The scraps that they don't eat, the earthworms eat. So it makes the garden more fertile. And we use organic gardening because I don't want to use chemicals that are going to kill my little friends, the earthworms. So when we're talking about creating abundance, there are ways you can create abundance in your entire, in your entire universe. Not just, again, not just in your bank account and not just with your, with your social, your human social counterparts. What can you do to create abundance in your world? Abundance in your environment also means looking around and making sure you are doing what you can to be as, I guess green is the word that I would use as possible. Because you don't want to make this environment, you know, more toxic to yourselves or to other people because then you're fighting that battle. So thinking about your impact on things, what can you do to share or nurture your resources in your relationships? And we've talked about that a lot, so I'm not going to dwell on that one. And what can you do to share or nurture your resources in terms of your energy? And this is where we need to really think and use purposeful action before we do something. Is this a good use of my energy to help me create the rich and meaningful life that I envision? Is this a good use of my energy? How else could I use my energy? Could I synergize with other people to make this go a little bit more easily? For example, I am not handy. So yes, I could learn how to put the flooring in, in our house, but that would take me a lot of time and I am not nearly as skilled at it as other people. My husband, on the other hand, is great at it. So he can knock out a regularly shaped room in a day or two where it would probably take me a week. So what's the better use of my energy? Trying to learn hard, learn that, and do it the hard way, and spending a lot more time or asking him to do it and then taking on some of his chores like mowing the lawn so he is, so he has his time and energy freed up to do that. How can we do things that work together? We can also give, we can share. And I really want you to think about sharing instead of, you know, wasting or using or draining, think about sharing. How can you share your patience? And that's a big one. We need to regularly practice, and this is not one I'm good at, I will admit. We need to regularly practice patience and using our patience when we share our patience with others, which means when we don't get irritable with them at the drop of the hat. How much more does that create a, an environment of abundance and cooperation? That person feels love, feels acceptance. So it in it enhances their abundance and it makes them feel like it's a system of cooperation instead of competition. Pick your battles. That's another thing that we can do to enhance cooperation and abundance. And when we are fighting everything, every little battle that comes up, every little thing we think we have to comment on, snark on, well, that is a waste of our energy and it's going to drain our energy for abundance. It's going to drain our happiness when we are regularly, you know, going around and nitpicking everything. So think about what things do you struggle with right now, today, on a regular basis that may not be worth your energy? How can you deal with those? How can you say, you know what, yes, this gets, gets under my saddle, but it is not worth my energy, it is not worth my happiness, it is not worth my peace. And then what would you do with all of the energy that you freed up by letting that go? You know, imagine, remember back in the cartoons when you were little and they would, you would see, you know, these little bubbles of glow orbs of glowing energy, you know, imagine those orbs of glowing energy being freed up and, you know, making you glow from within, if you will. I know that sounds hokey, but whatever. When you let go of some of that stuff that you may not really need to, to fight with, and you have to make a decision about whether it's something that's worth your energy or not. When you're picking your battles, instead of thinking about how you can win, think about how you can cooperate loving people for who they are, even if you don't like what they do or agree with them. And that's a bad big one right now. How can we cooperate? You may not agree with your boss or your neighbor or even Your. Your family members about some things. Okay. But it doesn't. You don't have to agree with them on everything to cooperate on some things. With my children over the years, you know, I've learned they have. They each have their own unique strengths. Imagine that they're their own unique little people. And instead of trying to make them be like me, I appreciate their individual differences. And we cooperate or we try. You know, I'm sure they might say that I'm a little bit more demanding sometimes, but, you know, I try to cooperate with them in a loving way to say, okay, I know this is what is most important to you, or this is how you do something. It may not be how I do it, but it gets the job done. So I'm going to pick my battles and not fight this one. And. And I've shared this one with you before. My daughter does the. Does the dishes, and she does them just fine, thank you very much, but she does not put the lids on the corning ware, on the. On the storage dishes when she puts them away. And that is one of those little things that makes me want to have a nervous tick sometimes. But I recognize that her doing the dishes for me as part of her chores saves me a lot of time and energy. And by getting upset about that, which, you know, it's just different. She does it her way, I have my way. It's just different. Neither one is better or worse. By using energy, getting upset about the fact that she doesn't do it my way, I'm using up all that energy that she's freeing up for me by doing the dishes. Well, how stupid is that? So think about cooperation. Recognize that not everybody's going to do everything the way you do, but try to appreciate from their perspective what they're doing. Think about how picking your battles can help you increase your serenity. Remember, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. So how can picking your battles help you increase your serenity and focus energy on things that you have the ability to change and that are worth your energy and time to try to change, you know, and that is huge. When we start really focusing on those things, we realize, and we free up so much energy that while we may not have more time in the day, we are better able to make use of that time because we are more mentally, physically, and emotionally present, which takes us to synergizing and capitalizing on strengths. Take an inventory of your strengths and resources. What Are you good at what can you do what? And when I say resources, I mean really think wide. Resources can be people in your life that can help you. They can be things that you have that can make your life easier. They can be things that you have that can make other people's life easier. So maybe one of your resources you happen to be exceptionally blessed with, the knowledge of how to do electrical work. Well, that's a resource you have that you may, you know, your friend has electrical problem you, you may be able to help them with. Maybe you have patience of, of job and you love being around kids and that's one of your strengths. Well, maybe you can use that to provide a friend respite when they've got, you know, three children and they need to get something done. So thinking about the resources that you have that can make your life easier, the resources and strengths that you have that show that represent your abundance and the strengths and resources that you have that not only can work for you but can be used to help nurture the universe as it may be not only your relationship with others, but you know, the world. Then start thinking about the strengths and resources that your significant others have. And when I say significant others, that's kind of friends, family, you know, maybe even bosses and co workers at work. And you may have a co worker who has opposing strengths to yours. They may be very good. You know, for, for my example, I am one of those, you know, broad picture thinkers. Definitely an N on the Myers Brick or yeah, an N on the Myers Briggs. I'm, I'm very much intuitive. But there is a time and a place where there's a need for detail orientation, there's a need for micromanaging, and that is not my strength. Underscore, bold, all that kind of stuff. So when it comes to, for example, putting me in, in charge of a department that needed something or putting me in, in a team that I was going to work with, my boss would always consider that and he was great at that at assessing people's strengths and resources and putting people in that would synergize because they had unique strengths and skills that often didn't largely overlap. So he created really strong teams. Think about, and this is where we really start recognizing our abundance. Maybe we don't have everything, but we have strengths and resources and those in our life have strengths and resources. So when we combine those, how can all of those work together to create immense abundance in our little corner of the world? And really we need to focus on our little corner of the world and focusing on today. We don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. We can't predict what's going to happen at the end of the week. All we can do is do the best we can with the tools we have today. So what can we do to synergize and create that? You know, I don't know why I keep doing this. To show abundance. There's something in that non verbal but where it's growing and it's blossoming. So we have that abundance in our life. Harmony is another strategy for cooperation. Consider your impact on people on the world and consider their impact on you. How could you harmonize to improve your abundance? I've shared with you guys before that I love wild birds and so I feed the wild birds. I feed the cardinals and the chickadees and the titmice and that makes me happy when I sit on my couch in the morning and drink my coffee. When I'm there at daylight, I see those beautiful little birds and it increases my happiness. It enhances my abundance in that moment in time because it is gives me a small sense of awe and wonder at these, these little creatures that come to visit me every day. And it starts my day off right. Abundance doesn't have to be something huge. Abundance can be a fit feeling of peace and contentment. How can you harmonize in your relationships? Think about relationships right now where you may be being critical or stingy or maybe you're not picking your battles. How could you harmonize in those relationships? And if you harmonized, how would it increase abundance? What can you do? What, what is the, the impact of being nitpicky and critical and all that stuff? What is the impact of that on your relationships versus what would the impact be if you chose to try to create win wins and be harmonious and win win comes down the last thing we're going to talk about today. And we want to use win win scenarios to enhance motivation. And it goes along with harmony and synergy and all this stuff kind of overlaps but we need to help the other person in order to motivate them to synergize and harmonize and cooperate. We all need to be motivated to do it. And in order to be motivated we need to see, unfortunately the way we're wired. We need to see how it benefits us. How will it increase our abundance to participate in this? How will it. And maybe it, it might not be immediately, but it may be down the road. And that's where we go back to that, that karma bank you Know, sometimes you need to, you're in a place in your life where you're doing a lot more put giving out and it seems like you're paying in a lot, but you're not getting a whole lot back from your karma bank. But eventually it turns around. Think about when your children were infants and you know, they could give you a smile here and there, but especially in their first few weeks when they were a lot of time and they like never slept and they, they cried, they ate, they pooped and they slept and that was about all that they did for those, you know, first six weeks or something. During that time, you know, it's hard to synergize. You're not feeling like you're getting a lot of abundance back from that little, little person and. But as they grow, you know, once you get through that period, you put a lot into it and then all of a sudden you have this amazing little human being that brings such richness to your life and, and it comes, the energy and time you put back in comes back, you know, in, in exponentially to you. So those are things that you may consider when you're thinking about creating abundance, recognizing what you're doing, doing it for the right reasons, and believing that it is going to create a, an environment that you want to live in that's characterized by cooperation and harmony. What other things might you do in order to enhance cooperation and abundance in your environment? How can you, what can you do today to create that sense of contentment where you're not feeling jealous, envy, stressed, worried about where you know the next job is going to come from or the next this is going to come from or that is going to come from. I know a lot of people are looking for jobs right now or looking for other jobs right now. And recognizing what is it that I can do in order to create a sense of abundance? What resources might I have that can help me find that job? You know, if you have friends, you know, reaching out to them, seeing what they know. When you are a good steward, when you try to be a giving person and a cooperative person, a lot of times you'd be surprised at how much people are just ready and willing to help if they know you need it. And that is the beauty of abundance. Alrighty everybody, have a great day and I will see you tomorrow, same time, same station.