Depression Signs Symptoms and Causes Part 4 of 4

Good morning, everybody. I know I'm running a little bit late today, so I apologize for that. Welcome to those of you who have already logged in. And I'm not even centered in the screen. Let's see if we can fix that. Alrighty. Whoa. There we go. Anyhow, I hope everyone is having an absolutely amazing start to their Friday. We will get started with this presentation in just a second. I'd like to welcome everybody to today's presentation of Integrative Behavioral Health. Today we're talking about interpersonal symptoms of depression. This is part four of four. I'm your host, Dr. Donnelly Snipes. So while we've talked about some of the physical symptoms of depression and cognitive symptoms of depression and obviously emotional symptoms of depression, there are also interpersonal considerations. When people are depressed, it impacts their relationships with others as well as their self esteem. And y' all know that I lump self esteem in with interpersonal relations because it is our relationship with ourself. And when we feel depressed, a lot of times we beat ourselves up for it. We can feel inadequate in a lot of ways because, you know, sometimes we just don't have the energy to get it done. We don't have the motivation. So our self esteem really can take a hit. And that is a symptom of depression. Isolation, withdrawal and emotional unavailability is another sign potentially of depression. It can also be a sign of anxiety or PTSD or physical exhaustion. I mean, remember, a lot of different things can cause these symptoms. But it's important for you to examine yourself and what's going on. If you have withdrawn from others, if you have isolated yourself from others, or if you're still around others, but you're just not emotionally available, you really just can't care about anything that they have to say. That may be an indication, a big indication that something is amiss. And it very well could be depression. When we are depressed, a lot of times we are out of gas. We feel like, you know, just getting up and getting dressed and putting one foot in front of the other is really arduous work. So we have difficulty being tolerant of other people's stuff, their requests, which could be presented very nicely. But when you're completely out of energy, any request can seem like a monumental task. So we may become intolerant of other people. When wanting things from us, whether it's our attention or us to do something or some, anything like that, we often have a lack of motivation to care. And it's not that we don't love these people, but we Just don't have any energy to invest in them. We are that depressed, we are that out of gas. And we also may fear rejection because we have no energy, no gas to get motivated to do the things that we would normally do. Because we tend to feel very frustrated and intolerant of other people because we just, we can't. It's just, you know, I just, I just can't, I can't take it, I can't tolerate, I can't deal. And those are all indications that there, you may have some underlying depression or anxiety. Some people, when they're depressed, develop increased dependence on other people. Instead of isolating, they actually feel much more dependent and disempowered, like they need other people to care for them. They can't. They don't feel like they can even do the activities of daily living. So they feel much clingier, they feel much more fearful of abandonment. And interpersonally, you know, when you're depressed, sometimes, just like your moods can be erratic, your relationships can be very erratic. You're not consistent in your ability to pay attention and be responsive to people. You have difficulty with responsiveness. Some days you might be able to be there and, you know, get it right. Other days you just, you don't have the energy. And it may not even be on a day to day basis. It may be an hour to hour basis, attention paying attention and nurturing relationships. A lot of times you don't have the energy to do that. You may squeak out a little bit here and there whenever you can, but it's not again, consistent. It's difficult to validate, empathize and support other people when you're feeling depressed. Because again, that takes energy, that takes effort. Even if it's just, you know, committing cognitive resources, cognitive focus to talk to somebody on the phone. That is really difficult when you're clinically depressed. So these are all signs or symptoms that potentially may occur when you are experiencing depression. So the question is, well, what do we do about them? Be compassionate with yourself. That's one of the first things. If you had a friend who was sick, who was depressed, who was, you know, experiencing some of these symptoms, would you be critical and judgmental and angry at them? Most likely not. You'd probably be compassionate. So turn that compassion on yourself. You're going to waste a lot more energy beating yourself up for not doing what you think you, quote, should do than you would energy spending being compassionate with yourself and saying, okay, let's take it moment by moment and practice really living in the moment. What can I do with right now to make this the best moment possible? Making sure that you are attending to those physical needs as much as possible and recognizing that depression is a sign that your body factory is on the fritz. There's something that is causing a, an imbalance in those neurotransmitters. So it's important to be able to diagnose what's going on and figure out, you know, why is it that I am feeling these symptoms that I'm feeling? Is it because of stuff going on that I'm having difficulty coping with, because of health behaviors, Because I have a negative outlook, because I don't feel like I've got any support and I feel unsafe and disempowered? What's going on that's contributing to this feeling of threat and this lack of things that would promote norepinephrine, dopamine and serotonin, you know those and, and oxytocin. We talked about those that a little bit yesterday. Oxytocin is our bonding hormone. When our oxytocin levels are low, we tend to feel more isolated, we tend to have less desire to engage in pro social behaviors, engage with other people. When our oxytocin is low, we may feel depressed. So thinking about what things can I do that can help me feel more connected? What things can I do that can help increase my levels of dopamine and serotonin? So I might have a little bit more energy to do even small things to address my self esteem, to be good to myself, to love myself, as well as to, you know, be aware of relationships. And when, when I say be aware, I'm recognizing the fact that when we're depressed, we're not just going to, you know, smell some lavender and be like, okay, you know, I'm all back and what can I do to help? It doesn't work that way. Relationships are interesting and when we look at them from a, you know, step back perspective, we recognize that relationships are a give and take. You know, when your best friend is struggling and they need you, it you give a lot of energy and then there may be times when neither one of you is particularly needy and it's, you know, great, you're nurturing that relationship, adding, What's the word I'm looking for? Adding value to that friendship bank. So then when you are needy, you can draw on that, you know, so it's a transfer of resources back and forth. So when you are depressed, your, your best friends, your friends, your people who love you, don't expect you to be all there for them and able to give 115% like you always do. They are there to be able to try to nurture you and help you along just like you would do for them. And, and it's important to recognize that so you can rely on the kindness of others in order to help you through. When it feels like you, your legs are, are stuck in quicksand, they can help you walk that path until you can shake off the quicksand and start feeling more like your regular self. Another thing that we often forget is that our, our friends, our loved ones often want to help us when we are struggling, but they may not know how. And if we assume they know were setting both of us up for disappointment because you know, then we feel bad because they're not doing what we want them to do. But if they don't know what we want them to do, they can't do it. So we need to communicate, we need to ask for help. We need to give people the opportunity to be able to be there for us. And it actually, they've done studies and they've shown that it strengthens relationships when people are able to do things for one another. When someone is able to help me, it actually strengthens their belief in the health of our relationship. So it feels like it's a give and take and we give people that opportunity. So those are the things I would encourage you to focus on in terms of eliminating things. You know, when you're depressed, it is helpful to consider setting boundaries and minimizing exposure as much as possible to people who are totally negative and totally stressed out. You don't want to get that whole group thing going on where they are confirming your worst fears. You know, you want somebody who can validate how badly you feel, but who can also embody the fact that there is hope at the end of the line. You want them to be able to help you, you know, see that there is, there are positive things forward and use their energy in a positive way to help you move forward instead of holding you back. I know this was a short one. There wasn't a lot to talk about today. Are there any questions? Well, I hope everybody has an awesome, amazing weekend. I haven't checked the weather today. I think it's supposed to be beautiful here in central Tennessee. So, you know, hopefully I'll be able to get out and do some, some planting for my spring garden. And I hope you guys have something you look forward to and I will see you on Monday. Now remember that Mondays is when I answer questions. So if you have questions about, you know, anything mental health related, email those to wellness underscore one@yahoo.com that's wellness underscore one yahoo.com and I will use those questions to fuel the show on Monday. Have a great day, everybody.