Effective Coping Skills for Daily Life When Feeling Overwhelmed

Hey there, everybody, and welcome to this video on effective coping skills in daily life when things just feel overwhelming. I'm your host, Dr. Donnelly Snipes. We're going to use the Pieces method to identify some coping skills. There are a lot of coping skills out there, so don't think that if the only things that I say are the only things that are out there. But let's talk about some coping skills you can use. Remember, vulnerabilities are situations or factors that make us more likely to have difficulty dealing with life on life's terms. When you're sick, for example, you're more vulnerable. Think about how easy it is or not easy it is to focus and to do what you need to do when you are just sick as a dog. And okay, sickness is a vulnerability, pain's a vulnerability. There are a lot of vulnerabilities, and I do have videos on explaining vulnerabilities in depth. But for the purposes of this video, it's important to recognize your vulnerabilities so you are preventing unnecessary distress and freeing up energy that you can use to cope with life on life's terms. Physical vulnerabilities and coping skills. Get enough sleep. Try not to abuse stimulants, and that includes caffeine. And try to avoid alcohol when you are feeling overwhelmed, when you are feeling stressed, and I know some people are going, oh, no, Doc, there's no way. Everybody's going to make their own choices. But remember that when you drink, you may feel calmer initially, but as that alcohol starts to leave your system, your anxiety actually intensifies. So it may increase your sense of feeling overwhelmed pretty quickly. Exercise when you can. And I know you're like, exercise. Really intense exercise can help sort of burn up or burn off cortisol. That's oversimplified. And low intensity exercise can also help. Or what you're doing is you are using up some of that energy that's been released in your body to exercise instead of just having it going, okay, what do I do with this now? Why are we talking about these physical interventions? Because when you, when your body is under stress, your fight or flight system is going to be on. When it is on, it's going to be harder to deal with anything in life. It's going to be harder to think clearly, it's going to be harder, harder to focus, it's going to be harder to sleep, it's going to be harder to do a lot of things. It's going to be harder to deal with life on life's terms. So you need to do as much as you can to pay attention to the health of your body. Factory Interpersonal skills for dealing with life when it feels overwhelming. Have compassion for yourself. We all get overwhelmed and sometimes it's just like, okay, that's okay. Have compassion for yourself. Reach out and get support from somebody else. Ask other people for help when things get overwhelming. And finally, don't be afraid to say no. It's better. I know that's another one that makes a lot of people's skin crawl. It is better to say no if you are already feeling overwhelmed than to say yes and get completely burned out and be irritable and cranky and nasty the whole time you're doing it, or do a sloppy job or all of the above. Emotional coping skills for daily life Mindful awareness of how you're feeling. Don't get caught in the trap of dirty discomfort. If you feel angry, all right, you feel angry. It is what it is. Recognize, remember, anger and anxiety are emotional responses when you think there might be a threat. Just like the smoke alarm going off is a response when the smoke alarm thinks there might be a fire. It doesn't mean there's a fire. It doesn't mean there's a threat. When you feel angry or anxious if you do okay, so let's look at what you feel the threat is, the facts for and against that, those beliefs in the current context. Are you safe or are you not? And what steps can you take to address it? And the other emotional coping skill is distress tolerance. I'm sorry, life's gonna suck and that's just the way it is. I wish I could make it so that wasn't so, but it is. Developing distress tolerance skills and recognizing your ability to guess what tolerate distress is going to go a long way to helping you feel safe and empowered. Even when you're angry, even when you feel anxious about something, even when you're grieving or depressed. Distress tolerance doesn't mean sitting with that feeling and nurturing it and feeding it and holding it and continuing on. Distress tolerance means being able to believe that I can feel this feeling and not be completely overwhelmed by it. Think about buildings during a hurricane. When a hurricane comes through, those buildings that are stress tolerant are able to withstand the winds and eventually the winds go away. The same thing is true for humans in the hurricane, when the winds come in, your. Your walls are strong. Windows, not so much. So what do we do? We board them up so they don't shatter in the high winds. Same thing is true for humans. Knowing that you can tolerate the distress and knowing where your windows are so you can board them up and prevent unnecessary distress is really important. Cognitive coping skills. Oh, my gosh. That's cognitive behavioral therapy. Helping you recognize the good with the bad. You know, tragic optimism is acknowledging the bad and having hope that things can get better. Dialectics involve embracing the fact that there's always going to be bad and good in the world and being okay with that. We don't have to love it that there's bad, but we recognize it's going to happen and we can prepare ourselves to deal with it. When you're feeling overwhelmed, cognitively learn time management strategies. Identify strategies that will help you prioritize what you're doing so you can use your energy purposefully to move toward your rich and meaningful life. When you're feeling overwhelmed, make sure that you are setting goals. Write them down. That can be really helpful so you can see on paper or on your spreadsheet what you're expecting yourself to do. And if you look at it and go, oh, there ain't no way, then it's important to step back and regroup and. And redo that schedule. When you're feeling overwhelmed, you're feeling like there's too much to do and you're just pulled 17 different directions. Step back and figure out, okay, how am I going to get this done? And what is a reasonable, reasonable goal for this? I know for me, right now I'm working on creating a new treatment program, and ideally I would love to have it up before Thanksgiving, but realistically, it's probably going to be January 1st, and I hate the fact that it's out that far. But I know that if I try to get it done sooner, I. I either won't do a good job at it, or I'll feel completely stressed and overwhelmed. And other things in my life that are important in my rich and meaningful life won't get done. And finally, environmentally, when you're feeling overwhelmed, try to minimize the clutter. That doesn't mean you've got to sort everything and alphabetize it, but it means trying to keep flat surfaces relatively clear. If you have a bin for mail, for example, trying to do that. Because research has shown that regardless of your temperament, regardless of your personality, when you are surrounded by clutter, it tends to increase distress and make you feel more overwhelmed. And finally, misery loves company. And this could go under interpersonal or down here in an under environmental. But if you're feeling overwhelmed, sometimes it's helpful to use the buddy system. Somebody else who has to do a lot of the same things so you can support and encourage each other through the stuff that you don't like to do and celebrate each other's victories.