Enhance Optimism With Crab Grass / Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Nuggets

Welcome to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Nuggets. I'm your host, Dr. Donnelly Snipes.

In this video, we are going to talk about something a little bit different.

We're going to talk about optimism. And ironically, for this, the mnemonic device is crabgrass. And I think it's kind of funny.

Because crabgrass is one of those things.

I come from Florida, and it's a big issue there, but crabgrass is almost always green. And I am really happy. When I've got a green lawn, I don't really care what kind of grass it is. So that's how I embrace crabgrass. Even though it may be something of a weed, it's green, so it serves my purpose. And that is, you know, what you might call radical acceptance. Taking the good with the bad.

Optimism and crabgrass in order to enhance your optimism. C stands for create something to look forward to.

Always have something that you are looking forward to at the end of the day, at the end of the week, at the end of the month. You know, have rewards set out for yourself, whether it's a nice night out with your best friend or sleeping in.

Late or whatever it is.

Have little things that you can look forward to. Enjoy your life.

R stands for radical acceptance.

And that's what I was talking about just a minute ago with crabgrass.

Find the silver lining with crabgrass itself.

As I said, it's a weed, but it is a weed that stays green almost all year long and it spreads like wildfire. So, you know, it actually can be kind of helpful in some ways. And I know there are landscapers out there that are cringing right now, and I'm sorry for that. But radically accepting what is Accepting the good with the bad. Trying to find the silver lining with COVID You know, recently we've gone through this whole Covid and the lockdowns. All right, the lockdown sucked, no doubt. However, the. For.

For some of us, we were able.

To spend more quality time with our significant others. My teenagers weren't able to be out and about all the time, and they ended up spending more time with us. So that was good quality time. The air quality improved in a lot of places. We reduced our carbon emissions. So there were some positives to it. There were some significant negatives. Don't get me wrong. But embracing the good with the bad can help create optimism.

A stands for anticipate the positive. Get up in the morning and think.

To yourself, how is today going to be awesome? Not what do I have to deal with today, but how is today going to Be awesome, Anticipate things going well, Anticipate the positive.

And B stands for be present.

A lot of times when we are not being mindful, when we're not focusing on the present moment, we're focused on the future and things that we're worried about or on the past and things we regret or resent. You know, that is not creating optimism. Optimism can be created if we're present and if we notice what is going on. This morning when I was on the.

Way to work, a skunk crossed right.

In front of me in the road.

And, you know, no, I don't like.

The smell of skunks, but this one wasn't odiferous.

And he was this great big, cute, fluffy little critter.

And I was so thankful and grateful that I didn't hit him because it was four in the morning and it was dark and I actually, you know, could have if I hadn't been paying attention. So being present helps us notice some of the awesome things in our life, helps us notice the little things and not take them for granted, which can encourage optimism because we start noticing the beauty and the wonder.

G stands for growth and learning.

Whenever we experience something.

Figure out how.

To grow from it. And it can be good or bad. I try to learn from everybody I encounter. I try to learn something new every day. I try to grow as a person, and that helps me be more optimistic.

R stands for realistic.

You know, optimism has its limits, but.

It'S important to be realistic.

You're gonna really set yourself up for frustration if you have unrealistic standards and unrealistic goals. Break it down. Be realistic about what to expect from people. Don't underestimate them, but don't overestimate either. When you're more realistic, then people meet your expectations, and it helps you be more optimistic. When you're more realistic, you meet your own expectations, and it gives you optimism that you can accomplish. Whatever you set out for for.

A is affirm yourself.

Make sure to focus on those positive affirmations every single day, and you can send out affirmations to other people. Loving kindness. Meditation is great for this. But affirming your own worth, your own strength, your own capabilities, every day can help create optimism because it creates a sense of personal strength and power.

S stands for solutions. Every time you encounter a challenge.

Notice I didn't say problem. Every time you encounter a challenge, brainstorm solutions. My first supervisor always had a rule. You know, you can come to me if you've got an issue, but also bring at least one solution. To that issue that we will be talking about. So it's important not to just complain, not just to focus on the, and I'll use the P word, the problems. We want to also identify solutions. That encourages you to think outside the box, which also encourages optimism. Because instead of focusing on the problem here, you see solutions, you see opportunities, you see ways to fix the problem, which can help you feel more optimistic. And the last S stands for serenity.

When we try to change the things.

That we cannot change, we will get frustrated, we will feel powerless, we will feel not optimistic. When we focus on the things that we can change and accepting the things we cannot change, we will develop a sense of serenity. And that serenity goes with us. When we recognize that we can tolerate not succeeding, not being able to control everything all the time, it frees our energy up and helps us be optimistic about the future. Recognizing that we can't know what's going to happen in the future, we can't control everything that's going to happen in the future.

But guess what?

We can survive because we are surviving right now. We are surviving even when we can't control everything.

So to sum up, crabgrass, Create something to look forward to radically.

Accept unpleasant situations.

Anticipate the positive every morning. Be present.

Focus on all of the good things that are going on right now.

Grow and learn every day.

Find something to strive towards.

Set realistic goals for yourself and others. Affirm yourself and others every day.

Use those positive affirmations. Find solutions. Instead of focusing on the problem, focus on solutions to situations and serenity. Recognizing we cannot control everything all the time. Serenity is essential to optimism.