From Pleasure to Pain: The Neuroscience of Porn Addiction Unraveled

Hey there, everybody, and welcome to this video on how sex, porn, or masturbation can become an addiction. I'm your host, Dr. Donnelly Snipes. In this video, we're going to explore the development of sex and porn addiction, cravings, tolerance, withdrawal, and what we eventually call depression and disaster, or the bottom in a very straightforward way. The next video I do will explore the process even more in depth in using all of the sciency terms, but I'm going to try to keep this one as user friendly as possible. So let's start out with the four component theory of arousal. When exposed to a stimulus, and that's any stimulus, not just a sexual one. There are four components involved in the arousal process. Cognitive. You see it, you identify it, you objectify it. You go, what is this? Emotional desire and expectation of pleasure. Okay, I know what it is. Do I want it? Let's take chocolate cake. Love me some chocolate cake. I walk into the kitchen, I see something on the counter. I cognitively identify it as chocolate cake. My emotional response is, yeah, that would be really good. I want some. Now, emotional and autonomic or physical often happen almost at the same time. So I may start salivating and going, yeah, I want some of that cake. Those are the physical changes. Then there's the motivation. Is it worth the effort? Do I want to actually have to get out a plate and a knife and eat it? Well, yeah. Or do you know, if I eat this piece of cake, I'm gonna have to go to the gym and, you know, work it off. So is it really worth it to me for this momentary pleasure to. To have the cake? All right, so let's look at it in terms of porn. Cognitive appraisal. You see porn, you know what it is. Hey, this is porn. Emotional. You expect it will lead to a happy ending. Usually does. Because of that expectation, because of that expectation of pleasure. Chemicals, you'll have physical changes. Arousal. And then is the motivation, is it worth the effort? Porn is a very low effort endeavor. So for most people, the thought is, yeah, it's worth the effort. Now, in relationships with, with humans in real life, the motivation component may stop people, they may see somebody they think is very attractive. They may desire to be with that person, they may get aroused. But then the motivation, is it worth going up and trying to meet them? Is it worth trying, trying to get to my end goal? And a lot of times motivation falls short because that's a lot more work. Okay, so we understand a little bit about arousal. Now let's talk about the andro Accelerator hypothesis. When a person ex is exposed to a sexual stimulus, it adds testosterone to the normal excitatory chemical cocktail of dopamine, glutamate and endorphins. And that testosterone intensifies the pleasure. You know, it makes it way more pleasurable. And it's kind of akin to the difference between drinking a beer and using cocaine. And I'm not recommending either one. However, you can see where one is way more powerful and way more addictive than the other one. This increased intensity leads to the faster development of tolerance, which is physiological addiction. And when not engaging in pleasurable behavior, stronger cravings, there's more changes that happen faster in the brain, which means the person is going to have stronger cravings. They're going to need more of that of those chemicals that they're not getting anymore. This is even more true for adolescents and young adults under the age of 24, partly because they have an even stronger hormonal response than adults do. Think about your hormonal response when you were 16, 18, 20, versus your hormone hormonal response when you were 26, 28, 30, a little bit less. And if you're not that old, trust me, and up until the age of 24, your brain is still developing. It is still malleable. It's like a vase that has been formed in clay. And it's beautiful vase, but it hasn't been put into the kiln. It is still easily injured, easily remodeled. Once you put it into the kiln, what you got is what you got. You can't remodel it as much anymore or as easily. When you start poking at it too hard, you start causing cracks and then you have to fix them. Tolerance develops due to changes in the brain's reward and stress systems due to changes in the wiring. Okay, Wiring in the, in the nervous system are altered to help protect the people from the flood of neurochemicals. And as I said in other videos, it's kind of like if you live in a flood zone or you're going to build a house in a flood zone. You build your house up on stilts. If you know that there are regular floods because you don't want all your stuff to get ruined. So tolerance is when the city or county or whatever codes has started to say if you're going to build here, you need to build it up on stilt because it's not safe to be down low. There are changes in the way things are built. There are changes in the neuro neurological processes engaging in the addictive behaviors. Any Addictive behaviors, not just porn. So if you stop using porn and then you start drinking alcohol or start doing something else like gambling or gaming, you are still flipping. Flooding those neurocircuits engaging in addictive behaviors increases the release of dopamine and other hormones and neurotransmitters that regulate your mood, enhance pleasure, and are involved with movement, motivation, energy and attention. Over time, the brain adapts to the increased levels of chemicals to the floods by reducing the number of receptors or the amount of hormones or neurotransmitters released. So the brain either puts in floodgates or it reduces the amount of water released from the dam. In order to try to regulate what's going on now, the person needs to do more or use more to even feel normal. So if you started relying on those flood waters to water your crops, now you, you need to do more. Figure out some other way to water your crops in order to make sure that they grow. Cravings have intensified because the dopamine system is getting increasingly broken each time you use. Each time you flood that system, the brain goes, okay, we need to develop another workaround here. We need to put another regulation in place to activate the dopen dopamine system. The stimulus also must be increased to produce the pleasurable reaction. The person may use harder or more shocking porn or combine porn with some other type of risk, like watching porn while they are sitting in the parking lot in somewhere. Again, don't do it. I'm just giving you examples of what people have done. This weakens the associations between pleasure and in real life, stimuli and strengthens this, the association between pleasure and porn. The person receives pleasure from watching porn. Neurons that fire together, wire together. I'm going to say that a couple of times today. So the things that produce pleasure are going to be the things that you crave, the things that haven't produced pleasure, or it's been a long time since they produced pleasure. You're not going to crave as much because your brain's going, no, that's not a guarantee. But this is a unique characteristic of the brains of porn addicted people is that the intensity of the pleasure response comes from the anticipation, not the actual orgasm. So if they're watching porn and they're watching it for five minutes, they get aroused and they could have an orgasm. Well, they could, but the intensity of the pleasure response is not going to be there. It's going to be sort of a nothing burger. Well, I don't know that that was worth it. This is especially true as the Brain starts to become dysregulated as it starts to restructure itself. It's like eating cookies. The first time you have them, they are amazing. But if you have them at every meal every day for a month, eventually you don't look forward to them as much, and the pleasure they produce will be less. As I mentioned earlier, as the brain progressively becomes broken, if you will, as the nervous system progressively becomes broken, people need to find a way to intensify the pleasure. Because the pleasure of that cookie, as. As we said before, after having it every day for a month, it just doesn't do it. And I still want that pleasure. So what do I need to do? Put icing on it? That would be it. So for people who watch porn, how do they intensify the pleasure response? They com look at harder porn. They combine it with something or edging. And edging is one of the things that I see a lot in people with porn addiction. And sometimes it can be really time consuming. This explains why a lot of people addicted to porn engage in hours of edging and rarely finish a video. It's the anticipation of what is to come that keeps increasing the dopamine levels. So it's kind of like filling up a. Filling up a jar. You know, each time they get almost to the point of orgasm and they stop, it increases the pleasure chemicals. It also increases the stress chemicals some, because, you know, that's kind of unpleasant, but it gets them up to that point, and it adds a little bit, a little bit of dopamine to the jar. And each time they edge, it adds a little more dopamine to the jar. So eventually they'll get to the point where they found the perfect video to finish the process, and they're able to orgasm and actually experience the pleasure that they were looking for for a lot of people. Now, for some people who are really struggling with porn addiction, this may mean hours and hours of edging and porn. So think about how much time they're losing to sleep, to work, to family activities, to whatever, because they're trying to fill that need, that neurochemical need that they have. Withdrawal symptoms develop when someone who's addicted stops using suddenly or what we call cold turkey. The brain has remodeled to expect these floods. And when you're not producing these floods, then it's not getting enough communication down the communication pathway. So when they stop cold turkey, the levels of hormones and brain chemicals plummet. You know, you're supposed to have this much up here in order to feel okay. They're down Here, the amount of hormones and neurochemicals getting through the system goes down. Here, there's a stoppage. This can lead to physical withdrawal symptoms. Remember, neurotransmitters and hormones are responsible for far more than craving and pleasure. They are involved in energy and sleeping, in digestion and even in movement. When dopamine gets out of whack, we see things like restless legs. And in people with Parkinson's disease, one of the things that's out of balance for them is dopamine. Withdrawal symptoms occur because the brain has adapted and become dependent on these increased levels of hormones and chemicals to function normally. Think about it this way. If you had 20 workers in a factory, you'd get used to that. You would order supplies. So 20 workers could stay busy all day long and produce however much they could produce. You would get used to producing that much each day. Well, suddenly the boss comes in and lays off 10 of your workers. But you're still expected to meet that same productivity level with half the staff. What do you think's going to happen it there's going to be a problem? Physical withdrawal symptoms can vary depending on what the person is addicted to. But do remember that most people will experience irritability and restlessness. The brain recognizes the chemical imbalance as a problem, as a threat. So it triggers the stress response system or the HPA axis, which makes puts us in fight or flee. So we feel irritable and restless. Our brain is saying, hey, something's wrong and you need to do something to fix it. There may be sleep difficulties because of the changes in neurotransmitter balance, chemical balances, or because of the restlessness, libido changes, low energy, increased pain sensitivity, mood swings, low motivation, and brain fog. These are all very normal symptoms of withdrawal, and they can go on for a little bit of time. This is because the brain doesn't get that message right away that, hey, we're not doing that anymore. So you can take down all the barriers, you can remove the dam and go back to what you used to be. Takes a minute for the brain to get that message, and it takes even more time after that for the brain to actually go in there and do that. Remodeling, it's not just a thought that happens. There's actual neurocir that needs to be repaired. Psychological withdrawal symptoms like irritability, anxiety, depression, and low motivation for anything occur due to hormone and neurotransmitter changes do are due to the physical withdrawal. You start having these changes in the balance of the Brain chemicals, you're going to experience some mood symptoms just the way it is. But it can also be because you have learned that using the addictive behavior, in this case porn, will provide relief from the physical withdrawal symptoms, pain and emotional distress. You know that there's something that will make you feel better right now, and it's so close, but, but you're not doing it and that can make you irritable. If people's main stimulus is porn, then the craving for another hit of the pleasure chemical may make them aware or hyper aware of porn adjacent stimuli in the environment when they experience pain or distress. Because pain or distress, you want relief, you want pleasure. So you become more aware of porn adjacent stimuli. And the physical or physiological withdrawal symptoms can also make you hyper aware. Your brain's scanning and going, where can I get some relief? Where can I get some relief? Ah, there. And it may not be porn itself. So what are these porn adjacent stimuli. And that's my term, it's not an actual technical term. Porn adjacent stimulus stimuli is anything in the environment that can trigger the memory of pleasure from porn and causes an initial, an initial release of dopamine. You see a computer and your brain dumps dopamine. And it says computers let you access porn. So go, go find a computer. Porn adjacent stimuli, unfortunately are everywhere. Sites, people in real life or in media that look like you favorite porn star can trigger that memory. Or if they are, if you're watching television, which has become ridiculously explicit these days. I'm old, so forgive me, but it can be triggering. The commercials can be triggering. The shows themselves can be triggering seeing computers or even seeing clothing. You're walking through the mall and you walk past fix Victoria's Secret, all of a sudden you're triggered again. Smells and sounds like voices and music that are associated with porn use. Now you can understand the sounds that might trigger the desire to use porn. Things that you hear in the videos. But smells, you know it's on a computer. What, what am I smelling? The smells associated with porn use. If you use in your room, the smell of your room. If you, well, you, you get my point. So a smell that reminds you of that places. If you've used at home, then being at home may be a trigger. Especially if you're home alone or if you've used in the office bathroom, then going to the office bathroom may be a trigger. So one of the things I would recommend would be not taking your mobile device with you. When you go to the bathroom, go to the bathroom, come out even if you've got to go, as my son would say, long type of bathroom, don't bring your phone. Times of day. Some people get habituated to using at certain times of day, like right when they get home for stress relief or before bed to help them get sleepy. And that doesn't necessar. That's not necessarily a bad thing if you don't have an addiction. You know, some people come home from work and they have a beer to help them relax. Doesn't mean that they're an alcoholic. So. But times of day can also be triggering. If there are certain times that you typically start using and then experiences. There are certain experiences or stressors that may make you start craving porn. Maybe you have gotten into a fight with your significant other and then you've gone into your office and you've used porn. So that experience, that stressor, when you have a fight with your significant other, that may be a trigger for using porn. So triggers are kind of everywhere. As I like to say, the world is a never ending ad for pornhub when you have a porn addiction. So let's go back to that appraisal process we talked about, cognitive appraisal for porn. Once aware of the stimulus, once you're aware of the porn or the person, then you mentally or cognitively appraise and objectify it. And, and that means objectifying a person. You may be in a store, you don't see somebody as a human being, you see them as an object. And that is one of the dangers of porn. When you're watching it, you're seeing different situations, different scenes, and it becomes much less personal. But anyway, you see it, you appraise it, you objectify it. I'd like to see that or I'd like to get with that. Okay. If you're focused on an image or a person in the present, you may visually undress the person or imagine them in sexual situations as part of the appraisal process. Let me see, am I anticipating pleasure? Yeah, yeah, I am. And this reminds you of prior porn use. So this is a cognitive appraisal process. Unlike the girl next door, porn is what we call a super normal stimulus, which will result in extra intense doses of dopamine and testosterone and other things. This leads to extra intense cravings. Supernormal stimuli are those stimuli that are more pleasurable or accessible than what is natural. For example, they say that sex is one of the most powerful pleasure producing activities that we can engage in naturally. Okay, that's fine. But then you've got cocaine and wow, that is an intense pleasure rush. But that is a super normal stimulus. That is not something that is supposed to be accessible normally or naturally. Porn is super normal because, number one, it's endless. You can just keep watching it more and more and more. So there's more available to you in more different varieties than you could possibly experience in real life. And because what you're seeing is generally more curated, attractive, or more shocking than in real life, those scenes that you're seeing in porn, sometimes, depending on what porn you're watching, but are often airbrushed, are often scripted, are often rehearsed and edited, and all kinds of stuff. So it looks a lot more perfect than what actually happens in real life. And the person looks a lot more attractive than they actually probably, they actually probably do in real life. So and, and think of all those celebrities that you see the pictures of them out shopping and you're like, I wouldn't have even recognized them. Well, no, because they don't have all the perfect lighting and the perfect makeup and the perfect this and that. So porn sets you up to expect things that are not realistic in real life most of the time. So then we move on to 2 and 3. Emotional appraisal and automatic response. So you've cognitively appraised it, you've identified it as something that could produce pleasure, something that you want to engage with. Then as desire and craving and physical changes increase, you may enter the fight or flight or stressed state. So now you're like, I want that. And you start thinking with, if you will, the wrong head. You're not thinking with your higher order cognitive processes. You're hypofrontal. That means you're not using your wise mind. You're thinking about pleasure. And that happens when you're in fight or flight. Your brain is not designed to step back and evaluate things, is designed to help you stay safe or eliminate the threat or access the reward. It's not a thinking state. So you're. Once the person identifies what it is and their expectation of pleasure is high and their desire starts to increase, they start having those physiological changes and arousal, they're not thinking clearly. An inability to fulfill this urge causes irritability or anxiety. Kind of like getting hangry when you're on a diet. You know the food is there, you're hungry, you want it, but you can't have it, so you start getting cranky. And this is very mild compared to what happens in porn addiction because the craving is so much stronger. Additionally, since dopamine, glutamate and testosterone are directly related to serotonin levels. If the person is blocked from fulfilling the urge for long enough, they may start to feel depressed. And the takeaway from that is because your brain chemicals are out of balance. And if they stay out of balance for long enough, then you're going to start feeling the effects of that imbalance, which can be depression. All right, so they've seen it, they've identified it, they expect pleasure, they are aroused. Now to the motivation. If it's a person, the person evaluating the situation thinks to themselves, is it worth the effort to try to have sex with this person? Or is porn easier and more guaranteed? And again, notice the thought is not about building a relationship, it's about achieving pleasure. Neurons that fire together, wire together, and people's beliefs about in real life, encounters in real life, sex is going to affect what is motivating to them. If they've had great experiences in real life, then they may be really motivated by human partners. If they have not had such a great experience in real life and have had success with porn, then there that pathway is going to be stronger. Likewise, as I mentioned earlier, there are lots of different genres of porn out there, and it may be more extreme than what most people are willing to do in real life. So if they can only get aroused by the really extreme activities, then they may know that in real life that ain't going to happen. So they're not aroused by a real life person. If they are focused on some sort of media like a billboard or a commercial or something, they're going to think to themselves, briefly, is it worth the effort to. To get somewhere that I can access porn so they may start to get aroused and then start thinking, do I have time? Is there somewhere I can go? Is it worth the effort? Generally, the thought is, yes, it's worth the effort. It's the other things that get in the way. Do I have the time to take care of this before my next meeting? Now, a person with a porn addiction may get to the point where they go, I don't care, I'll be late for the meeting. But there are functional addicts, there are functional alcoholics, which means you don't have to be completely falling apart in every part of your life in order to qualify as having an addiction. So don't deceive yourself and say, well, you know, I've kept my job and I haven't got arrested, so I must not have a problem. Remember, it goes back to, do you continue using despite knowing that porn use is causing problems in One or more areas of your life, do you keep doing it even though you know it's going to cause you pain? In terms of motivation, there's also a very little chance of rejection and a significant anticipation of pleasure. With porn, which increases the dopamine. The brain goes, I got this. The memory of the first time and the anticipation that this time is going to be just as good or better than the last is what fuels people to chase the high. They'll keep adjusting to tolerance by changing their behaviors or edging and surfing to try to make it as good as the first time, to try to get as much dopamine and endorphins. And as they got the first time. Think about your first kiss. There's a lot of dopamine and endorphins that happen. Then the next time you kiss the person, yeah, it may still be great, but it's not quite the fireworks and butterflies. And that's just how our body adapts to things. Testosterone increases the rate at which addiction and tolerance develop in sex and porn addiction. So when testosterone is added to that pleasure mix, it is intense. Sex and masturbation produce the highest level of dopamine release to a normal stimulus. Porn, however, is a super normal stimulus which increases its addictive nature. The more porn is associated with pleasure, the stronger the connection makes sense. The drive for sex is fundamental. We are programmed to procreate. The drive to protect ourselves is also fundamental. When overexposed to dopamine and glutamate, the neurons in the brain start to die. When those floods keep happening, the cells in the brain start to die. It's, and the brain says, I'm wired for survival. This can't happen. I've got to protect myself. So the nervous system adapts to protect itself and alters the levels of hormones and brain chemicals not only in the pleasure circuitry, but everywhere in the body. There. It, it isn't an isolated thing. The brain's, the brain's very global. This causes physical, emotional and cognitive withdrawal symptoms when the person is not emotional using. When they override the system, it causes further brain damage. So when a person relapses and they use again, even the bra, even though the brain's going, we can't stay this excited this much, this long, you know, so I'm going to develop this tolerance for you. When you override that so you can feel better, then it causes further brain damage. You're flooding over the floodgates. For more information, a step by step program for porn addiction recovery can be found@docsnipes.com par and if you're interested in learning even more about the science of porn addiction, check out the next video on the neuroscience of porn addiction.