Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes describes how thinking errors like all-or-nothing thinking and mind reading trigger fight-or-flight reactions that can lead to aggression. She explains how to counter these distortions by evaluating facts in context and considering alternatives, and notes that social media amplifies the problem.
Hey there, everybody. I'm your host, Dr. Donnelly Snipes. And today we're going to talk about how cognitive distortions actually contribute to violence. Cognitive distortions are errors in our thinking that make us feel like we are more powerful or less powerful than we really are. It's important to examine how certain cognitive distortions can make us feel. Feel like we are unsafe. And when we're unsafe, what happens? We go into fight or flee, which contributes to acting out. It contributes to more impulsivity in people, which can, if left to fester, can result in verbal aggression or even, unfortunately, physical aggression. So let's just look at some examples of those cognitive distortions. Personalization. If somebody does something and you assume they were doing it because they were trying to insult you, they were trying to reject you, or they were being intentionally unkind to you, then yeah, that may prompt you to feel threatened, to feel defensive. I get that. Personalization is often incorrect. So it's important to look and say, what are three other explanations for why this person may have done it besides my belief that they were trying to be aggressive or threatening toward me? All or nothing. Thinking is another one of those cognitive distortions that can contribute to fear and it can really amplify fear. If you think that every person that is like this is a threat to me or nobody out there is ever safe, or nobody out there can be trusted, then yeah, you're gonna feel stressed and unsafe and disempowered most of the time, which is going to trigger that fight or flight reaction. It's important to step back. Back. If you are using all or nothing type terms and ask yourself, what are some exceptions? What are some exceptions to people like this who are safe, who are kind, who are compassionate? What are exceptions to people being untrustworthy? Do I know anybody in my life who is trustworthy? And chances are you probably know one or two people. The availability heuristic. This is another one. That when there is something that is emotionally salient is what they call it, but emotionally impactful, it makes it more prominent in our mind. So if somebody does something to you that is unpleasant or nasty, or somebody does something to somebody else that's unpleasant or nasty, and you know about it, even if that person normally is a very nice person, you may start seeing them as threatening because what they did was so awful. And it's important to step back. One of the things we often talk about in leadership meetings when we do annual evaluations with people, it's important not to be tricked by this availability heuristic. The things that somebody's done over the past year that were, you know, really big mistakes they made and focus only on that. We need to step back and look at the whole picture. What have they done over the whole year, not just those two or three big mistakes that they made. So going back to people, we need to step back and not overgeneralize and assume that people of a certain, you know, certain types of people are going to be this way and that that includes like children, where you're assuming that all children are going to be completely rowdy and rambunctious. Well, that may not be true. Ultimately we need to keep coming back to what are the facts in the current context for and against the belief that I am unsafe and I am powerless. And a lot of the times we're going to find out that it's not true. Now unfortunately, social media can really tend to amplify cognitive distortions by presenting information that's grouped. So it does feel like this may be ever present, ever threatening, overwhelming. It is important to evaluate, well, evaluate social media, whoever you're following, for its accuracy and its accuracy in context. What's going on overseas is horrible, it's awful, it's threatening. And if you lived there you would be terrified. And you know that's not a cognitive distortion. However, where you live in your corner of the world, what are the facts for and against your belief that you are unsafe? And if you feel unsafe, how can you address it without violence? How can you address it so you feel safe and empowered without being aggressive and causing someone else to feel unsafe and like likely lash out back? There are a lot of other co. Oh, mind reading. One more. Mind reading and jumping to conclusions kind of go hand in hand. When you assume you know what somebody's thinking, then you're likely going to set yourself up for making a lot of inaccurate assumptions. Mind reading is when you assume that because somebody is of this religion or of this political affiliation or of this whatever, because they have that affiliation, they are going to think this way, they are going to do this thing. And that completely ignores the individual's ability to think and choose on their own. So. So it's important not to overgeneralize. It's important not to assume that you know what somebody is going to do or jump to conclusions. If somebody comes in the, in the office and they're just in a God awful mood and you assume that they are angry with you and they are a threat to you in some way, you're going to react a lot differently then if you notice in the moment, hey, this person is really wound up. Anger is one of those responses to feeling unsafe and powerless. Okay, so this person feels unsafe and powerless. I don't know what about, but it doesn't necessarily personalization have to do with me. So instead of assuming I know what this person wants, needs or is going to do, it's important for me to step back and say what information do I have in context? And when I don't have all the information, it's important for me to actually get it, ask, do the research in order to make an informed decision. So as I started to say, there are a lot of other cognitive distortions, but what I want to point out to you in this video is the fact that cognitive distortions often, often you think you are being more powerful, but a lot of times they make you feel unsafe and powerless in your environment. Always go back to what are the facts for and against my belief in context and if there is a threat, what steps can I take in order to feel safer and more empowered when without infringing on anyone else's boundaries.
