Master Your Mind: Overcoming Unwanted Thoughts at Night

Hey there, everybody, and welcome back to the Doc Snipes Channel. Today we're talking about seven ways to stop ruminating at night. I'm your host, Dr. Donnelly Snipes. Now, I do have other videos on addressing ruminations, what causes them, etc. But this one specifically focuses on ruminations at night, those ruminations that keep you from getting a good night's sleep. One of the first things that can be helpful is maintaining a present focus when you're ruminating. When you're worrying about something, you're either thinking about something in the past that you can't change or something in the future that you can't necessarily totally predict. You don't know how it's going to turn out. So a present focus helps you identify those things that are within your control. You can focus on what's going on around you right, right now. So practicing a mindful awareness and non judgmental acceptance of your thoughts, you notice, hey, I'm really thinking about this or I'm ruminating about this. Okay, that's what I'm doing right now. It doesn't mean I have to continue doing it. And then redirecting your focus to the present. One of the things I like to do. Well, we'll talk about guided imagery in a minute, but focusing on what's going on right now right in front of you, which takes us to guided imagery. When left to its own devices, your brain often wanders to worries and fears. A lot of times your brain's not going to wander to the really good stuff because the worries and fears are the things that could cause you harm and your brain wants to protect you. So if you notice that your mind wants wanders to those worries and fears, know that that's normal. However, you can intentionally direct your mind to a safe, positive place that can help you relax and fall asleep. Some people will envision their safe place. And the more senses that you use when you do this, the more focused or the more intent your brain and your energies are going to be on that image as opposed to these thoughts. Over here, you're taking all of your energy from those thoughts and using it to help your brain paint a picture of the sights, the smells, the sounds of that particular situation. Some people will do other things. And one of the things that I love doing is planning my, my garden. Whether it's my spring garden or my fall garden or I'm thinking about how I'm going to relandscape some aspect of our yard that can really help me focus my energy. So it's not thinking about those other worries and concerns. I'm thinking about whether I'm going to put rose bushes or aelas or whatever else. And that's something that I find relaxing and rewarding. And I generally find that when I start thinking about it, before long I. I drift off to sleep because I've quit worrying. Cognitive restructuring can be helpful. Now, you don't want to spend a lot of time on this because it's going to keep you up, but it can be helpful if you've got one thing that you're ruminating about. Ask yourself what are the facts in this situation in this context at this time? What are three other explanations for why it might be happening? If that's appropriate? What are three possible outcomes and what is how likely is it that my worst fears will actually come true? You know, you could go for a job interview and you could miss the job interview because your car breaks down. You could go to the job interview and it goes well and you get the job. You could go to the job interview and it goes poorly and you don't get the job. Okay, so those are three options. How likely is it that your worst fear is going to come true? And what is the most likely outcome? What do I have control over in this situation? Sticking with the job. You can't control whether you get hired or not. You can control how you present yourself and act and interact in the interview. But just because you have a great interview doesn't necessarily mean you're get going to get hired. Because a lot of times hiring managers are looking for something very specific in who they're interviewing. Someone who will be able to mesh easily with the existing team. So it may, if you don't get the job, it may not be because you weren't good enough or you weren't qualified. But but you weren't the right fit for that team at that time. But what you do have control over is your presentation. And then what is the best use of my energy at this time? You're laying in bed, you're worried about this job interview, or you're thinking about a fight you had with somebody earlier today. You're mulling it over in your head and you're ruminating and you're having difficulty getting to sleep. What is the best use of your energy at this time? Is continuing to flip that around in your head and play hot potato with it going to help you? Or is it going to prevent you from getting sleep and make it more likely to ruminate more tomorrow? Help us continue to make practical tools available to everyone by supporting the channel. You can donate any amount@docsnipes.com donate or or on cash app at Doc Snipes. You can become a member of the YouTube channel and get perks@doc snipes.com join or purchase a super thanks on any videos that are particularly helpful. And if you don't have money to donate, you can also just share share with your friends. The more this gets shared, the more that people find the channel, the better it is to help the Algos recommend our videos to other people and help us grow Another thing you can do and this is one Another One of my favorites is a thought box. When I am ruminating at night, I have something that I'm worried about. I will write it down on a piece of paper and then or sometimes I'll put it on my mobile device, on a notepad, on my noble on my mobile device. That way I know that I won't forget to address it. But it's down there. Sometimes when we toss things around in our head and we keep having these thoughts, it's our brain saying, don't forget. Well, if you've written it down, you won't forget. So writing it down on a piece of paper or on a notepad app on your mobile device can be helpful. And then allow yourself time each day to process those things. Sometimes I call it worry time and limit that time so you're not worrying throughout the day, you're not worrying all the time. And you know when you're laying down to go to sleep, now's not the time to worry. I will have my worry time tomorrow afternoon. Social Support Sometimes it can help to get someone else's perspective on the situation. And it's not always appropriate to call somebody when you're laying there trying to get to sleep. Call your best friend up two in the the morning and go, hey, let me get your opinion on this. Okay? So sometimes you have to think to yourself what would so and so say? And I think to myself a lot of times I'll be laying in bed dwelling on something and I think to myself, what would daddy say? Or what would my mother say about this? What sage wisdom would they give me about this particular situation? And that can really help me draw on the knowledge that I already have and sort of get somebody else's perspective. Past awareness is another thing that can be helpful. Recognize how the current situation, whatever you're ruminating about, reminds you of something stressful from your past, A time from your past when you felt unsafe or powerless. Compare the current situation to the past. How are they similar and different? How are you similar and different? And how did you cope with or wish you would have coped with the past situation? So, for example, if you are laying in bed at night and you're feeling unsafe, you're worried that somebody's going to break in, for example, okay, maybe that's reminding you of a time in the past where you've been vulnerable to that or, or somebody you know was vulnerable to that. And you say, oh, I hope that doesn't happen to me. Okay, well that's a reasonable thought. However, how are, how is that situation where somebody was vulnerable similar to and different from your situation right now? For me, I think, well, I've got dogs. I live out in the middle of nowhere, farm town, so somebody would really have to particularly want to find my residence in order to bother me. It's not like I live in the middle of the city where, you know, there are lots of people around. And how could you cope with the situation? What could you do right now to cope with this situation? If you've already locked all the doors and turned on the porch lights and stuff, then knowing that you've done everything you need to or can do can be helpful. And then there's self compassion. Getting angry about having the ruminations and struggling to make them go away is sort of a natural response, but it's not helpful. It's like trying to struggle to get out of quicksand. You're just going to dig yourself deeper. The more angry and frustrated that you get that you're having these ruminations, the more you're triggering your stress response, the more your triggering adrenaline to be dumped, which is going to keep you from getting to sleep. Recognize that these ruminations are your brain's way of trying to protect you from a possible threat. It doesn't mean there is a threat in this context at this time. It means your brain saying in the past similar situations you encountered or somebody you know encountered it was dangerous. But it doesn't. Your brain doesn't know about this situation at this time, so you need to redirect it to the present, acknowledge your fear and identify the facts in this context at this time to determine the probability of the threat. Ruminations are your mind's way of telling you that there might be a threat, but each situation is different. The six tools discussed give you a variety of strategies and to begin addressing these thoughts so you can get a better night's sleep.