Sage Advice: Tips for Happy Living

Hey there, everybody. Well, it's been a chaotic 24 hours.

In my life, so I figured instead of doing one of the more serious videos, I would focus on something that is a little more light hearted.

We're going to be talking about 23.

Bits of sage wisdom. I should say 22 bits plus one, because I'm really not sure what the last one means. And you're going to be able to help me with that. I'm your host, Dr. Donnelly Snipes.

Sage advice. Number one, your fences need to be.

Horse high, pigtight and bull strong. Well, that sounds funny, but let's think about what it means. Horse high is high enough that the horses can't jump out and ideally nothing else is going to jump in. Pigs like to tunnel underneath and dig, so you don't want things to be able to get underneath. And bulls tend to push through. So obviously they need to be solid enough to keep things that are supposed to stay in in and supposed to stay out out. What does that mean for mental health? Well, think of these fences as your boundaries. We want to be able to have boundaries that keep the things out that we don't want to come in and, and vice versa.

Fences, like walls around houses, have gates, have doors.

So it's not that we're saying that nothing can ever come in or go out, but we're saying we want to be able to control it.

Number two, keep skunks and negative people.

At a distance because they both end up leaving a stank. Number three, life is simpler when you plow around the stump. This one will also need a little bit of explanation. When you cut down a tree and you leave a stump, if you run over it with the tractor or the lawnmower, it's going to do some serious damage, so you probably need to remove it. But getting the stump out of the ground can be very difficult, especially if it's an old tree.

So sometimes you just want to go.

Around the obstacles that are in your way. You don't want to try to contend with them. You just say, all right, let it be, I'll just go around it.

Number four, words that soak into your.

Ears are whispered, not yelled. Well, that sounds nice and everything. How does it actually mean something? Well, when we are yelled at, it triggers our defensive response. It triggers our fight orf flight response. So we often don't hear what's being communicated to us because we are on, on the defense. When people talk calmly, when they whisper, we are more receptive to what they're saying. Number five meanness doesn't happen overnight.

Next time you encounter somebody who is.

Grumpy, think about it. What might be causing them to act this way? How must it be in their head for them to act, meaning towards you or towards the world? You know, meanness isn't something that people just choose. They wake up in the morning and go, I'm just going to be as obstinate as possible. So we want to think about what led up to, or possibly led up to the way that person acts and have compassion.

Number six, Forgive your enemies.

It messes with their heads. Well, this is a great one because.

It is so true.

A lot of times our enemies expect us to respond in kind, which validates their feelings, which gives them fuel to add to their fire. So they say, see, you know, I had the right to do whatever, or this person is as bad as I am. We when you forgive them, when you shower them with kindness, it basically puts out that fire of aggression. They don't have any fuel to continue to run on.

Number seven, don't corner something that you.

Know is meaner than you. Sometimes it's better to leave certain battles unfought or not to corner people. If you corner, let's say a bull, and obviously a bull's going to be bigger than you, you're probably going to lose. But if you need to get that bull into the barn for some reason.

Instead of cornering it, thinking, how can.

I convince this bull? How can we create a win win? How can I convince this bull that it really wants to go into the barn? So instead of cornering it and making it feel threatened, you work with it. Number eight, you can't unsay a cruel word that's pretty self explanatory. 9.

Every path has a few puddles.

Life is unfair. Sometimes life can be chaotic and paths can be relatively clear. But every once in a while there's going to be a puddle that you've got to figure out how to work around. Or sometimes you jump in it and enjoy it. So don't look at every puddle necessarily as something negative. Number 10. When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty. When you hang out with people that are negative, when you.

Spend time around.

People that are doing things that are underhanded or dirty, it probably will rub off on you or at least your reputation. Number 11, the best sermons are lived and not preached. Obviously we have to hear some things in order to be able to act them out. But this goes to the whole do what you say instead of just being all talk.

12. Most of the stuff people worry about.

Ain'T ever going to happen anyway.

This is so true.

And that's where my FCP approach comes in so handy. Look at the facts of the situation, identify the aspects that are within your control, and then evaluate the probability that the worst thing that you're expecting will happen if you do the things that are within your control to protect yourself. You know, like if you worry about cancer, what are the facts? What are the risk factors for cancer? What are the things that you can do to prevent getting cancer? And if you do all of those things, what is the probability that you are going to get cancer and it's going to be terminal? You know, you may still get it, but if one of the things you're doing is doing your monthly mole checks or whatever, then you'll probably catch it sooner where it can be caught in stage one.

Number 13. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

You don't have to pick every battle that comes along. Sometimes you can just let it go. Sometimes the things that you want to say are not needed and, and unsolicited advice can be taken the wrong way sometimes. So you really need to think, is it the right time to respond? Is it necessary to respond?

And sometimes when we're in an aggressive.

State, state if we're upset about something, it may be better to opt for silence until we can get into our wise mind and speak from that point of view instead of being reactive.

Number 14. Live a good and purpose driven life.

Then you won't. Or then when you think back, you'll.

Enjoy it a second time.

If you look back and you've got a lot of regrets and guilt and those sorts of things, you're not going to enjoy it. But if you live a happy, purposeful life and you can look back and go, I remember when I did that, that made me happy. I remember when I did that. That was a good thing. Then when you reflect over time what you've done, when you go back through your Instagram feed, whatever it is, it'll bring a smile to your face instead of a tear to your eye.

Don't interfere with something that ain't bothering you none.

And obviously I'm from the south, so I don't mind some of these sayings that are not perfectly grammatical.

But it is important to recognize, just.

Like that snake in the path that we talk about, a lot of times it may just be sunning itself and it's not bothering you. You don't bother it, it won't bother you. Think about things before you start trying to change them or fix them.

Sometimes things don't need to be improved.

They're doing well enough as they are.

16.

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance. This can be said about anything. Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of relationships, of job interviews, of just about anything. There are a lot of factors that come into play. You may interview for a job with a company one day and not get it, and an interview six months later and get it. And it could have to do with timing. The team that they were hiring for the first time was not a good fit, but when you applied the second time, voila, it was a great fit.

Same thing with relationships.

Sometimes it's about timing. And I think we've all been in relationships at times where the timing has really just sucked. And at another place in time, it probably would have worked or may have worked, but the way it was, it just wasn't.

Number 17. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing you need to do is stop digging.

This can be in an energy hole. This can be in a relationship hole, a negativity hole. Whatever kind of hole you're in that you're digging yourself into and it's getting darker and colder and more oppressive, stop digging and look and say, what am I doing that is contributing to my digging? And how can I reverse what I'm doing? How can I climb out instead of dig down?

Number 18.

Sometimes you get. And sometimes you get got.

It's true.

We're not going to win all the time. Sometimes we're going to lose. And it's important to recognize that again, life isn't always fair. And expecting it to be fair is going to set you up for a lot of heartache.

It's also important to remember that sometimes.

You'Re going to unfortunately get taken advantage of.

You're going to get snookered.

And you can learn from that and use that information to guide your decisions henceforth. However, you know, you may have had to have that learning experience in order to get there, that knowledge.

19.

The biggest TR troublemaker you'll probably ever deal with watches you from the mirror every morning. That voice inside your head can be very aggressive. It can be very problematic. It can go you to try to do things that are more impulsive. You know, why don't you call in sick today? Because you want to.

So it's important to recognize.

Think about the old Bugs Bunny cartoons where he had an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other one and his head was in between and having to make a decision. But you can be your biggest obstacle a lot of times. So think about the ways that you're getting in your own way and how can you clear that path.

Number 20 Good judgment comes from experience.

And a lot of that comes from bad judgment. We learn things if we're in a relationship and it goes badly, or a job and it goes badly, we can learn from that experience. We may have exercised bad judgment in retrospect, but we can learn from that so it doesn't continue. We don't continue to make the same mistake.

21.

Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in Sometimes it's hard to mind our tongue. It is really easy to gossip. Unfortunately, when we gossip, that generally reflects negatively on our integrity and it can hurt our relationships. So it's a lot easier to gossip and, you know, stir up drama. But if you want to try to regain that integrity and repair those relationships, that's actually a lot harder.

22. If you get to thinking you're a.

Person of some influence, try ordering around somebody else's dog, or for that matter, your own cat. You will quickly learn that there are a lot of things that aren't going to obey your every command.

And it's important to to recognize our.

Place in the world. Recognize that if you're ordering around somebody else's dog, they are the master over their domain and you're the master over your domain. So their dog's probably not going to respond to you.

And I told you those it would be.

22 pieces of sage advice, plus one because I'm not sure what this one means. So I encourage you in the comments section to give your own interpretations. So here we go. Number 23 always drink upstream from the herd. I thought on that one for a while and I just couldn't come up with how that what what that's trying to communicate. So I'm interested in what you have to say.

Journaling prompts for this activity. The first one pick a statement and identify three ways it can improve your.

Health or well being, something that you can hang on to. And hopefully because it was stated in a way that was somewhat humorous, it can also bring a smile to your face.

And number two, which of these statements.

Is the hardest for you to embrace and why? Some of these statements you may hear and you may recoil from and they may make you a little irritable. Okay, well, why? Other statements you may hear and say, yeah, that's good advice, but I have a really hard time doing it. So again, think about why. Why is it hard for you to embrace that statement? Have a great afternoon.