Radical Healing for the Strong Friend, Part 2

Hi, thanks for joining us. We are still doing 30 Days of Radical Healing because it's time to get better in the new year. Today we are talking about helping the strong friend, right? Make sure you check out my part 1 video about Radical Healing for the Strong Friend. That video is about if you are the strong friend. Today's video, part 2, is about if you know or have a strong friend, how that you can be a support for that friend, because the strong friend gets a lot of stuff and mostly feels overwhelmed. So how can you help that person, especially when you're dealing with a person that could be possibly Type A, most, most definitely, and maybe not even acknowledge that they need help? How to help a person like that? Before we go any further, like the video and subscribe to my channel. So my first tip today, I'm offering you 3 tips on how to help your strong friend. The first tip is to acknowledge and realize that this friend is not a superpower. It's not a superhuman. It's not Superman or Superwoman, right? So most times when you're dealing with a friend that is the strong friend, right, that person could make it seem like everything is going right in their world, like everything that they do, they could have a busy schedule, they can make it look easy, they can make it look, um, flawless, like without error, without issue. They can make it look like they don't ever have a breakdown. They can make it look like they're not having a rough day or they don't need help. So the first thing you have to do is to acknowledge and realize that even though that person makes it look like that, no one is above emotions and struggles and challenges. So to acknowledge that that person is not a superhuman, even though they might portray themselves as that sometimes, whether intentionally or unintentionally. My second tip is to 2, ask deeper questions. So when you're communicating, talking with your strong friend, probably what you're going to hear are things like you ask, "How was your day?" They say, "Oh, it was fine," or, "It was good." So what I mean by asking deeper questions are, instead of just going with that, "It was fine," ask about, "So what about your day? What about today was fine? What made it good?" Or if they say, "Oh, things are fine." If you ask about the kids, they say, "Oh, everything's going well with the kids." What's going well with the kids? Give me details, like what is such-and-such doing? How are they doing? Doing it? How are you handling all of that? What has that been like for you? Like open-ended questions. That's how you get to the root of what's going on. Because my guess is what you would usually encounter with your strong friend is that they're used to kind of glossing over things, not being the center of attention, not making people feel like they're a burden or that they need help. Um, because they don't want to take that time up in the, in the space of your relationship. So You have to dig deeper. You have to be intentional and strategic about asking those type of questions that will give you more information. So if you get more information, of course, then you can act on that information, right? So again, that second tip is to ask deeper questions. My third tip is— this one could be very difficult for you— but the third tip is to offer help for your strong friend. Offer help. Even— this is going to be the struggle— even if they turn it down, or even if they're like, "Oh, I don't need it. I'm good. Thank you. Thanks for asking." Offer help and even find ways to help even if they say they don't need it. And I say that because typically what you will see with the strong friend is that they are used to carrying the load by themselves. They're used to not asking people around them for assistance and support. They're used to doing everything, and maybe that's just how they've been conditioned. So they— the first response is going be for them to turn down your help or be like, "Oh, I don't need it. I'm sure you have better things to do," because they do not want to be an inconvenience for you. They are used to being there for you and for other people, but they don't want to have to take your time and energy from other things you're doing. They don't want to feel as though you need to do something for them. So even if they turn the help down, say things like, "Oh no, I'll still be there. I can help, lo. What do you need? And even if you don't need it, I'll be there." So even if You don't need my help. I will just come and sit with you. I'll go with you, or I'll do this with you. So that's a way for you to kind of open a little crack in that door and get in just to be there and be a support, because it could be a very challenging ordeal for the strong friend to allow someone to help them, because it could make them feel weak. It could make them feel like they're getting too much attention. It can make them feel as though they're being a burden on you, and they have been conditioned for whatever reason um, to not do that to people. They don't want to be a burden on people. So you have to take some initiative here and do some of the tips that I've given you today, or all of the tips, to help your strong friend. Or let me put it this way: if you suspect you are friends with someone that might have that strong friend category or title, then try to do some of these things in '22 and see if they can help your strong friend. I'm guessing that you're going to see a very different version of your friend this year if you try some of these things, and it can open you up to a whole new dynamic with your friend, a whole new relationship, and it could really make you start to see that your strong friend is human and has the same struggles that everyone else has, and it could bring you closer. So I hope the tips work. Drop some comments about some ways that maybe you have found that you've been able to help your strong friend. And thanks for joining. Like the video, subscribe to the channel. Thanks. I'm Dr. Jameca Cooper.