Dr. Jameca CooperForensic Psychology Consultant, Emergence Psychological Services · Board Certified Counseling Psychologist and Forensic Psychology Consultant

Why selfcare feels selfish #selfcare #burnoutrecovery #highachievers #mentalwealth

17 Jul 2025 · 1 min

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In this motivational mental‑health monologue, the speaker (Dr. Jameca Cooper) addresses high‑achieving women who repeatedly postpone self‑care activities, such as massage appointments, because they convince themselves they lack time. Drawing on years of therapeutic work and a survey of her female clients, she reveals that roughly 90 % attribute their inconsistent self‑care to a deep‑seated sense of shame that surfaces whenever they consider or engage in self‑care. The speaker argues that this shame‑driven avoidance is not a protective strategy but a self‑destructive habit that can gradually erode health and lead to burnout. She challenges listeners to recognize shame as the hidden barrier and to reframe self‑care as a necessary, non‑selfish act rather than a luxury.

Chapters

So you cancel your massage appointment again because you probably start telling yourself or thinking, "I really don't have time for this. I have all these other things I need to do." But what if this habit you have of putting off your self-care is not really protecting the people around you, but instead it's really slowly killing you? Think about it. And I work with a lot of high-achieving women in therapy. When I surveyed them over the years, what I found is that 90% of them say that the reason they don't engage in consistent habitual self-care is because of the shame. The shame creeps in. When they think about or are engaged in self-care, it triggers shame for them. So think about why is that, especially with women, because you don't usually see that on the other side, right?