Xavier Webb discusses three lessons from Deal With It: choosing people who truly understand you, stopping yourself from overthinking personal problems, and valuing your spouse's perspective on trauma. His wife's commentary in the book gave him insights he wishes he'd had sooner.
So what would you say, what were a couple of things that you got from reading Deal With It?
You've got to have the right people to talk to. If you don't have the right, you can't just talk to anybody about this stuff. You can't. People just don't understand. But you do have, there are people out there, friends, family, loved ones, and put the right group of people together and use those people and you don't Like you said in the book, you don't have to confide 100% with everybody. Certain people can't handle 100%. Yep. When you find the ones that can handle the 100%, don't let that slip away.
Use that opportunity. What would you say was the hardest thing that you had to wrestle with that you read in the book, but it's probably made the biggest difference? Not to stir my own pot. Not to stir your own pot. It's a tough one, isn't it?
Yeah. I need to give somebody my spoon. Like, you know, when I'm alone and I'm by myself, I tend to just stir the shit out of my pot. And I gotta stop doing that. And that was something that I tell myself, you know, other people tell me not to do that. I don't know what you're talking about. I deny it, deny it, deny it. Denial is not a river in Egypt. And I've got to learn to stop stirring my pot.
And that is something that What did you think about when Melissa had her turn writing her section in it, my wife, at the end of each chapter? What did you think of that?
That was so helpful because especially for spouses, military spouses, people want to understand. If you want to understand somebody that has PTSD or any of those type of symptoms, spouses, I encourage to read this book because it was so— I don't know what the word is, but it was so relieving To see her version of it and to hear her say things that I wish that I had heard from my spouse or significant other.
And just, yeah, I forget what I'm going to edit this out. That's alright, bro. What would you say to someone who might be considering to get a hold of Deal With It, but, you know, they're still up in the air about it? Do it. Don't waste any more time.
Don't waste any more time. I'm 31 years old, and if I'd have had this book 2, 3, 4 years ago, I think things might have been different for me. But you can't live in the past. But don't hesitate. Don't waste any more time. Get the damn book and deal with it, because you need to. And it's a life changer. Thank you.
