Kristilynn Turney, Ed.D.Keynote Speaker, Salem Speakers Bureau · TEDx Ensley Ave ED 2026 I Dynamic Speaker & Presenter I Author I Transforming Schools Through Strategic Planning, Leadership Development, and School Improvement I Results-Driven Educational Leader | E

How Asking 'How Can I Help ' Changed Everything

8 Apr 2026 · 1 min

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A teacher asked a struggling freshman named Ivan "How can I help?" instead of blaming him for repeated suspensions. The question shifted his beliefs about himself. Ivan later graduated college and became an NFL player, showing how one caring question can transform someone's trajectory.

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Permission matters. I remember one student named Ivan, tracked toward failure, constantly removed from class, and had been suspended 3 times in the first 2 months of his freshman year in high school. Instead of asking Ivan, what's wrong with you? I asked him, how can I help you? What do you need? Those questions changed everything. Not overnight, not magically, but slowly and steadily. Because when beliefs change, efforts follow. And when efforts follow, outcomes change. I am happy to report that Ivan is now a college graduate and plays in the NFL.