How To Give Yourself Permission To Succeed by Noah St John Feat. Brian Berneman

And that is that so many millions of people are reading and have read these how-to-succeed books, but they never talked about how to actually give yourself permission to succeed.

Thank you so much, uh, Noah, for being here, for taking the time, and for sharing this space with us. And for everyone that is watching or listening to us, um, can you share a little about you? Who is Dr. Noah?

Yeah, absolutely. Well, I'm known for helping people make more in just 12 weeks than they in the previous 12 months while winning their lives back. And both parts of that sentence are very important because there's a lot of people out there, you know, they teach how to make money and how to do that by the hustle and the grind and work 14, 16, 18 hours a day and don't see your kids, don't see your family, and just keep your nose to the grindstone. And my point is, what kind of a life is that? Who the heck wants that? I don't know about you, but I don't want— that's not— that doesn't sound like success to me. That sounds terrible. So I'm the opposite. I like, of course, I help people make a lot of money. I mean, I've helped my clients make over $3 billion over the last 25 years, meaning help people add multiple 6 figures, 7 figures, even 8 figures. But with all of that, it's really about winning your life back. And what I mean is winning back 1 to 3 hours in your day and 4 to 8 weeks per year.

Mhmm.

So the point is, if, you know, if you wanna do the hustle and the grind, then I'm definitely not for you. But if you wanna make a lot more money and have more time, then that's what I do.

Beautiful. Yeah, you know, no, I always tell to people and to all of my clients that they— I often say there's this balance of work-life balance, and I always say life-work balance. Like, I always put the emphasis on that life and to be able to, as you're saying, winning that part back, because a lot of people have, you know, like, have neglected it or have focused on, as you're saying, on a specific part of their life.

Yeah.

and not a well-rounded life. And, you know, each their own. Like, we can all choose our own path. But yeah, this is, this is good. I wanted to know, Noah, how, how did you get into this? Like, can you share a little bit about your, your story?

Yeah, well, I grew up poor in a rich neighborhood. And I know that's a total cliché, but it's totally true. I grew up in this little town called Kennebunkport, Maine, which is one of the wealthiest communities in New England. But my family was dirt poor. And I mean that literally because we lived at the bottom of a dirt road in a drafty, unfinished house that my parents ended up losing to foreclosure when I was just 15 years old. From, so from a very young age, I was painfully exposed to the gap, the chasm between the haves and the have-nots. The haves was everyone else in the community. The have-nots was my family. And, you know, you hear a lot of speakers, they'll get up on stage like motivational speakers or whatever, and they'll say, well, we were poor, but we were happy. We didn't know we were poor. Well, in my family, we freaking knew we were poor because my mother, bless her heart, reminded us every day that we were poor and miserable. So no, it wasn't happy. It sucked. And so, you know, I hated that life of poverty. I hated being poor. I hated that life of poverty, fear, lack, not enoughness. That's what I grew up with. But because I saw that right down the street, there's great wealth and abundance. So I literally said, from the time I was a little kid, how the heck do I get from here to there? And of course, there was no one to help me. There was no internet back then or no coaches or all the things that we have today. So I did the only thing I could think of to do, which is I went to the library and I went, I read every book in the self-help section, every book in the success section, you know, all the classics, Dale Carnegie, Napoleon Hill, Stephen Covey. I read every book and I really, really immersed myself in the traditional success literature that existed. And I really, really tried to get it to work. So I spent just an insane number of hours reading all these books and working really hard. The problem was, as hard as I tried, as hard as I worked, I just couldn't get it to work. And so at the age of 25, I was so depressed. I was frustrated. I was, you know, working at a dead-end job and, and it just, it wasn't going anywhere. And so I said, you know what? I don't wanna be here anymore. And I decided to, to take my own life. I decided to commit suicide at age 25.

Wow.

Now, at the very last moment, my life was spared. But I didn't know why. And I was like, I don't know why I'm here. And so I realized I've gotta find my purpose here on the earth. I, I've gotta figure out what am I here? What, why am I here? And so I did the only thing I could think of to do, which I went back to the library. And this time I read every book in the spiritual section. And, you know, all the, the, the classics of the spiritual thinkers of our time, Marianne Williamson, Deepak Chopra, Louise Hay, Ernest Holmes, and people like that. And so fast forward 5 years later in 1997, I had these epiphanies when I realized exactly what was missing in all those traditional success book that I'd spent all those years reading. And I realized exactly what was missing and what no one was talking about. And that's when I realized, well, I've gotta write my book. And then that was when I discovered my purpose here on the earth. And I wrote my first book. It was called Permission to Succeed, and it was subsequently published by the Chicken Soup for the Soul publisher in 1999. And now 24 books later, you can see some of my books that I've written. Back here. These are some of my books that are in other languages. I've been published in 18 languages around the world. And, you know, we have helped our clients add, as I mentioned, you know, over $3 billion. And really, that's how it all started. It started just really from my frustration with the success literature and the success teachings that were out there and why weren't they doing the job. And, and, you know, that's what I've been able to do is really fill in the gaps.

Wow, thank you for, for sharing that. You know, it's always so interesting for me to, to hear everyone's stories because, you know, a lot of times we see people where they are now, you know, and, and we don't see what they've been through and, and what led them to that and how they found that purpose and how they find what, what it is that they are here, here to do. So I'm curious, um, Noah, You're mentioning, okay, you read all of these books, you tried all of this, this didn't work for you, then you read all of these books, and suddenly something clicks and changes. What are some of those gaps that you're saying that you have filled?

Yes, well, one, the reason that I wrote my first book, Permission to Succeed, was because I realized that that was one of the missing pieces that no one had talked about. And that is that so many millions of people are reading and have read these how to succeed books, but they never talked about how to actually give yourself permission to succeed. And so really what they did was they started on page 1 saying, okay, here's how to succeed, which makes perfectly logical sense, right? I mean, everybody wants to succeed. Everybody wants more money, more happiness, more wealth, more abundance, and all that. So of course, why wouldn't you do that? But what I realized, one of the things that I realized was that, wait a minute, We've been reading all these books. How come we're not successful? And I realized it's because of this thing that no one was talking about. And I actually, I mean, you could say I've written 24 books on this one subject, which is, as I call it, how to get rid of your head trash, your head trash, which is the very thing that is stopping you from allowing yourself to succeed in the first place. And so the way that I teach that You know, whether with my clients, whether it's one-on-one or group coaching, I talk about this subject called head trash. Now, what does that mean? Well, when you think about your goals, when you think about the things that you want, you know, whether you want to, you know, make more money in your business, you wanna lose weight, you wanna be happy, you want to find love, you want to have a happy marriage, whatever it might be. And we all have different goals, but we all have pretty much the same goals. Right? We all pretty much want the same things in life. But what I realize is that when most people set their goals, the very next thing that happens is, so let's say, let's use an example. Let's say, well, you know, I wanna make more money in my business. I wanna, you know, make an extra $10,000 a month or $50,000 or $100,000 a month, whatever the number is, it doesn't really matter. So, you know, let's say I wanna make more money in my business. But then the next thing that happens for most people, they have an unconscious belief that says, I probably can't do it. You know, well, I want this thing, but, ah, I can't do it. And then what's very interesting is they say, I can't do it because dot dot dot. And then they just fill in the blank. Well, because so, like, I have people say to me, Noah, you know, I wanna grow my business, but I don't have the time. Or I, I want to, you know, have an online course, or I wanna write a book, but I, I don't know where to start. Or I wanna spend more time with my family, but I don't have the money. I can't afford it. You know, so we all have these excuses of why we can't do these things that we want. And what's fascinating about that is whatever you say after the word because is in fact the very thing that's holding you back. So let me give you an example. So I was talking with one of my clients, and I, I, you know, this is where we start with all of our coaching clients, whether it's one-on-one or, or group coaching. And I was asking him about this very topic, and I said, you know, his name's Charles. I said, Charles, how much do you think it's gonna cost you if we don't take out your head trash over the next 12 months? You know, just in the next 12 months, how much do you think it's gonna cost you if you keep holding yourself back? And he said, without batting an eye, he said, $1 million. Noah, I'm easily gonna lose out on, or it's gonna cost me $1 million if I don't fix this problem. And, you know, he'd been reading my books, so he was familiar with my work and my philosophy and, you know, how I'm different. And so he, he really got it right. And he said, $1 million. I said, well, first of all, Charles, you know, I hear this every day. People say to me every day, Noah, if I don't get rid of this problem, it's either gonna cost me 6 or 7 figures in the next 12 months. I mean, that's a lot of money. I don't care who you are. That's a lot of money, right? And so then I said, why don't you just give me 10% of that million dollars and I will find you a million dollars in the next 12 months? In other words, if you give me $1 and I give you $10 back, is that a good deal? And he goes, yeah, that's a, that's a good deal. So he paid me $100,000. That's $100K. That's 100— that's 10% of $1 million, right? So he paid me $100K. I coached him one-on-one for, you know, one year. Now, as it turns out, I didn't find him $1 million in that 12-month period. Instead, I found him $1.8 million in just 10 months. So he gave me a dollar. I gave him $18 back. Is that a good deal? No, that's a great deal. And in fact, he recently sent me an email and he said, and he said, Noah, guess where I am? I'm on a 7-week vacation with my wife. We just bought a new RV with all this money we've got, right? We've got more money than ever. So we bought an RV. We're traveling the Southwest for the next 7 weeks. And he said, not only do I have more money than ever before, I also have more time than ever because of what you taught me.

Beautiful. You know, I, I always think I love the, the concept of head thrash. I work I work a lot with, with people with past trauma, with, you know, like our, our unconscious beliefs. And what you said, it's, it's so important because I hear a lot of times from people talking about, you know, like The Secret and, and, you know, affirmations. And I'm just going to sit here on my couch and I'm going to be like, okay, like $1 million, as you said. And, and then understanding how all of the fears, all of the trauma, all of the beliefs, they are blocking that because it's— we're putting out into the space, whether that is internally, never, as you call it, that head trash, or into the universe, depending on how we want to see it, is we're saying the 1 million and no, yes and no, yes and no, yes and no. And then it's like, well, like you're saying yes and no, that's a no.

Yeah, exactly. Right. And so, you know, there are so many people, I mean, let's face it, the majority of people are suffering from head trash and they don't even realize it. They don't even realize this trash that they're carrying around. And so one of the things that my coaching and my books and my training does is it enables you to bring it to your conscious awareness. Because if you're not even conscious of it, how can you possibly make a change? Well, the answer is you can't because you're not aware even of what you're doing. And that's why when I discovered it, you know, way back in, you know, over 26 years ago now. It was like a lightning bolt moment for me because I'm like, oh my gosh, this describes my whole life.

Mhmm.

My whole life, I have been holding myself back from the level of success that I'm capable of, and no one has ever talked to me about this before. All they said was, well, you know, keep working hard and believe in yourself and say these affirmations and it'll all work out. I'm like, I'm doing everything you said. No, it's not working at all. You know, and I, of course, came to find out there's millions and millions of people just like me. So what I did was I was able to give a voice to the voiceless and just say, hey guys, this isn't working. I'm not even saying what you're saying is wrong. But it's just that you missed a whole bunch of stuff that millions of us really, really need.

Yeah. And, you know, I really, really resonate with that because I know, like, from my own experience and from a lot of the people that I have worked through the years, it's, it's that weird the ones that are holding ourselves back from the different beliefs of you, what you said about, you know, that permission to succeed.

That's right.

We don't know that we're doing that. This is why I love working with the unconscious and bringing that into the conscious. I love doing that work because it's that, you know, self-worth or the confidence or whatever it is for each of us that might be slightly different. But as you're saying, majority of people, you know, these things don't work. Like, a lot of times I say to Lee, you know, like, I was talking with someone some years ago and they just came back from this, um, weekend retreat from, like, from this, um, I can't remember the name of this person, which is quite well known. And I was like, how many people were there? And they were like, ah, there were thousands of people. And I'm like, for how many did this actually work? Like, how many actually achieve that success financially, that, that's what they want there. And I was like, oh, most likely, you know, like 1%, which is great for that 1%, but what about the other ones? You know, what's, what's, what's the— as you're saying, like, what's the space that is missing? What's, what's the missing piece that we can't actually use all of those tactics or ways to, to achieve whatever level of success that looks for us in our, in our life. And you mentioned there, Noah, that the word affirmations, um, and I know that you use instead of affirmations, you use the word affirmations. Can you share a little bit, uh, what, what's that and how did you come, uh, to that? And yeah, and share a little bit, what's, what's the difference there? Absolutely.

So just for the folks listening at home, so this is what I invented. It's called Afformations.

Okay?

So this, I'm known as the father of Afformations because this is my invention, what I invented, and 26 years ago. So if you go to, it's spelled A-F-F-O-R-M-A-T-I-O-N-S, Afformations. And you can go to afformations.com and learn more about my Afformations method. Which is now used by over 3 million people all around the world. So as, of course, everybody listening to this program knows what an affirmation is, right? That's the old way of doing it. So the old way says, well, you know, you say these positive statements over and over again and you write 'em down and you say 'em all, you know, a bunch of times, and then it will change your beliefs and it'll magically give you what you want. Now, for many people that worked just fine. But for millions of us, it didn't work at all because we've all been reading the books. They all say the same thing. And so that was one of my main frustrations 26 years ago when I, when I had my epiphany, when I realized this, because I was doing everything they told me. Every book says the same thing. Write them in the positive, say them out, write them down. But so I had all these Post-it notes all over the walls of my apartment, and it said, you know, I'm happy, I'm rich, I'm successful. And the reality was, no, I'm not. I'm broke, unhappy, and miserable. So no, it's not working. And so I was actually in the shower one morning, in my books and my training programs, I, in my coaching, I call it the shower that changed everything. You know, because I'm sure most people listening to the program have had that aha moment in the shower or the bathtub, right? I mean, this goes back to the ancient Greeks. It's been around for many, many years, millennia, right here on Earth. And we just, for some reason, it's associated with water, right? And we get that epiphany or that aha moment. And so for me, it was the shower that changed everything when I realized, wait a minute, They've been telling us to do this one thing, which is say these statements over and over. But that's when I realized, wait a minute, the human mind actually responds automatically to questions. So why are we going around making statements we don't believe when the human mind responds automatically to something even more powerful, the power of questions? And so one of the things that I like to do in my keynote presentations as a keynote speaker, whether it's live or virtually around the country, around the world, I'll say to my audience members, okay, everybody, we're gonna say a statement, an affirmation, just like they taught us. And everybody say, I am rich. And everybody goes, I am rich. And you know what happens next? Everyone starts laughing. And I go, what are you laughing at? And they go, well, I'm not rich. And I say, but you just said you were. And they go, yeah, but I don't believe it. See, now isn't that the problem with the old way? Right? We say these positive statements, we wanna believe them, but, you know, most of the time we just don't believe it. In fact, did you know that a scientific study was done on this very topic? And it actually showed that 75% of people found— they found that 75% of the people that use the old way, the old affirmations method, actually end up more frustrated than before. And because it just doesn't work. So imagine, imagine if you had a phone that didn't work 3 out of the 4 times you went to use the phone. You'd probably get a new phone, wouldn't you? Well, that's what I invented, a new phone for your mind. Right? So my affirmations method, rather than saying a statement like, I'm happy, I'm rich, I'm successful, and your brain goes, no, you're not. So instead you affirm and you affirm an empowering question. Why am I so happy? Why am I so rich? Why am I so successful? Why am I always in the right place at the right time? Now, when you affirm instead of affirm, you're actually changing your subconscious thought patterns. Because of neuroplasticity, you're automatically restructuring your very brain. And so that's one of the reasons why my clients, you know, using my Afformations method along with everything else that I do, are able to double, triple, and quadruple their income in a very, very short amount of time. In fact, I'll give you an example. I have a group I talked about, you know, one of my one-on-one clients a moment ago. And then I also have a group coaching program called the 12-Week Breakthrough. where I help people make more in just 12 weeks than they did in the past 12 months while winning their lives back. So one of my clients is a business owner in Arizona named Tamisa. Now, she is a self-proclaimed recovered seminar junkie. That's her words, right? So she was going to all these seminars, you know, kinda like what you were just talking about and, you know, going to all the gurus and there's, you know, all these people. But, and she was doing well. She was doing 6 figures in her business. So But she just kept hitting that income ceiling, and she couldn't break through no matter how many seminars, how many gurus she went to. And so she came to me. She joined my 12-week breakthrough program because she had been reading my books, and she realized that what I do is different. My approach is different, and that's why my clients' results are different in a really, really positive way. And so she joined my 12-week breakthrough. In 2 weeks, she tripled her investment. Just two weeks, she tripled her investment. Now we hadn't even gotten to the money part yet, but that's how powerful when you start using my affirmations is. I mean, to triple her investment in two weeks before we even started talking about money.

No, no. You know, no. I I really I really resonate with with what you're saying for for two reasons. One, when I was younger and and I was introduced to to a lot of the Buddhist teachings, one of the most powerful things that one of my teachers told me was. the power of questions. He said the answer is not the important thing, it's the question. And then the other thing, you know, you were saying the Post-its— I have Post-its and I've had Post-its on my walls as well. Um, in those Post-its, I don't write the affirmation as you said, like, I am happy. Like, I actually— I haven't done it as a question, so I might try that now that you're saying this. I, I actually write it as a gratitude, as a gratitude of thank you for the happiness in my life.

Right.

Thank you for the abundance in my life. And I realized that for me that worked because I got to an understanding for myself that by being grateful of what I have and creating the opening of the potential more on that Then that's right. That, that allowed me to not doubt it because I already have what I have. So if I'm grateful for that, you know, there's no doubt that isn't going to get in the way. There's no unconscious belief that is going to say, no, you don't have this. It's like, well, I already have this. Right? Yep.

That's a great way to do it too.

And I wanted to talk a little bit. You know, you've been doing this for a long time. Um, when, when you do this and you connect with so many people, what are some of the things that, besides those, you know, beliefs that you're saying that people cannot give themselves the permission, um, have you noticed anything that, that comes in terms of some patterns of behaviors or habits that, that, you know, like once people make that transformation, they start to exhibit?

Yeah, absolutely. And so one of the biggest problems that people come to me with is procrastination. You know, that's a habit that is costing a lot of people a lot of money. You know, just like when I was talking about my client Charles, you know, that was one of the problems that he was having. He was putting these things off even though he knew he should be doing them. He just wasn't doing them, and that was costing him money. And of course, this is very, very common. We see, you know, lots and lots of people doing that. And so, you know, that's one of the reasons that, or that's one of the ways that I'm able to help my clients, whether it's one-on-one or group coaching, is to really overcome this habit of procrastination. You know, without going too far down the rabbit hole, you, you basically, you just wanna understand, number one, what is it you're procrastinating on? And then number 2, understand what is causing that behavior. Because what happens is a lot of the times the gurus said, well, you know, if you're, if you're procrastinating, just stop procrastinating. Really?

Wow.

I never thought of that. That's really great. Thanks a lot. You know, it's like, it's basically like saying, well, if you wanna lose weight, go ahead. Really? That, that, that's it. I mean, you know, there, there's nothing, they're not saying anything. So anyway, the point is we've gotta understand what is actually causing that procrastination. And basically it always comes down or, or almost not, you know, 99 times out of 100, it's fear, right? And so one of the things that I help my clients with is to, remind them and show them that everything you desire is on the other side of fear. So, you know, going back to what I was saying earlier, you know, you wanna make more money, you wanna lose weight, you wanna be happy, you wanna have, you know, find your soulmate, whatever it might be. It doesn't matter what it is. Everything that you want, everything you desire is on the other side of fear. So if you're not ready or willing to confront that fear, that's really probably why you're procrastinating. And so we get underneath the fear. And then we're able to actually really see great results. I'll give you another great example. Another one of my clients who's in my 12-Week Breakthrough Program, her name's Katherine. She's a business owner in Pennsylvania. And she came to me and she was in a, had been in a very dark place. Now that's her words, not mine. And, you know, she'd been, she'd been trying a lot of gurus and seminars and things. It just wasn't working. And, you know, things weren't so, so great for her. And so she joined my 12-Week Breakthrough Program. She sent me an email in week 5 and she said, guess what, Noah? I just raised $185,000 in private money today. In one day, she raised $185,000. And she said, I couldn't have done it without what you taught me. She said, because you believed in me, now I believe in myself. And that's powerful. $185,000 one day. That's a great ROI.

You know, I, I, a lot of times I, I, I tell a lot of a lot of people, the— what you're saying with fear, the, the courage, like that courage that it takes, um, to, to do this work on ourselves, because it's, it's work on ourselves, as you're saying, that head trash or that unconscious beliefs or behaviors, right? Um, and to be able to have enough courage and to have the, the inner confidence that we can do it. And I love what you just said because, you know, a lot of times a lot of my clients, they tell me, you know, like, ah, like, you, you, you, you know, you told me that I could and then I believed. And I'm like, well, but you believed. Like, a lot of times we do need someone that can give us that confidence or something, but then we are the ones that need to work that. We are the ones that need to have the courage to be like, Ah, I've been the one holding myself back. There's all of these fears. And as you're saying, everything that is on the other side of fear, how can we get there? What's the courage that we need to take? What's that confidence that we need to have in order to, to be able to do that and to, and to change our lives? Because at the end of the day, I know, you know, like, I am the one in control of my life, as far as I can control things. But I am the one that can do something about my life. You cannot do anything for me. You can enable me and support me and be there for me, but you cannot do it for me.

That's right. You got it. That's right.

Uh, no, I, I wanted to, to ask you before we start to, to wrap up this, this conversation, 2 things. The first thing is, um, I, I usually try to, to ask this. This might be something that, that you already say, What's one thing that you wish everybody that is listening to us that they would know?

Well, I would encourage everyone to start using Afformations. All right. So to start afforming instead of affirming. Okay. So, you know, if you've been frustrated by affirmations, which millions of people are, um, you know, try Afformations over, you know, there are millions and millions of people around the world using my you know, my method and really getting amazing results. So I would encourage you to, if, if your affirmations aren't working the way you want, try Afformations, afformations.com.

Beautiful. And lastly, now, I know you have some, a new book. Can you share a little bit about this, this new book as well? And where can people find it?

Yeah, absolutely. So one of the things that I do is I help people add 6, 7, or 8 figures to their business. So I wrote a book called The 7 Figure Expert. And the subtitle is Your Ultimate Guide to a Life of More Impact, Influence, and Financial Freedom, which is, of course, what we all want, right? We all want more impact. We want to know we're making a difference. We want more influence. And, of course, we want that financial freedom. So because you're listening to this program, all you have to do is go to 7figureexpertbook.com. Easy to remember, 7figureexpertbook.com. Now the book is free. I've covered the cost of the book for you. We just ask you to cover the shipping. Alright. So we ship anywhere on planet Earth, you know, wherever you might be. So 7figureexpertbook.com and, you know, grab a copy. And that's so you can have that impact, that influence, and that financial freedom that, you know, we all want. And also, by the way, I'll just mention real quick that if you want to learn more about my 12-week breakthrough program, just go to breakthroughwithnoah.com. Easy to remember. breakthroughwithnoah.com. I'm known as the Breakthrough Coach. And when you go to breakthroughwithnoah.com, you can watch an 11-minute video training that I did, which gives a really nice overview of what I, what I do, how I do it, and what makes it different. You can also see dozens of case studies and success stories from my clients who I've helped to make a lot of money. And then if you want to, you can also book a breakthrough consultation with me or one of my coaches, and we'll see if this is a good fit for you at breakthroughwithnoah.com.

Beautiful. Thank you, Noah, so much for sharing. For everyone listening, 2 things. One is actually, if you resonated with anything, let us know, send us a comment, keep this conversation going, and go and check out those resources that Noah just mentioned— his book, the programs. Um, because a lot of times, you know, when we don't act, then it's just information, it doesn't really matter. We need to act, we need to do something about it. Um, but yeah, let us know if anything resonated. Would love to, to keep this conversation going. Thank you so much, Noah, for, for taking the time, for sharing with us, um, and to, you know, for sharing with everyone that is listening.

My pleasure.

Thank you. Thank you once more, and thank you everyone for listening, and we'll see you all on the next episode.