Embracing Spiritual Wellness This Holiday

Hi everybody. I'm Dr. Sandhya Moldovan, periodontist and nutritionist. Welcome to the Holistic Dentistry Podcast, the show that gives you the tips and tools to detoxify your mouth for a healthier body as we explore together the.

Root cause of disease.

Remember, you're not healthy until your mouth is healthy, so take care of it in the most natural way.

Welcome everyone to a special Thanksgiving episode of the Holistic dentistry show. I'm Dr. Sandha, your host, and today we're joined by Kathy Namvar. She is my friend and spiritual psychologist. And together we will be exploring how spirituality, mental health and some dental wellness in their intertwined, especially during this holiday season. So Kathy, welcome to the show.

Dr. Sanda, hello. Thank you for having me.

Oh, it's my pleasure. I'm really looking forward to talking today about how we can stay sane during the holiday season because, you know, a lot of us are just faced with family dynamics, we're faced with shopping stress. I was at the mall just over the weekend and it was insanity. It made me clench my teeth so badly. Yeah, just sit here for five minutes and ground myself and do a meditation, a tool that you taught me just so I could, you know, navigate through the traffic out there. So I wanted to do the show with you on Thanksgiving Day. And by the way, happy Thanksgiving, everyone. Like, you and I met, like if I can't remember, probably 10 years ago or so when I was really struggling with finding an office space, kind of figuring out how my practice would look like. This is before I had Beverly Hills Dental Health and Wellness, before I had a multi specialty biological practice. We had sessions together.

Yes.

And then you really helped me see the ideal scene, you know, this ideal scene exercise that we went through and to really. We jotted down absolutely everything that I wanted in terms of what the place looked like. Feelings like light, music, fragrance, everything.

Right.

You know, that the place actually popped up.

It's been Such an honor, Dr. Sandha, witnessing your life transformation and your joy and your life and the offices that you've opened and the service that you give. And I'm also your client and you're my dentist. And you know, every time I walked into your office, I am just in awe of the detail, the kindness, the attention, everything that you put so much love and attention to. And it's just been an honor working with you and.

Same here. And I'm excited, you know, to give us some of your wisdom today and some tools on how to cope with stress in life and especially how to be thankful and what Is spiritual psychology. Maybe we'll start there. How did you first start in the world of spirituality?

So, you know, as long as I can remember, I've always been very sensitive, very empathetic as a child growing up, always very intuitive. I just saw the world through different lens growing up and it always felt very isolating and lonely because I just saw things a lot of people around me couldn't see. So growing up I always felt really different and it was kind of an isolating place to be. And about, I would say. Ten years ago, my friend invited me to a introduction night at University of Santa Monica where they offer a two year program on spiritual psychology. Getting your master's in spiritual psychology.

So what did you get out of that introductory session? Did you say, aha, this is for me?

Oh my God. Dr. Tan. I remember I had never felt so connected and so aligned with something in my life, you know, like, you know, how we do things and we feel and we get a maybe or I don't think so, but I had such a big yes. And at the end of the night they said, you know, here are the applications if you want to sign up. I literally went into my car and was filling it out in my car even before I got home because I was surrounded with people that I felt are so much like me. And we kind of spoke the same language. And my teachers, Ron and Mary Hallnick spoke my language and I'm like, oh my God, I finally found my tribe.

And their soul language. That is. They spoke to your soul?

Spoke to my soul. And I went home and you know, I had four young kids by then at that time. My youngest was three or four. So yeah, and it was like 11 o' clock at night and I woke up my husband and I said, I have. This is so important, I need to talk to you. I found my purpose. You know, this is exactly what I've been looking for. You know, I just need you to tell me, will you support me into going to get my master's for the next two years? And he didn't even question it. He said, definitely. I see how happy you are. It was nice for my husband to also be on board and partner.

So what is spiritual psychology?

So spiritual psychology is like a branch of psychology that focuses on the study of human spirituality and how it relates to mental health. Basically. University of Santa Monica, there's 33 principles of spiritual psychology and the school is an experiential school. So you basically go there and your teachers teach you one of the principals and we would get into trios with other students, and we would learn to apply it into our daily life. And we would take it home, apply it to our life, and experience it and write about it, and then go back to school and talk about how that principle has shifted our life.

Wow, that's beautiful. Can you give us an example, like, how it helped you in your life?

Yes, I have many, many examples. But, you know, before going to usm, I kind of felt. And I talked to you about this, Dr. Sanda. I always felt like I was walking outside of my body. And I don't know if that really makes sense, but I didn't feel like I was living my life like I was living someone else's life.

I think a lot of people can relate to this because especially, you know, if you come up in a, like, culturally, and you're expected to be someone and, you know, as a mother, as a role of a mother, or, you know, you're expected to be a professional, you're expected to do this, you're expected to dress nice.

That's.

I think a lot of people listening can relate to that, what you're saying.

Very true. I come from a very, like, rich, rich culture, and there's a lot of limitations on how far you can go in your life. There's a lot of limited beliefs. And I never grew. I always kind of was the black sheep in my family, and I had to just do things my way. It just when things didn't feel right, I couldn't force it. And USM really taught me how to live the way I want to live. Like, not in the Matrix. You know, we're all living in the Matrix. You're born and you should do this, and then at a certain age you should do this. And, you know, at a certain age you need to be married, and certain age you need to have children. And people really struggle with that because, you know, it's kind of like being in the imprisoned. It's a lot of limitations. And for example, I had four young kids. And mothering, to me is one of the most important roles in my life. I take it really, really seriously. And I really raised my kids really differently after my USM education. And the main reason why is that I raised my kids as they were kind of my teachers in life rather than me imposing on them. I learned from them and I learned when we had challenges. I realized a lot of it was my own projections from my own childhood. So it really takes you on a deeper level of looking at yourself and your relationships, yourself and your children.

Yeah, that's great, because I think that's so important, especially today with all the distractions, social media. I think it's so much more difficult to raise children today. So that's great that you were able to just maybe. Did it help you give them more freedom, or how did you raise them differently?

Basically, the way we spoke about things when we had challenges, it was really different in the sense that I would take responsibility with the way I talk to them. It wasn't like, you know, you need to do this. You need to be there at a certain time. For example. I'll give you an example. Dr. Sanda, my eldest daughter, who is 21 now and she's in college, she has a very, very strong personality, and she's extremely independent, and she's very, very outspoken, and she really goes after what she wants in life. And she was always like, she was born like that. And I had a lot of challenges with her when she was, like, 12 or 13, because she came across, like, very bossy and very demanding. And we work on all. All our relationships when we're at usm, which is really beautiful because it changes all your relationships. And I chose to work with. On my daughter in my relationship project. And I really realized the reason I show up like this with my daughter is because I am so triggered by her. Because when I was her age, I rarely ever spoke up for myself. I never asked for what I wanted. You know, I didn't feel like I was worthy. And so I would, like, push it all in. And I realized the reason she's triggering me so much is my inner child is screaming like, you know, why didn't. Why wasn't I able to speak up for what I wanted or ask mom and dad when I wanted to do something? So being aware of that and understanding that first, you can go back and heal your inner child and have a dialogue with her and form a different relationship with her. And once you do that, that voice quiets down and you can have a totally different relationship with your child. Does that make sense?

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I think. I think a lot of times, you know, I notice when I get triggered as well is because of something that I have to deal with that I haven't dealt with and maybe put it off. So, definitely, I think doing this kind of work is important for all of us to just be more at peace within and have conversations that are calm. Yeah, I'm glad that, you know, brought a different. Different perspective with your kids. And speaking of family dynamics, you know, it is Thanksgiving Day, and A lot of people are faced with family dynamics. So any words of spirituality regarding how do we. How do we cope with the family dynamics? And, you know, to avoid us clenching our teeth during the entire Thanksgiving dinner. Any tools that you have for us.

Yes, I can totally understand. It can be really stressful, especially for me. I come, I mean, I think on my Thanksgiving, we're gonna be over 50 people.

Wow.

From a really big family. So I also have to really get ready for myself before I walk in to the door because there's so much energy coming at me, and I'm very sensitive, and I know a lot of people are very sensitive to energy. So before I go to these events, I usually sit for about 10, 15 minutes and I meditate. I go in so I can kind of be aligned and I can ground myself and I can release whatever that's going on in within me. Right. Because, like, if we're very triggered and we walk into a stressful situation, it's even more triggering. But if we're in a place of peace within ourself before we walk in, we can handle things a lot more gracefully.

That's great. Yeah. Very, very important. And sometimes, you know, we can do that in our car right outside of the, you know, whatever house we're visiting.

Yes. So, yeah, just, you know, do it like a quick meditation and some affirmations about, like, what is your intention for your Thanksgiving lunch? Just really clear about what you want. You know, you want to maybe have a healthy communication with one of your family members or, you know, to show up with more joy. Just being clear about what you want the next two hours to look like kind of visualizing it before you walk in.

Yeah. Because our way of being, I do believe, influences our environment.

Exactly.

Like, showing up with more joy and peace can change the dynamic in a space. Yes.

And honestly, what I always do, Dr. Sonder, like, we don't have to stay somewhere for a long period of time. You know, we can make it short and sweet and make the best of the time that while we're there. And after that, just go do something else that you enjoy.

It's a great idea. Yeah. You don't have to stay for five hours. You don't have to. Uncle Harry's house. Right. You can just limit it to 45 minutes to an hour. Very true.

Remind everyone that you have another appointment, you know, that you. You've committed to and that you have to leave at a certain time.

Yeah.

Creating boundaries is just. That's another thing. We can talk about another time. But like boundaries are so important. If you don't have boundaries, people can step all over you. So just creating healthy boundaries and being self honoring to yourself.

I like that idea of boundaries because I think lack of boundaries can create a lot of stress in someone's life.

Yes.

And we think sometimes that we don't have any control. And you know, setting boundaries is something that I have to learn, you know, in my life because I was the kind of person that, you know, like, sure, you know, I'll do this and I'll bend over backwards. You know, I have a patient that needs couldn't come a certain day and I'll do. I love to help people, but sometimes it's very draining for me. And I have, I had to learn when my batteries were empty and when I had to recharge and create certain boundaries so I could show up at my best for people.

And that must feel so liberating, right?

It is, absolutely. So setting boundaries, is that something that you work with your clients on, boundary setting?

If that's what they're requiring, that they need to build a lot more boundaries in their life with their children, with their families, with their work. That's something we can definitely work on. And I honestly, I'm a very busy person. I have four children, I have a very busy life. And if I don't have boundaries in my life with my mother in law, with my family, it's almost impossible, you know, because you end up resenting them and you know, you can take control back and lovingly set boundaries. It doesn't have to be in a mean way.

Absolutely, yeah. So how do you, what did you do after graduation? You started working with clients?

So after I got my master's in spiritual psychology, I went for another six month certification to get my certification. And being a life coach, which was incredible because they kind of taught you the more business side of it, transactions, documents, agreements, and how to be successfully a coach and how to relate to your clients. And we had to get a lot of hours and work with clients and I got my certification after that.

Okay, and what kind of clients do you see? Like, do you specialize in something specific or is it more like, you know, soul support, I guess to call it?

So most of my clients are women and mothers. You know, it's a very intimate relationship, as you know, Dr. Sandha, because it's not just like a therapy session that you come in and out, you kind of have a. I build a very deep relationship with my clients and there's phone calls and emails between sessions. So it's, it's a very loving, ongoing relationship that we form. And most of my clients are mothers. Last time I worked actually with a mom, and she got such positive results. Her two daughters that were in high school saw such a shift in their mom and, and they said, can we please also work with Kathy? So for the first time, I also, I worked with the whole family dynamic. I worked with our daughters, and then I had a few sessions with her husband. And literally, like their whole family dynamic and their relationships have shifted so drastically because they all kind of speak the same language now. It's beautiful. You know, I just spoke to her yesterday. She actually said, you know, are you still applying the things that we've learned. She goes as a family. You know, we have dinners together now. We, we speak together now. You know, my husband is taking my daughter on an alone trip. So it doesn't take that much. It doesn't require years and years of therapy, as you know, Dr. Sanda. It's. It's about really being committed and applying the tools into your everyday life.

Yeah, I remember you actually have done a few seminars for our offices.

Yes.

And they were so beautiful. And even my husband actually attended. The last one we did is last December. You have such a way to reach people's souls and to drop their guards and really have us see each other from a soul to soul perspective, you know, without the barriers. And even my husband was so impressed and so touched by a workshop, because actually it is a workshop. It's not even a seminar. We actually have to do work. So some of the tools that, you know, you want to leave people with, you know, on Thanksgiving Day to maybe get more centered, find more inner peace.

Well, thank you also for that beautiful compliment. I really appreciate it. And, you know, my sole purpose in life is, is to be of service and to help people reconnect to all the beauty that's inside of them. Because I see so much beauty in every person I meet. And sometimes we just have to be remembered to help someone remember who they really are and what they're here for. We forget in this crazy world. If it's something I can really leave today with you and all your listeners. Dr. Sandha, is meditation is one of the most important things you can apply in your everyday life. Like, it's so simple and it's so beautiful and it has such an impact on your everyday life. That's basically what I would do. And if you want, we can do something together right now and just kind of go inward and experience this tranquility that we all have the possibility to feel every day.

Yeah, I think it's beautiful because to do something like this, maybe short a couple minutes, what would you recommend people like, let's say they only have five minutes, Would that be enough some days, or would you recommend longer?

Five minutes are perfect, Dr. Sanda. Like, you can just do the best you can, but in my experience, when I close my eyes and I go into this beautiful space of just peace, you're not going to even want to come out of it. Like, five minutes won't feel like anything. But for people getting started, just closing your eyes and just dropping in into your heart. Because we all know our head is crazy and working all day and it just doesn't quiet down. So just practicing dropping in from your head down to your heart and just taking few deep breaths and just being in gratitude and just having this conversation with yourself, getting to sit down with yourself, like, Kathy, how was your day? What's coming up for you, my love? You know, speaking lovingly to yourself, you know, and just like kind of scanning the body and seeing where we're holding tension and bringing awareness to that. Because I've been doing some somatic work, Dr. Sandha, and I've really realized it's the most powerful healing modality. Because when you sit with an emotion like anger, grief, sadness, if you just sit with it and give it love and attention, it will just dissolve and you have to take it with you like a backpack. You know, every day we take things with us and it feels really heavy and exhausting. So if you scan your body before bedtime and kind of look at where all the emotions are in your body because they get trapped and we need to kind of give them the love and attention they need. Sit with it, look at it, give it love, breathe love into it, and it will dissolve. It doesn't need to stay in your body.

I'll tell you, Kathy, during the holiday season, we get more patients with cracked teeth and broken fillings and crowns more than ever. Because I think, as you said, these emotions manifest themselves in the body. And a lot of people hold that stress in their jaws, in their neck and shoulders. I think that's one of the most common places. So really, I think what you're saying is to scan your body and see if you have tightness in the jaw and just to help bring awareness there and to help relax the muscles. Because, yes, you know, as dentists, we can make you a nightguard, but it's not going to help you stop clenching. It's more there to protect it, to protect the teeth. And I think we look at this holistically. We really have to go to the root cause of that clenching, which is emotion, unresolved emotion and stress that we.

Haven'T dealt with that is 100% accurate. And if we can just kind of close our eyes and like, like you said, like massage, massage the area and kind of give it a voice, right? Like have a conversation with it, like, what do you need from me? What am I not paying attention to? If you could give that clenching and that tension in your mouth of voice, what would it say to you? Everything is energy, Everything has energy. And if you allow it to speak to you and to tell you what it needs from you and like having a dialogue, I know it sounds funny, but we have so many different parts to us and if you can kind of label it and give it a voice and have it express itself, it's really, really magical. And that's what I do with my clients. You know, I have them put different parts of themselves and their emotions basically in front of them in a chair and I have them give it a voice and have a, a dialogue with it and it's really, really powerful.

Yeah, that's beautiful. Where can people find you? I know, I know people listening to this, you know, are thinking, you know, I, I didn't know spiritual psychology existed. And you know, I have to say, compared to a traditional psychologist, the session just so much more heart felt and you know, releasing of emotions, not just you asking questions. Well, how does that make you feel? You know, like it's a lot more involved and there's exercises and you know, I remember writing on a piece of paper and burning it and there's just so much more dynamic and releasing than a regular therapy session. So you're so generously actually offering 30 minutes complimentary sessions just to see if it resonates, just if somebody wants to dig deeper into their own emotional intelligence. And where can people find you? Email you?

Yes, I would love to offer for a limited time for Thanksgiving, a 30 minute complimentary call and to see if we're a right fit for each other. And if working with me resonates with you and what you're looking for, you can send me an email. Maybe you can write it at the end of the podcast.

Yes, I'll put it in the show notes below because, you know, you've been so busy. Just the word of mouth clients, like you said, you know, family members referring other family members. I referred patients to you. So clients to You? Yeah.

Yes, yes. So I've been, I've been really busy. I'm blessed, thank God. For the last 10 years, busy back to back and it's all been word of mouth or just getting to know people at different events and it's been magical. And it's a really beautiful relationship. And my goal is to give you all the tools you need to take with you to self soothe so you can be your own. You can be your own therapist, you can be your own life coach. Because I give you so many tools to work with out of your toolbox that you can bring out at any time and work on it.

Yeah. Beautiful. Well, I'm so grateful for you on this Thanksgiving Day for just making my life more soulful in general and my practice, you know, to flourish. I know everything around us is a reflection of what's within. I just encourage everyone to just go within during this Thanksgiving holiday and really look to see what makes you happy, what makes you sad, what do you want to let go of? What kind of tension do you want to let go of that's important because it will be a reflection of your environment.

Exactly. It's all, you know, everything is our inner reality is a reflection and a projection onto our life. It's just, it's beautiful not to be a victim, Dr. Sandhya, and just take full control over your life, over your emotions, over what makes you happy, what doesn't make you happy. And life is so beautiful and life is so short. So why not make the best of it while we're here and just go after all our dreams and I love it.

Let's go. Dreams. I love it. Kathy. Excellent. Yeah. I just wanted to thank you for being here and wish you and your family a very happy Thanksgiving.

Thank you, Dr. Sanda. It's been a pleasure being your friend and working with you and I just really enjoy watching you and your. And your beautiful life and how it's manifested.

Thank you. Well, everyone, thank you for listening and have a happy soulful Thanksgiving.

Thank you so much for joining me this week. Please make sure you check out the show notes for any links mentioned in the show. If you like today's show, please invite your friends to listen as well. That would mean a lot to me. Do you have a question you'd like me to answer? Message me on Instagram. Rsanda, this is Dr. Sandha. And remember, your mouth is the gateway to your health. So take care of it in the most natural and best way possible.