3 Tips when Partnering with Family

Foreign. Hi, it's Dr. Natalie Bitetre. Welcome back to Breaking the Glass Ceiling. We are continuing our series on partnerships. So today we're going to talk about family partnerships. Such a fun and scary topic. This is actually a really important topic, I feel like, because there are so many family businesses and there's not so much information or structure or like points where you can ask or find out things about family business, especially in the African context. So I wanted to share my own experience and what has been useful and helpful to me. All right. So firstly, I think about the context of a family business. What is different in a family business and a partnership is you have emotional ties and connections. Firstly, you can't get rid of these people. It's not like a partnership where if things go wrong, you just agree, you sell your shares, you move on, you never have to say hi again. Families are families. I have seen families where they stop speaking to each other and it's awkward at every wedding for the rest of your life and you don't want that to be you. So when you think about the context and the emotion, I feel like don't pretend it's not there, but also don't let it override things. If you know that you have an emotional connection or trigger or it's difficult with one person, make sure you do what you can to mitigate the situation. For example, if there's a family member who you clash a lot with and you have to work with, have a third person there in meetings and things. So sort of mediate, make sure you all behave, make sure things stay on track and focus. I'm not saying we are perfect at this. We argue all the time about work, at dinner, at the office. Things sort of mix and go together. But it's important that you don't just ignore the context of a family business. And I think when you have family partnerships, personally, I think family is going to be more important than the business. So sometimes you're going to have to back down and not fight to the death. You know, like if it was with a partner and you just have to have your way. You have to also take that into consideration. Sometimes I will be disagreeing with one of my family members about something in the company and I can see us disagreeing is making life harder for the managers and the staff will have to work with us. So sometimes I have to see, is it so important that I am right and I push my point, or can I let this go and let them have their way because it's better for the business so because I know I have to maintain that relationship with my family member, I don't want anything to go wrong in the business. But it's a different type of balance and judgment that you have to take. And because I work with a lot of my family members, when it comes to work, I have to treat you like you are a staff member. Like we all take our jobs seriously. So that takes me to the second point, which is structure. Make sure you have assigned roles. If we are all just family business people, we are all just owners in the business, it's too many cooks. You're all going to disagree, you're all going to try and do the same things, you're all going to neglect the same things. See who is suited to each role. Even in families, everyone has different skill sets, different personalities, different backgrounds, different interests, who is better for which role. Just because it's the firstborn son does not mean he should be in charge. Guys, just saying, think about the business because at the end of the day, you are all living off this business. You need it to thrive. So just forcing family members to take roles that they are not suited to or they don't want doesn't help anyone. Make sure you put the right people in the right structure, in the right system, in the right role, and then give them job responsibilities. Tell them, this is what we expect, expect from you. Agree, as a family, you are in charge of this, you are in charge of this, you're responsible for this. This is what you need to be doing. I expect you to do this. Whether it's managing people, it's being present in the office or in the shop or in the factory, who is doing what. Don't overlap because that's how you're now going to start to argue. You're not going to know who is in charge. And leadership is important. No matter what type of team structure you're on, you need a leader and then you need people to follow the instructions. It's not about who is the boss or who gets paid more, or who is the owner or who is the parents favorite. It's about who, who is best suited for each role and do they understand their role, do they know their responsibilities, the expectations, the reports they have to make. And make sure you're accountable and honest and you report back to the family. Make sure that there's a structure. Whenever I have to work with my family members, I tell them upfront, if you mess up at work, I'm going to treat you like any other manager. Because there are people every day who are looking for this job, who we could hire, but we're giving you an opportunity as a family member to. Because this is your skill set. We want to support you. We're going to trust you with this responsibility. And I will not fiat fire you if something goes wrong. If you're messing up in that job, you have to be removed. We can't let the business fail because of a family member who is arrogant or who is not good at their job. And no one wants to tell anyone, oh, let's not upset them. That's why I'm like, you have to understand the context, but you have to balance. The business still has to thrive, but you can't destroy the relationships in the family. And so that takes me to the third point. Put things in writing. Like I'm saying about job descriptions, even for family members. This is why I have a role. I have an actual title. And I know what my job description is. All my siblings do as well. All my relatives who work in different companies all know their job title and description. They know what they're expected to do. And we have everything in writing. Make sure you still have mous between family members. If you're borrowing money for each other or you lend someone money for a business, write it down, have a payment plan, make sure you hold each other accountable, you are honest, and things are in writing. How many times have you heard someone has died and now the family is fighting? The father was the only one who knew all the assets, where the money is, who does what. Then this one is arguing, this uncle says, they promised me this, this wife said she has this many children, this one has that it becomes chaos. It's not only about having a will, which is very important when you have a business, but when you're working with family, things should be clear. Don't wait to die and leave your family with lots of problems. And also, if you work in a family business, you have the right to know what is going on in the business, what is the legal structure, what are the repercussions? What are our obligations, our loans, who do we owe money to? Who are we supposed to pay on a regular basis? If the founder of that business drops dead today, will the rest of the family manage or will the business collapse? Because the whole point of a family business is to build generational wealth, right? If it all dies with the founder, what was the point? He was just having a fun ride in his life. The point is you're supposed to be able to support your family and their family, and it keeps Going, going. And the only way to do that is to have transparency, is to have structure, is to make things clear, put things in writing. This family member is responsible for this. This one inherits this, this one is supposed to do this. And everyone should know so that we can fight about it when we're all still alive and calm and we agree in an orderly fashion. This is why it's good to have lawyers who are external or mediators. Not everyone in the business should be a family member, but these are the kinds of points I think having worked in a family business for so many years and seen how other families navigate these things, these are the things I've learned that are important and that we also try to integrate on a day to day. And it's challenging. Some days I don't want to answer the phone. I see who is calling, I know which member it is. They're just going to irritate me. But you know what? The business has to run. I have to pick up the phone. We have to discuss things without killing each other. It happens. It's life. But when you work with family, you also have to think about the business. You have to balance the two. I hope you found that useful. If you have any questions about family business, I know this is such a hot topic. It's also a controversial topic. So you can DM me or you can comment if you're having challenges in your family business or if you have questions about this. I know a lot of young women have asked me questions about this because they work in their family businesses and they struggle with these things because no is out there teaching you. This is how you navigate this. I am lucky. I've had so many friends who are in family businesses. I can ask these questions. I can learn from them because they're older than me, they've been through it. And so I'd love to be that resource for you. So let me know if you have any questions or comments and if you enjoyed this video. Make sure you like it and subscribe. Thank you for watching. I'll see you next time.