Being Proactive

Okay, please Twitter, behave, behave, behave. Twitter is not on one second. Happy Friday. Oh, my God, I'm so glad it's Friday. It's been a week. I guess it's always a week. I was talking to someone about that yesterday. Sometimes I feel like I'm always juggling stuff. Like, there's no week where it's like, oh, this was such a nice chill week, I guess, sometimes. But it feels like you're always juggling. So I was asking one of my mentors, do you always feel like you're juggling? Does it ever get better? Do you ever feel like you're on top of things and, like, things are running smoothly? She's like, not really. You just get better at juggling. Make sure you juggle in, like, good things, stuff that you like, too, so that things that are replenishing you and that are filling your cup and that are helping you integrate all these different things in your life. Make sure that they're in the mix so you don't get depleted. I was like, okay, that makes sense. It's not the best news, but, you know, we keep juggling. We keep juggling. Sorry I missed last week. I believe I was not feeling well. And I think it was also family business branding for family business. If there's questions on that, I can answer those questions, too. Today we're talking about being proactive in family business, but it's also the first time we're talking about being proactive. So let's discuss that, then. We'll see what questions have come up. This is a topic I really love because I feel like it changed my life a lot. But firstly, since it's Friday, have you done your Friday Reflections? If you're someone who watches these lives all the time, I really hope by now you're doing reflections. If you are new to this every week, I do ask this question because I think it's important to reflect on your life. And whatever you're trying to change in life, you can't change it unless you are measuring it. You know, you kind of have to know where you are to know and know where you're trying to go. And then you can close the gap, you know, point A to point B. So if you don't really know what you're up to and what you're doing, it's very difficult for you to change or improve. And when I say change, I always mean improve. Change for the better, to adapt. We are human beings. We are very amazing creatures. We can adapt and evolve and change. The other day, I Saw a tweet that said, our bodies are capable of everything and anything. It's only our minds that limit us. And I was like, excuse me. My body. My body has tried this year. We've really improved. But again, I would have never known the things my body could do unless mentally, I was ready to try them. Sometimes I'll be in the gym and my trainer will, like, do an exercise and be like, okay, you go. I'm like, you think I can do that? Are you mad? And I'll try, and I'll be surprised that I can do it. I can't do it well, like her was many times, but I can. And I'm just like, oh, okay. I didn't know. So there's a lot of limitations we have in our mind. I think that's one of the interesting ones because that's something you can change really fast. You can see how your body changes or the things you're capable of physically, once, mentally, you're open to it, and you change the way you think about things. So I think you can do that across different areas of your life, mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Once you remove, like, limiting beliefs or change the mindset or your attitude or how you're coming about things, sometimes even just the words you use to describe something, it can shift what your mind believes. And then your body is able. And in your life, you can make all these different changes and things. So I think it's a very interesting topic. So do your Friday reflections. Think about how the week went. It's helpful to sit and write these down, but you can also sit and do it, like, in your head or on your phone or with a friend while you're in traffic. What's that noise? I don't know what that noise is. Oh, someone clapped. Thank you. I didn't know it could do that. So I think it's something that's very important to do. Ask yourself what went well this week? Because it's always good to start with gratitude. You know, that's another attitude thing when you focus on is what will grow in your life. I remember seeing a meditation thing, and the guy is like, focus is like water, right? If you water the weeds or you water the flower, they will both grow. It's not up to them whether they grow or not. They will grow as long as you water it. So your focus is like the water where you put your attention and your energy. That's what's going to grow in your life. So the first thing you should always put water on is Gratitude. It's good to have a gratitude practice, like in the morning or in the evening or both. Just write down three things you're grateful for every day, whether it's a person or an event or a thing or a food or a child or weather or something, right? And you'll get better and better at it, and you'll get better at noticing the good things in your life. So when you're doing weekly reflections, what are three things that went well this week that you are grateful for? Was it a project? Was it someone thanked you for something? Did you succeed at something? Did you have a win? Like, I didn't know I could do this in the gym and now I did it. Or someone at work said I was very good at something. Or you finally submitted that report or that application that you've been stressed about, or you finally sorted out this family issue that's been bothering you. You know, there's always something that we're doing every week and it's useful to, like, point it out and pat yourself on the back. Shame is not a motivator, unfortunately. A lot of us are, like, conditioned to beat ourselves up or put pressure on ourselves. You didn't do this. You didn't do this. This week was not good because you didn't do this. Y not very useful when it comes to productivity. There's a lot of research and science about this. So you'd rather show yourself the things you do do, like, be happy about them. It will encourage you to do more next week. So if you have a to do list, put a nice big tick or cross something out. You know, it makes you feel good, like you're achieving stuff and then your body and mind and energy is like, I can achieve stuff. So next week you won't be as scared or you won't procrastinate as much. You will achieve. So what went well this week? It's important. Go through it, think about it, reflect on it. There are moments. I'm sure you can think of at least three. Then if you think they're simple or small or silly or you should be doing them anyway, just write them down, acknowledge them, say them out loud. Because well done, you did some good things this week. It's also good to reflect on what didn't go well. But you have to first be strong in what went well. Otherwise, people dwell on this part too long. I get it. I used to do that. But these are areas you want to improve. Were you not polite, like you were rude to someone? Or did you not submit the report you needed to submit? Or did you forget someone's birthday? Or did you forget to attend something? Or are you too tired to go for that networking event? The importance of this is not to beat yourself up. It's to ask yourself, why didn't this go well? So that you can see where did I go wrong and how do I do better next week? If you are too tired to go for that conference that you promised yourself you'd go for because you want to work on your networking, why were you so tired? Did you not get enough sleep? Did you not have lunch that day? Was work super stressful? Were you just scared of that networking event and you really didn't want to go, so you told yourself you're too tired? It's important to ask yourself these questions so you find the problem. The problem is not that you didn't do something. There's an obstacle in there that is preventing you from achieving the thing you want to achieve. So the reflection is useful to understand why aren't I achieving this? You need to think about the goals or the challenges or the things you want to achieve in your life. There's a reason you haven't already achieved them. And most of the time it's not because we haven't tried. So you need to figure out when I'm trying, what am I doing wrong or what in my life is preventing this from happening? Do you really want it? Or you're doing it because everyone has told you that's what you want? Sometimes it's holding us back. Sometimes that's the problem. Your children wake you up at 5:00am every day, so by 9:00 clock you're exhausted. So you, you never make it to happy hour with your colleagues. I don't know. Figure out what the problem is, you know, and what the solution can be. Because once you figure out why you're too tired or why you didn't save enough money or why you forgot to do something, or why you didn't do that report? It's the why. That's where the answer is. There's a really good book called the Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday. It's also something many like coaches and motivating mission people talk about. Whatever you want is on the other side of fear. So sometimes you're really scared of something and that's preventing you from achieving your dream or your goal. But you have to be able to move through the fear and do it, feel the fear and do it anyway. So I think those are like the most important things for reflection. What went well and what didn't go well and how you can improve that for next week. If you're used to doing this and you're ready to do, like more. It's also useful to plan your next week because when you're looking at this and you're reflecting, it makes you think of your priorities. What are your priorities in your life? What are your priorities this quarter? What are your current goals? So when you're reflecting on this week, you might be thinking, okay, next week, how can I do better? So what should I make sure I put in my schedule for next week? Do I need to pack lunch early in the morning so that I don't eat takeaway at lunch? Do I need to put an alarm in my phone to remind me to go to bed at 10pm so that I'm not watching TV and series until 1am and then I'm too tired to go for after work. Networking. What do you need to do? Put it in your calendar, set an alarm on your phone, talk to the person that's going to help you do it. I need to go to the gym next week. I need to text my trainer. I'll be there next week, which is something I need to do. So reflect and see so that you put your priorities into your calendar for next week before life happens and you get busy and you're like, oh, my God, it's Thursday and I haven't achieved any of my goals or priorities this week. I've been busy doing everyone else's things. I've been so busy at work. Oh, I forgot. Oh, I was tired. You know, it's a useful moment to do that. So do your reflections now. Being proactive. I love this word. I love it, I love it, I love it. Why do I love being proactive? As a sentiment. One of my friends called it being intentional. She's much calmer than me and she's more organized. And I really like that as well because I feel like there's a slight difference, but it's in the same, like, boat, you know? You need to find a way that shifts your mindset so that you are being. You're alert in your life. You're the one driving where you're going. You're choosing things actively. I think it's wild how much of our lives is passive. There's so much we do and say and how we are that we just do. And we don't know why we do it. We just inherited it from the culture around us. Our families, society, our friends, what we think we're supposed to do. Our church, our peers, and we just keep going. And it's. It's astounding how much of our life is unconscious. It's like an autopilot. Have you ever been driving and you get distracted and you just drive, like, to a place you go all the time, and it was not the place you were going? That's autopilot. There's so many layers to this. So I feel like it's interesting because your brain does this to conserve energy. So your brain goes into autopilot whenever you're doing something that you do repetitively, like driving home or unlocking a door or the way you get dressed. You know, everyone puts on, like, one foot before the other. Like, is it your right foot or your left foot when you're putting on, like, pants? You know, those are things you don't think about because you've done them so many times. So your brain goes into autopilot mode. It's not thinking, it's not conscious, because it's conserving energy. That's the biology. So now what you have to try and do is see all the things you're doing subconsciously, like, not alert and about. Are you choosing to do it that way? Yeah. It doesn't really matter how you put on your pants, but it matters if you're in a job that you don't really want and you don't really know why you're in that job. But when you were in high school, they told you you're good at sciences, so now you should do this. And now you ended up in this field, and now you're like, do I like this job? Am I fulfilled? Am I gonna grow in this area? Am I prepared to, like, keep learning and pushing? Like, there's so many things that we can just do unconsciously. Even the way you behave, there's so much about your personality. Is it really your personality, or is that the way you were conditioned to be? The other day, I got in an argument with my relatives because you know the saying how they're like, oh, girls mature faster than boys. Yeah. Apparently that's not true. And I read about this. It's because we condition girls to be more responsible from an earlier age. That's how our society is. So of course, by a certain age, they seem more mature because you've been giving them responsibilities that you haven't been giving boys. I felt very outraged when I read that, and it made a lot of sense. So I was arguing with my cousins and my siblings. But there's so many small things that we do and that we are just because of the system we grew up in or the system we're currently in, you know. So I feel like being proactive, being intentional, being more alert about it is a way of maturing. So I feel like until 25, I can forgive you for just going with the flow, going with what everyone has told you. After that, please, you're not a victim. Everyone has problems, everyone has challenges. You have to get in the driving seats of your own life. And the reason I like being proactive is because I, I feel like you really take charge of your own life. You take responsibility, which is one of the first steps, which is something many people don't want. There's so many people older than 25, you can have a 50 year old person who works in your office that will never take responsibility for their actions. And I feel like that's a sad thing. Not just because you frustrate the rest of us, but because it means you are like this in all aspects of your life. You are not in the driving seat. I don't want to use the word control because that's like a touchy subject. Are we ever really in control? And some people are very controlling. I know I'm like that. But there's a difference with being proactive. So now first you need to be alert. If we use this metaphor, it's like you're sitting in a matato, right? And you're the passenger, but it's your life. There are people coming in and out. There's someone else driving, there's a conductor making noise, there's someone selling something. Like there's so much happening, but it's your life. Why are you sitting there and just going where it's going? Yeah, you said I'm going in this general direction. They're not going to drop you at the door, they're not going to go there in the fastest route that you want to go in. They're not going to pass the way you want to pass. But you're just a passenger because you feel like you have no control in your life. This is the life I was given. Let me just make the most of it. Let me sit and go. I know that that is a. It's an easy default setting when you're young. This is my thing. When you are older, I feel like you exposed enough people that you see other people driving and you're like, how come that one is in a car? But me, I'm in a bus just going where the bus is Taking me. When you're young and you don't know any better, your parents are driving, the teacher is driving, your boss is driving, and you don't know that you're allowed to drive. You don't even know how to drive. But once you've been around more than 25 years, I feel like, surely if others are driving, why can't you also drive? Is there something stopping you? Is it that you don't have the ability to learn? Are you just too scared? So you need to figure out those little pieces because it's your life. If that bus goes down the wrong road or gets stuck in jam, you have no one to blame but yourself. Which is a. I know it sounds harsh, and this is not. I'm not saying everyone has the same problems or has the same starting board. I understand that. But no matter where you are coming from or the background you have, or the skills you have, or the opportunities you have, you can make the most of it. You can change where you're going and change how it's working for you. I know it sounds harsh coming from me because I understand I started on a privileged, like race, you know what I mean? So I did not have to make such hard decisions or such overcome certain challenges in my life. However, I did grow up with someone who did. There's no harsh lesson that my dad didn't have to go through, but in his situation, in his circumstances, he could have said, I'm a victim. This is terrible. My life sucks. I'm just gone in the passenger seat for the rest of his life. But from a really early age, he said, no, this is not the life that I'm going to deal with. This is not the life that I deserve or my family deserves and I'm going to do something about it. So he didn't know what to do, but he went out there and he tried and he tried and he tried until he figured it out, until he started learning how to do it. And so you can change that situation. And it doesn't just mean. I'm not saying it's your fault. There's a difference between blame and responsibility. Anything in your life or anything that's gone wrong, it might not be your fault. There are many circumstances you can't control, but it is your responsibility because it's your life. And honestly, from the time you're an adult, which is 18 in African culture, I feel like we're not really adults, still our early 20s most of the time, but really by 25, your life is your responsibility. You have no one else to blame. No matter how bad your circumstances were, no matter what opportunities you do not get compared to other people. It's not about comparison. Life is not objective, right? It's subjective. It's different for every single person. It's different with everyone's circumstances. It's different with everyone's experience, everyone's abilities. Even I can see the difference with me and my siblings, all in the same household, with slightly different personalities, with slightly different choices, with slightly different attitudes, I can see the difference with me and my colleagues or me and my classmates. There's difference in everyone. No matter how similar your background is, no matter if you're all given the same opportunity, some will take it, some won't. Some will do well, some won't. Some will like it, some won't. And that's okay. So what I'm saying is, it's not about comparison. It's about you getting in charge of your own life, taking responsibility for your life. I feel like this is such an area that frustrates me. With adults, you cannot be a victim forever. Yes, it's terrible. This is what happened to you. I really feel bad and I'm sorry. If there's anything I can do to support you, I would do it. But you can't stay a victim forever. Even when, like, life is awful, even when it's grief or something as terrible has happened, or your whole life is turned upside down, you can overcome it. It's hard. I'm not saying it's easy, but it's possible. So it's that part that I want you to focus on, that part that it's possible. Surely you're not the first person in the whole world who this bad thing has ever happened to. Go and read about it. I'm sure you can find a story on YouTube, on the Internet about someone who went through what you went through. Everyone has problems, everyone has challenges. But your ability to overcome them, that's what builds resilience. And now with being proactive instead of being a victim, being proactive is like the complete opposite side of the spectrum. So there's many steps in between. Let's first stop being victims and blaming everyone else for our problems in life or whatever happened. You know those people that always have excuses like, no matter what, oh, this one didn't deliver it to me. Oh, there was traffic. Oh, it rained. Oh, I didn't know what to sh. Such people are so frustrating. Be solution oriented, man. Be action oriented. Whenever there's a challenge or there's a problem or there's an opportunity. You can't always have excuses or oh, I didn't know it was there. Whose responsibility is to tell you that there's an opportunity, that there's this job or there's this grant. You can't do that as an adult. Come on. I have low patience for this. I know, but this is why me, I hire action oriented people. You can't be one of those victim minded people and be around me. But this is why our teams get so much done. You can't come to me in a meeting and I've left you. Okay, this is your budget. This is the challenge. This is the target of the project. Come back next week and you come back and say we didn't do anything because this and this happened. I am not interested in your excuses. Please. This. There's always something happening. Yes, it rains. We live in a world where it rains. You can't say I didn't come to work because it rained. I'm not saying it's not easy. I'm not saying that it's challenging. But guess what? You who didn't come to work, everyone else found a way to show up at work. So it's possible. That's my thing. Don't use comparison. This one has this, this one has that. It's possible. Was there a way you could have overcome that situation? Because if there was, that means you are failing at yourself. You are failing yourself. Not me, your boss, me. I can replace you. But you, with that attitude, you're not going to succeed at the things you want to succeed in your own life. And it's an attitude. That's why I think it's an important thing. It's not a skill you go to class for. It's not something you need a certificate. You don't need to pay for it. You don't need 10 years of experience. It's an attitude. It's a shift in the way you think about things. And I get it because I feel like I was also not a proactive person. Maybe by 25, 23, 24, I started to think about these things. I started to become more proactive because I started to notice how are other people doing this? I can't always be drowning. I can't always suck at everything. I can't always say, oh, you know me, I never knew how to do that or I never got the experience or no one ever told me that. No, go out and find it. Ask someone. Read something. If you have MBS for TikTok, you have MBS to watch Music videos, you have MB's to learn something. That's the truth. You have the ability. There are people with way worse circumstances achieving way more than you. There are people with way less ability, way less intelligence, way less opportunity, way less education passing you. I know. I'm saying, don't compare me. I don't use that as comparison. That should be inspiration. It's possible. So being proactive is about taking that initiative, seeing the situation, what it can be. You can choose to wait and be passive. Things will still happen. Life will still go on. You don't have to put in energy and time. But if you're proactive, you can do so much more. At any kind of situation or any kind of challenge. Team, project, target. There's so much you can do. So start by doing one extra thing. It's like in sales how they say you should always under market and over deliver, right? Because that's what gives you excellent customer service. And people will be like, wow. And it's great. It's a wonderful feeling. This is something I still enjoy. Every time I walk into, like, a new room or a new situation, they're like, oh, this girl, she must be so stupid. She must just be here because of her father. She doesn't know anything. And then you see their faces when I say something that's useful, and they're like, oh, hmm, she might actually be useful. Over deliver. Be proactive. Do the extra research, stay that extra hour, ask those extra questions, do that, go the extra mile. Because by doing those small extra things, it adds up and you end up further along. It's an attitude. That's all it is. It's just a shift. And it's a shift you can take today. There's absolutely nothing stopping you except all your old beliefs, except all the old patterns and habits you have and this attitude of waiting for someone to save you. Don't be it sad. No one is coming to save you. That only happens in movies. Can't wait for the government or your boss or your spouse, your parents. Everybody has their own problems, man. Everyone is doing the best that they can. I really believe that in any moment, they're not coming to save you. And it's not their responsibility to. The only person that's going to save you is you. So the sooner you learn how to save yourself and to get yourself out of situations, oh, my God, life becomes so much better. I promise. Become action oriented. Become proactive. Be intentional. Your time, your energy, those are finite resources. You're never gonna get more. That's what's valuable. With your time and your energy, you can earn as much money as you are able to because of how you use that time and energy. You can meet as many people as you want to. You can read as many books as you want to, but your time and your energy will never be given back to you. Once it's gone, it's gone. And that's something you can control. That is a choice you are making every day. This is where discipline is built, resilience is built, intelligence is built, wisdom is built, experience is built. There'll be people in the same job for 10 years, but they don't know how to do that job. They're not good at it. They can't advise someone or train someone in that job because they're not aware. They're not present and intentional. They're not proactive about, we need to plan for this, we need to think about this. We need to hire this. They're just passive. They're just going with the flow. So try and ask yourself, are you that kind of a person? Where are you being passive in your life where you could be more proactive? Where are you letting other people make decisions that affect you? Can you contribute? Can you influence? Can you participate in the conversation? Have to be proactive. You know, the experience that there's no seat at the table, it's something that, you know, is a big challenge for women, people of color. And nowadays there's so many memes. Build your own table, bring in an extra chair. You know, you have to make your own table sometimes. Or if you're at the table and you're quiet, man, speak up. There are solutions to all your problems. Have you ever thought about it that way? Sometimes if you look at all the problems in your life, yeah, there are many. They're hard. But there's a solution for everything. It's just about how you spend your time and your energy. Sometimes you think, oh, no, the solution is money. Is it? What will that money really pay for? For someone else to solve your problem? If it really is money, why don't you put in some time and effort? Start your side business, save that money, get there. I'm not saying these things are easy, but I'm saying that they are worth it. Because once you make those kinds of shifts, it affects every aspect of your life. You learn to do this across different aspects of your life. It's a big one. So in this month series, I made videos about examples of how you can be proactive in your business. As a student, in a family Business, in your career, because those are specific examples to make it clear. But I wanted to talk about the general principle today, because even in your personal life, you can be proactive. You can go the extra mile. You can think about things in advance. It's like showing up for a meeting unprepared. That's what you're doing with your life when you're not being proactive. You just showed up and you're like, okay, let's see what they say. Is that the best way to live? I don't know. Maybe it's more peaceful. But, you know, I feel like it wasn't. I felt so, like, when you feel like you're a victim, you feel helpless and you get frustrated and you feel powerless. So I feel like that's what made me learn how to do these things. I got tired. I was too. I was frustrated. I'm tired of being the stupid one. I'm tired of being embarrassed that I don't know this thing. I'm tired of not having any decision, power making power in my life. Someone else has to decide because I don't know. No, surely I can learn. It used to frustrate me when I was younger. I think I was about 23 when I was just like, you know what? Enough of this. I can learn something. I can also be useful. Not just, you know, people ignoring you or assuming that you don't know, and the truth is you don't know. I think I got frustrated with that. So I was like, surely there's another way. Surely there's something I can do or be better at, or there's a way I can learn how to take more control of my life. You know, mastery over something is one of the human fact, like measures of happiness. If you're never making progress, you're never in control of the decisions you're making or the places you're going or the things you're doing. It's frustrating and demoralizing, but it has to be frustrating enough that you're wanting to make a change, then you shift and then you become proactive. You're able to do different things, you're able to achieve different things. And oh my gosh, once they learn how to do it, so much fun. Because now I feel like there's nothing I can't do, which sounds arrogant, but okay, I can't run a marathon or do certain things. It's not that I can't. It's that I can't put in the effort that it would take to do those things. That's what it is now that I know I can be proactive and achieve different things. I know it's just about how I use my resources. Whether it's my time, it's the money I have available, it's the network I have available. Whatever my goal or target in life is, I know it's achievable. It's hard, but it's achievable. I just have to figure out what I need to do to achieve it. And it's something I talked to my sister about recently. I was like, I don't really get jealous of people anymore. I used to be such a jealous person. Oh, my God. This person has this. This person can do this. This person. What? No. Now I'm like, if it's something I want, I just have put in the effort to get it. Whether it means I have to go to the gym seven times a week because I want to look a certain way, or I want to be able to do a certain thing, or it means I need to read 40 books about energy. Everything is achievable. It just is. What is it? What does it take to achieve it? And are you willing to do that? That's where the problem comes. Because most of the time we're not willing. We don't want to suffer like that. We don't want to do that extra course or stay those extra hours. You could be watching tv, you could be at a party, you could be with your friends. Who wants to do all this extra work? But you have to be able to make that distinction. Know that it's because you're choosing not to put in that extra work, that you don't have that thing. Everybody has the life that they deserve as adults. It's a harsh thing to say, but it's true. If you don't put in effort, you don't get the achievement. The people you think are lucky, they're not lucky. They're putting in work that you're not seeing. There are so many things that are achievable if you put in the effort. It's not only money stopping people from things. Honestly, I see lots of people with lots of money that also don't achieve things because they're lazy or they don't want to. They're like, meh, is it really worth my time and effort and stress? Because it's hard. Life is hard. It's true for everyone who you think their life is so nice and it's so perfect and has all these good things. They also have problems. They also have challenges. They're also struggling, but they are succeeding in struggles you are not, because they're putting in time and effort. They're putting in their resources and their energy to achieve those things. And the good thing with that is you can, too. If you are the problem, you are also the solution. Shift your mindset, put in some effort. See what you can achieve. You'll surprise yourself. Like how I was saying, when I'm trying stuff in the gym, I'm like, there's no way I can do that. And then I'm surprised. Oh, my God, I can. And the more I do it, the stronger I get and the better I'll do it. And then that means I can do something even harder. Oh, my goodness. You just have to get into that zone of trying and putting in effort and pushing yourself. And once you see how much you can achieve, it's amazing because you'll be more motivated to do more things. Your dreams will grow bigger. You'll start achieving them faster. You will see that you can apply this in every different area of your life. Okay, we do have questions. In a family business with standard procedures that limit proactiveness, how can one still be proactive? You know the beauty about being proactive? It's not like there's rules. Being proactive is a state of mind. You can always think of something else that you can do. Yes, there are things that you can and cannot do. If you work in, like, a hospital, you should be washing your hands before you touch anyone. I'm not saying don't wash your hands. What I'm saying is for every standard operating procedure, there's more you can do. Go above and beyond. Think about it that way. Think about what is your desired outcome? What's the best case scenario? What do we want to work? What's the goal here? What are all the different ways that we can achieve this goal? How can I support the person in that position? How can I be useful in this meeting? What research can I do? What conversation can I have? What questions can I ask? See how you can use your energy to go above and beyond to get what you're trying to achieve. Even in rigid, rigid structures and rigid companies or industries or sectors, there's always people you can see who are going above and beyond. And those people are the ones who get promoted so fast. They're the ones who get the best results, the best appraisals, because they're putting in all this time and energy. Half of being proactive is just enthusiasm. If you just go in with all your positive attitude and time and energy. You will see all these opportunities. You will help all these people. You'll be a resource and an asset and you will be useful. That's what being proactive is. Does Simba Group have two boards, one family and the other professional? No, we have one official board. Sometimes. Well, a lot of the time we talk about work things during like family dinner, but. And my dad jokes that this is the board, but we don't actually like have board meetings. That's just family. Have a professional board. Even in a family business, it helps. There's a video about that if you're curious. I think on my YouTube channel about boards and family businesses. How do you prevent identity from obscuring your management of family members on the job? Prevent? I think your identity should be an asset. You know, with family business, I'm always saying how, yes, you have to have family members in the business, but you should also try and give them the right tasks and roles that suit their personalities. You know, you don't want the most friendly person in finance, small things like that. How do you prevent it? I think is by flipping that around. How are you proactively? How are you proactively making sure that each family member is in the role that suits their identity, that is in alignment with their values and their wishes and their goals? Because that's what helps the business. If it's not in alignment with their values and they're in a complete opposing role, it's going to hinder your business. So I would suggest you even talk to them on one on ones with an HR person. What are your personal goals? What are your values? What's driving you? What do you want to achieve? Where do you want to be in five years? Where do you want to be in 20 years? So you can see what direction they want to be in and what their abilities, their skills, their values are, and then see how to fit them within the family structure so that it stays in alignment so that at least they're doing something that they believe in and they love and they're encouraged to do and they, they can every day. Because if you have family members who are just forced into like roles that they don't want, it doesn't help. It's just going to slow down everything for the business, for the family. It's going to cause problems. So be proactive about that. Okay, advice. I'm also a family member, but I have never got advantage of joining the business. So you're in the business, but you don't feel like it's benefiting you, okay, that's something you can be proactive about. How can it benefit you? What advantage do you want and how do you achieve that? Are you contributing in a way that you feel like you're not being compensated? Are you not learning? Do you not have opportunities? If you're in the family business by default, it's also your responsibility to find your role in the family business because putting the burden on someone else to think for you or think about you is now trying to shift responsibility. Yes, maybe they put you in this role because that was what was there or that was where the opportunity was. But speak to your family, speak to the family members in charge or speak as a family together. This is where I think my skills are. This is what I want to do with my life. I think I can be more useful to the business if you put me in this department or in this role. Can we switch with this person or can I start going for their meeting so I start to learn. Then when the opportunity arises or the company grows, I can start to do more of this. You see, there are ways you can create opportunity for yourself, but you have to be proactive about it. Do some research, show them evidence. In this kind of business, this is what the family does. In this kind of company, this is how they do it. There's so many examples you can give. Sure. Even in a movie or a celebrity or in a book, find a way that you can show your family, this is what I want to do and I can be a benefit to the business. To be an advantage to the business in negotiations. You want a win win situation. So you have to show them how the business will be better and all of them will be happier with the flow of things. If you are doing this because it's in your best interest, it's your skill set. Sometimes it's, oh, I have this degree, but you guys have put me in the wrong department. I actually like my area that I studied and I have all this useful, give me a chance, you know, get out there, be active about it. Don't sit and suffer quietly. Have the conversation, do your research and come up with solutions. The problem a lot of people have is they complain. When you complain, you're just saying problems. You're not giving a solution. When you have a problem, have a solution. This because it affects you. At the end of the day, everyone else can get on with their lives. It's you who's disgruntled. So say, this is the problem I'm having. I have not got any advantage of doing this family business. So this is what I suggest. I would like to have this, this and this. But in return, I will be doing all these extra things. I'll be helping in this department. I suggest we have this area. There are so many things you can do. Possibilities are endless. It's about your effort. Put some effort, put some research. Go talk to your family. Good luck. All right. It's even a bit over. We shall be continuing to talk about being proactive. This videos each week will have lots of examples for you. If you have questions, do send me a dm. Have a nice weekend.