Being Proactive as a Student

Happy Friday, everyone. I have totally failed to get the camera to work. We're going to do it like Twitter spaces this week. It's Friday. Have you done your Friday reflections? Have you done your weekly reflections? What happened this week? What worked? What didn't work? What did you succeed at? What did you change? What did you do differently? Are you measuring it? The point of these Friday reflections is to see your progress, is to make sure that you're moving in the direction that you want. Time passes so fast and without being intentional and careful about what you're doing and how you're doing it, it's easy to look back once things have passed and say, oh, my goodness, already halfway through the year, what have I achieved this year? Or, oh, no, there's only a few more months till next year. How am I gonna achieve my annual goals? So it's important that you reflect often. List it every month, because you'd be surprised. Time really moves so fast. I can't believe we're going to be in OS next week. I keep saying calendar end by August, this August, that, and in my mind, it's so far away, and yet it's like in a few days. Time moves fast. Our perception of time also changes depending on what we're doing and how we're feeling. So if you always feel like you're out of time or it's never enough, you need to be trying to assess, where is your time going. That's why there's many productivity apps. So many people are like, how many things have I gotten done in a day? I'm not sure. How much time did I spend scrolling on Facebook or Instagram? I'm not sure. So now there's apps that can help you to track that. Some phones just do it. Or you can lock your social media so you can only use it for like, an hour a day. It's wild how fast time moves and how many hours you can lose in a day, either in meetings or in traffic or in social media or in something you really didn't realize you're losing time in. But time is precious because we don't get it back. So make sure you're using your time well. And when I say, well, it's your time. That's the thing. If someone else is controlling your time, if you're not aware of where your time is going, then you're not using it well. That's why I suggest you reflect weekly. It's hard to do it every single day, but I think you can put small practices in, like, in Your morning routine or your evening routine, while you're setting intentions, asking yourself questions just so that you're aware. The first step is awareness. If you ask yourself, what did I do today? Every day you start to be aware, did I achieve any of my goals? Am I moving in the direction I want? Was my whole day someone else's goals? And it's not just about, like, if you're a working person, I understand a company or someone else has control of a lot of your time, but within that time, the stuff you can achieve, even when it's not your business or you're not a student or it's not for your family, it's not your personal time, even at your job, your time is yours. How you show up for work and what you achieve and to do, how you interact with other people, what you read, what you learn, where you go, what you volunteer for, that's your time and that's something that's in your control. So when I'm saying measure these things every week, it's because you can change and you can be intentional and you can't adjust how you show up every day. Because a lot of the time it's just your attitude, it's just being aware of something. Choose one thing that you're trying to improve or change or adjust in the next six months. And if you just check once a week, did I try? Did it work? Did I try? Did it work? And maybe for the first five weeks it won't work, but in the sixth week you'll see a difference. Because once you're aware of it, you start to notice that this is what's getting in the way of it. This is where my time is going, oh no, I've forgotten to do it. It's almost 5pm so it really helps as a habit. I think it's like a hack. You just practice and you just try. You put in some effort, put in some awareness, and it helps because it also helps you take control of your own time and your own life. Because no one else is asking you these questions. No one else is writing them for you. It's up to you to decide what you want to reflect on, what you're trying to improve on. And when you're deciding that it's about what's hurting you in your life, what's the pain point? Why do you want to change that? You won't be able to change something that you don't like in your life unless it's really bothering you. Like, you reach the point where you'd Rather change than stay the same. And change is always hard. It's something new. So you really need a push to adjust something. And so if you're trying to change something that you know you don't like in your life, be aware of how much you're doing it that might give you the push. Like, my goodness, I'm actually spending three hours a day on Instagram. I'm tired. I forgot to do this report. I didn't spend time with my kids. Like, you realize it once you start tracking it, just how bad it is. And that might be the motivation you need to make the change. Or you start to realize how much time you spend thinking about it. I really hate this job. You're there every day and you've been doing it for several years. You know you hate it, but you're not really paying attention, so you just keep going. If you start to pay attention about how much you hate it, you'll find that you'll be motivated to apply for another job. So sometimes you need the push, sometimes the awareness shows you what you need to see. And that's why it's important to do it for yourself. Because what's bothering someone else in their life is not what's bothering you. Even as you and your friends all sit and say, let's all make this goal together. Let's all do this together, some of you will make it, some of you won't. Because you all have different levels of fear, different levels of satisfaction, different levels of struggle with it. So you all have to decide these things for yourself. So make your own questions and reflect once a week and see if you're being the person you really want to be, and if not, why not? What's getting in the way of that. Try and be aware of it. Try to understand it so you can see how to overcome it and change and be this person that you want. Anyway, that's reflection stuff. This week, we are talking about being proactive for students. I think this is the easiest time to be proactive, if I'm honest. When you're a student, you have so much time and energy, and your time is more of your own, I think. Well, at least that was my experience, because you're not so much. It's not like you have a 9 to 5. You might have classes, you have obligations, you have homework, but you kind of. It's the first time you get to guide your life more. I think maybe it's the first time I got to be proactive. So that's why I think of it. That way, because when you're a student, you can say yes to different things, you can attend different things, you can meet different people, and oh my gosh, it's such a good excuse to say you're a student. You can go to any office, you can email any person and be like, I'm a student and I'm doing some research and I'd like to know this and this and this and. And people will be so much more open to you. Sometimes I tell our research guys to say that when they're in the field. Just say you're a student and you're doing research. People will tell you things because if you're not a student and you ask people questions they don't want to answer, they don't know what it's for. Are you trying to get them in trouble? Are you a competitor? But when you're a student, you get away with more things. And also people are more forgiving because you're young. You do something silly if you don't know what to do, if you don't know how to say it or how to phrase it or where to go, how to dress. People are more forgiving when you're a student. So it's a good time to practice, to learn, to try different things. And it's a very useful time to be proactive because it's also a time where there's lots of parties and distractions. Can go here for the weekend. We can visit this person after school. Let's go for this concert or this, this bar. There's always something going on. So it's hard to choose your time and spend it wisely. So I'm not saying it's easy. Also, as a student, you have less resources, you don't have as much money, you don't know as many people, you don't have the network, you don't know how to do things. So you're coming from not a disadvantage because you do have the time, the energy, and the excuse of being a student. But you know less. That's the truth. I don't know how to say that nicely. And I feel like when I was a student, I knew so little, but I didn't know how little I knew. I think when you're young, you still have a bit of arrogance. Like, I've learned this, I have this degree, I'm learning all these interesting things. I'm independent. You really don't know much, man. That's the truth. You haven't experienced, like, even a tablespoon of life. I say that to my sister, who's a student and she hates it. But it's true. You don't really know what the world is doing yet. If you're like. Some students have lived a lot of life by the time they're students. Don't get me wrong. Some people have come from different backgrounds. They had to be responsible or mature, or they've worked or they've been exposed to something different. But for the most part, when you're young, young, like in your early 20s, you haven't experienced a lot of opportunities, let's call it that, because with every opportunity, you get to experience something good, something bad. You learn something. Either you like it or you don't. You learn how to deal with this kind of a person or you learn how to solve this kind of a problem. And I feel like when you're in your early 20s, the kinds of problems you exposed to or you're supposed to be dealing with are not the same problems that older adults have. Even, like, I'm only in my 30s. I'm sure people in their 50s have way harder problems than me. And there are many things I haven't experienced. I just feel like the difference in the last 10 years in what I've experienced and what I've learned is so huge. There was no way anyone could have explained this to me when I was 22, that this is all the things you're going to learn and these are all the things you're gonna have to deal with. I would not have believed. So I feel like when you're young, and that's why I say when you're a student, because I just. It's the age you don't have to be in university. I just mean you're under 25. Try and experience things. Just try and do as many things as you can. Once you've been to one party, you've been to 10 parties, you've been to 100 parties, honestly, they stay the same. Parties don't change. Even now, 10 years later, the parties are the same. You learn how you are at the party, what's your role, your party Persona, what you're doing there, why you enjoy it. And then, yes, go for parties, enjoy it. But there's so much else you can be doing. Oh, my goodness, there's so much you can experience these days. You have the Internet, you can watch things, you can watch things live, you can be going through things with people from all over the world. And there is so much interesting stuff on the Internet, free stuff. There's live streams of, like, wildlife or conferences of people learning things, of doing things. There's Facebook groups for every single thing you can think of. Honestly, any hobby, any area, any expertise. There's LinkedIn talks, lessons, classes, blogs. You go on Twitter Spaces. My Twitter spaces, just now when I was opening and I couldn't find the button to press the go, there's so many random things. I'm like, how do these things even come into my Twitter feed? I don't. I never remember signing up for spaces, so I don't know how it knows what I want to listen to. But it's interesting. The other day I was getting dressed and I was scrolling on Twitter because I was looking for memes, and then I saw a live about. What was it about? Public speaking. And I was just like, okay. I pressed on while I'm brushing my teeth, getting ready, and I was listening to this interesting guy in Canada talking about his experience as a public speaker and his journey. I was like, oh, wow, cool. I don't know how he came in my newsfeed, but there's so much information, there's so much stuff out there. So I think it's easy to sit and listen and learn from others, but it's not the same as experience. But I think if you listen to stuff and you learn and you're prepared, it helps you with the experience, it makes you feel more prepared, and it gives you a better idea. Yes, people are more forgiving when you're a student, but also people are impressed if you know some things when you're a student, if you go for an internship or an opportunity, you go to meet someone and you know certain words or the current trends in the field, or you just read a report in this area, it helps. It helps you learn something. You look better, so you're a bit more impressive. So someone is more likely to give you the opportunity for an internship or a job, or they'll mentor you, or they'll recommend a book you should read, or they'll introduce you to someone useful. So when I'm saying be proactive, there's so much you can do and make better choices in your day, because really, that's what life is about. It's all about making choices. No one is perfect. No one has all the answers. No one just is good all the time. But you learn to make better decisions, and you learn the consequences of your decisions. And every decision boils down to a choice in the moment. It's one moment, whether you say yes or no, are you going to do this or that? Are you going to press snooze and go back to sleep? Are you going to eat a salad? Are you going to eat a burger? Are you going to say, yes, let's go for this conference, or no, let's go for this party? So life boils down to choices in the moment. And you can prime yourself to make better choices if you are proactive about it. What are you trying to achieve? What field are you trying to work in? Where do you want experience? Who do you want to know? There's a student I know who loves meetings like celebrities. She is very determined and she always gets it done. It's something that she finds interesting and she wants to do. And she asks them questions, not just for a selfie. She has questions for them to understand their life and how they got where they got. And it makes. She's made so much progress. Honestly, the first time I met her, I was just like, yeah, that's so unrealistic. Anyway, but she does it and she did it because that's what she's intentional about. So there's so much you can do, and I think with limited resources you feel like the options are fewer. But options are vast. Vast. There's so much out there. There's so many people who can help you. There's so many jobs you could be doing. There's so many books you could reading. I think open your mind a little bit. Don't take no for an answer. If one person says no, find another person. Keep pushing, keep asking until you get what you're looking for. Most of the time it's not what you really wanted, but you need to get there to understand why you wanted it. And now realize, oh, this is not exactly what I wanted. I need this now. And that's how you grow. The problem we have as human beings is the only things we can imagine are things we've already experienced. The only ability your brain has to extrapolate information, to project, to daydream, is using information it already has. Something you've already experienced, or you saw it in a movie, or someone told you about it, or you read it in a book. That's all we know. So when we're dreaming about things or hoping for things, our mind is making that dream from what it already knows. But life is so much bigger than what we know. Every day you experience something new that your mind could never have guessed for you or predicted or planned. So what you think is possible is so limited. This is at every age, by the way. You can be age, but still all your you have more experience. So it's like choosing a movie from a bigger movie library, right? You have more things to choose from, to dream about. But still it's limited to what you think is possible. There's so much happening in the world that we don't know, that we've not experienced, that we've not heard of. But until it happens to you, you don't know it's possible. So don't limit yourself and think this is all that it can be because you've not experienced so much. And the younger you are, honestly the less you've experienced. So you're choosing from like three files. That's what you think is possible in the world. When you're middle aged, you have like 20 files. You know by the time you're like in your 80s, those ones have like a hundred files to choose from. But still it's limited. Human beings are the only creatures that can imagine stuff. All other animals just live what they see and do. They don't get to daydream, they don't get to try harder, or you don't have goals of 10 years in the future. This is what I want to be. So I step up from animals. But still we're limited as well. So you don't know what's possible. When I'm saying be proactive, keep your options open. Be as prepared as you can. Be as open minded, say yes to different things, Go to different places. If you only stay in the same circle of the people you know, the places you go, the same friends you've had, you're limiting yourself even further. Go into different places, different experiences, different neighborhoods, different people, different backgrounds, different cultures. Ask questions, be open minded. You'll learn so much, you'll see so much. And you're expanding your library of possibility in your own mind, which is now going to help you to give you a better foundation for what's possible in your life. So be proactive. Don't just take, I'm a student, I'm limited. This is what God has given me, this is what life has dealt me. Yes, life deals with different things. Everyone comes from a different background, different opportunities. Give it baked in, you know. But it doesn't mean that that's all there is. There's so much more out there. Even in a year, you'll be shocked what you can experience if you're open about it. I think there's a movie about that Jim Carrey movie where he says yes to everything just to get like new experiences. Shonda Rhimes has a Book called the Year of Yes. Just being open to things as they come to you is something you can do. That's easy. Just change your mindset. Just attend if you don't like it, if it's boring, okay, you wasted 30 minutes of your life. What else were you going to be doing? Watching a TV show in your dorm? Come on, just say yes to stuff. Go for it. Read about stuff. See where your interest takes you. Follow that energy, meet people. You can be proactive about these things and it opens up life for you. It means by the time let's say you're a university student and you graduate, you've experienced a few more things, you've met a few more people, so you have a bigger network. Maybe a job will come through there, maybe a spouse will come through there. You don't know what is coming to you. So you want to just put yourself in the best possible position to be ready for anything, to be ready to experience anything, to have different opportunities and to see where life is going to take you. There's no way to plan for that. But the best type of planners are the ones who are ready for anything. So it's an attitude you can have and it's just time and effort you put into different things. Okay, let's see if there's any questions. Talk about the five hour rule and how it can be important in proactiveness. Oh, the five second rule. Okay, that is a book by Mel Robbins. And how is it related to proactiveness? A lot of the time we procrastinate or we talk ourselves out of things that we don't want to do or that are uncomfortable or inconvenient or scary. Mel Robin's theory about the 5 rule is the moment you think about something you want to do or something you're trying to achieve, you have five seconds to start to act on it. Otherwise your mind is going to start jumping in with excuses. For example, when you wake up first thing in the morning and you know you should exercise, she's like, get out of bed and put on your exercise clothes immediately. Don't even think about it because within five seconds your brain will start to tell you. But you know, it's a cold day, maybe we just sleep more. Eh, but I'm kind of tired. Must we exercise today? Oh, actually we can exercise later in the day. Let's do it in the afternoon. Your mind starts working against you. That's how procrastination works. That's how your fear sets in. That's how you come up with Excuses. So she says, you have five seconds to start doing what you're trying to do before your mind can hijack it and take you down the wrong path. And it's a very useful thing because a lot of the time, really and truly, we talk ourselves out of things. We could be doing things we want to do. It's us who are in our own way. But if you practice the five second rule, you have five seconds. Put on those gym clothes. You have five seconds, you know what? Let me get up and get the book and read it. Or you have five seconds, say, you know what? I'm not pressing next episode. I'm going to sleep. You just have to do it the moment you get the urge, do the right thing. Make that better decision. Because within five seconds, that decision is going to be so much harder to make because now your mind is giving you all these excuses, reasons, alternatives. So now you have. It takes much more willpower and energy to get the right outcome. That's the challenge. It's a very good book and she has lots of videos about it online and when I'm not, I mean, YouTube and Instagram, I think also on Twitter. But it's a really useful practice because it's true. Practice it and see in your own life, when you're trying to change something, you're trying to do a thing that's good for you, you have five seconds before your mind is not your friend yet to do. Mind is what came up with it in the first place. It's fascinating. Okay, if we don't have other questions, let me go. Have a good weekend. Do your reflections. Hopefully next week I will be back on this video streaming. All right, bye. Bye.