Communications

Everyone, is this live? I really wonder. Yeah, I think it is. Happy Friday. I can't believe it's Friday already. I had such a good week. I'm very sad that it's over. Have you done your weekly reflections? That's how I like to start. That's what I was thinking. It's been a good week. So I am thinking of the people I'm grateful for this week who made it an amazing week. I'm thinking about, what were the challenges this week? Where could I have done better? Was it poor planning? Did I oversleep? They forget to read something, Did I forget to check something? Was I late for something? Did I achieve what I wanted to achieve this week? These are questions you should ask yourself once a week. Doesn't have to be Friday. Some people do it on Sunday, some people do it on Mondays. I like Fridays because I feel like Friday is the end of the work week. But it's the beginning of the weekend. And for me, the whole week has different goals because you have your personal goals, you have your work goals, you have your physical goals, you have your mental goals. You know, like different things. But I like to reflect on a third Friday. Did I do all the work things I needed to do this week? Do I have to work this weekend? And if they're personal things that I'm trying to check as well, how have I been doing? Because I still have the weekend to figure it out if it's about being more social, if it's about am I getting enough sleep? So I like Fridays, and I also like to prep for the week on Sundays. So find a system that works for you. But what's important is that there's a system that you are checking in and you are measuring these things. Whenever you have a new goal or a new intention, you need to be reflecting regularly and checking. Am I actually doing it? Is it working? Is it working well? What are the obstacles in my way? How can I do this better? If you keep asking yourself these questions, you keep improving. Such is life, Such is the way. So we are talking about communications today. It's communication series. It's exciting. I love it when we start a new series because all these topics come from you guys. So it's always about questions someone asks or. Or can you please discuss the topic? I want to know this. And I'm like, you know what? Okay. I love the feedback, guys. So if you have any topics you would like us to do, I think we have the next one. It's going to be branding. But we are Open for after that. So let me know what you're interested in. Communications. Oh my gosh. Communications is so important. I cannot stress this enough. I know what's wild. It's the things that are most important that we take for granted. And we just don't like putting effort because we think everyone knows how to communicate. Just go with it. No, no, no, no, no. Yet this is something that affects every relationship in your life. It affects how everything flows because no man is an island. We don't do things by ourselves. We all work with other people. We live with other people. We have to buy things from other people to survive or like sell things to other people as well. So communication is a huge thing. And what should I say are communication basics? The first thing with communication is don't just assume. And I mean that in two ways. Don't assume you are a good communicator. Just don't. Even extroverted people, even if you are chatty, even if you are friendly, because it comes with a second assumption. Just because you've communicated something to someone doesn't mean they've understood. So a lot of the time we take for granted that we're talking or we're explaining or writing an email and someone has understood. But. But we all have different backgrounds, different upbringings. Our brain thinks in different ways. We understand things in a different perspective, in a different language, a different lens. So sorry, I just woke up. It's early morning here. So you can't assume people are understanding you. You can't just assume you're a good communicator. You can't assume what you've communicated is what has been understood. And that's where we first go wrong. Because assumptions make an ass out of you and me, I believe is the phrase assumptions are a deadly thing. So that's one of the things I learned actually quite late, I feel, because I just assume people understand when I'm explaining something or like you have the perspective that I have or you know what something means. You know when you're in a meeting and someone starts using abbreviations because they assume everyone knows what they're talking about. That's rude. That's not being a good communicator. Even if we work in the same industry. You don't know if I remember things like that. You don't know what day I'm having. Just be clear. Because at the end of the day when you communicate, it's because you want to be understood, right? So you. It's in your best intention to make sure the People around you are understanding you and that's about your audience, not about you. So to be a good communicator, you have to be thinking about who are you speaking to or emailing or showing or giving signs, are they understanding you? That is the the measure of a good communicator. Not do I speak loudly or do I talk a lot or am I written a seven page email? That is not the measure. Other people you're communicating to, understanding you in all different situations. That's how you know if you're being a good communicator. So the first step is don't make assumptions. Don't just assume you're great. Also, don't just assume you're a bad communicator. A lot of people are like, no, I'm not a good communicator. I'm very shy, I don't talk a lot, I don't know how to explain. But when they talk or when they explain something, it's very clear. That is, just don't like shoot yourself in the foot first. Just be aware, be kind, but be open. Like, what type of communicator am I? Is this something I can improve on? Yes, because you can always improve. Assess for yourself and say, you know what, let me be open to learning about how I can be a better communicator or let me look at the relationships I have. Why does this person always get so angry with me so fast? Why does this person who I give instructions always do the wrong thing? These are signs that you are a poor communicator. Why do I never know what's going on? Do I not ask questions? Am I missing this? Emails like, what is happening? That means you are poor communicator. Because communication also involves how you understand things. So first just be open about it and be like, you know what, let me see what I can improve, where I can learn how I'm doing in this area. And then how are the people around you responding to your communications? Are you always screaming at people and they're just so scared that they don't even hear what you say? Are you giving complicated instructions? Are you talking for 10 minutes when you could have talked for one? Oh my God. People who are not concise. You are not good communicators. When someone asks you a question, your answer should never be more than a minute long unless you're a professor giving a lecture and you're being paid to speak for that one hour. You can be concise about everything. Don't go on and on and on. And repeat yourself. That's poor communication. People get bored, they zone outer. So there are so many areas you can improve as a communicator. There are so many tips and tricks. But I think first you have to assess and think. Let me see how I can improve in this area. Let me not assume I'm good or assume I'm bad. Let me just first gather some data. Let me look around. Let me assess and see. How are my relationships when I communicate to people? Do they look confused? Do they not alone? Are they understanding? Are they smiling? Are they reacting in the way that I expect them to react? They are. Have you ever told someone really bad news and they're like, hey. Like, they don't even realize it's bad or really good news. And they don't realize people are not reacting in the way that you expect them to react. They might not be understanding you in the way that you think you are communicating. So that's the first thing I would say. Let's remove assumptions and let's see how we are communicating. A good thing with communication is when you're looking at your target audience. Make sure that you're breaking things down for them. Because like I said, you don't know what perspective they have or experience or background. Explain things. Keep it simple, keep it slow, keep it short. You know, these are small things that just make you a better communicator. And look people in the eye, make sure they're looking and they're with you even when you're doing speeches. It's something that I really struggled with, actually looking people in the eye while I'm making a speech. Like I'm on a stage, I'm sweating, I'm thinking what I'm trying to say. I have my own problems. But you're not communicating well if you're not giving eye contact. So I had to start to practice look people in the eye. I actually drew eyes on a post on post its and I stuck them around my room. So when I would practice a speech, I'd have to like practice looking at the eyes along the walls that you know how people make speeches and they get stuck in one place and look at one person. That's not good. So I practice. And then when I practice with people, it became easier. Like, okay, guys, please sit. And I practice my speech. I'm gonna look you in the eye. Okay. They're like, okay. And I would practice doing that, but it helped. So you find the areas that you're not great at and you can improve them. You can find Small, silly ways that you practice and you get better. If you find yourself sending emails that are more than like, two paragraphs, let's try and stop that, huh? Let's use bullet points. Let's do something different. Google it. How can I communicate better? How can people understand me better? Is it the way I'm pronouncing words? Sometimes I know I talk too fast. This is something that I get told and I need to practice and improve. And I try to think about it when I'm talking, but sometimes I'll get excited and I'm talking about a topic and I just keep going. And that is poor communication because I know people don't understand me when I do that. So there are small things you can do that help. Another thing with communication, body language is huge. The way that you show and express. I know I do this a lot in all my videos because I'm showing passion and intention, but if I just sat there and then move, it's also not good. You have to see, because body language also tells a lot. Human beings are very intuitive creatures, and we use body language to sense that danger a lot of the time. So when someone is talking to you, your body is, like, assessing, is this safe? Is that person I want to listen to? Is this a person I like? Is this a person I feel comfortable with? Or I do not feel safe about this person. You know, people who talk like this or who, like, point and they come in your face or in your space too much, and then your whole body's like, you're not listening to what that person is saying because they're too much in your space. Don't be the person who does that. Don't go into people's personal space. People need, like, a foot or two around them to feel, like, safe and comfortable. Unless you're very close, don't come that close to people. You don't need to be in their face, spitting on them and pointing. Those are poor communicators because you are breaching their personal space. And then they're too scared to listen to you. So body language affects things like this. There are so many areas in communication. It's so fascinating. I find this an interesting topic, maybe because I had to, like, learn so much about it for public speaking. These things like the tone of your voice. You know how when you read a story to children, you, like, change the tone of your voice and then they went up the hill and then this happened, and then the wolf came. And then imagine everyone likes that, not just children, like, even adults, like when you see like people giving speeches, when they talk at like the same tone the whole time, it's of kind, kind of boring. But when like their voice goes up and down and the pitch and the tempo and the pace and everything like changes, it keeps it more exciting and entertaining. Human beings are story driven, you know, we like to hear stories and feel like entertained and go with what the person is saying. Even in the workplace, even when you're selling, you're teaching something, or when you're talking to like your team and saying, why did we do this? Or how did this happen? Sit and tell the story. You know why this is important to the company? We can't have this because when customers come and they find it like this, this is the thing that they feel, then they won't want to come back. It's not that you're patronizing people and treating them like children, but you're giving a story which gives context and the story is entertaining. So people will listen, so they'll absorb the information you're giving better. And then next time before they leave, like the mop out, they'll remember the story of how when a customer came, they fell on the mop and then they got upset. And now that's the story that your boss has told you. So you won't leave the mop out next time, you know, so it's, it's a different way. There are so many ways to get people to understand what you're saying and what you're giving, the information you're bringing, and that's usually important, otherwise why would you be bringing it to them? Whether it's instructions or it's directions or it's a teaching or it's, you need something. You want people to understand you when you communicate. And that's why you have to take time to improve in your own communications to make sure that people are listening to you, are understanding you. And I understand because a lot of time people don't understand me. Sometimes I'll go and give a talk and I'm looking and I'm talking glass eyes. You know, people are just like, what is this chick on about? I don't know if it's, they don't understand how I sound or I'm talking about something boring, but I can sense and see. It's not entering. What I'm putting there is not going anywhere. So it means you have to change what you are doing. It means you have to talk about something else. Talk slower maybe sometimes for me, or speak more clearly, you know, don't talk with food in your mouth. You know when people are like, on the phone or like, talking to you and you can't really hear, There are many things. Even when some people don't really open their mouth when they talk, they'll talk and like, mumble, and you don't really want to dessert. There are so many things you can do to improve your communication. Things like enunciation. Open your mouth well. And you'd be, this is wild. Like, the fact that we have to learn these things. I'm like, huh? You would think it would be obvious that you need to open your mouth really well when you speak. It's not. And it's also something you practice and you get better at. So people don't, like, have to say, huh, what? Because sometimes people get tired of that. If they just know that one mumble what they've said, I don't care. Because it's just too much effort to get the information from them. Then whatever you're saying, no one is going to hear. And what you're trying to communicate is important, right? Quiet, people, please, Please, you gotta speak up. I see this, like, at the beginning of every, like, class or workshop when I'm about to do Q and A, I'm like, ladies, please speak up. Because we have the shy ones, we have the quiet ones who are so used to their own voice being so low, they think it's okay. And like, I think my understanding is when their voice is louder, it makes them uncomfortable. So they feel like they're making other people uncomfortable. But guys, if no one can hear you, there's no point in you talking. That's just the cold, hard truth. Volume is a simple one. Just add volume. Project your voice. Project means you are propelling your voice. Because if you're talking, like, down and enclosed, it's very hard for people to hear you. Especially if you're in a room, like a meeting room or a classroom. Project your voice. People need to hear you. Whatever you are trying to say, if no one can hear it, you might as well have not said it. It is the same thing. And you don't want people to have to say, huh, what was that? So speak up. Because now you're just annoying everyone so they're not even as receptive to what you're going to say. Please, please, please, project. Speak up. Let people know what you're trying to say. Because you're saying it, that means it's important to you that it's out there. So there are like, a lot of small things with communications but my major point for today was it's important that you communicate. I think this topic this week we were doing communication for entrepreneurs. There should be a video about that. Entrepreneurs is one I wanted to start with because they have to communicate to like a lot of different stakeholders. Like whether it's your team or your suppliers or your customers or people give you a license, your lawyers, you never know who it is. But I would say something that's same for them and for everyone. Be clear in your communications. And you'd always rather give too much information than less. You'd always rather ask too many questions than less. With communication, I think more is better, but not more in big chunks, if you get what I mean. I would always rather someone ask me seven questions before they get the task, like start doing something, rather than they do the wrong thing and they didn't ask at all. But you also don't want someone to sit in your office and ask a question that's 15 minutes long. So let's not be those people. Guys, that's poor communicating. Those are simple things we can know. You don't want to go too deep into things. You need to stop and pause and break to make sure people are with you. You know how some people say, are you with me? You get it? I think you say one of the Ochitega something. You have to check if people are understanding and they're keeping up with you so you don't go too deep and too far and no one knows what you're talking about. So always over communicate, like when you have to give someone instructions or you need something. Please can you send me this file? That is this, this and this. Oh, this distresses me sometimes. Like with my team, they'll be like, oh, madame, please send me the email. Or please send me the file. I'm like, girl, do you know how many people are asking me for things in any given moment? You must be specific. Which file are you talking about? Oh, madam, he has replied. Who? You have to give all this information. Give as much information as you can to make other people's lives easy. The problem with communicating, I think, and how I'll become poor communicators. We are assuming people are understanding and thinking of what we are thinking of in this moment. When I'm saying, please send me that email, what am I talking about? How is someone supposed to read my brain and know which email and which person and which topic I'm thinking of? This is where we go wrong. Because you're making assumptions. Oh, did you pick up the Things. Which things? Did you collect this from that person? Have you sent me the report? Tell people what you mean. You don't know what they're dealing with, what they're thinking about. They just. Because it's the report you're thinking of. Why should they be thinking of that report on Tuesday at 4pm? Why? Even if you've been in the same meeting, even if you are all on the same task force, even if you sit right next to each other at the office, oh, hey, please send me that report on mineral studies that we were talking about yesterday. You have to be specific, give information. Do not assume people know what you are talking about. Give as much information as you can so things are clear. It's not repetitive. Human beings have small capacity, man. We all have phones. We're busy, we're stressed. We have problems. We have obligations. We have daydreams. We are hungry. We are confused. You have no idea what's going through someone's mind at any given moment. What makes you a good communicator is you have given them all the information they need to do that task or to satisfy that problem or to figure that thing out that you need them for. Even when you ask questions, be specific. When you said this, do you mean this or do you mean this? How do I do exactly this? Step on the process. What do you mean by this? How can I do this? Don't just give vague, open questions and don't be quiet when you have a question. That's also poor communicating. Not communicating is poor communicating just by the way. So be specific, give information. You cannot be making assumptions about what people understand or know or thinking of. That is the most. I feel like that's the biggest thing that changes the way you communicate. Once you start to realize people are not thinking the way I'm thinking, you start to communicate better. Because you realize I need to communicate in a way that they will understand me. I need to make sure that when I'm talking about the report, they know which report I'm talking about when I'm asking them to help me with this particular thing or go and buy this. How do you know that they're going to buy the one that you mean? Specific, Be specific. It's not that hard. Trust me. You practice, you get better at it. And once you get better at it, you see the benefits. You don't have to explain yourself seven times because you explained yourself well the first time. When you run a business, when you're a leader in a team, when you have to run a household Communicate well. It saves you time, it saves you energy. It gets things done correctly the first time, which will save you so much in resources, in your time, in your money, in your energy, in what is available to you. Communicate clearly. Don't make assumptions, man. Everyone is coming from a different background from you. Even your own sister or brother who has the same exact upbringing as you, is not thinking about what you're thinking about in the moment that you're thinking of it. You know what I mean? It's not about background. Everyone in every moment is coming from their own world and now you are coming into it with your communication. So ask that question, give that instruction. Specify what you are trying to get out of them and what you want from them, what they want from you. Communicate. Keep that dialogue going. It's so hard to get people to be good communicators, man. I'm not saying I'm perfect. I also struggle. I have my flaws, but. And I'm always trying to learn and see how I can get better because I've seen the benefits when I improve in this area. Oh, wow, now these people understand me. When I improve in this area. Oh, now I'm getting this the way I need it to be done. Some people prefer you write everything down for them. Some people need you to Send emails or WhatsApp. Oh my God, WhatsApp saves us. Some people, like my Luganda, you can see is not good. But when I deal with someone who wants to deal with Luganda and I need something English, you write it down, they'll find a way to like, get someone to translate for them or I will find a way, write it for me, Luganda. I get someone to tell me exactly what this is. You know, sometimes things like that help. There's so many ways to communicate. It's about putting in that effort to make sure your target audience is understanding you and you are understanding them. If you are not understanding, it is your responsibility to say, I, I do not understand. No one will beat you. We are now adults. You will not get beaten for saying I do not understand. If anything, you will get praised because they're like, okay, since you have not understood, let me explain it better. Or let me try a different way because the person who is explaining to you wants you to understand because they need you to understand. Otherwise they wouldn't be wasting their time. So when you don't understand, it is your responsibility to say, I don't understand. Please start again. Come slowly. Explain it in another way. What do you mean by this? What Was that word do that? It helps. It makes you a better communicator as well. I ask so many questions. Honestly, I am very happy to be the one in the meeting say so. Sorry, me, I don't understand what you're talking about. What is that thing? What does that word mean? I don't know. I am very happy to do that because I bet if I don't know also others don't know. So they're all like, Bambi, Thank God. Tally asked. Even if they know. And I'm the one who doesn't know. Maybe a mom doesn't know this sector. Maybe I forgot to read the report. Maybe I've just never come across this element in my life or this concept. I don't know what that is. Please first explain to me what type of pipe that is. Then you can explain to me the whole situation and the problem or explain to me what type of plant that is or what that report is or what that software is. Because I don't know. And I want to know. You need me to understand. Otherwise why am I in the meeting? So it's my responsibility to say I do not understand. Please explain. You don't lose marks for that. You do not sound stupid for saying I do not understand. You are being brave and you are being bold. And I think you have more integrity. Because all those who sit in the meeting and leave the meeting without understanding are now poor ethically workers. That's how I think of it. If you go to a meeting and you don't understand what you're supposed to. When you leave the meeting, you. That means you don't value your job, you're not a good worker, you're not trying your best. Because how are you going to do your work when you don't understand what they've told you to do? I understand. It's challenging. It's scary to ask, what is that I don't understand? Some people feel shy to do it. If you don't do it in the meeting, you better sit at the end of the meeting and say, can I keep you for one minute, please? I didn't understand this part. I didn't want to take everyone through, you know, the whole thing again. But can you explain this part to me so I get it well, then I can do my job well. It makes you a better worker. It makes you a better person, even in your relationships, even with your siblings, your family, your friends, your spouses. Say, I don't understand what you mean when you say, I make you feel this way. What does that mean how am I doing that? Because you don't understand. But if you don't understand and you don't take the effort to understand, you'll never understand. So you'll never be a better sister or husband or wife or friend. Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't realize I was doing that. Please explain to me. People will explain, say I don't understand. Communicate better. To affect all areas of your life. And it's something that you can easily practice, you know, because we are always communicating, we're always talking, always interacting with people. Okay, let me see about questions. Oh my God, I've talked too long. Andrew, how do you create a safe space for junior workers or those with low self esteem to open up? Love this question. It is very important for them to have a safe space. I think privacy always helps. That's the first thing. Take them to a separate place where others are not hearing you, whether it's in the cafeteria or in a separate office or in a boardroom or say at the end of the meeting, oh, Andrew, will you stay for five minutes extra? I want to talk to you about something, you know, like that doesn't require other people. And then get them and be like, okay, how do you think that went? What happened? What's important with junior people or people with low self esteem? You have to make space for them to talk. So you don't want to make a safe space. And then you keep talking to them. You have to listen. It's about listening. They have to get used to opening up to you and speaking up. Privacy and listening, active listening and like accept what they're saying, not just jump into, fix it or react. Any mechanisms to boost consistent communication? There's lots of apps and things and also consistency is good in your communication. Once you have a consistent style. I will say on this project we're going to meet every Tuesday at 2, then every Tuesday at 2, you make sure you're there, make sure you have the same agenda, make sure you're going through the same metrics, you're asking the same questions. So people get used to that and they know how to prepare for it. Things like that build consistency. If there's colleagues who you only deal with on email, make sure you keep sending them emails. If the ones you WhatsApp, make sure you WhatsApp them. Like every day is once a month. Is it? You know, find your rhythm and your pattern for what is required and how much information you need in each situation. Sergio, I want to talk in a way that the Listener doesn't think I'm full of myself or sound as if I know it all. That is a nice thing, Sergio. No one lacks a know it all. So to talk in a way that they don't think you're talking about yourself, firstly, be mindful, be conscious. Men, honestly, you suck at this. Men really like to talk about themselves and they don't realize and they keep going and going and going and we're just like, try and keep things concise. Like I said, if someone asks you a question or if you're interacting with someone, conversations mean back and flow and forth. You should not be talking for five, 10 minutes yourself. And then you ask them something. Try and do one minute or two minutes, answer the question and then say, what do you think? What about you? How? Ask them a question about themselves. Engage them, engage your listeners. Keep checking. Are you understanding? Are you with me? Do you agree? What do you think about this? So that you don't just keep going, going, going, going, going. That helps. Paul, when I'm presenting a speech, kindly advice. How can I can improve Nayin fa? I actually have a course on public speaking. Paul, you could do that because there's many different things like I've talked about. It's about the structure of the speech, it's about the visuals, it's about your body language, it's about your tone of voice, the way you engage the audience, the way you think about the audience as you prepare. There are many small things in improving in speaking. If you go to my website, there is a public speaking course for 100k. I've had a lot of good feedback on it. I tried to put a lot of information in there, so I hope that's useful. I do have to run this is communications series. I think it's communications month over so if you have any questions you can send in DMS on any of my social media platforms and I will answer them on the Friday lives next week. The live is on Thursday though. But send me your questions and I will make sure I get to them. Have a good weekend.