Family Partnerships

That is working. Please be working. I think it's working on Facebook. Okay. It's working. I think it's working. Wow. One day I'll get this. It's Friday. Love Fridays. Best day of the week if you ask me. Bit of serious, a bit of fun. Nice mix. Happy Friday. I hope everyone is well. I hope Tuta can hear me from this weird angle that the phone is at. Wow, I look like Bellatrix Lestrange today. So have you done your Friday assessments? How was your week? What went well? What happened this week? What happened this month? What is going well in your life? It's important to take a moment and be grateful and acknowledge the progress you are making, the things you're actually achieving. Even if it's less than you aimed for, it's important to acknowledge what you are actually doing. It makes a big difference in your momentum, in your self esteem, in your trust, in yourself to know that you can do things and you are doing things and you are moving forward. So make sure you acknowledge your wins for the week. Look at also what have been obstacles this week. Something new popped up. Is there something that was unexpected, something you didn't see coming, something you've never had to deal with before? How did you handle that? How are you handling that? How are you processing it? I know most of the time we jump in and react really fast, but it's really useful to pause if you can and first process before you respond because then you think in like a more clear, calm way and you're not just like reacting in the moment, however you feel about the challenge or the situation. So if you have the ability, it does help to pause and say, let me take a moment to think about that. And then you come back with a different solution and you see how you feel. So look at the different obstacles in your life and in your week and see what worked, what didn't work, why it didn't work, how can you plan for that so that next time you do this better and you are more efficient? We are going to be talking about family partnerships. Today we have been releasing some family, some partnership videos. I think they are on YouTube and we will post the links on my other social media channels because there's lots of different types of partnerships and this month we've really been talking about partnerships. So we made a series of them and I think we still have another one or two to go in the next two weeks and I hope you find those helpful. So if you have questions about partnerships, any kind of partnerships, you can always send me Your questions and I will respond and we can talk about it here in the lives or I can send you a message or a DM if you prefer. So with family partnerships, what is the problem? Oh, it's too late to turn on the lights. The light switch is quite far. Let me be near the window. But it's about to rain is the problem. Okay, with family partnerships, what are the basics and what is most important? I think this is an important situation for Africans especially because there are so many of us who work in family businesses and who work with our family members on a day to day basis. I think there's a challenge with nepotism and there's a difference between a family business and nepotism. Because in a family business there are family members who have to work in the business. So it's about finding the right roles that suit the members because they're the owners of the business. I think nepotism happens when someone has a job and starts hiring their relatives, regardless of their qualifications, into the jobs. So just so that we keep those two separate, I'm not endorsing nepotism, talking about family businesses where you are an owner in the business or you're related to the owner and they want you to work in the business. And I think the reason that family businesses have that aspect is because you take on more responsibility. There's a lot more that you can put on a family member than a paid employee and you expect them to have a different level of responsibility for the business to the way they care about the business, property, the products, the staff, the customers. You have to like go an extra mile when it's your business because you're the owner. And it's also your family name and your brand and your reputation. So there's like a lot more consequences. You can't just quit and move to another company as easily as someone who is just working in a company. So this is the family businesses I'm talking about and it's family partnerships essentially because you do work as partners in a business. A lot of family business structures have one leader and then the rest of the family members have to work as a team within the staff and report to the leader. And I think that's what's the normal situation. And there's not much you can learn about that in an obvious way unless you speak to other families. So when I first started working, I asked my other friends who worked for their parents, how do you handle this? What is your day like? How do you process this when they do this? What do you do? Because it's very stressful when you don't really know what to do. And I come from business school, so the way I understood the structure and the systems and the logic was completely different from what actually happens on the ground. I was lucky. I had worked as a teenager in the different companies that we had and since I was a kid, like you're kind of around your parents offices so you sort of know what's going on. But it's very different from when I was at school and they were explaining to me how businesses run in like a structured, organized situation. I had never had access to that level of information in the companies, so I didn't know what really goes on. I just know if I'm working as my dad's assistant and answering his calls and following him around, that's all I would pick up on what's going on. So I learned a lot more about the structure and the systems at school. And so when I came back, trying to understand the structure and systems, but also the people aspect of business, like the staff that you work with, the customers you work with, your team, your boss, because essentially your family members now have roles above and around you. Now my current job, I have family members above me and below me. So I have to be a supervisor, I have to be a junior. I have to know how to navigate that while also maintaining the relationship with the family member. And we don't hit each other when five o' clock comes know. So there are many different aspects about it and I think it's an interesting area to navigate also a lot of young women have talked to me about this because they work in their family businesses. And I feel like the two areas that I get a lot of questions about is one, how do you get the people to respect you? As a young woman who runs a family business, I've had two ladies, I think, whose parents passed and they inherited the business and now they have to work with the staff who worked for their parents and were struggling with that. One of them, even her own brothers were not happy that the father left the business to her. So they were making her life difficult. So I think it's a hard area to navigate. And then what's the other area the family businesses people always bugging me about. Let's talk about that one first. So I think finding respect and finding your footing in the family business is always challenging. And I can't say that there's like one like sure way to do it, but you have to come in with a humble attitude. The first challenge is always the mindset. So when you're the young person coming into our family business that's existed before you, you come in with all this energy and excitement and a bit of entitlement that I'm here, I'm also a shareholder, I also have a voice I want to be heard. And I think it's good to first always assess the situation. So for the first few weeks or months, first get to know the business, even if you've known it from your holidays or from your parents talking about it, or from your relatives. And this is my uncle's business I work in, or my cousin's business. First take the time to humble yourself and be like a regular employee. Go make sure you know the people who work there, get to know the company, get to know the products, the services, the customers. What are the busy days, what are the best selling products, what are the challenges? What do the staff joke about? What is the culture in the company? Take some time to really absorb and learn and understand the landscape that you're walking into. Because this business did not start existing the moment you arrived. It was there before you and it was fine before you came. So as much as we have all these new ideas and enthusiasm and we can analyze and all this marketing and all this social media for you, first assess the situation. Because then you get to know who are the players in the situation, who are the people that are listening to more, who are more influential, what is the landscape like? What are the challenges they have? Do they need support in this area? Do they need support in this area? Is my knowledge in this area going to be helpful or is that person already there and I don't need to, you know, be double? And now it's too many cooks and we're causing more problems. So you have to try and first assess how you best fit into the system, because the system existed before you. So see what the system is like and then see where you can help the system, where you can add value, where you can show your skills, you can have some creativity, you can show what you're able to do, you can take the business to the next level. You can increase the revenue or the customers or the customer service, or reduce the complaints or improve the product. You get to see where you get to make an impact. And I think that's the first thing you should try and do. Because for the staff to respect you, for the customers to get used to you, for you to get used to the system, you have to be adding value. So you have to be Showing how you are helpful to the company. Why should the company keep you? Because a family member is still someone who's going to get paid out of the company. You don't have the right to be paid if you're not contributing anything to the company. I think if you are a family member who is a dependent, that's different. But a family member who works in the company, you need to be adding value. You need to be showing why the company needs you and how you're making it a better place. Like all employees, earn your keep. So the best way to do that is to first assess and see. Because the challenge with family members is it's not like there was a job description and an advert circulated and a family member happened to be the most qualified. I think that must be very rare if that ever happens. But you are a family member who has to work in the company. So now you have to fit into the system. So there's no designated role for you. So sometimes they'll say, oh, just help this person or be in this department, or just take over this or handle that. So you have to navigate more carefully. When someone arrives at a job and the job has a description and a role and it was already there and it's designated for them, there's a desk waiting for you. There's someone who's ready to supervise you. There's work ready for you to do. Like, it's a simpler process, but when you're a family member and you're now entering a family business, it's up to you to navigate that system. You can't just sit there in the corner for the first three weeks and wait for your uncle to say, hey, how is it going? Have you made friends? Are you making the work? Is things happening? You also have to take initiative. So make sure you're mingling with the staff, you're asking questions, you're going out in the field, you're talking to the customers, you're trying things, and you'll find where you fit. You know, they always say, water finds its level. So if you put in some effort, you'll find a good level. You'll find a place where you add value. You enjoy what you're doing. Your skill set is being used. Not that you're a creative person and you find yourself working in the accounts department of your family business, and you're like, how did this happen to me? Hmm? It's not gonna last. That's not sustainable. You're not helping the business, you're not helping yourself. You're just causing problems. So take the initiative and make sure you assess the place, navigate the situation. Where can you add value? Where can you see an opportunity and be humble about it? You know, we are still in Africa. You are the young one. No one is going to be happy with all your big ideas and excitement and enthusiasm. You gotta pace yourself. Once you're in the system and you're part of the system, that's when you can start with your ideas and enthusias. People will be more like responding to you and more open to what you're trying to say because they already respect you and they trust you and they know, oh, this person is good at this or this person I like because they do this. This person shows up every day and make sure that this gets handled. They first have to get to know you, you have to fit into the system and then you can start to make changes. And I say this and I laugh because this was not how I started. And I suffered so much because I came with all my enthusiasm and I tried to change everything and it didn't work. So I advise you not to try that. I've changed many things with time. Once you get into the system, then you have more ability to pace yourself and play the long game where you're changing the culture and the policies and the way things get done. And for a reason, of course. Not just for fun, but it's very demoralizing for you and for the people who have to work with you. If you come in with all this energy and ideas without first acknowledging what they are doing because they're working hard, they're doing a lot, they're making that company run and that company probably paid your school fees. So you need to be grateful to the people that are already there, that are already putting in the work and that are moving the company forward. Not if you come in and just like have all these ideas and say, this doesn't work, this doesn't work. I want it to be like this. It's like you're not grateful for what they've done. You don't appreciate all that they are currently doing. And that also rubs people the wrong way and gives the wrong impression of you. So I would advise to first assess the landscape, navigate the situation and see where you can add value and then start putting in that value. And once you show that it builds trust, it builds respect. People get to know you, people get to understand you, they get to know you for what you're doing. Not as this is the boss's daughter, this is the Boss's son. He's just here because that's what they said. We just have to listen to him. And they all hate you. You don't want that because that's not sustainable. So you'd rather show what you are more. You're more than just the title or the family name. You are a person. You have skills, you have value. You are an asset to the company. So make sure you're showing that, not saying, showing it. There's a difference. So I think that is like one of the biggest challenges people have with family businesses. The other challenge that I get a lot of questions about is how you manage conflict within the family. That's no fun. And I think conflict with family members is similar to conflict in the workplace because you have to be able to have hard conversations. That's what it comes down to. The longer you let something fester, like build up, that keeps going, or you let your family member go unchecked and the way they're behaving or something they're doing or decision they made is affecting the company negatively. And now the other family members don't want to say anything because that's a family member. You're hurting the company. And I always think of it that the company is more than any of us as individuals. There's hundreds of us who work in our companies, for example. So I can't afford to keep quiet because I don't want to upset someone because the mistake they make is going to affect many other people's lives. It's going to affect the staff, the customers, the brand, the reputation, the products, the suppliers. You never know. And there's always consequences. So I feel like it makes more sense to put away your pride, even for a moment. I know my brothers are going to see this and laugh, but it's important that you try and you make an effort to do that so that you have those hard conversations. You are honest with each other and your opinions don't always have to be in alignment, but you always have to put the company first. So sometimes you have to remind each other. But okay, I've taken into your opinion, into, like, consideration. But at the end of the day, the decision lies with the person whose job, responsibility, it is to make that decision. So I think that can become messy in families because the hierarchy in families is not always the exact hierarchy in the family business. This auntie is powerful on the weekend, but when it comes to work time, she's not the one who makes decisions. So it can become awkward. And I think that is why A lot of family conflict happens because of the lack of communication. If you wait till it's so bad you're all screaming at each other in front of your lawyers or at a board meeting or you want to sue or you're fighting over money, it means something went wrong way long ago, like, way in the past. It's not that that explosion happened that day. There was clearly an issue happening beneath their surface, and it has been going on. And that is what you want to avoid. If you want to avoid the really bad family conflict, you have to deal with every small conflict as it comes. I think the longest I have fought with one of my brothers in the company is a week. Because both of us could not get our pride out of the way. We could not agree, and now we were not talking. But you can't not talk to each other. When we have to work together, the company needs us to work together. It becomes awkward when you're on a zoom call and you're arguing with your sibling or your relative and the rest of your team is there. And I also learned from that. I was very upset. But it hurts the company, it hurts the morale, it hurts the project you're working on. And you have to be able to put that before yourself. You have to be able to have that conversation. I don't agree with what you said. I don't agree with what you said. Okay, we have agreed to disagree. What can we actually do in a practical way? Who is higher in the company that is going to make the final decision or whose project is it that they're going to have to take on that responsibility? If it's your project, I can't now put my opinion more ahead of your opinion, because I can give you my opinion and my advice, but it's your project. You have to deal with it. It's your responsibility. So if you want to make your choice, go with it and not in a ha. See how you suffer. It's a wrong decision way. Like, I support you. I disagree. But if this is what you really want to do, okay, I'm going to put my opinion aside. Let's get on board and support your vision for how this project is going to go. Like when you have a new product launch or like a new something happening in the company and there's family members arguing about it. At the end of the day, there always has to be a leader. And it's not about how much you love each other or who is in charge at home or who is the older one or who is what. Whoever's role. It is whoever is responsible for that project, that product, that service, that new thing that's happening, that is the person who the decision lies with. So the rest of you all have to get behind that person. And with family businesses, it affects your staff so much because if the family is not on the same page, it gives mixed messages to all the different managers, the different teams, the different people who work in your different shops, on the buses or in the trucks, whatever it is. That energy goes all the way through the company and that's going to affect the team's morale. They are confused. They don't know who to listen to. Do we move forward on this? Do we move forward on this? This one said red, this one said blue. What do we do? They're all stuck. And now you're making their life harder. That's not their job to now be mediating between family members with formal companies that don't have family members. They have a structure and a CEO and a board and the instruction comes and it flows. There's none of this back and forth because you're all family members. But in family businesses, that's not the case. A lot of the time, a lot of the family is in the managerial positions or all on the board and they all have these other relationships that the team and the staff doesn't know about. Because family, you've been together all your lives, so you have to make sure that you're not leaking your family troubles into the company. Have conversations, honest conversations. Yes, it is hard, it is awkward. But let me tell you, you'd rather have a five minute awkward conversation than wait three months and that thing gets worse and worse and worse. And now you're sitting in a three hour meeting with six extra family members and you all are not agreeing. It is way worse. It is way more awkward. It will be way more painful. So you'd rather swallow now and have the hard conversation when you sense there's something going on. Even when you hear. You know how people can be passive aggressive and just have like a small snide comment at the end of the meeting. Let's talk. Let's. As we walk out of the office. So you're not on board with what Sandra had said in the meeting? Oh, no, Suzy, I really didn't like what she said because, you know, last weekend she did this to me and she said that to what? Okay, let it out. Okay. I understand you guys are having your personal issues, but you know, in the workplace we really need to be on the same page. You know, encourage the team. So I'd appreciate it if you didn't make comments like that in front of that team. It's demoralizing. It's not helpful. If you and Sandra have an issue, you need to go sit down and talk about it so that you don't bring those things to work. It's not professional. It's a quick, small thing. You're not insulting someone, you're not criticizing them. You're just asking them to do better. Because we are all human beings. We all let out things. We all have emotions, we all have relationships, we all have moods. Things happen. But the more you just let things slide, that's how they build up. And when you're working with family members, you can't fire one another. You're stuck. So you can't let things just keep going and festering. This is how you watch those movies or you see it on tv. How families have fought, torn the company in half, or had to sell off assets because one couldn't agree with the other one. Where was I last week? Someone said that, yes, I was in Mombasa, and this cab driver was telling me how the Muzungu nightclub owner died, but he had so many Kenyan baby mamas, and they all had different sons. And now all the sons were fighting over who gets the nightclub. And they couldn't agree. So the nightclub has been closed for three years now as they're trying to auction it off. And then they just split the money. And the cab driver was telling me it's very sad because it was the best nightclub in the whole of Mombasa. So the whole town was very upset about this family squabble. And they've lost so many people, lost jobs who all used to work in the nightclub. It has made the business of the area also go down because it was like a popping nightclub. And just because the family couldn't disagree. And I was like, that's very sad. I'm so sorry. And I get that these things happen. I think it's different when many. I think in situations like that, the family members don't really know each other either, so it's harder. But if you're blessed enough to have a family member who you get to interact with and talk to every day, make sure you keep those relations good. Don't let things build up and fester. The bigger they get. It's like a wound if you don't. Clint. And deal with it when it's small, it gets infected and it spreads. And then you have to chop off the Whole leg, you know, so don't let things get so bad. And I know it's harder. And I think it's also harder to work with family members because you have all this extra baggage and stuff with you. But it's also interesting and fun. You know each other's strengths. You know what each other is good at. It's just that you have to have this professional line where you switch in and out of, and it's something that you have to cultivate and work on with time. But you're able to build that up. It's a useful skill. And if you work in a family business, I think it's something you should take and be proactive about instead of just taking every day as it comes. How can we make this business work? How can we make this business last? How can we make this business grow? What can you as an individual do to make sure your relationships within your family members who work in the business stay strong and stay positive and stay professional so that it's what's best for the company? Because you're not just working the company for your own sake. It's for your family, your own husband, wife, children, your relatives, the staff, their families. There's so many consequences. A business encompasses so much, so many stakeholders. So don't let family squabbles get in the way of that. Just be more intentional about it and having hard conversations. I promise you, no one has ever died from a hard conversation. It's just awkward. You take a few deep breaths, you get through it and you move on. But you have to let these things out. Try and be calm about it. Try and be clear. Get to the point. Don't run around in circles. There is a lot of integrity in truth. If you're speaking your truth and you really mean it with your heart, even if it's a hard thing you have to say or a harsh thing, someone can hear it and not get immediately so defensive or shut down because you needed to say it. You need to let it out, and you know it's what's best. If you're cautious or you're hesitant, take a day to think about it, you know, sleep on it. See how you feel the next day. Yeah, I really need to speak up and tell John what he said was not okay. Or tell Suzy that when she does this, it affects the stuff like this. You have to try and step up and do that, and that's leadership. When you work in a family business, you are all leaders, even if you are not the leader of the family business. The rest of the team looks to you as a leader because they know they have to do what the family is dictating. That's the culture in the company. So as a family member, it's up to you to be a leader because you have to lead by example. You have to be that person and also help your fellow members. Because whenever someone is going through something, it's going to be harder for them to be the bigger person to step up, to say, okay, what we did today was not right. Let's talk about this, or let's get on the same page before we go into the meeting. Because we our emails back and forth, we're not agreeing. You know, just take some steps, take some initiative to make sure that you are being intentional in these relationships and that you are managing them. It's not just that you're a family member, it's a given. You're just going to have a relationship. As you get older, as you start working, you become an adult, you have other priorities, other opinions, other perspectives. Even if you grew up in the same household as someone, you will not agree on every single thing. So it's important that you cultivate that professional relationship and you practice having those conversations because it has a huge consequence and it's much better for the business and everyone involved. All right, I think we have a question. How do you deal with family takers who always run to the business only for funds? Thank you for that question, Simon. I think all families have that. Those ones I would not count as partners in the business. I call those dependents, those ones. The best way I find to manage them is you put them on regular money. Let's be honest, no one wants to pay an adult to do nothing. But if you know that this is your relative, you're not gonna let them starve. You need them to have enough money to live. Put them on a regular amount of money, on a regular timing, like every two weeks. I'll give you this money. I send it in mobile money so that you're okay. Then you can sleep at night knowing at least they have food, they have a house, they're okay, they are managing. But you don't want them coming in and out of the business, disrupting the business. That's the problem when people come only for funds. Oh, I need school fees now. Oh, this one is sick. Oh, I need to go up country. They just come and pop in whenever is convenient to them. They are making their poor planning your emergency and that is not right and that is not fair. You're Running a business, you have people to pay, you have salaries to pay, you have suppliers to pay. You have things to do. You have your own motivation, your own priorities, your own things to do. But they are your relative. You don't want them to suffer. We live in harsh conditions. There's nowhere else for them to turn. But you gotta manage that. Because the truth is, relatives are not going anywhere. They're gonna be like that forever. They will always come to you. Every single time it's time for school fees, they will come to you. So the best thing you can do if you know that you have to, is plan for it. This is this much money I've allocated for family members. And every month this is how much we're going to give out to them. Just have it sorted and settled. Otherwise you're just going to have your business disrupted all the time and then they become a nuisance. Oh, my God, it's an emergency. I need all these medical bills. You have to pay all this much money now? Half the time it's not even true. They just need some money for whatever else they want. So if you find a system that you can manage them and I gave you money last week, please, you know your money is coming next week. Don't come to me this week. And you can do it when your conscience is clear, because you know that you've given them something and they're going to manage on that something. So, Simon, I would say that's how you manage it. You can't just have family members coming in and out of the business to check. Just take the funds. Also, if you have family members who think they work in the business and you're paying them, but they're not actually working, I also have problems with that. Let's not pretend. I actually need someone qualified in that role to make sure the business is working. You become a dependent this site, until you figure out what you want to do with your life. Also just giving people money is not the most sustainable. So if you can pay for them to get like a course vocational skills so that sooner or later they also earn their own money, that is, you know, the ideal situation. Because you also don't want to just have that list of dependents growing and growing and growing. That's the truth. And word spreads in relatives, man, Africans all have huge families. And once you start giving one member money, then the sister, then the brother, then the cousin, then there are six who have come from the village who are living with them. And now you also have to give them word spreads really Quickly. So you don't want to become that family member. You need to make sure that you have a good system and that you actually check and that they're moving forward with their lives. Because no one wants to be a dependent forever. No one wants to be an adult asking for money every two weeks. So, you know, it also helps if you give them a few hours of time, of your time, and you advise them and encourage them, okay, what school are you going to go to? What skill do you want to get? How do I help you get a job? How do I help you start a business? You know, how can we make your life better also so that not just that they're not a drain on you, but they can become an asset. They can also start to support other family members once they have a job and a business and they're good and well. So it's always an investment. I would like to think of it not just you're giving money out, especially with adults, it should be an investment. If it's children and you're paying school fees, just basics for home, fine. But with adults it should be an investment. Otherwise we're not helping ourselves, we're not helping them, we're not moving forward, all of us together. So you want to invest and encourage and make sure that that money is going somewhere that is going to come back to them, not that they're just using some expenses every day. So take some time to deal with those kinds of family members. And it's another hard conversation because no one wants to tell their family member, I'm not going to pay for you forever. Like, what's the plan? These are the next three months. I'm going to give you this much. By then you should have finished the course and we should have a job for you by now. You know, have those conversations and push them. Be responsible. It's helpful. So those are my tips on family partnerships. The videos are somewhere we are going to post them. They should be on my different pages or on YouTube for more details and tips on that. And we should have another one next week and another Q and A. So if you have any other question, please feel free to send them. And if you are a lady, please join the her Facebook group group. I will put the link somewhere in this post so that it's easy for you and your friends to join where we have lots of different tips and career advice and entrepreneurship advice and you can share what you're doing and your business and your questions and it's like a nice fun space for us to learn together. Have a nice weekend, everyone.