Improving your communication skills

Hi, I'm Dr. Natalie Bittere, and today we're talking about communication skills for students. So, as a student, how can you be a better communicator? This is a huge thing because the sooner you learn how to do this, it will benefit you for the rest of your life. It is a wonderful thing to invest in now, and it's a soft skill, so it's not something that you're going to be taught formally or that is going to be a requirement, but it's something that you can always get better at. It's something that makes a huge difference in your career, in your job, in your business, in your life. So the sooner you learn to do it and you improve, the better. So the first thing I would say is be aware about communication. So Google it, read about it, learn about it, listen to a podcast, watch a video. There are so many communication skills. There's communication styles, there's things you can say, things you can do. Your body language, the way you put sentences together, the way you talk, the way you behave to people and the way they understand what you are saying. You have to be able to sell yourself. You have to be able to communicate clearly. You have to be able to get people to understand what you say and what you mean. So there's two parts of that. There's what you're putting out there and what people are taking in. You can't control so much how people perceive you, but you can take the feedback. If every time you say something people don't understand you, you're saying something wrong in a wrong way. If you're not getting what you want from people or the results you expect or the reaction you expect, then there's a way you're not communicating it well. And there's so many small things you can learn along the way that help. I did public speaking courses because I had to do lots of presentations and different things, and I had to learn how to get better at it because it was important for what I was doing for people to understand what I'm saying. So my English, my accent, the way I pronounce words, so the basic basics first and then also to understand the message that I'm delivering. The content, the words I've chosen to use, do they make sense? Does the audience understand then, like, the tone of my voice, how loud it should be or how low I was speaking, and the tone, like, are you talking in, like, a very serious tone, or are you talking in, like, a way where it goes up and down with the story or with what you're saying there's so many weird little things. Even your body language, in the way that you use your hands, your gestures, the openness, the closeness if you're moving. There's so many things I learned about communicating from public speaking. And there are all these small things that you can adjust. So this first step is always awareness. And this is what I'm always saying for young people, you need to know the amount you think you know is like it could fill a small bucket only and there's a whole ocean out there. And the problem is when you're young, you think you know so much and yet you really don't know. You don't even know how little you know. But that's humility and that older you get, the more you realize how little you know. And I feel like I'm not trying to be patronizing, but it was also a shock to me. So first, arm yourself with awareness. There are all these different ways young women speak up. That's the first thing. People have to hear you. I know we are discouraged from a young age, but you have to fight that because if no one can hear you, you not communicating and your point will never get moved and you'll never be visible. And it's very, very difficult to move forward after that. People should not have to ask you in a meeting. Huh? What? I can't hear. So first speak up. Practice doing it and projecting your voice to make sure people can hear you. Because what you have to say is important. Some young men also have this challenge. So also you, you know, speak up. But it's an important thing. So first arm yourself with the awareness. What are all the areas of communication and which are the ones that you need to improve on? It it that you talk too slow or you don't know how to say the things. Are you scared? Are you? Some people will say one point for 20 minutes. They'll go around and round and round. But really you could have said it in two minutes. You want to be concise, you want to get to the point, you want to get there. You know what I mean? Don't waste people's time. And you have to make sure that people are understanding. Haven't you ever been somewhere and someone is so academic or they're so technical in their company and they're using all these abbreviations and words that you just don't know what they mean? That's not good. That means they are a poor communicator. Cuz you have to know your audience. Who are you speaking to? The way you speak to your friends on a Friday night is not the way you're going to speak to the admissions committee. When you're applying for a masters or in an interview for a job, you have to be able to use formal language, full sentences, not use slang. Be clear, be concise. You know there are certain basics that you can learn and you can perfect when you're young, regardless of personality, don't let anyone lie to you that you're shy. Show shyness is not a personality factor. Haven't you ever seen someone, oh, that one is shy, but when they're with their friends or family, they know exactly how to talk. Shyness is not a personality trait. I don't know who invented that. They just use it to oppress people. You are not shy. You can practice speaking up, you can practice your confidence, the way you communicate, the way you get to talk to people. Because guess what, if you don't communicate well, you are going to have a long, difficult path to get anything in life. You have to communicate, you have to know what you want and you have to be able to communicate it to the right audience to get the thing that you want, whether it's a job, a car, a house, a wife, whatever it is. So communication skills are key. I know you might not want to hear this, but reading helps. Reading is the easiest way to expand your vocabulary, to expand the way you understand words, the way you understand sentences, the way you understand stories. And we are human beings, we are all story driven. We all want to understand, oh, this happened to that person. This did that. This company did this. And this is how it impacts their customers. So it's always about the story. You can't sell something without a story. I learned this even with Musanna. We had to use a specific vendor. And I remember we used Magazi's face on like a hundred different pitches, but no one will understand. A street vending cart in Africa, far away there in California. We have, we had to put a picture of Magazi and say, this is Magazi. He has this many children. This is his work. He makes a Rolex. This is what it looks like. This is his current cart, how he makes the Rolex. Now, if you give us money, this is what we can do for Magazi. It's the story that you have to put together. And we do this all the time. Whether you work in a bank, whether you have your own business, you're trying to sell face products to women. This is Stella. Look at Stella's skin before and look at Stella's skin After, that's what's going to sell your product, right? Not just this nice bottle of Cerave or Neutrogena or whatever you're putting on your Instagram. You have to tell the story. You have to be able to communicate it to your customers. This is the tea that I sell. This is the way we get the tea. We buy it in this district from these kinds of farmers. Then we add this, then we sell this and we package it this way. That is storytelling. These are all types of communication. So these are things you can learn. People practice this. Yes, some people are extroverted and talkative, or some people have these characteristics. They. But they still have to practice to get better. They can just be naturally. It's easier, but it's not that it's easy. And to be a good communicator, it takes work for everyone. So it's encouraging because it means you can improve. It's not that you are born with a disadvantage or you're born with that. I can never be a good communicator. So make sure you put in the time and the effort. Reading helps a lot. If you can't read books, it's a big stretch. Start by reading articles, read blog posts, read tweets. Get used to getting comfortable with words because that's what's going to help you to put your own words better together. It's hard. I'm not saying I'm great at this. I've also put in a lot of work. I can see the improvements in what I do and what I say. The other day I was telling one of my friends, I use the words nice and interesting too much and it's too vague. I can be more specific. What do I mean when I say something is nice? Do I mean that it was successful? Did I mean it tasted well? Was it sweet? Was it good? Was it What? What? What do I mean? It means I'm not using language effectively, so I'm not communicating clearly. So I have to put in effort to use better words to replace that in my life. But these are things I have to be aware of. So first, be aware of where your gaps, how can you improve and what's important. If you're doing job interviews right now, if you're doing pictures or presentations, you have to know what is the type of language, the type of communicating you need to do, and then you improve in that. Writing is a form of communication. That is a skill that is needed across every sector. How do you become a better writer? Whether you're writing tweets or copy your captions for Facebook or Instagram because you work in social media. Or you're writing reports, you're writing emails, you're writing letters, you're writing memos, you're writing grant proposals. There's so many different things. Writing is a form of communication, so see how you can improve in that. Communicating is so important. It's a soft skill, but it's something that's needed across every sector and across every aspect of your life. So the more proactive you are in learning about different communication styles and how you can improve in them, the better off you'll be. Hope you found that useful. 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