Leading from the Middle

Great back. So make the most of it. Use what you're learning, Apply it, try it. It's hard, but you learn and you get used to being in the process. So when you suck at something, it's painful and you're sad about it and you don't want to do it, but that's how you learn. If you don't get used to being lousy or not being expert, you'll never be an expert or finish up on something you hadn't done at work. It's like a bonus Sunday. Love public holidays, although I think we have a lot of them. Strange. Anyway, I hope everyone had a good week. I hope that everyone managed to do some reflections, you know, and there's a public holiday on a Friday. Thursday becomes Friday. So I hope you did them yesterday or like in the evening. Yesterday, when you were done with work and you're done with the week, did you think about how your week went, what you got done, what was productive, what worked, what didn't work? You know, I love doing this and reflecting every week because there's always a small thing you can assess or learn or change. And then what I like to do is I just keep adjusting them. So, like, I'll track for a couple of weeks, okay? Waking up at this time. Worked. Or doing reports in the morning and then calls in the afternoon. Worked. Or it's better if I drink water at this time, or go to the gym at this time, or meet people in the evenings or have dinner with this person or read this book in the evening or in the morning. You know, you get to, like, assess and see what works for you in your life. And the easiest way to do that is just to experiment and track. Experiment and track. Make sure you know what you're checking this week. Did this work? What are you. What are you trying to grow, improve at or change, or stop? What habits are you trying to build? You have to ask yourself these questions all the time so that you're aware of what you're doing, so that you're not just passive. Although yesterday someone told me that she thought that introspection, that's overdone can also be negative. And I agreed. I was like, if you get stuck just reflecting and asking yourself questions and you're not acting, and you're not acting on the information, then it's problematic. That's what is called analysis paralysis, where you just overthink things and you don't actually act on them. And that is not what I am encouraging. Let me be clear what I'm Saying is healthy reflection coupled with action. There's no point in reading books and listening to things and asking yourself questions in journaling if you're not going to apply anything to your life, if you're not going to act on it, you're not going to do stuff, you're not going to make a change, you're just wasting your time. And so why lie to yourself if you don't want to do it, you're not ready for it, it's okay. Don't pretend, don't lie, don't say, I'm going to attend all these classes and then never like apply anything you learned in the classes. Other people who are looking up to you and who you are leading or who you are inspiring or guiding. So we're always leading from the middle and I think it's an interesting phrase because we don't have to wait till we are technically a leader. Don't wait till you have a title or you're president of the council or your Rotary Club or you get a promotion. You can always be a leader, even in your own day to day life. And it doesn't take authority, it doesn't take a title. It just takes the right attitude, the right effort and you show up. It's about being present every day and doing what you need to do. I think the best way of leadership is leading by example. I've learned that through my own experience. You can't force other people to do things and people learn from you. If you see children, children pick up on what you do, not what you say. You tell them, do this, don't do this, don't do this. But if they see you doing it, they are going to do it. So think about all human beings like that. Just because we're in adult bodies doesn't mean our brains have learned a new way of learning things. Leading by example shows that what you are doing, you actually mean it and what you're saying, so you're in alignment, it shows that you can actually do it, which means it's doable. If someone can see you do something, it means it's possible. It means they can see it, absorb it, their brain sees it and it becomes reality. It's something that's tangible. So if you are leading by example, the people around you see how you're doing something and you can always pick up on different things. This is what I love about having mentors. You know, you'll go to a mentor for one particular thing, like, okay, I want to learn about agriculture. You're a Great agriculture, like entrepreneur. Teach me about this stuff. So they'll talk to you, they'll take you for coffee, they'll show you their farm, they'll show you the production, they'll be giving you all this technical stuff. But you learn so much more just by being around them. The way they walk, the way they talk, the way they check things. What are they looking at when they walk through the factory? Why are they dressed that way? How do they speak to their team? What type of phone calls are they answering? How are they multitasking? What are they doing? How have they planned their day? There's so many other things you pick up on just by spending time with them. So you see, that's what leading by example is. Because you don't know what other people are picking up from you at any point in time. If you say, I'm a hard worker, I'm this, I'm diligent, I show up all the time. But everyone in your office knows that you're always the one who's late. You're always the one who hands in things late, always who forgets their part in the report, who doesn't speak up in the meeting. Then your words and your actions are not in alignment and no one can follow you and trust you. Because leadership is about trust. It's about the people around you trusting your judgment, your vision, your guidance. And that leads them to bring out the best in themselves so that you all get the shared vision, the shared project, the shared goal. You all work your way towards it. You all give your best, your skills, your talents, your efforts, your attitude, and you achieve what you've gone for. So we're all leading in the middle at all times. There's people above you, there's people below you. And I don't mean that in like station, I mean it in like experience or in skill or in how they view you and how you view them. So as the way you see someone who you are inspired by who you aspire to be like, that's how someone is seeing you. Maybe it's a younger sibling or a relative or something, someone in your office or someone in your church or in your community. You never know. So leading by example, I feel like, is the safest way to lead. It's the most authentic, it's the truest. And it also keeps you accountable. You can't be saying things and then acting in a different way. You have to live by example. If you know that you're doing that, then it holds you to your own truth as well. So don't oversell yourself and then not live up to it. Lead by example. Lead as you are. And we are all learning, we are all growing. It also takes humility to know as a leader, you don't know everything. You can ask questions, you can ask for help. You can reach out to the team. You can see what other people think. You can say, we need to get more information about this. Oh, my God. People who are always, like, so quick to say, I know everything because they're too scared, say, I don't know in a meeting. I'm just like, if you're giving me the wrong information, you're just taking us down, like, the wrong road. Say, I don't know. Let me get back to you tomorrow. That is, in leadership, that shows you're responsible. So there are many small things, but I think when you think about leading from the middle, you have to think about starting with where you are and accepting that. And that's a hard thing because we're not always encouraged. We don't always see those examples. You know, everyone wants to see the perfect, shiny finished product, but you don't see the work in progress, how many versions it took to get there. And as people, we're always a work in progress. We're always going to improve who you are today. Who I am today is not who I'm going to be in a week, in a month, in a year, in 10 years. I'm a work in progress. The way I lead now is not the way I'm going to lead in 10 years. I hope, I hope I've improved. I'll have learned things, I will experience things. I've asked questions that I've grown. So I will change doesn't mean I'm a poor leader now. Means I was who I was then. I was already a leader in my early 20s. Now I'm like, oh, my God, I can't believe I said this or I did that or how did I handle this? But it's the only way I learned, and it's the only way I got to where I am today. So it's about accepting that and not putting all this pressure in your mind. One day I'll be a good leader. One day I'll be this start today. Be the good leader today. Do the best you can today, because that's all anyone can ask. That's all you can ask yourself, and that's what anyone can ask of you. So do what you can to be the best leader you can be. And by doing that, you hold yourself to your own standard. And you are the one who moves that standard ahead. As you get promoted, as you move forward, as you're responsible for more people, more projects, more higher budgets. These things happen with time, but it doesn't happen unless you're proactive about it. So you have to be intentional in I am trying to be this kind of a leader. Don't just say, this is how I am. That's not what I'm saying. Accept that this is where I am at, not this is how I am. That's the difference between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset. You want to have a growth mindset where you know you are an ever evolving being, not a fixed mindset of this is who I am and that's it. So if you know where you're at, what do you want to aspire to be? How do you want to grow? What information do you need? What do you need to be exposed to, to see that and to become that person and start to live that to the best of your ability today? That is what I'm saying. Leading by example, leading from the middle, starting where you are, start trying to embody those things. You won't be perfect at the beginning. You'll start, you'll backslide, you'll start, you forget, you'll start, you'll stop, you'll say something wrong to someone or forget to do something or not check something or handle it the wrong way. It happens. We are works in progress. No one is perfect. Even the leader you're aspiring to be makes mistakes, forgets things, is trying to grow. He's trying to do better. But that's why it's important to reflect and act. If you are aware of how you're doing it and how you're showing up and how you're behaving, you can see, okay, maybe I need to do this better. Maybe I need to check this. Maybe I need to see about that. That's how you will grow in your leadership. Because leaders are made, not born. I maintain that that is my position. You can do your own research and come to your own conclusion. But leaders get made because of the environment they're in, because of the effort they're putting in, the action they're taking, the stress that they're receiving, and how they're overcoming those obstacles. That's what shows a leader. I'm sure we've all been on a team where the person who is the leader, the captain, the person who's in charge, is not actually a good leader. They are passive or they're not supportive or they're not instructive. And someone else in that situation steps up. That's why it's called stepping up. They step up to the plate. You know, you step up. I think that's a sports metaphor. And they take charge, they support the team, they encourage everyone. They bring out the best, they lead, they show the vision, they drive the project. So it's not about being appointed as the leader. It's not about being told, you are the leader now lead. I don't think that ever happens to people. Yes, you might get a promotion, but no one's going to see. Here is the key. You are the leader now. Lead us where we are going. Thing that happened in the Bible days, who knows? So when someone steps up and sees that opportunity and starts to behave like a leader, that's how they become a leader. That's how they influence the group around them, to listen to them, to be guided by them. And you can always tell those. I always find it interesting in like big corporate situations where there's lots of like, supervisors and like at the same level. But you can always see the person who is the real leader in the office. Like, everyone goes to them for advice. They check their approval before things. They look to them in meetings, like before they laugh or before they agree with something they want to first see what does. I think in high school you could see it like the cool kids. But now in real life, it becomes the leaders, the ones who are more influential. That's who people look to and who listen. They listen to who they are guided by, who they aspire to be like. So you don't have to be that person appointed the leader, but there's always that stronger individual who has worked on themselves or who is acting and showing up and being present in the way that they are every day that other people are drawn to. But you can easily be that person if you put in some effort, you put in some work, you push yourself. Let me try this. Let me speak up, let me step up, let me advise this person. Let me show how I did this. Because you need people to understand your value and what you're bringing and how you are and. And that's how they see that you are a leader. So even if you are in the middle, because we are always in the middle of something, even people, up, up, up, up, up at the top, I assure you there's someone who will call them and say, come here, do this. And they'll do it, whether it's a funder or a Government or an organization or another leader in the world or in a different situation. We are always in the middle of something. It's like being a work in progress. You're always on the way. You're always in the journey. There's no. There's a destination because you're trying to go in a direction. But remember that 99% of life is the journey. It's not the destination, it's not reaching. So every day along the way, you have to be working on yourself and showing up as you wish to be. Don't be like, okay, in four years, when I get the promotion, that's when I'll start to be that good leader. I'll start time, I'll start speaking in the meetings, I'll start sharing my ideas to be too late. Because those four years, you won't have the promotion because no one knows that you can do any of those things. Start doing it now. Start being the best leader you can be now. And then you will always be one. Upping yourself. You will always be outdoing yourself. I don't know if you guys have watched Friends, but in Friends, there's like this very intense lady called Monica. And on Thanksgiving she cooks. And so her friends always love it when she cooks because she's a professional chef. But one year she doesn't really feel like cooking. She feels like she always puts in all the effort, but people don't really appreciate it and she's very competitive. So now they convince her she's competing with herself of last year. You have to out cook yourself. So outdo yourself. And I love that example because it made her so nuts and she put in so much effort and she outdid herself. But we're always doing that. If you always, if you think about like, let me put in half my effort so that next time I can do better. You're shooting yourself in the foot. Give it your all. Do your best. Show up, kill it. Push. Do everything, every trick you can think of, every idea you have, all the prep you can put in and give it your best. And then you'll be so impressed with what you're able to do. Then the next time, top that. That's who you're competing with. That's how you want to do it. That's how you want to grow. You want to outdo yourself. You're only competing with yourself. So even as a leader, show up every day at the best way you can show up. And then tomorrow, how can I be even better than I was yesterday? I don't mean it like literally day to day, but like as you reflect, like every week or every month or every year, this year, this is what my leadership style was, so is how I led my team. This is what we're able to achieve. This is how we've grown. So now for the next year, how can we even take that to the next level? You push and you grow and you see the team improving. It's so encouraging, it's so exciting. And also you impress yourself. Sometimes you'll work so hard, you didn't even know you had it in you and now you're like, so you mean I can do this? You mean I can be this good at this? You mean I can show up like this? I can impress people like this? Why? Wow. What else can I do? If I put in that much effort, I put in all this effort for this one presentation and I got all this great feedback. Next time I'm going to put in all that effort, plus a bit more. I'll start a week earlier to prepare, I'll do more research, I'll involve more people. And you keep pushing yourself and that's how you grow. That's how you look back and you're like, damn, this is how far I've come. Wow. I'm shocked. I didn't know I could. I didn't know I could do this. I didn't know I could be this person. But you can be. It just takes that proactive effort, it takes that intention to reflect, assess, push, grow, act, be in an action oriented mindset. How can I work on this? How can I do better at this? How do I push myself in this area? And that dynamic of reflecting and acting gives you the information you need to push you, to show you what you're actually achieving. It's like how on people's cvs, they're like, I'm a dynamic, hard working, driven, motivated person. How do you know that you have facts to back that up? Do you have an example you can tell me. In a situation where you are dynamic or hard working or motivated, it's important. You have to track these things. You have to have those, those facts and that should help guide you and direct you. Some people think they're doing so much and when you actually look at the output or the achievement, like, what are you actually doing? Not that much. And yet other people who are used to tracking that and used to doing a lot are used to just going so far and like, oh my gosh, yeah, I achieved so much this year. I didn't even Realize because you just get in the momentum of doing it. But to get that momentum, you have to start. You have to start the acting. So even as a leader, say, I am a leader, accept it, Start today. What type of leader am I? How can I be a good leader today? How did I lead my team today? Did I show up? Was I present? Was I listening to them? Was I encouraging? Was I serious? Was I. Did I speak up when it was uncomfortable? Did I show them the right way when they were going in the wrong direction? Did I guide? Did I support? These are things you ask yourself and you look back and you see, did I actually do it? Yesterday I asked one of someone I was with. Do you think I was too harsh in that conversation? Because now I am reflecting. I pushed back, they managed. I'm not sure. Like, no, I don't think you were harsh. Like the person needed to hear it and like you said it in a calm way. So okay, I take it. But I wanted to check, I wanted to assess and reflect to see what type of person am I being? Am I showing up the way I want to show up? Am I being authentic in the person that I am? Will I regret this moment? Will I regret this story? In six months, I met her and we talked about this and she was so harsh and she said that will I feel like, no, no, I was okay. That's what I needed to communicate. It's important to reflect as these things happen so that next time you do better, you realize as you're doing it, you realize as you're growing and as it's happening. At least that's what I find helps. Let me see if we have question. Hello, Meraki. I would like to learn the impact of the mind to do big things. Your mind controls your reality. So if you want to do big things, you have to be ambitious in your mind. But you also have to be action oriented. Have your big dream, your big vision, and then break it down. This is where people get stuck. There's so many people I meet who are like, I have this great idea, this business, this what? This thing. I'm going to be this how, my friend? How are you going to be all those things when you've not done anything, you've not done research, you've not talked to anyone, you don't have a business plan, you've not made a list, you've not checked the prices, you don't know. Like it's just an idea in your mind. If you want to do big things, you first have to learn how to do little things, have this huge big goal, but break it all the way down so that in a week, in a month, in a year, you see actual progress. This is the big dream I have. How far have I reached? I've raised this much money. I've got this many customers. I've started with this size. I've got this shop, I have this stock, I have this service. I've satisfied this many. My customers say, I'm this. You have to have data action. You have to collect that. It's not about achievement. I'm not saying try and win awards or show people. I have this. Why I did this. It's about what you're actually doing. Oh, this week I watched Mark Wahlberg's documentary. One of his friends had a T shirt made that said, what are we doing? Because he's like, Mark is always saying, what are we doing? I love that. I always loved Mark Wahlberg. I knew there was a reason. Action oriented. Whenever he's doing something, he's always asking, what are we doing? As soon as he finishes one movie, what are we doing? What's the next project? What's the next business? What's the next venture you have to be doing? Too many people spend their whole life saying, if you don't want to be a doer, then don't say it. Be like, this is how I am. I'm never going to achieve those big things. It's okay. But as Meraki is asking, you want to do big things. If you want to do big things, start doing. That is the key part. Start doing the small things. Start doing them. And as you grow, those small things get bigger and bigger and bigger. You'll be surprised at how much you can actually do. But you have to get action oriented. You have to get up in California. They say you have to get out of the building because too many people sit in the office. You have this idea and that's where it dies. Get out of the building, go outside on the street, talk to people about it, find customers, get feedback. You need to be doing. That's the key part of it. So break it down until it's something manageable that you can actually do. If it's a huge task, I'm going to raise 500 million shillings in three months. Okay, how are you going to do it? I'm not saying it's impossible. How do you actually do it? Who do you speak to? Where do you go? What email do you send? Who do you call? What do you actually do to achieve that goal? You need to get into the doing, break it down till it's small enough that you can do it, you can manage it. It's not too scary, it's not too hard. It's not. I have to wait until I meet the right person or I have to wait till my network grows or until I get this promotion, until I save this much. Gotta get into doing. Once you start doing, you start moving, you gain momentum and that's how you get to the big thing that you're trying to do. Okay, next question from Muhareza. Leading in the middle, in the front and the back, what's better? I don't think there's a better or worse. I think you have to lead from where you are. Sometimes you're at the back, sometimes you're at the front, sometimes you're in the middle. What you have to do is see where you are and what's the best strategy to lead. For example, leading from the front is when you have been appointed. You are the team captain, you're the project leader, you are the CEO, you are the supervisor. It is now your responsibility. That is the front. So now you have to face your staff, make the strategy, decide the plan. Where are we going? What are we doing? How are we going to get there? Now it's your job to make sure everyone is doing their bit. That's leading from the front when you're leading from the back. That's one of the examples I was giving. Like when you're the junior member and you're supposed to be on a team and someone else is the leader, but they're not really doing it. So now you have to become the leader to get the project done. But you can't do it in like an overt way because that's just going to piss off the actual leader. You don't want to step on your boss's toes, right? You are the junior person. But you can still inspire, you can still guide, you can still be of use, you can still help people achieve the shared vision. And when you're in the middle, that's what I mean. Like middle management or there's someone you report to, but they also. People report to you. You know what I mean? Or like when you're an entrepreneur, you still have your customers that you need to like satisfy and listen to and be driven by, but you also have your staff and your team who you drive and who you have to listen to and you have to guide and get them to where they want to get. So it's not about better, it's about recognizing where you are as a leader and what's the best strategy for you to lead in that situation. All right. I hope that makes it clear. I hope you've enjoyed the Leadership series. Send me any questions that you still have on DMs, on LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube. I think that's the platforms and I'll be happy to answer them. Stay tuned, ladies. Join the heart group. We have so much content every week, every day. It's very fun, it's engaging. We're learning so much together. And if you want to find other information, a lot of my previous videos are on YouTube, so it helps if you want to go back and listen to them. Oh, I still have one more question. What is one piece of advice you would give a soon to be university graduate preparing to enter the working world? Hi Namata. That's an interesting question. I would say if you're a university graduate preparing to enter the world, say yes to every opportunity you need to be getting experience. That's the most important thing. Go out there, get an internship, get a mentor, follow someone, shadow someone, walk in a shop, get up in all different directions. Go to every party, every wedding, every funeral. Talk to as many people as you can. Learn as much as you can. Because what you have at that stage in life is time and energy in abundance. Before you have a job, before you have obligations, before you have bills to pay, go out there, Say yes to everything. Try everything. Try new things, meet new people, go to new circles, join different groups, try. Just get out there and grow yourself. Do that by experiencing things, growing your network, meeting people, learning things. Say yes to everything. That's a good note to end on. So have a lovely long weekend.