When Life Gets Tough You Get Tougher | #10

Foreign. Hi, I'm Dr. Tali and this is our final video in this series. The title is when life gets tough, you need to be tougher. And I think I wanted to end with this one because resilience is like the cornerstone of success in any kind of area of your life. You need to have resilience in your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual in anything that you do. Because life is never gonna just be easy. Unfortunately, I don't know why we are trained or conditioned to think that it will. I don't think it gets easier or it gets smoother or better. There will always be, like obstacles. There's always going to be something that happens that doesn't go according to plan, that you didn't know could happen or you weren't prepared for, but you know it's okay. You have to trust that you are strong enough to handle whatever life throws at you and that whatever the next wave is, you will ride it and you will be okay, and you will succeed and you will get through it somehow. You've come this far, right? So I try not to be too grim about resilience, but also I think we have to be realistic about it. And it takes courage. I think that's one of the big things. I think courage and gratitude are like the fuel for resilience. If you feed those and you keep them going and you stand in that a lot, you will become more resilient with time. And it's easier to keep getting back up because for sure, life is going to knock you down. That's just what it does. It will prop you up. Sometimes there will be things even greater than you ever imagined or planned. And then sometimes there'll be things that don't go according to your plan. So I think having a practice of gratitude helps immensely. There is something in your life today that you used to pray for, you used to dream for, you used to wish for. That's the truth. You just have to look for it. You just have to be aware about it every single day. Try and look for what you're grateful for. Thank people in the moment before you go to bed. Thank God for your own life, you got through the day, you survived. Thank God for your own health. Thank the people around you. Thank nature. Sometimes I'm just grateful for. It's a beautiful day, I'm stuck in my office, I'm stressed the hell out. But, like, the sky is so blue, it's so clear, it's so sunny. I'm so happy I live here, you know, you have to look for some things to be grateful for. Because when you see the positive in your life, you become more of a positive person. And positivity, I feel like, begins more positivity. The more positive you are, the more good things will happen to you. Yeah, I believe that. That's how I live. I believe I have to create my own luck and make sure I stay positive and not get caught up in negative emotions or energy or spaces. It does happen. Not saying I'm perfect. Everyone's life has ups and downs. But the thing is, when the downs, you have to have fuel in the tank to get yourself up, because no one can get you up except yourself. You might have to go back to work the next day after you've been deflated. But mentally, physically, your energy will just be gone. You're the who can rise that back up. And you need to know what you need to get it up. So I feel like gratitude is a huge piece of that because there's always something to be grateful for. Even in the darkest of times, in the hardest of corners, if you have a practice of knowing and being grateful for different things in your life means so much. We take for granted. When you think your problems are hard, there's someone in your life who has a way worse day than you, for sure. You have to also take that type of perspective and not compare yourself to other people. But to be grateful for what you have, what you have achieved, what you have earned, what you have been blessed with, so that you have that fuel inside you, so that when things are tough, when times are hard, you do have something to be like. No, I do have something. At the end of the day, I still have my skills. I still have this ability. I can still get up and try this. The world is not over. We can be very dramatic to ourselves. I think maybe it's just my mind. My mind can be very dramatic. Oh, my God. This didn't work out. What are we going to do? The world is ending. Yeah, it doesn't work that way. Have to keep getting back up. And I think the other part of that is courage. Because I don't think courage is something that we're trained in or taught or communicated to from a young age. But life takes courage. It's hard and it's scary. And if you don't learn to face your fears as they're happening, you can be scared. And you will live a smaller life than you were meant to because you've not cultivated the courage to step up, to speak up, to. To stand forward, to move forward. In the things that you need to do for yourself. You have to cultivate that courage. That's not something anyone can give you. I can't bottle it up and tell it to you. All I can do is encourage you to find your own courage, to know your why, to know what you're trying to live for, what your purpose is, what you're motivated by, what's getting you through the day, what you look forward to, and let that fuel you and drive you. And when you feel scared, take a deep breath. It's okay to feel scared, but don't let that fear stop you. Don't let it stop you from trying things or saying things or doing things with your life. Because you only get this one wild and precious life. Cultivate that courage because that's what's going to help you to become more resilient. The more times you fall down, the more times you get up, the stronger you'll be. Your resilience muscles grow. Your confidence in yourself grows. Your ability to handle tough times grows. Something that we need to learn to do is to handle disappointments. Life is never gonna just go according to plan. You can't control other people. You can't control how they react or what they're going to say or do or how they're gonna treat you. You can do the best that you can. Do what's in your own control, and then learn to manage and react and respond in a way that is positive for your life. If you said being a victim and you're upset with the circumstances, life did this to me. Then my boss did that, then my mother said this, then this person did that. Okay, all these bad things happen, but what are you doing about them? Because once you shift that attitude, once you become more resilient in seeing things from a positive angle, how do I solve this problem? How do I overcome this? Okay, this is the situation. It's gonna be bad for three weeks, but by then I'll have saved enough and I will be out of this situation. Okay, today was a hard day. I need to cry. I need to go get someone to give me a hug. I need to go to have some fun with my friends. Release this energy. Tomorrow we start again fresh. Sometimes it's not a start again fresh from tomorrow. Life has really hit you with something difficult like death of a loved one or you've lost your job. And it's gonna take you some time to collect your spirit to get back up. But you have to get back up. It pains me so much when I see people who've given up. And you can see it. We all know these people in our lives who are just going through life on autopilot. They have no more fight left. They're like, ah, I'm just going to play it safe, gonna take it easy. Let me not try too hard. Let me not be ambitious, let me not say anything. Let me just keep going and survive. And I don't think we were put here to survive. I think we are designed to thrive, but we're put in a harsh environment because it's what pushes us. If there's no obstacles, if there's no challenges, if there's no loss or disappointment, it doesn't push us, it doesn't grow us. If everything just goes according to the plan, no one is growing. And you need that push to get out of your comfort zone, for your real light to come through, for your gifts to shine, for you to grow in whatever you're doing. And this is across all the different areas of your life. That's why even if you marry the perfect person, they're not gonna be perfect every day. Neither are you. You're gonna push each other and trigger each other and see how you can make each other better to get the perfect job. It's not that every day is going to be smooth sailing. And you love every little aspect of your job. No one likes writing emails or sitting through long meetings. It's just part of what you're doing because you want what you're going for. That's why the why is so important. And to know yourself and what you're capable of is important because everyone has that voice inside them that tells them you can do this, you have this potential. You are able to do it. But that voice gets drowned out by fear and doubt and other people and society and pressure and social media, and you get lost in it. But that's why you need that compass for yourself, because it will keep pushing you. And I tell this to entrepreneurs all the time because business is hard. Business is hard every day. I don't think there's any business person who is like, yeah, this week killed it. It was so easy. Everything worked out. Please, if you find the person, tell me. And I learn from them, because I've never had a week like that. But it helps to know what you're doing this for. It helps to know what's driving you. It helps you to make business decisions. It helps you when there's no one who's going to give you that loan or no one who's going to sell these Products for you or no one who's going to help you when your factory has burnt down? Or it's only you who's going to get yourself back up? It's only your own resilience. That's it. It's your own mindset and your own attitude. You can have all the money in the world, but if you have a poor attitude, you're not happy, you're not achieving anything, you're not making progress. I can't tell you how many people I know who money is not a problem. They have so many other problems. Yet you meet someone and they're like, money will solve all my problems. No one's life is perfect. Everyone has a mix of ups and downs. And nothing is ever safe, stable. The only thing we're guaranteed is change. Nothing is ever the same all the time. And as change comes, it's difficult. It requires energy and time and attention from all of us. So if you're used to your routine and everything is safe and you never switch up anything, anytime change comes, it's going to be a shock to your system. It's going to be hard. Your resilience muscles will be weak. Have you ever seen someone try to carry something heavy and they have no muscles? It's not possible. Don't be that person with resilience because life is hard. That one is a given. I don't know why we were ever misled. Maybe I was misled and other people have known it and they are more resilient. I feel like people who come from difficult childhoods are way more resilient as adults. Difficult things come to them in the office. They're like, yeah, I'll handle it. Yeah, I'll do this. Some people are like, oh my God, there was a problem. Madam, what do we do? Oh, there was a problem in your day. I'm shocked. Your day wasn't perfect. I'm so sorry. Everyone has problems. You have to learn how to overcome them. Have an attitude to solve problems, to be solution oriented, to be action oriented, to collect yourself, to be the positive one in the room when everyone is panicking. That's how you grow, it's how you push yourself. He who has the biggest resilience muscles, by the way, will go much further in life. Others will give up on the marathon of life. They'll take their time. They're like, ah, this is where I can manage. This is what I've reached. You can keep going. And I'm not saying the problem I have with giving up is you can do more if you're at your capacity, you're doing your best, you're pushing yourself. This is as far as it's gone. And you're really exerting yourself. I'm very proud of you. I'm very happy for you. That's success. It doesn't matter how much money you're earning or how fit you are or what your relationships are. If you are trying your best and exerting yourself consciously, you are doing a great job. And a club for you, giving up is when you know that you can do more, you know you can do better, and you just don't. You choose the easy route. We talked about choices. People always choose the easy route and they complain. But if you've chosen the easy route, don't complain for us. Because you know that you could push yourself. You know, you could be studying at night or you could be learning this skill, or you could be putting in that work, or you could go to a therapist and ask for help, or you could tell your friends, I'm struggling, or you could go and borrow that money or start that business. You are the one who knows. It's not for me to judge you. Me, I also know when I'm taking the easy route. Some days I'm tired. I'm like, ah, today I'm not picking this fight, I'm not pushing myself. I'm taking the easy route. I'll set afresh tomorrow because I know that's what I need in that moment. And tomorrow I better get up and start afresh, collect my energy, my resilience, my courage, and face the day. Sometimes I say that some mornings I need to ease into the day because it's too much. Other mornings I wake up, I'm like, I need to face the day. But the day is definitely going to come for you. The sun is going to rise the next day, regardless of how you feel or what happened to you yesterday or what life did to you. So the moment you stop seeing what is happening to you and you start happening to life, that's when you start to take control of your life. You get into the driver's seat and then you get to make these choices and decisions that are taking you to where you want to be. Because as bad as giving up is, there's also reaching somewhere you do not want to reach. And now those problems are your problems. Because no matter where you go, there is no patch of grass in life where there's no problems. That one I can say confidently, there's no one who has a perfect life or who has perfect balance or a perfect job or a perfect marriage or a perfect relationship with everyone in their life, it doesn't exist. It might look like that on social media or if you see them on TV when they brag to you in the bar. No one's life is perfect. So make sure where you're taking yourself. You're ready for those struggles, and those are the struggles you choose, because there will be struggles. You don't want to walk your way up a corporate ladder. You get this job and you're like, what am I doing here? These problems I don't want. This job is not in alignment with my values. It's not making me happy. And now I'm stuck with the problem on top of it. So make sure you're struggling in the right direction, because everyone is struggling. Everyone is striving, everyone is fighting for what they are trying to achieve in their life. So be conscious about it. Know where you're trying to take yourself, because if you just go with the flow, the wind has taken you. Your friend said, join here. Your mother said, get this job. Your dad pushed you there. They got you this job in this ministry. You're going to eat those problems alone. No one is going to deal with that with you on top of all your other problems in your life. So you have to know, I am choosing the problems I have. I'm choosing the life that I'm going for. I'm working towards something, and I will take the good and the bad at that level or in that area, in that space, in that sector. Choose it actively. Because when you take ownership of that, it's your responsibility, it's your life. You will do better at it. You will push yourself. You will be conscious in what you're committing yourself to. And I think that is being a responsible adult, and that is also being a happier adult, a more holistic, successful, thriving adult. And isn't that like the goal of the whole thing? I think it is. So as you look at what success is for you and your values and all these different principles and tools to measure people who inspire you, support systems, different things to build the life that you are designing for yourself. Make sure you remember your why, where you're going, where you're trying to take yourself and hold on to that, Visualize it, get it really, really clear, because that's what you deserve. What you have now is what you're actively deserving. It's what you've worked for, it's what you've earned. But only you know what you really Deserve what you're capable of, what it could be. And even then, your own imagination of what it could be. I bet it could be even bigger and better, but you've not yet lived it, so you don't even know. But it's exciting, I think. And that's why resilience is a tough topic. It can sound grim and brutal. Yeah, yeah. Life is rough, but life is also beautiful. Life is also amazing. Life is full of joy and people and places and things. And there's so much more than we could ever imagine because it's just. It's so exciting. It's so interesting. There's so much variety. You will never finish all the different things you ever want to do or read or see or be or experience in life, because it's so vast. And that's an amazing thing. So don't only look at the grim side. Collect some courage. Face the day. Face your life. Do what you need to do to keep yourself going. And remember, life is long, so make it sustainable so that you can keep going. You don't want to take 10 steps today and then you sit down for six months. Then I'm gonna do 10 more steps. Because the person who is doing one step every day and doesn't stop is going to pass. That's the person who's going to reach faster or further, and that's the person who is getting stronger as they go. Yes, you will be knocked down, but you have to trust and believe in yourself that you can always get up. Life doesn't knock people down if they can't get up. That's not there. That's not. I don't think karmic energy can do that to someone. Whenever you're knocked down or whatever problems you face, they are overcomeable. There is a way you can get around it. There's a way you can get up. You just need to try and see it or break it into something small enough that you can start to chip away at it until the problem is manageable. That is a skill. That is an attitude. It's something you have to cultivate. You have to practice and you have to grow. And as you grow, also your problems grow. But that means your success is also growing. Your capacity is also growing. And it does get easier because it is a muscle. The first day you do it, it's hard. The second day, slightly less. Slightly less. Okay, now it really hurts. Now it's really difficult, but oh, my God, now it's easier. I know I can do it. And that knowing is what makes a huge difference whether you believe you can do something or you believe you can't. You will always be right. That's what you need to remember and that's something no one can away from you and no one can change except you. So make sure you believe in yourself. Believe in that dream you have, believe in your own potential. And then everything else is figureoutable. You can break it down, you can learn it, you can ask, you can buy it, you can help, you can push for it, but it's doable. That's what you have to believe for yourself and that's something that can help to keep you going even in the hard days. So build your resilience and be tougher than what life threw in at you because it's possible. You are capable. I believe in you and I know it's possible. And I've seen this happen for myself, for people around me, for people I work with, on, online, on social media. It's amazing what is possible in this life if you believe in yourself and you practice these skills and cultivate this attitude where anything is possible for you. I hope you found this useful. If you have any questions or comments, feel free to send me a message on social media and let's stay in touch. I believe in you.