Choose Self-Trust Before Certainty Arrives with Dawn Ledet

You're listening to One Sharp Sword, cutting through to what matters most with Outfluencer, Dr. Wayne Pernell. Welcome to One Sharp Sword, cutting through to what matters most. I'm Dr. P, Dr. Wayne Pernell, your host, your guide, and your coach on this journey. Today we're talking about something every leader, entrepreneur, and high performer wrestles with— trusting themselves enough to move before certainty arrives. My guest today is Don LaDae, a self-trust business coach, author, strategist, and host of the top 5% podcast, The Self-Trust Solution. After more than two decades of leading luxury hospitality sales teams, Dawn noticed a pattern. The people with the greatest potential weren't being held back by a lack of talent or information. They were hesitating to fully own who they already were. That observation led her into years of exploring identity, authority, and what allows people to move decisively when the path ahead isn't guaranteed. Today, she challenges many of the assumptions we hear about confidence and self-trust. Rather than treating trust as something that accumulates over time, Dawn invites people to consider it as a decision available in the present moment. It's a perspective that raises some intriguing questions about leadership, internal dialogue, and the choices that shape the lives and businesses we build. Dawn and I have similar messages with different approaches, and I always love to see where conversations like these will go. So Dawn Ladee, welcome to One Sharp Sword.

I am so thrilled to be here and have this conversation, and I just love— like you said, we have similar ideas, but our approaches are very different. So I can't wait to hear or see where this conversation goes.

Yeah, where this is This is, uh, exploration in real time, so this is great. Let's talk about trust a little bit. Um, I want to, I want to ask you about you. I also want to ask you about what you're doing now. Like, you didn't wake up one day and go, I'm a self-trust coach. Um, so, so do this. Talk a little bit about what got you here.

Yeah.

And then I want to talk about how, how trust is chosen. Like, that's a big, bold statement.

So yeah, and it's more interesting than anything that led me up to this, but I will tell you really quickly.

Yeah, please, please.

So I— what, as to your point, I was a leader in the hospitality industry for a couple of decades, and I got to a point where I'd really tied my worth, my fulfillment to achievement. And you know what? I was an achiever, so it worked out for a long, long time. But in the last couple of years, I was in a project where I couldn't make that same impact. I couldn't seem to get the success, the wins that I was looking for, that other people were expecting from me. And that came down really hard on me, and I started to try and put my hands in many other things and react basically by finding a way to create impact and control. And one thing that I started recognizing was I, I didn't have the word burnout for it at the time, but I noticed I was overworking and underliving is how I would describe it now. And I forced myself to sell my car. That way I would walk 2 miles to work and 2 miles home. And because I live in the middle of New Orleans, I didn't want to walk too early or too late at night alone. And so that meant putting some external boundaries on my time at work. And it meant moving my body more, which I desperately needed and wanted to do. And so on one of those walks, I was very— thinking I was brilliant for this idea, a thought came up. And it was, why am I having to force myself to work normal hours? And move my body? Why did I have to go through this extreme of selling my car to make a decision I could have absolutely just made? And in that moment, a flood of awareness came forward of how I had spent just years without self-trust, really using— needing external affirmation, needing external boundaries, everything external, and really avoiding the internal.

This is great. So what you just did was to define what self-trust is, which is, which is awesome, right? Because I think that that's— I— that is foundational to all of this, is that we understand that so many of us, and probably to a degree 100% of us, uh, at least were taught to look for external validation. That's what school does, right? That's what it's— that's what your parents do. That's what the, the, the religious institutions do. It's what school does. There's an external authority. We look for validation. Then we get a job, we look for validation. Um, and how did you say it? Overworking and underliving. Yeah, right.

And that external validation, there's nothing wrong with it, but it was never meant to replace our own authority and agency. And somewhere along the way, we let it. And it's— everyone does it. So, I mean, everyone can acknowledge a space in their life where this has become part of it. So it's not meant to judge. It's meant to bring awareness to it so that you can make a change to it. Yeah.

I love— Dawn, I love that it's a yes and for you, that it's not— it's not— you don't need anybody's external validation. It's like we all We all love that. Like, you— yeah, I mean, we don't need it, and yet it provides a certain connection, really. Like, yeah, I made a difference. That's like, we do seek significance. That's a, that's a, a drive. And so to know that we have made a difference or that we're doing the thing that might make someone else happy, that's external validation. That's great.

Yeah. And it feels so much better when you're receiving external validation that is mirroring what you already give yourself, when it mimics what you already affirm about yourself.

Well done. Yeah, well said. It feels so much better when the validation mirrors what you already feel about yourself. So it starts with choice.

Yeah. I mean, I know that this is— here's the problem with building self-trust. You're putting a waiting room between you and something that's already yours. You have the ability to give trust and receive trust at any moment. Now, inevitably, someone wants to tell me all the ways they can't trust themselves. But Dawn, look, I didn't do this. And I said, because people get confused, by the way, as a side note, They think self-trust is doing everything you said you were going to do, which is actually just like being a prisoner of words instead of in authority of yourself. So if we put that waiting room, we tell ourselves we have to build it, we have to earn it, we have to practice it. It's like, it's mine. I can choose, but I get to choose it right now. And that's the gift. So when you— when someone tells me all the reasons why they can't trust themselves, I say, you just gave me all the reasons you didn't. You gave me all the reasons why you chose not to. Now, you can look at that as lack of self-trust or just making a decision that is not aligned with what you actually wanted to do. But you can choose trust at any moment. So you can choose differently now. Here's the power of decisions and choice, which is why it's always my focus. It is very hard to change a diagnosis. It is very easy to change a choice. When you diagnose yourself as not being able to trust yourself as untrustworthy, just like any other diagnosis, when you diagnose yourself as a procrastinator, you diagnose yourself as a perfectionist. You are saying that something is wrong with you, and that's harder to change than I chose not to, which means I can choose right now differently.

I love everything about this. Um, I'm a big fan of forthrightness and pivot. Those are, those are two things that I actually build into, like, forthrightness is one of my values in my my life, my company, right? So it's like my, my word is my contract. You can trust that, I can trust that. And yet sometimes there are external circumstances that interrupt that intention from what I say to what actually comes about, right?

And so sometimes, sometimes more information Exactly.

And so sometimes we need to pivot, and the forthrightness is to say that, right? And to make that decision. It's the decision that is the empowering piece here, which I, which I love. You know, one of the reasons I got out of— I have a PhD in clinical psychology, and one of the reasons I got out of doing traditional psychology is because it was very diagnosis-based, um, and I would then have to focus my work on what is wrong with the person based on the diagnosis rather than what's the ambition, what's the true— what's the true direction in line that this person values and wants in their, in their being, right? So, um, I love that you said it's hard to change a diagnosis, which is really a label of identity. And it's easier to change decision in the moment because now, now, now, with each moment, you get new, new information. I love this. It's great.

And it's so much more empowering. It's, it's really giving you agency over what you choose to believe, what you choose to do, what you choose to think, and not locking yourself into one choice you made 3 years ago. Deciding that that has to impact everything moving forward or define you. It's so unfair and it's very heavy weighted.

Yes.

And it prevents so many amazing humans, and I work with mostly entrepreneurs, it prevents them from, like, really owning their authority and doing bigger and bigger things that they want to do.

It's amazing. You know, we ask— we as established adults in the world would not go to a 17-year-old and say, I would love career advice for the next 40 years.

Right?

And yet we ask our 17-year-olds and our 13-year-olds and our 6-year-olds, what do you want to do? What do you want to be? Right? And it's like that decision. Well, I want to do this. I want to be a that. And, and it's like you don't know enough. Every day you get to learn. Every day you get to, to grow. Every day you get to choose your new identity. I love this because I'm doing so much work on this with, with my clients and doing some writing. It's perfect that you showed up for, for this right now.

Yeah. But here's what I will say, Dr. P, that 6-year-old, I want them to make that decision if, if they want to. Now, I don't want them to be forced into it. But make the decision because you know what? When you make it and you start thinking of things like that in that way and you start seeing the world through that decision, you gain more information. And then you're like, oh, I actually— I see a different path from this. That was a good starter point. So that's the whole point is no decision is wrong in this way of looking at it when it's all a choice that can change once you have more information, but you have to act on it. You have to act from it.

Great.

That way you are always evolving and moving forward because you are getting used to making those decisions. You are getting used to moving forward from them and learning more to give you what the next best decision is. Because I can promise you right now, it doesn't matter what you started out, even for things like being a doctor. It does have a pretty clear path of education, right? But it's never going to look exactly how you start it and how you think it is when it starts, ever. We don't know the how until we're there.

This is so great. You know, I knew I wanted to go into clinical psychology when I was 12 years old.

Mm-hmm.

And I got onto that path. And I studied and I went through, you know, got my bachelor's, got my master's, got my doctorate. And after getting my doctorate, it's like, oh my gosh, there's so much more than, than this, right? And so, uh, what you said was— what you said was brilliant. So, uh, make the decision in order to get more information. That is gigantic. That is a— I, I just— I love on my podcast, I love to call out leadership statements that I think are really solid, and I think that this is one that as a human, we need to keep in mind, and as a leader in an organization or even in the community or the family, make a decision in order to gain more information. And then you get to make— you get to make a new decision.

Yeah. This is why I talk about do it for data. Always do it for data. Oh, because we learn so much. So like, if you hadn't made that decision at 12 or and then acted on it, you might still today be thinking about being a clinical psychologist. And what if, and what if, and the people that you serve today in the work that you do would never get served in the way they're getting served. And you wouldn't have known that you could, you could expand past clinical psychology into something even more.

That's so great. So great. What's the inner room thing?

Hmm. So there's a lot of talk out there about self-sabotage and, you know, making an enemy of our thoughts, or— and that is not everyone's intent on that. But when you think about— when you're giving personalities to different voices and different attitudes of voices in your brain, you are creating division. And what we so desperately need in this world is unity, and it starts within. And so I know that the reason why we characterize these different personalities is because of a tone each one has. Because honestly, your inner dialogue has no tone. It's like words going across a ticker tape. We assign tone to them. It's a very normal thing based on our history, based on people in our lives, based on experiences, all sorts of things. But again, when we make that a problem, we create more division. So the way that I see it is we have the lobby and we have the inner room. And the lobby is where we're gonna live most of the time. We are. It's where our all-or-nothing thinking lives. It's where that that mentor told us when we were younger, like, you're gonna do great things. That's where that lives. It's where the bully's voice that told you, you know, your zipper was down and was mean to you for a year. That's where that lives. Your insecurities, your doubts, your fears, they live in the lobby. Beautiful things live in the lobby and things that are a little painful. There's also an inner room, and the inner room is where your intuition lives. Your wisdom, your divine guidance. And we wanna step into the inner room more often. Just create some time to stop drowning out your voice and actually tune into it. And when you do, you can start relating. My goal is for you to have an open floor plan. So you're not stepping through a door anymore. You are easily moving in between the lobby and the inner room. And the inner room is actually helping you relate to those lobby thoughts. So the way I see it, that's what The Inner Room is, by the way. The book is called The Inner Room, and it teaches you how to relate to those lobby thoughts. Or you can go on my website. I actually have this tool that you can go. It doesn't even require an email. It's called Meet You in the Lobby. Go plug in a thought, and it's gonna give you two invitations. The first invitation is gonna be to affirm yourself, your path, or your goal. The other invitation is going to be to just see it from a different perspective. It just opens you up to relate to yourself more instead of looking at thoughts as the enemy, something to avoid, something to drown out, or something to take as fact because they often aren't.

I'm a huge fan of perspective. Um, my Ted Talk, How a Parallax Perspective Disrupts Perceptual Bias, is a really fancy way of saying there's so many different ways of looking at things that you really owe it to yourself to change your perception and your perspective to be able to, to look at it more broadly.

At least invite yourself to. That's one thing it says on there when you put those two thoughts in, it tells you Take it, leave it, forget all about it. Whatever is useful, but just use it in a way that serves you. Yeah.

What's your website so that our, our listeners and viewers can actually access this tool?

Sure. It's called— it's theselftrustcoach.com, and you'll see if you just scroll to the middle of the page, there's a section to click in to meet you in the lobby.

Good. I, I always like to make sure that my guests can offer those as reference and can You know, so theselftrustcoach.com. All right, perfect. Um, meet you in the lobby. Love that. Um, talk about sabotage just a little bit more. There's inner critics, there's sabot— there's the— you, you talk about saboteurs like they're ninjas waiting to jump on you. I mean, that's not—

I actually don't. I don't believe in using that at all. But so that is why I change it from looking at it as the inner room and the lobby versus all these different personalities. They're all you. And what I hope everyone can adopt is that all of me is for me. It's a statement I hope we practice. Oh, beautiful. Beautiful. All of me is for me. When you start dividing these different personalities, you're suggesting that there are parts of you that aren't for you. And it's just simply— not necessarily true.

Love that.

The way that I talk about sabotage, self-sabotage, though, is a little different. And it's— I want you again to tap into your agency, into your choice. It's a diagnosis when you say, I, I sabotage myself, I'm a self-saboteur. It's such a discredit to your agency and your ability to choose. So I want you to say, I chose this. Own choice. I didn't sabotage myself. I made a choice that was not aligned with what I actually want for myself. And so now I get to just choose differently. It's again that thing, it's really hard to change when you have placed this thing, this choice on yourself as if it's an identity. It's hard to change. But when it's just a choice you made, so easy to change. And do different.

This is great. Um, I want to reiterate some of this. Um, I want to underscore it, right? So, all of me is for me is a really powerful statement. And not dividing your inner voice, because you don't have to have that battle in your head. Uh, that, that is such a powerful concept. I didn't— I didn't sabotage myself. I made a choice that wasn't aligned with who I'm becoming now, and I choose who I'm becoming. Um, you know, I taught martial arts for, uh, almost 30 years, and one of the concepts I taught there, and I bring it to leadership, and it sounds like you would echo this, is what's available to me now. And now. And now. Like, every moment you have a new awareness, so you have the ability to choose differently or to, or to choose a new path. And yeah, that's so—

and what if that new path that you see that you want to choose now could only become available to you because you made that choice? That you were so rudely assigning as self-sabotage instead of this beautiful empowering thing that you get to do. Sometimes I choose things that aren't aligned with what I want, and yet it always teaches me more of what I want to do next.

Uh, it's amazing. I'm taking some notes, uh, as we're talking. This is, uh, and, and it's great. You so rudely assigned it as sabotage, and it's really, this was your growth lesson. How exciting is that, right?

It's just a whole different way of relating to yourself. And it really does come— what I've found, and that's why it's always my invitations and the invitation of the book, is really start to adopt all of me is for me. What if that's true? You might put it on right now. It's going to feel a little uncomfortable. But what if that's true? Everything starts to change in how you relate to those thoughts that you used to think were so awful. They start to become just like, oh, what, what could, what do I wanna think about that? Or how do I wanna use that? How do I wanna make a choice that I could only have made by recognizing it as such instead of making it just this problem?

So good. What do I want to think about that? It's, um, you know, this is where you and I approach things slightly differently, and I love your approach. You know, what do I want to think about that? Um, you know, my question would be, what meaning are you giving to that? And, and what meaning would you like to give to that? And yeah, and it's, it's, it's such a powerful thing. You talk about agency which is a fancy way of saying you're in charge of yourself and you really do own your life. And, and what a beautiful responsibility that is, right?

Well, and there's so much that we don't have control over, right? There is a lot that we are going to come up against that is outside of our control. But let me tell you, when you are confronting those things from a unified front, from really owning your agency, from caring about the person and being for you and with you, which by the way doesn't mean you're not for and with other people. It actually allows you to be more for and with other people when you are more unified internally. It makes coming up against challenges and circumstances we can't control so much easier, less uncomfortable— still uncomfortable, by the way, but less uncomfortable— and you see a clearer way through when you're not battling yourself at the same time as battling something external.

I love this too. This is— it sounds like he just offered the yes and approach, right, that they do in improv all the time. You don't— in order to keep, keep an improv scene going on stage, You cannot reject an idea, right? Someone goes, well, that was, you know, because, uh, you know, he drove a '67 Chevy. It's like, he did? I thought he drove a truck, like, uh, you know, a Tesla or something. It's like, you build on what you were given, right? Yeah, it was that Chevy that caused the this and this and this. It's yes and, right? So So for yourself, it's, you know what you believe in, you know what your choices are, and it doesn't obviate the choices or the ideas of the other person. It's a yes and. You— it's inclusive.

I want to live a yes and life instead of a no but. A no but life feels so restrictive. Like, I even— my— you could see, like, my shoulders kind of cave in and go down.

And you frown a little bit, you furrow your brow. Yeah, but, right? No, but, yeah, it's like, that's, that's right fighting, you know? And, um, I talk about, uh, it's, it's like, it's like a tug of war, you know? It's my way, I'm right. Yeah, but I'm right. Yeah, but I'm right. Yeah, but I'm more right. It's why I really object to "I love you more." I can't stand that. It's like, who wins, right? What does it mean? You're right, you love me more. That's great.

I just say agree to disagree because I get that all the time from my mom. So funny that you said that. I'm like, agree to disagree.

Yeah, yeah. It's like, okay, so no, no, it's not a contest. The same at funerals, right? The same at funerals. Oh, this person meant so much to me. It's like, and they didn't mean the something to other people who are here. Like, it's not a competition, so it's— we can all be in the yes and place. Yeah, but so if you're doing tug of war, it's my way, I'm more right, let go of the rope. There's not a fight, right? It's like, we're here, we're so here.

Absolutely.

Let's talk about where people get stuck, right? They know what to do, but knowing isn't the problem? What happens with that?

I will say that, I mean, there's a few touchpoints, right, on knowing what to do and not doing it. But what I always go back to is the decision. If you didn't make a firm decision— and so often we don't, right? When I talk to people about their goals, they're like, I know what to do, but I'm just not doing it. They said, you know, I want to make this much money by the end of the year, and that's it. They left it at that.

That's a wish. That's a vacant wish, right?

Yeah. It's so unfair to expect yourself to act on a decision that wasn't firm in the first place. And what happens is then they start to look at themselves. What's wrong with me? Why am I not doing this? And it becomes— I call it fishing for a fish a pushing in a pond with no fish. Oh. Because it's just useless wasting time. So we always wanna go back to the decision. If you haven't made the firm decision, so right now, if you're struggling with following through on something, go back to the decision. Did you decide it firmly? Why is it that you wanna do it? And spend time with it until it is a firm decision. And if you can't get to it being a firm decision, then don't waste the energy in acting on it. Make a different decision.

That becomes someone else's supposed to that you're trying to take on, right? Yeah.

When you're judging yourself for not doing something, it's because you're not supposed to be doing it. Because that's why there wasn't a firm decision. It's because it's not really aligned with what you want. We needed more time in the beginning of the decision-making to find what it actually is that you're looking to create or want.

This is where you'd put people back in the inner room.

Yes.

Right? This is awesome.

Exactly it.

That's awesome. Okay, so decision comes from the Latin decidere, which means to cut away, right? So if you've decided on something, you're cutting out everything else that's not that thing, which means you're going to do that thing. How do you— do you— I don't know. Do you have anything to say about executive function with ADHD people who are like, well, I do really want it, but I can't get myself to do it.

Um, you know, I'm not an ADHD expert by any means, but I will say this. One, that's a very disempowering statement. Of course you can. There are lots of things that you get done every day. And when you are dismissing your ability, your capability, because you haven't, like, saying I can't run a marathon just because I never have. It's absurd. Of course I can. If I decide to firmly commit to a training plan, I'm running the marathon. And so I would start by going back and just decide, do I want to? Is there a process in place that actually works for me? Because here's the other thing I see— people are using calendars and schedules as these, like, taskmasters, as if they're in control of you. And then they set it and they don't achieve anything on it, but they keep repeating it each week. Guess what? The problem isn't you, it's how you have the schedule set up. So I want you to learn from yourself. Why didn't it work in that time slot? It might not mean you don't want to do it. It might mean that it doesn't work for you at 3 PM on Tuesdays. Maybe it works for you to work on it in 3 30-minute blocks spread on Monday, Wednesday, Friday mornings. When you use it to work with yourself instead of holding it up against yourself, you get so much more accomplished. And then you're not looking at yourself as the problem. You're learning from a process or learning to create a process that works for you.

This is great. You actually, uh, have more expertise in ADHD stuff than you know. So, um, based on the reading I'm doing, it's, um, That's exactly right. And, and it is, it is one of those things where if you look at, there are tons of people with ADHD that are actually achieving things. How do they do it? They match the tools in their external environment with what works for their patterns.

Having ADHD doesn't make you any less brilliant. It just means certain tools and processes and times don't work for you. And I'd say that's true for everyone. I work better in the morning. I love— I'm a morning person. I get a lot of output. And you try and get me to do a project at 3 PM and you lost it. I mean, it's going to take me like 7 days.

I'm with you on that. I'm like, I'm actually early morning up till about 10, and then 10 to 2 is sort of pretty good. And then 2 to 6 isn't so good. I could do stuff, not so good for me. And then 6 to 2 in the morning, I'm really good.

Like, right? It's like I'm a morning or late night. It's so true. In the middle of the day, I just want to do anything else. Pretty much.

That's great. And I guess what you've learned is, uh, you set your schedule to match that.

Yeah, why would I spend my energy fighting what works for me just to match what works for someone else? Listen to how absurd that sounds.

This is a leadership lesson right here, and it's one for yourself as a leader, and it's two to recognize what each team member on your team actually needs because they may not be working in your time. You might be out of sync. Fantastic. Recognize it and offer some grace and offer— as long as the job gets done, does it matter that they're doing it in your time schedule or can they do it on theirs?

You're speaking my language. That was one thing I just never understood when I used to lead teams and I would speak to colleagues or see peers in different— that were over different departments, and they're so tied into the hours that people were working, and it drove me insane because I'm like, yeah, if you are doing the work and you're accomplishing your goals, I have no interest in babysitting you and telling you that you should work in a manner that doesn't work for you. That just seems like a recipe for disaster. Which is why my teams were always happier than other people's teams.

Yeah, understandably so. It's, it is a recipe for disaster. That's a, that I think, as much as we're both allergic to diagnosis, I think that is a very strong symptom of somebody who is not trusting themselves and needs a form of external control, needs a needs to impose external control on, on others.

Well, and I would say that they don't have a very clear understanding of what makes up success for their company, because if they're thinking that what makes up success is how the output is done instead of the output itself and the person who is putting it out, then Yeah, it's, it's a problem. That's, that's a misunderstanding of what creates success.

Agreed. I think in many ways that's the gift that COVID gave us, right? The ability to work from home. We set our own schedules. We, you know, we must work remotely. And now, you know, there is a shift to get back to the office, which makes a whole lot of sense because interacting with others for a common cause creates a sense of unity. That said, individuality within that group also matters. So this is— yeah, I think it's, I think it's a beautiful cultural shift that we're seeing. And we, we watch the pendulum swing a little bit.

Yeah, it's an invitation, I think, for a lot of people didn't know how they work best. They never took the time to really find that out. And COVID gave you an ability to see what really does work for you. Do you prefer being in an office environment? Do you find that you are more productive when you're working? Oh, is a hybrid better for you? Are you more productive in the morning, late at night, in the afternoon? Are there, you know, kind of the sandwich times like myself and Dr. Wayne Pernell have? Yeah, yeah. And I think it just gave some awareness for that. And that's good, right? Knowing what works for you creates more connection to yourself and ability to advocate for yourself and be more productive and a better— I wanted to say partner, but that's not what I'm looking for. Like, you know, coworker, peer, subordinate, or leader.

It's the organizational culture, right?

Yeah.

So let's talk business for a minute. You've, you talk about, uh, building a strong foundation before building the rooms. And so what is— walk us through how to get that strong foundation. What does that actually look like?

Yeah, it's, um, no surprise, going to be about deciding. But we have to look at first. So I have this beautiful— in fact, I just started running it in July. It's so good, but it's called The Floor, and there's a Your Build version, so you can go and do it yourself, or I do it live quarterly. And it really is defining. It's that point of you cannot expect yourself to follow through, to achieve what you want, when you haven't first made the firm decision, both that you are the person to do it and what it is. What is the actual vision? And so creating the floor is making that immovable. Because let me tell you, when you are taking action to, to find out if you can get it, to find out if you're the person, when you're taking action to prove, um, to yourself that you can have it, it is way different than action taken from the firm spot of this is inevitable. Now I'm just uncovering the how. On the way there.

Uh, okay, so that last piece sort of stunned me because that is, that is so good. Um, it is inevitable is a really powerful statement, right? It's like, I choose this identity, is, is where all of this conversation is going, which is why I was really excited about having you here. Uh, because that is such a powerful, powerful, powerful place to be. I choose this identity. When you do that, it is— well, then the outcomes are inevitable, right? If I choose this identity, the outcome is inevitable. It's going to happen. It's already like I've chosen, therefore it's already happened.

Yeah, it's done. So then it doesn't make the the path any more straight. There is no straight path to anything, I can promise you. But it does make it all forward moving. Because what happens when you are moving towards something that you hope will happen, that you are thinking probably maybe could happen, you end up with these, like, going backwards because you keep going back and relitigating the decision, or you keep second-guessing it, or you're questioning every time a result, and a result on the way to it doesn't come in your favor, doesn't show up the way you expected it to, you start questioning whether you get to have that thing. When it's inevitable, every time a result doesn't give you the result you wanted, it's pointing you in the direction of the next decision that will. The next decision and action that's going to give you more information. It's uncovering the how. Towards the inevitable vision. So that's why we build the floor first. We have to. And then we start building the rooms. And the rooms, and with the people that I work with, are, you know, the framework room, because mostly I work with coaches and online service providers. So we're, you know, developing the framework room, the, um, offer room, the messaging and attraction room, and the sales room.

This is great. I, I just— all the work around identity is— and agency and decision, it is so powerful. So where did identity change a business for one of the people that you've worked with? You work with entrepreneurs all the time.

Oh gosh, yes. So I mean, every one of them, honestly, but Uh, one that comes to mind most, most recently is I have a client who has crossed over into the multiple 7 figures now, and she had been operating with, for the last couple of years, with the other shoe, kind of that mentality of the other shoe is going to drop, this isn't real, still operating from the identity of a beginner business owner and we, we had to get her up to speed with herself. It's because this is what's so mind-blowing sometimes is you are already operating from that next level, but when your identity is tied into— you're not owning that, you haven't been moving forward with it in how you see yourself and how you see what's possible for you and what, what you're moving towards. If you haven't made that firm decision, you haven't created that floor then you are straddling two spaces, and it's exhausting. It feels like you have to hold on so tight. This is where we start to build ceilings for ourselves. So when the floor— everyone's trying to crush through ceilings, but I promise you, when you're hitting up against the ceiling, it's because your floor isn't solid. So you're looking in the wrong place. Ceilings become necessary. Walls closing in become almost necessary to yourself because you can't handle— you're not sure what you're standing on. It feels very unstable. And so it almost becomes insulation to help you to feel a little more secure. And so when we confirm the floor, the walls start to expand, the ceiling lifts. And that is what we're doing here. And so with that particular client, when we were able to tap her into how she had already moved forward. Her actions had moved past her identity. Her results had moved past her identity. And so we did the work of getting her up to base, making that floor super solid. And she said the other day, this was so beautiful, like, she had the lowest month— she's doing some restructuring— she had the lowest month that she had had in probably 3 years. And she's like, I feel so good. Because a year ago, she had had the highest month ever, and she felt like everything was about to fall apart. And it really was the difference in seeing herself as that CEO, as that solid business owner, that is what changed everything. Yeah.

Mm-hmm. Uh, I had this thought as you were talking, which was about the necessity of boundaries And the paradox of becoming limitless, right? That there's this sense of we need boundaries to push against in order to know how big we can actually become.

Yeah, I call it edges. We are always going to— I don't know, do we need them? They're inevitable. They're going to be there, right? So my stance is that you are whole, complete, worthy. You are exactly who's going to achieve that huge dream that you have. You're already that person. I actually don't believe— I know you use the word becoming. I actually don't believe we're becoming anything. I think we are revealing more of ourselves. Great. So we meet edges as we go because we can't— I mean, imagine if you knew everything you know now and had all the experience you had at 6. Ridiculous, right? You weren't ready for it. So we do have these— we meet these edges of ourselves every time we are expanding into more of ourself, and it's really uncomfortable, but it's, it's that what I call worthy discomfort. And so we are uncovering more of ourselves and we are expanding that as we move forward. Yeah.

This is great. Um, my, my first book had a working title of A Worthy Struggle, so I'm really glad that you use that, that language of— it's like this worthiness place. We are worth it. I, I chose not to call it that because I didn't want to focus on the struggle, right?

So, well, good for you, because my first book, I called it Master Your Inner Dialogue, and I have totally moved past that now. I don't think we're mastering anything, right? We are starting— it's a relationship. And that's why I mean, the process and the tools actually still stand. It's beautiful. But that title just kept irking on me because what I've uncovered is that it is not about mastering anything. It really is about relating differently. Yeah.

So good.

Yeah.

I feel like you and I could talk for a really, really, really long time. This is great. What, um, I just, I want to make sure that we have time for you to say the things that you want to say also. Like, is there anything that I haven't asked you? And, um, part 2 of this is, uh, for people that want to reach out to you and, and find more about you. Do they go back to theselftrustcoach.com or find you on LinkedIn? What's your favorite thing?

Those are my two favorite places. I mean, come chat with me on LinkedIn. I love it. If you want to join the Self Trust Solution newsletter, it is— at least one piece is published every week, sometimes more, all about all of this beautiful work that we're doing to create more agency, more decisions, more choice, less disconnect, more unity. More revealing instead of growing and building. Stop making yourself wait to build. Let's just choose it. And you can go to theselftoughcoach.com. I'd love for you to go check out Meet You in the Lobby. If you have a thought that's been bothering you, you don't even have to put your email in. It's just something that— it was the best thing that I could do. I talk about the two invitations to every thought that you might be struggling with a lot. And saying it and seeing it And I can't just come to you and tell you about every thought you have, unfortunately. I'd love to speak to all of you about your thoughts. And if you want to bring me one on LinkedIn, you certainly can. But this was the best way that I could put what's in the book into practice for you. And so go check it out.

That's great. Go check it out. This is awesome. Dawn Ledet, L-E-D-E-T, D-A-W-N L-E-D-E-T, so that you can find her, Dawn Ledet, on LinkedIn. In and theselftrustcoach.com. Talk about your books real fast.

Okay, so I have The Inner Room, because that is—

doesn't have to be that fast, actually. Just talk.

I don't have to be too fast. Uh, I have 3 books. Mastering Our Dialogue is sort of like a pamphlet. Again, it's not about mastering, but you will find that the dialogue doesn't talk about mastering. It's just the title that irked me. It is now a more expanded volume with those same tools in it, in The Inner Room. And so I would recommend you reading that one. I also have— if you are a dog lover, if you are someone who has faith, I have a book called Trust, Surrender, Obey. And it's faith lessons from my dogs. I rescued a bunch of dogs. And there's just a lot of— it's 42 or 43 just simple mini stories about— faith through my rescue dogs. And I also have— oh, I also have her— She Gave Her Whole Heart. If you are grieving an animal, you can find that on my website as well. It's about losing a beloved pet and not diminishing your grief because it is a four-legged friend.

Mm, so good. So good. I want to ask you one kind of tie-up question here, which is, like, what's the one thing, right? So if— so as our listeners or viewers realize that they're waiting to become someone who trusts themselves, I really want this, I want to— I'm waiting, I don't know how to trust myself. What's the first step that someone can take?

Decide. First of all, stop saying— I mean, decide is the thing, I'll be honest. Just choose it. Choose to trust yourself. And And in every moment that you don't, know that you get another opportunity in the very next moment. But the other piece to that is to stop saying that you don't because I promise you, you get up every day. You brush your teeth. You show up for other people. You do lots of things that show that you can trust yourself. It is in that dialogue of saying that we don't or we can't that we actually create this chasm that we fill with confirmation bias. Like, we start looking for all the reasons why we can't. And so I just want you to shift your focus. We talked about perspective. Start seeing how all the ways that you already do and can, and then just choose in every moment to trust yourself.

It is so powerful, so good. Choice, decision, repeat. Yes, really good.

Always practice expression because so many people think that follow-through is how you build self-trust. And what I want to invite you to see is that follow-through is an expression of self-trust. So choose trust first, you express, express it through the follow-through of your decisions you make, and then you just practice that on repeat.

So good. I'm so glad. I really am so glad that we, that we did this. This is really great. Uh, thank you for being here. Don Ladee has been my guest today. This is One Sharp Sword, cutting through to what matters most. I appreciate that you're here. Uh, Don, I appreciate that you're here. And to my viewers and listeners, if you like this, please do like and share this. That matters a lot. Make a comment and, um, reach out to me, reach out to Don. We're here for you. Thanks. We'll see you next time on One Sharp Sword. I'm Dr. P, Dr. Wayne Pernell, your host, guide, and coach on this journey. Thanks for being here. Thanks for listening to One Sharp Sword, cutting through to what matters most with Outfluencer, Dr. Wayne Pernell. For more information, please go to onesharpsword.com.