Dealing With Mental Illness | Q&A Eckhart Tolle

Holy wow. Hi.

Hi.

My name is Alexis. I wanted to ask you a question. Last year I went to your retreat at Omega, so I guess I've been, like, hanging on to this question for a while. First of all, your book, Power of Now saved my life, so thank you. I was planning on committing suicide until I read it. I have a severe mental illness, type 1 bipolar disorder. I've suffered from it since I was 15, and I've only just started getting treatment, so I'm medicated now, I guess. And even though suffering from bipolar unmedicated was hellish, there was a certain component of presence to it in its own way, just that intensity of emotion and feeling all the time. And I've just really been struggling since. Since being on medication with accessing that same sort of abruptness of being. And I know that I. I don't really have a choice because otherwise I'll be hallucinating and things, but I don't know. I was wondering if you might offer any insight.

When did you. So the Power of Now helped you greatly when you read it. So that was. And then you were free of medication for quite a while?

Yeah, for. I guess I was untreated for like seven years before.

And then the point was reached where you did need it?

No, no, then I. Until when I did need it or didn't need it.

Yes. How long have you been on medication?

Only a few months, actually. I guess coming up on a year.

What was the reason for then? For going on medication?

I fell in love and I realized that I couldn't be sick and also be present for my partner.

Right. So bipolar is what you. Your condition?

Yes. Type one bipolar.

Yeah. I've only had some contact with perhaps milder cases, I don't know of bipolar disorder. Often the. Can you explain, just very briefly, maybe in just a couple of sentences, what. What exactly you experience when the condition arises?

So sufferers of bipolar usually experience two different types of phases, manic phase and a depressive phase. People often confuse it with, like, a multiple personality disorder, but it's actually quite different. You're the same person, but just sometimes you can't move or get out of bed or do anything, and sometimes you can't sleep for days on end and you are seeing things that aren't there and hallucinating and running around like. So it's.

You do strange things then?

Yes. Yeah. So. And you can't. When you're in one state, you can't ever remember the other. So when you are depressed, it seems like you're going to feel that way forever, but then it could be two days from then you are back up, manic. So I. There are many kinds of bipolar disorder, but I suffer from a rapid cycle type, which means that I have like four to six times more cycles than the average person.

With the milder forms of bipolar, it's sometimes possible for people to remain aware in both the cycles when they come, so that you don't get taken over completely by the cycle, so that an awareness remains, so that you're not totally identified with the energy that arises. I don't know. How is the. Do you. Are you able to be present with the medication?

Yeah, I think that it provides me. It gives me a bit more space to reflect on when I am actually in a cycle. But it's very dulling. So being present doesn't have that sort of joy. It's harder to. It takes much longer to look at something. I mean, I used to be able to just sit next to trees and have conversations with them, and it was wonderful. And now, I mean, I'm getting used to it, but it's more difficult.

Yes. Well, do you have a meditation practice?

I try.

I think it would be good for you to have a practice of formal meditation every day. That could eventually replace the medication. But you have to be very careful, of course, and get some professional help, hopefully a physician who has some awareness of the other, the deeper dimension, who can help you to gradually get off medication. And I believe that a structured meditation, which is not for everybody. I don't necessarily recommend structured meditation for everybody. It's a wonderful thing for those who feel compelled to feel they want to do it, but I think for you it is a necessity. And that could provide the support in consciousness that you need to eventually become free of medication. What type of meditation? You may have to try out one or two meditation methods. I don't know if you already have done that. Perhaps transcendental meditation might be good for you. Okay, so how do you feel right now?

A lot better.

Now. Are you at any particular cycle of now or are you in a neutral space now?

No, I'm actually in one of my longest lasting neutral phases ever.

Of course, in the neutral phase, then the real you shines through as it does right now, and that's wonderful. So I believe being here also has helped, because here, but just by having been here, presence power has grown, and that's really what you need. Because if presence power in you, so to speak, is strong enough, it can be the place in which you can be anchored. When these two movements come. You need a deep anchor within yourself because these two, the two movements have an enormous pull. As you know, without the anchor, there's no hope of you. They pull you every time this way or that way. But the presence should become strong enough in you and maybe very soon for you to not need the medication anymore. But you don't do it always. Do it with guidance. Don't just go. Don't just go off. And you may be surprised how deep your presence already is. So I do hope we'll have another retreat in a year's time or so and you will come back and let us know how you're doing.

That would be amazing. Thank you so much.

Thank you. This mind made sense of self is also much more focused on the negative than the positive. To be free, you awaken to who you are beyond your history and your life situation. It.