Does Your Body (Form Identity) Make You Unhappy? | Eckhart Tolle

Even if, as I said, even if your body is strong and beautiful and you identify with that, you move towards suffering. And if your body is not, you're not happy with it, you're suffering already. So hold your form identity loosely, because obviously everybody has a form identity. They consist of many different things. It depends where you. What importance you give certain aspects of your particular physical, psychological form. Obviously you have a form identity. It always starts with the body. Course, to some extent you can't get away from that. This form identity begins with the body. As you may remember, when I talk about form identity, you have the differentiate between form identity, which is physical form, and psychological form and essence identity, which is who or what you are beyond, beyond the physical and beyond the psychological. You as the consciousness, the transcendent consciousness, which is there the moment you become still and you're still awake, you haven't fallen asleep, stillness remains. That is the beginning of realizing your form identity. But your. Your essence identity. But your form identity, yes, varies from person to person. What, what importance could you give certain aspects of your form? As I said, it begins with the physical body. And for some people, that's already a huge chunk of their form identity is your. Their physical appearance. And in some cases it's a source of pride. So it makes you feel special because relative to others, your body is better looking or stronger. Or for many others, it's a source of suffering and shame because the body isn't good enough. It doesn't look good enough. It's not. You compare the ego, always comparative in its. It compares its identity with others and then you look at other. Some people are made temporarily happy by their bodies identifying with it, and others are made unhappy by their bodies. But in either case, it's egoic identity. You might think that if you have a beautiful or strong body, obviously only for a few years, then you begin to. If you are really identified with the beauty or strength of your body, then you're in for a lot of suffering. When that beauty or strength diminishes, then you begin to really suffer. Your sense of identity begins to crumble. No matter how hard you try to repair the decaying form, you can't really. Well, you can spend a lot of money trying to patch up the sticks, but it can't go on forever. And then eventually, sometimes it happens with some very beautiful actors, actresses, actors, when they get really old and even the repair jobs don't work anymore, then you never see them again. They live in hiding. It's very sad. They live withdrawn, don't want to be seen by anybody anymore. It's a very sad end to their lives. So the identification. Now you might think it's particularly egoic if you take pride in your. By the way, there's nothing wrong with be very happy if you have a strong and beautiful body. Enjoy it while you can is my recommendation. But it's not to be despised that it's lovely, wonderful, it's not essentially who you are, obviously. So find who you are beyond that as soon as possible before it starts to decay. Find who you are beyond that, that's important. So. But it's not only the ego. It's not only amplified by identification with the stronger beautiful body. It's equally. The ego is equally amplified. If you have a shame or unhappiness attached to what you consider to be an undesirable looking body, then that's also a strong egoic thought form. It's just as strong as one that takes pride in your appearance. Sometimes people think ego always refers to somebody who feels better and bigger than others. Big ego seems to be like a triumphant sense of identity. That can be the case, but the ego is equally strong in the opposite of that. Regarding yourself as inferior and suffering because of that. Comparing yourself unfavorably with other people, on whatever level, seeing yourself as a. As a victim of life, that's an equally strong egoic identity as thought forms. So it's not just the ego is not necessarily and always a triumphant sense of identity. It can be just as strong as the opposite of that. So identification with the body, which can ultimately it will bring you suffering. Even if, as I said, even if your body is strong and beautiful and you identified with that, you move towards suffering. And if your body is not, you're not happy with it, you're suffering already. So in either case, go deeper, go deeper, don't. And then that's one identification. The other identification may be other external things to your body. Now, obviously, to some extent, the things that you put on your body become an extension of the body. So you look for, if you want to create a certain image or to reinforce the image that you have already created for yourself, the way you dress becomes an extension of. You identify with that as much as you identify with the actual physical body. It becomes an extension of the physical body. So that can become important too. What you put on become part of your identity. And all the advertisers, the manufacturers of clothes and brands, they all know that ultimately you're not buying a piece of clothing, but you're buying an identity. And they all know that. And that's what they advertise. They advertise an enhanced sense of identity. And again, it does not mean there's anything wrong with enjoying something beautiful to put on your body. The question is, does that give you your sense of identity or is it simply something that you enjoy? Very big difference. In the same way with the possession, there's no need to let go of all possessions. Because if you radically as some spiritual people have done and still do in the past, sometimes it may work. But the danger is, let's say you're so spiritual that you say, I don't want any more possessions, nothing. And that still exists in some countries. In India there's an unbroken tradition going back thousands of years of humans who have done that. And they still, some still do it. So they walk, some of them are actually totally naked somewhere, just in loincloths. They live on, they are supported because this is valued there to relinquish all attachments completely. In your attempt to find the deeper dimension where you the being of you, that is where you are connected with the divine, with God, Source. The danger is when you do that, that you create a substitute identity for or yourself as a thought form of me, the one who has let go of everything. Therefore the me that is superior to all those who are still attached to all those things. And that's the spiritual ego. And that's very subtle and can be very deceptive. You can spend the rest of your life if let go of everything. And then you have this huge spiritual ego walking around and you don't know it. So it's much more helpful except in some exceptional cases, if that is your calling, to relinquish everything. If you very strongly feel that is your calling, then that's where you have to go. But be careful that you don't create another identity for yourself, a mind made identity out of that. Then you're trapped again without knowing it. But if you do, my recommendation is first of all don't, because you probably have to let go of your most of your clothes too. Don't go and live in North Dakota or Canada, move to Florida or here. Then at least your body is relatively comfortable. But even then you would still encounter problems. So my first recommendation would be to move to India. And there you will be looked after by people who appreciate you, who kind of recognize that there's a spiritual seeker there. Or India is still many of these people, unfortunately a significant percentage of them, the renunciates, the sadhus, some are genuine wonderful beings. And Others do it for a living. It's great. You don't have to work, people give you food. You can just sit around all day and be respected. So you have. For some it's genuine and others are fake. So identity then. For some people, gender is an identity. Traditionally, being either a man or woman was always an important part of your sense of self. How important varies from person to person. In some countries where genders are still clearly defined and separated, your gender identity can make up an important part of your sense of who you are. For example, in some countries, if you're a man, it gives you some. You immediately have a certain superiority. Or the other 50% of humanity, the women that I'm a man, and then the woman is also pushed into identification with their role and told the woman, I'm a woman. And so. And you're trapped in that kind of identification. I'm not going into gender because it's a big topic these days. But is the. Are you seeking some ultimate identity no matter what you, what gender you are, as all these things these days, LGBTQ, etc. Etc. Okay, that's fine. But are you seeking some ultimate identity in that? That's an illusion. Again, anything informed just you're seeking some kind of ultimate completion of yourself that only the essence identity can give you. It does not mean that you cannot honor your form identity. It could also be racial. What color is my skin? Fine. You can, can be happy with it, you know, whatever. You can honor that, but not, not making that into your main identity. Then you're trapped in on the surface of life. So there's a difference between honoring your form identity and being trapped in your form identity. And also the importance is mistaking your form identity with the essence of who you are. Mistaking that for the essence of who you are. That's. That is a delusion.