Don't Lose Yourself in the Future | Eckhart Tolle on Who, What, and Where You Really Are (Part 1)

So you are then be vigilant about self image, self image arising, self esteem, self worth. Now, on the conventional level, self esteem or self worth are derived from the way which you relate to society that you live in. To a large extent, certain things that you may have achieved or that you may possess. Or in some, in some traditional cultures, your sense of self worth is to do with your ancestors. Not so much in the western world and certainly much less in like in a so called new countries like United States or Australia or Canada. In the new countries your ancestors are not that important as far as your sense of identity is concerned. But in older cultures, your sense of identity and sense of self worth is sometimes to a large extent derived from your ancestors. And even if you have achieved nothing, and you can have a high sense of self worth because your great grandfather and the ones before and before and before and before they have achieved great things in the eyes of the world, perhaps it means they just killed more people than anybody else. And finally they became the king, gave them a title of nobility and suddenly they became a duke. And you have pictures of your ancestors on the walls. True self worth comes from a deeper place that is actually not related to achievement in this world, or whatever this world calls achievement, because that is delusion. Also, what is it that makes it successful? Life, not the world has a certain opinion about that. The mainstream culture. But that is a delusion too, because most humans who are considered highly successful are also unhappy, burdened with a huge ego, in many cases making themselves and others unhappy in the process. True self worth comes from that place of beingness. It comes from the I am and it is not comparative. On the horizontal dimension is worth. Your self worth is always there. You need comparison. And to have a sense of a heightened sense of self worth, you need to be better in some ways than others. You compare yourself to others and that determines your sense of self worth. Possessions, looks, knowledge, skills, all these things, things that you have, things that you can do, things that you know. Self worth could be all your knowledge in your mind that you have accumulated. So do you derive yourself worth from those things? And you can't. But it relies on comparison. Compared to others, one person says I look much better, I look better. Not me, obviously, I'm just talking God. My body is better than other bodies, my appearance. And you derive your self worth from external appearance for a while, until time does something to it, as it will unless you die first. But eventually time will erode the things that you identify with. When your self worth is derived from physical Strengths or physical. Physical appearance. And then eventually you shrink like an apple that you leave for too long on the kitchen counter. At first the apple looks and then you forget it in a corner of your kitchen counter. And then a few weeks later it has shrunk. It's soft. It's not. It's what happened to it. Time did something to it. And it does that to your body too. So that's not a good thing to sense of self worth one but it's very seductive. Especially if you are blessed with a great body or great appearance. You have to be very careful because it's not going to last. And then you'll be very unhappy possessions. I have more than skills. I can do this better than other people. I'm. I have more knowledge. Compare. And then you get a heightened sense of self worth from through comparison. So you need to have a sense of self worth. You need superiority in some area of your life to get that sense. So you have to rely on others being considered less worthy than you for your sense of self worth. That's all to do. If you live exclusively on the horizontal dimension. That's how it works. And your sense of self worth is very fragile because it could always be others that even in the area that you most identify with, there could always be others who are even better than you there. And they usually are. And the true self worth is not comparative at all. It comes directly from the realization of the being that you are, which is precious. It's. There's a center of infinite worth worth or worthiness in there that does not depend on any comparison. It's life itself, the sacredness of life itself that you are. And success. Ultimately, what is the only real success in life? It is how conscious you are, how much consciousness is manifesting, emerging, shining through you here and now, not your historical past. Let's say that one or two of you have had a very bad life up to this point. Maybe every decision you've made has been wrong and it has led to disastrous consequences. Maybe you spent years in prison and then you're out and then you didn't succeed in that. And then you suffered and suffered. But now you're here. For some reason you're here. This is an extreme case. It probably doesn't apply to any of you. But I'm just giving an example of, let's say your total life up to this point has been a disaster in the eyes of the world or maybe even in your own eyes. But now for some, somehow you go. And here you begin to awaken wow. To your essence identity. That is the only true success. Your consciousness, your state of consciousness. And suddenly the whole history of you was a preparation. Although it looked like a total failure, it was a preparation for this awakening. And so retrospectively, this total failure of your personal history, it all made sense. You needed it to awaken all the suffering that were perhaps inflicted on you by others. And then self created suffering, all the suffering has brought you to the point of awakening. So retrospectively, suddenly, it was all good. It all made sense, because it was. Obviously you needed it to awaken that success, not what the world tells Sam.