In this monologue, Eckhart Tolle addresses a person who feels persistent unhappiness and nighttime anxiety. He explores whether the feeling can survive in a state of complete surrender, proposing that fully accepting the unpleasant emotion—repeating statements like “I am unhappy, I don’t mind being unhappy”—can often cause the feeling to dissolve. Tolle advises practical steps: entering sleep from a relatively conscious, calm space; using conscious, deeper breathing; and investigating whether the claim that breath work “doesn’t work” is itself a mental resistance. He suggests additional energy‑based practices such as qigong or intensive breathing techniques (e.g., Wim Hof) and even extreme cold exposure for those who cannot find relief through ordinary methods, while cautioning against over‑doing any practice. Throughout, he emphasizes that resistance sustains suffering, acceptance can end it, and that any beneficial practice taken to excess becomes counter‑productive, even compassion.
Chapters
I'm unhappy. I don't mind being unhappy. It's fine. I'm unhappy. So let me be unhappy. That sounds really weird. So let me be unhappy. I don't mind. I'm just unhappy. Now the question is, can the unhappiness survive in a state of complete surrender? So I haven't heard many cases of heard some. But what the person asks is, is it possible that I live consciously and I'm being attacked at night? Yes, that is possible. Be careful, of course, how you go to sleep so that you have a. A relatively conscious space from which you enter the sleep state rather than from some state of mental turmoil. Have a relatively conscious space and then you wake up in the middle of the night. And this person has tried everything what I normally recommend. He says he's tried it and it didn't work. Sucrose. What do I do then? What should I recommend if that doesn't work? Let me think about it. Well, one is, sir, He suggested that also you could try complete surrender to the unpleasantness of that. So there's the unpleasant emotions of fear and the thoughts. And you go, so okay, that's what is. And you feel all that. Don't even try to enter a different state. If you completely accept the state, this very often can lead to the end of it. For example, try, let's say you're unhappy in whatever form. Of course, it's often connected with certain mind activity. But at other times it may just be that the unhappiness lives in you as an emotional field. You could try, say I'm unhappy. I don't mind being unhappy. It's fine, I'm unhappy, so let me be unhappy. That sounds really weird. So let me be unhappy. I don't mind. I'm just unhappy. Now the question is, can the unhappiness survive in a state of complete surrender, or does the unhappiness in order to survive needs resistance? There's something wrong with me, there's something wrong with life, there's something wrong somewhere. You need some resistance. And if you. I don't mind being unhappy. I'm just suggesting it as an experiment. It works. I've had feedback from people. For some people it actually works very well. And for others it doesn't. It's an experiment. So that's one possibility. Just complete surrender to the pain that you feel, complete surrender to that. But a complete surrender would also very quickly lead to a cessation of mind activity. Complete acceptance. Another thing that this person may find helpful is to really investigate when he Says being in the body is not possible or doesn't work. And observing your breath doesn't work. Is that really true? Or is the unconsciousness that has taken hold of you controlling your mind and saying this? That's. That's not going to work. It's not working. You can see it's not working. You try conscious breathing and after three conscious breaths, just. It's not working. I can't do it. It's not working. Maybe it is working. You just have to give it some time and practice. Deep, A little bit deeper. More deeply than you would normally breathe. And the mind is still going on and the emotion is still there, but you're still breathing. And if it's very intense, it has to deepen quite a bit. Your breath, It will bring about a change. If you persist in, it must bring about a change. Another thing you could do is practice. Take up a technique in a case like this, a technique such as qigong, which is a practice of energy generating energy in the body. And then if you get attacked in that way at night and you just get up or stay in bed and practice what you have learned. Energy. A lot to do with breathing. They do all kinds of movement too. It stops your mind. Or you practice. The Dutchman Will Witt, is that his name? Who does intensive breathing and extreme feats of endurance. He lies in ice, a bucket in a bathtub full of ice, and very intense breathing practice. In extreme cases, you could try that. It won't free you of the ego, but. It will affect your consciousness in some way. And then you can even jump into cold water. It'll stop your mind. So that's good. In extreme cases. Take extreme measures, but it's a possibility. It's just a possible thing you could do. I am not telling you to do it. So don't come back to me and say, you told me. You may try it out, but be careful. Don't overdo anything. Anything good that you take too far is no longer good and turns into its opposite. Anything. Anything that is good. Oh, that's so good. More of it. Okay, more. It's so good. More of it must be better. And then it turns into its opposite, applies to anything, Even doing good to other people, and you lose yourself in it. Even compassion with others can eventually kill you if you overdo it. It's a wonderful thing. But if anything, you overdo it. Oh, my God. Sa.
