How Do I Manage Self-Expectations? with Eckhart Tolle

Here a related question. As I'm awakening, I'm becoming more aware of how often I'm angry and it is getting tiresome. How do I manage the expectations of myself? Well, it's the. So you need to manage the expectations and then you need to manage the anger. Anger management and expectation management. Expectation means you beat yourself up for being unconscious, which is more unconsciousness. Because the mental image of who you are says I'm not good enough. I can't do it. You see, been at it for 25 years and I still can't do it. You can't possibly be any good if you still can't do it after 25 years. Those are thoughts that float around in your mind and how do you feel? I suppose that's Byron. Katie would ask that. How do you feel when you believe those thoughts? Not good. You're beating yourself up and you feel an emotion. Feel bad about myself. More ego, more conceptualized identity in your mind. Concept in your mind about you. You derive your sense of self from that. More of the same. So the. Let's say it's anger. And then you wake up after the anger reaction. I did it again, I'm no good. So you have the second egoic reaction to the first one. Anger is something that is comes in many people very fast. So there may not be. Unless there's already considerable presence power in you. There may not be enough presence to catch it. It takes you over before you know it. Especially old reaction. And before you know it, you are talking and shouting and you are not doing it at all. It's the pattern. It's the, the mind pattern, mental emotional pattern in you which often related to what I call the pain body, which is old accumulated painful emotion which could be anger, which could be deep depressed sadness. Anger is a very frequent one. The pain body energies just waiting in people who have accumulated old anger going back to childhood. Feeling powerless. And what does a child do when the child feels powerless? Start screaming. That's all it can do. And sometimes it works. Sometimes the parents come and say, okay, you can have the sweet if you scream loud enough. So its powerlessness is always behind anger. And the ego pretends that there's your power there in anger. But anger rises out of a sense of powerlessness and there's often fear hiding underneath it. And when you are there looking at it, then you realize that at first hand within yourself there is a sense of powerlessness behind it. And the ego is pretending to be powerful when really it's in a state of fear. You, you can see it even with little dogs. The smallest dogs are the most, bark the most. And whenever they're little, I've seen little dogs. Whenever a big one goes past, they get angry. Because, I mean, if I were that size, I would do that too, probably. So you are a little Chihuahua or your little sweet bichon frise, and a mastiff walks past. Or a Rottweiler who looks very quiet because the Rottweiler knows its own power. It doesn't need to. It goes. And the little one. But with dogs, we smile when we see that, because we somehow recognize that pattern and we smile. And probably the Rottweiler has an inner smile too, when he walks past. But with humans, it's more difficult to smile and they go. And words come streaming out of their mouth. It's more difficult to smile. But it's possible. Not necessarily say, don't necessarily smile, but recognize it for what it is when you see it in another. Don't equate that with who that person is. Recognize it that the person has been taken over by that energy field. And that already is a wonderful thing that already we could call is forgiveness. In a wider sense, we don't equate unconscious behavior with who that person is. If we equate it with who that person is. That's the real meaning of judgment. Judgment is not to say to somebody, I realize that you get angry a lot. And that person then might tell you, are you judging me? No, it's a fact. If I see that you get angry a lot. That was just a fact. There's no judgment in it. But if I equate that with your sensual identity of who you are, you are an angry person. And then I always expect more anger from you. That's a judgment. Not recognizing a pattern that operates unconsciously through humans. And taking that for their identity is judgment. And you can do it to yourself. You can judge yourself for those things. And that is just as much ego as judging somebody else. You can beat yourself up, call yourself no good, and whatever else the self talk tells you in your head, it calls you you. In many people's minds, when they talk, the mind talks to you. It says, you see, you are such and such. You see you can't do it. Sometimes it says, I might say I in some people, but in many, it says, you. Isn't that strange? You talk to yourself in your head. One part of your mind condemns the other part. When you see it, you can rise above it, and there's suddenly an awareness that comes with it. You're no longer trapped in those patterns. I would recommend particularly to become particularly alert when you know you're getting stressed. Something a situation is building up in some kind of. For example, if you get anger takes over when you get stressed, could happen when, when you feel stress building up towards it, you can become very alert. So that doesn't take you over. You know the anger is about to come. Or if it's. If you know certain areas of your life are more likely to wake you unconscious. Sometimes you know just beforehand that those are going to arise in the next minute or so. And then you can be alert. Feel the entire energy field in your body. Be alert with every cell of your body. Then pick up the phone and talk about the financial situation with your investment advisor. And treat those as spiritual practices. And realize nothing is more important than consciousness. Not the situation, it's consciousness. Some people's pain bodies are consists as I said, predominantly of anger. And in some people you can sense their semi dormant pain body in the background even when they are not particularly angry right now. But there are people who are waiting for the next opportunity to be angry. That's their pain body. And sometimes when you are sensitive towards other you can feel energy fields you can sometimes sense in other people. They are waiting for an excuse to be angry. Somehow when you look into their eyes, it's already there. But it's not them, it's that which occupies their inner energy field which is the pain body. And so they're waiting and any excuse and they will get angry at you or whoever it may be. So you become a grievance looking for a cause.