How Not Forgiving Can Delay Your Awakening | Eckhart Tolle

Does this person who did bad things to you still live in you even they might even have passed away already. As a mental emotional entity that you carry, it's actually like a little, a little gremlin. There's also the doorway into presence, of course, of totally accepting your experience of this moment. So if you can talk to your with whoever it is you're talking to and just totally accept whatever he or she says in this moment, that's fine too. There are various doorways into presence, but it's presence, so. Or you meet your ex, as they call I'm meeting my ex about something. So all the stuff that happened, that accumulated before the divorce happened all those years, it's back in your mind. And there's your ex and your, oh, you have a very clear image of who he or she is. And it's not pleasant. Your very unconscious ex. And then you have to be really, really present so that you don't go into the old reactive mode. And then you're meeting this person. It's almost without the past. That's an amazing thing. Without your yes, you know the past, but in the moment of meeting that person, there's only you. There's not you as the personality. When you become really present, what emerges is that the other half you emerges more. The personality becomes relatively unimportant. The other half, the unconditional presence shines through. Then you are able to meet another human being. Even you might have share a lot of unpleasant pasts with him or her, but you can meet this person when the other the deep eye shines through you. You meet the person through the deep I, which means you meet this person without reference to the past. That you have that ability, not you as a person, but that ability is in you of meeting a human being, even a human being with whom you share a lot of unpleasant past without reference to the past. So you're meeting that person in the present, fully in the present. That's an enormous thing. And I have, I know people who have practiced it. And many of them have reported back and said that sometimes, not always. And you're not doing it in order to achieve something else through is sufficient unto itself. However, almost miraculous transformations have happened in the other person when you met the other person without reference to the past. So it's not that you want the other person to change. All that falls away. You're just not bringing the past into this encounter. And then it is not uncommon for the other person also without them realizing what's happening, becoming freedom at this moment, at Least from their heavy personality. And something beyond the personality in them also shines through. And that's a miracle of transformation. That's why sometimes people, when one of the two who share a lot of unpleasant past, one of them becomes conscious, it can lead all also to the transformation of the other. Not necessarily. If it doesn't, it's fine too. At least you are free. And you don't need the other to be free too, to be feeling that you are free. And so it can also happen with your parents that suddenly the way in which your parents relate to you changes. When you meet your parents without reference to the past and in absolute presence. That's an amazing, amazing experience. So I suggest you try it out on. You have quite a bit of time to practice. And then Thanksgiving is still a long way in the future. And that's where to try it out. When you sit around the big table. Well, that's for North Americans who celebrate Thanksgiving. You sit around the table and there's the. Basically, this is the past. The past sitting around the table. Some people dreading it. Christmas too. Oh, no, not anymore. Because you're facing the living past. So it's a miraculous thing to. And again, one could say that is the real meaning of forgiveness. It's not so much a mental act. Mental acrobatics that say, okay, you've done dreadful things, but I'm so spiritual that I forgive you. I forgive you. At least I'm trying to. At least I'm trying. You're not even trying. Why do I always have to be the first? You. It's always the same. You're lost again. So forgive you is not so much a mental. To formulate certain things in your mind and then trying to live up to. To a certain thought in your mind, which is very difficult, if not impossible. But the real forgiveness is to enter that state of presence so that you're not the personality that's conditioned by the past. And then you can meet the person, even the person who did something to you, if you choose to meet them. You don't have to meet a person. Bad things to you. But the question is, does that person still exist in you as. As a mind form, as a thought form, as a mental emotional entity is. Does this person who did bad things to you still live in you even they might even have passed away already, but they live in you as a mental emotional entity that you carry. It's actually like a little gremlin that lives in you, and it's not pleasant. And so forgiveness means to recognize that for what it is, it's not really the other person anymore. The person maybe passed away 10 years ago. It's not the other person anymore. It's something you carry still in your mental emotional field that lives there. And so that is again something to recognize. And if you recognize it as something that lives in your mental emotional field, then it's much easier to step back from it and by no longer getting drawn into it. So that's something to do with something that lives in you and you recognize it as something that you no longer want or need. And then it gradually dissolves as you're no longer reacting against it. So you have one, you have it split in you. As long as it's there, there's that mental formation, mental emotional entity and then there's you. There's another pattern in their mind that reacts against it. It's a bit crazy. But forgiveness then is really coming. Meeting the other, if the other is still there and you're actually now meeting them in person without reference to the past. People with whom you have a grievance, people carry, carry grievances. And they actually like their grievance. The ego, love's grievances, people judge. Twenty years ago he did that to me. Thirty years ago, dreadful, dreadful. Nigel did to me. Oh God. The eagle loves grievances. But as long as you carry even one grievance towards and grievance is a long standing resentment. Resentment could be short lived. But grievance tends to be a very, very long thing. Goes on and on. At least that's how I define it. The grievance goes on and on and you carry it in your mind. And even just one surviving grievance in you can often prevent you from fully existing presence, from actually fully awakening. It's like a. It's a very. It's a dark spot in you that blots. That prevents consciousness from arising fully. So you have to be really very careful that see what they do to you and see that the addiction to a grievance is only. What is addicted is your faults. The personality derives, the egoic personality, the ego derives sustenance from the grievance and strength from the grievance. So if you harbor a grievance, that means that the egoic self is still operating. It is not you who is harboring the grievance. It's the ego in you that is harboring the grievance. So if you have a surviving grievance in you towards another person, you need to know that ultimately it's not you. It's the ego. It's still operating. So you can develop in other areas of your life, and the ego can remain in you. Even can it attach itself. Let's see. You're awakening beautifully. But there's one corner in your mind where the ego survives because it has attached itself to a grievance. And there can be other corners, too, where the ego can attach itself to particular anything to do with the past. It attach itself to a particular thing in your mind, and there it's waiting. And occasionally it can then even in other situations can still. The ego can still come back more easily because it's there. It's still feeding on the grievance. So it's not starving. It's still feeding on this grievance that you harbor.