How to Avoid Getting Lost in Suffering with Eckhart Tolle

For many years now, I've kind of been dealing off and on with certain degrees of depression. Sometimes more intense, sometimes less intense. Actually lately a lot less intense, in large part due to discovering you and kind of reading your works and stuff, which has been super helpful. So thanks for that. But one aspect of this is that my ability to feel things has. I feel greatly kind of diminished over time. Things that I used to be excited about don't excite me anymore. I don't look forward to things when I kind of hang out with my friends and things like that, which is stuff that I enjoy. The joy kind of goes away very quickly. But what doesn't go away and what I can feel is the kind of negatives in my life, the sadness and the suffering and stuff. And it got to a point where I started to crave it in a certain degree. Because feeling those type of emotions almost kind of reminded me of my ability to feel at all. And sort of reminded me of my humanness. So I guess my question is, how do you eliminate suffering when suffering in a certain way is all that you have left?

Right. What about your practice of giving attention to the present moment? Now we give attention to the present moment. You first, you become aware of whatever it is that you feel within. And then you need to be aware within and without. That's part of the present moment. So that your attention is not completely absorbed by whatever it is that you feel. Because there's also the vastness of the outside world. And so to be present means to be present within and without in both worlds. So you acknowledge whatever it is you feel inside you at this moment. Be also very vigilant to see whether. Are there any associated thoughts with that feeling? Are there certain thoughts that go through your head that reflect what it is that you feel. For example, if you feel depressed, do you have thoughts that are telling you that life is, after all, not worth living? Or whatever the thoughts are saying that people suck, life sucks, I suck, we all suck, I don't want to be here. That kind of thought. So you need to observe, be aware both, as far as the inside is concerned. Be aware both on the level of the emotions and feelings and on the level of mind activity, what kind of thoughts. And so it requires vigilance so that you don't move, indulge without knowing it, unconscious thinking. And you can't separate the unconscious thinking and the feelings. So only you can know. I don't even know whether you can answer this question now, because you have to find out in the moment of it happening. What kind of mind activity accompanies those unpleasant feelings? And to see whether this mind activity actually feeds the unpleasantness that you feel or the suffering that you feel, that's a very important thing. What role does your mind play in all this? Very important. Is your mind feeding it. Because you have a big pain body there, which is not in itself a bad thing, because the pain body becomes a strong motivating force for you to awaken. I also had a very heavy pain body. That's why I had to awaken. Couldn't stand it anymore. And you are at this point too, can't stand it anymore. That's good. So be very careful so that you examine your thinking. Am I feeding the feeling? And if you are, that means there's enough awareness for you to realize it. Then you let go of the thoughts. And one way you can do it by. Remember I just mentioned, be present within and without. You can use, for example, your sense perceptions. Directing attention to your sense perceptions. It takes attention away from thinking. And then you experience. The next step would be you still feel the unpleasantness, but you're also observing sensory perception around you. There's the sky, there's the flower. My hand, the hand. And you don't have to. I'm labeling it now. But you don't have to label it. It's better not to label it, just to perceive it fully. Come to your sense. Look around. There's an entire world there. And your suffering ends here, where your skin is. The suffering that you experience is inside you. Just one step next to you. There's no suffering. Isn't that strange? So here the table isn't suffering. I'm suffering. And this inch on the chair here is not suffering. It's just inside this bag of skin. I am the suffering entity. That's me. And then if you don't know that, then you identify with that feeling. And then you look at this. Then you call and you still have the conditioned thinking that reflects suffering and say, oh, it's all pointless. The trees are pointless, the sky is pointless. What's the point of it all? I don't see any beauty in this. And this flower is going to die soon. Of course, everything dies soon, so what's the point in even living? There's a dog. He doesn't look that healthy, whatever it is. Then you would be. Just look at the world around you through the feelings. So to be present, you have to not label and just look and take in auditory, visual perception, breathing. So, and then, of course, then you. If you Give more attention to your surroundings, especially when you're in nature. But nature is everywhere. Even if you're in the middle of Seattle, there's the sky. Well, it's usually at this time of year it'll be gray, but that's fine too. There's sunlight filtering through the sky. And you have lots of trees, lots of trees. The Evergreen State, Washington, as it says on your license plate. So that's good. You have that. And that takes your attention away from. You're not denying what you feel, but you're adding a dimension to it, the external dimension. And then nature has a very healing effect. If you truly give attention to nature and you're no longer fueling the suffering that you feel inside you. Of course it doesn't go away immediately or a miracle could happen. And it does, but usually not. It's just the beginning of it gradually dissolving or becoming transmuted. Now, looking back retrospectively, if you even know the answer to this. What kind of mind activity accompanies the suffering that you feel in your body? What are the typical thoughts that go with that?

I guess it kind of depends on the situation. Obviously, you know, it comes in kind of phases, but a lot of it is just kind of generalized self loathing, I guess. I don't know if that's the right term.

But watch out for the. What kind of thoughts. It might even be helpful to write them down. If they're repetitive thoughts. See what kind of repetitive thoughts you can catch, because they can be. So they can obscure your awareness so quickly. Especially old thoughts that come again and again and again. They become part of your fictitious identity of the self, the egoic self. So you carry with you then the burden of an unhappy self. I remember that I had that too. Carrying the burden of an unhappy self. And that is what motivates you to awaken. But there's already been a diminishment of your depression.

Absolutely.

Yeah. So that's a good sign. That means presence is arising and it is gradually dissolving this pain body in you. But your work is not to renew the pain body through unconscious thinking. So you need to be really alert and watch your mind so that you don't create more suffering by unconscious mind activity. And if you no longer feed the pain body, because that's now. The pain body, of course, also feeds through drama in relationships. It has the two ways of feeding. In your case, perhaps more through your mind, but I don't know, could be also enacting and reenacting drama, emotional drama in relationships. With your partner, family members or whoever it may be usually people you're close to or work with. But the closer the better. The intimate partners are the best ways for the pain body to renew itself through. So don't add to the pain body. It wants to feed. It wants your unconsciousness but don't give it to the pain body. You're not feeding it with your mind anymore and you're not feeding it by being drawn into insane drama in relationships. So you're watching may not be pleasant but it's not that bad. Your presence is infinitely more powerful. It doesn't even fight the pain body. It just by shining the light of awareness on gradually dissipates or a better way of putting gets transmuted because the energy is not lost. There is enormous life energy in it but it's trapped. It's trapped energy so it's felt as negative when that's freed it becomes part of presence. It is fuel for presence. The pain body is fuel for presence. That's amazing. So you have plenty of fuel for presence. That's the good news.