How to Break Any Bad Habit with Awareness | Eckhart Tolle

I've also worked with other people who had eating disorders, overeating. The opposite, of course, can also happen. And they tell me that often they are eating already, consuming already what it is they're consuming, and they don't even know that they're in the middle of eating. They're realizing that they went to the fridge They got the thing out of the fridge, they started eating it, and they were totally unconscious. And only in the middle of eating it, they suddenly realized they're eating the chocolate cake again. How did I get to the fridge? I don't even remember going to the fridge. That's how unconsciousness can take you over.

My question relates to attention deficit disorder, which I'm one of those people that have been told that they have it, and it seems like there's a growing number of people younger than me that perhaps have been told the same thing. So I've sort of— I quite often look around the room in here and I think, gosh, you know, I'm just a sort of pretender when it comes to presence. And, you know, I've done some pretty drastic things to, you know, be one of those people that can be still in a room, like Vipassana, which you mentioned earlier in the week, and all sorts of like fasting for 7 days and, you know, doing plant medicines and all sorts of things. And it's been very difficult for me to find a natural access into presence. And I just wondered what advice you might have around that.

Right, so you've practiced. So do you have a meditation practice every day?

Yeah, it's not as consistent as that, but it could be anywhere from 5 to 20 minutes, I would say 3 or 4 times a week.

Right. And you have participated in the Vipassana boot camp meditation?

Yes. Yeah, yeah. And I do Wim Hof. Well, I don't. I do to swimming in the Serpentine, the lake in Hyde Park, right, over the winter. So anything that would pull me into presence. And I think some progress has been made, but really I just have such strong compulsions from all around, you know, be it sugar or— that's the main one, in fact. But yeah, all sorts of things that just hinder my presence.

Yes. Well, you look at some compulsions, so you mentioned sugar as an important one, there may be others. Sugar, so on a very practical level, the sugar compulsion, how does that manifest? Obviously it manifests with the intake of sugary substances, but how exactly does it on a daily basis, how How do you experience that?

Yeah, I experience it around 3:45 or 4 PM in the office, and you know what, I would have done so well up until then, and then I just go crazy. I go to Waitrose and I'll buy a very large bar of chocolate and some sweeties. I've noticed there's a tuck shop here as well, and I will just destroy it like it's a drug. Yeah, I'll eat it. It is quite extraordinary how I consume those things. But it is, you know, it's funny to like laugh about it and it's like, you know, because it can slip through so easily. But, you know, I'm worried, you know, that I'm going to end up a diabetic, you know.

Yeah.

Sounds like it's not that big of a deal, but it, you know, it really It's every day.

Yes, yes, very interesting. So that could— I would just focus on this particular compulsion because they're all similar, so if you can deal with one, you can deal with others, and that seems to be the main one, although I'm sure there are others. Start experimenting with it. Suppressing it probably won't work, at least not for long. But so you begin the experiment by, when in the afternoon, as you say, it begins to come up, you can feel that pull, At first, I would suggest to introduce a delay in reacting, giving in to that pull, so that give yourself 5 or 10 minutes to observe the pull, to observe the energy field that lives in you, that you call, or I call, the pull. Wanting you to go and get it and then eat it. So bring in some awareness. You may not immediately be able to stop it, but at least you can introduce a delay, and in the delay period, you're just— you observe what it feels, what this energy ball feels like. So you bring awareness to the feeling of it. That's quite interesting. It's— you don't— it's not so much thinking about it, but simply consciously feel that pull and say, ah, there it is. 10 minutes, 5, start with 5 minutes, then up to 10, not longer than 10 minutes. You may not even be able to hold it longer initially. So this is a meditation period, or your meditation object is not a mantra, is not the body, is not— well, partly it's the body, but your meditation object is that compulsion that you feel, the energy pull. So you make that into meditation object, and then probably there is a possibility that the compulsion will become less, but probably not immediately. So you may still need to go and out, you go to Waitrose, which is a British supermarket for those who don't know, and they sell very nice sweets. And so you buy it, and then I recommend once you've bought it, you put it on your desk, introduce another 3, 4, 5 minutes when you just contemplate that thing and feel the pull. And then go ahead and eat it.

That's great.

And it's possible that even while you're eating it, some of that awareness is still with you, so it's not totally unconscious eating anymore. And it is possible that you find the ability to only eat half the amount that you would normally eat, and you put the other half away for the next day. Or you throw the other half away.

Yeah, I've done that a lot actually.

Oh, well, but of course you go through it again and again. So it has to be combined. It's not just the action of in disgust you throw it away. That's not quite it. So you introduce awareness into the compulsion and then you repeat that every day. So you have every day, you have your chocolate meditation before you go out and buy it, and then you have your chocolate meditation while it's on the desk for a short period of time and observe that. And then most probably you will also eat more consciously. And if you're eating it more consciously, there's a great likelihood that you will need to eat less of it. And so that, I would suggest, will be the beginning of overcoming the compulsion by transforming it into a meditation object. And it will help you enormously in generating more presence. So your motivating factor is the compulsion, so it becomes your friend. Rather than your enemy, because it can make you more conscious. It presents the challenge that you need in order to grow in consciousness. That is a practice. I had a close friend in England when I was still living in England. He had a overpowering compulsion with eating, and he was extremely overweight, extremely overweight. A wonderful man, and he couldn't stop. And he told me, and I worked with him a little bit, when the when he started going to the fridge, eating, getting chocolate cake out or whatever was in the fridge, his mind would often tell him that he is justified in doing this because he has such a rough time. You've got a rough day, you deserve a little treat. What the mind was trying to tell him, he deserved it because that's all you have, the last pleasure you have in your life. It's the only one, you go ahead and do it. It's the only thing you have. Do it. And every time he did it, it's— I've also worked with other people who had eating disorders, overeating. The opposite, of course, can also happen. And they tell me that often they are eating already, consuming already what it is they're consuming, and they don't even know that they're in the middle of eating it. They're realizing that they went to the fridge, they got the thing out of the fridge, they started eating it, and they were totally unconscious. And only in the middle of eating it, they suddenly realized they're eating the chocolate cake again. How did I get to the fridge? I don't even remember going to the fridge. That's how unconsciousness can take you over. And it's enormously challenging. My friend lost some weight, but then I left England and unfortunately he passed away a few years ago. And he learned quite a bit. He never completely overcame his compulsion, but he— So it's definitely a growth in consciousness, but you are able to overcome your compulsion.