How to Deal With Negative Emotions | Eckhart Tolle Teachings

The feeling first of all needs to be acknowledged. And seeing how the mind, the mental narrative has both the mental narrative and the feeling seem to have a life of their own. And if they have been in there for a long time, they don't want to go. What they want is they want you to be identified with them. They don't want you to be conscious of them. So this is really the, the mind aspect of the pain body and the emotional. The pain body is predominantly an emotion, but there is a mental aspect that the pain body needs to rise up into your mind in order to feed on certain types of thinking. In this case the old narrative. So you also need enough awareness to know that this thing does not want to go. Because there's a momentum behind thought patterns that have been active in your mind for a long time. So there's a momentum behind it. So you need to be acutely aware of the process of how it creates further pain. And when you look through it and see that's actually what it does, then you've recognized you cannot be deceived anymore by completely being, believing in it every time it happens. In other words, you see that you create your own pain. Ultimately when you see that, that's the beginning of the end. And then you can reach a stage when the pain is no longer. The feeling is no longer fueled by thinking. Then you arrive at a stage where you realize, I don't need the feeling anymore. In fact, you don't need to let go. Because then when you do not revive it any continuously, it subsides by itself. So you don't need to actually say I must let go, it lets go of you. Rather than you need to let go. It's because you're no longer giving it energy, you're no longer feeding it. So that's the process. So you need to let go is a bit like saying you need to forgive. That's another one like that. You need to really need to forgive. Okay, I'll try. I'll really. Have you forgiven your parents? Yeah, I think I have. The forgiveness again in a similar way happens naturally when you look when first of all you realize that no human being can act beyond their level of consciousness at that time when they acted. So if you haven't forgiven your parents, then you can see they behaved the way they did because they could not have done otherwise. My father, for example, I loved him dearly. Well, especially after I became conscious and before I became conscious I had a love hate relationship with him and I found him very obnoxious. But There was love there too, emotional love. But then when I was free, I could love him unconditionally. And then I could see that pattern in him that produced so much, gave me so much pain. His uncontrollable anger, mostly fortunately not directed towards me, but directed towards my mother. But the anger that was directed by my father towards my mother hurt me probably more than it hurt my mother as a little, as a child. And his anger was so explosive, it could flare up at any moment. So we are always walking on eggshells. And when I was seven, eight, I already knew. My mother seemingly never learned it. I already knew what comment that she made would immediately produce the anger. I knew that when I was seven, she never learned it. And so I was ready. I was listening to my mother saying, oh no, she's saying that. And so there was. I had a dream When I was 7 or 8, I was asleep and had this dream. And in the dream there was a. A bag under. Under my bed. And in that bag where the body parts of my dad. I had cut him up and had put all his body parts and hidden it under the bed. So I was. I didn't. The actual cutting up wasn't in the dream. That had already happened somewhere else. You're just cleaning up. Yeah. So I was pushing him under my bed. And then still in the dream, at that moment, I heard the front door opening and my dad was coming in. And I ran towards him and gave him a hug. That shows the conflicting feelings. And then later I realized. I realized where that anger came from. I don't need to go into this. Of course, it goes back to childhood, how he was treated and his family, the seventh child, the youngest child, nobody wanted him anymore. The mother was tired, he was. Wasn't giving much, given much attention, not treated well by his female, his sisters and so on. Long story, don't need to go into that. It came all from there, it originated from there, anger towards his mother and so on and so on. And later I realized he could not help himself. He did not have the awareness. He got taken over by this anger. And the moment I realized that he acted according to his level of consciousness at the time, I didn't need to forgive anymore because there was nothing to forgive anymore. I had. And that's a beautiful thing. So again, similar to letting go of feelings, when the nothing awareness comes in, the feeling lets go, lets go of you. And all becomes transmuted into something, an energy field that is good. And so forgiveness again cannot really be practiced in the same way that letting go can't really be practiced. It just happens. And then that's how it is. When I was seven, eight, I already knew. My mother seemingly never learned it. I already knew what comment that she made would immediately produce the anger. I knew that when I was seven, she never learned it. And so I was ready. I was listening to my mother saying, oh no, she's saying that. And so there was. I had a dream when I was 7 or 8. I was asleep and had this dream. And in the dream, there was a bag under my bed, and in that bag were the body parts of my dad. I had cut him up and had put all his body parts and had hidden it under the bed. So I was. I didn't. The actual cutting up wasn't in the dream. That had already happened somewhere else. You're just cleaning up? Yeah. So I was pushing him under my bed. And then still in the dream, at that moment, I heard the front door opening and my dad was coming in. And I ran towards him and gave him a hug. So that shows the conflicting feelings. And then later I realized. I realized where that anger came from. I don't need to go into this. Of course, it goes back to childhood, how he was treated in his family.