How to Maintain Presence Among Unconscious People | Eckhart Tolle

My question is, how does one remain centered in stillness when we might be surrounded by and asked to engage mentally and emotionally with others who are not?

I assume that this situation happens to you quite often because you're asking the question. And of course, it's a very common thing for people to find themselves in such situations. Let's assume then it's these are human beings that you. You cannot easily or you don't want to separate yourself from. Like could be family members or it could be people you work with. Those two situations are often situations where you feel you. You want to continue to interact with these people, or you have to interact with these people, but it's getting difficult because you can. There is toxicity or there's a lot of unconsciousness. Egos fight against other egos and so on. Let's just for a moment put aside the more extreme manifestations of such situations. There are situations, whether it's family members or at work, there are some extreme situations that are so destructive and toxic that you. The only healthy and sane course of action would be to remove yourself. So if it's an extreme situation, let's say you're in a relationship, the relationship is sometimes violent, there's physical violence, or there's repeated emotional violence. Such an extreme situation, or you are at work and the company that you work for is the environment. The energy is so toxic and negative that just going into that office, you feel the weight of it and the pull of that negativity, and it's full of ego battling each other. So in certain extreme situations, I would recommend that you remove yourself from this, because I mentioned that at first, because I want to put that aside. We need to know extreme situations involving emotional violence, physical violence, whatever it may be, you have to take responsibility and remove yourself from that situation. But many situations in assume, in your case, perhaps it's not that extreme. So what remains is normal human unconsciousness, not the extreme forms of unconsciousness. So to deal with normal human unconsciousness, again, be aware when you are interacting with people. Realize that you may not always succeed in doing this. But the most important thing, see if you can bring about a shift in the way in which you approach the situation and these people. The most important thing in such situations is your state of consciousness rather than whatever it is that they are talking about. They may be talking about this or that, whether it's at work or they may be gossiping or they may be whatever they're engaged in. Emotional ego stuff, use it as an opportunity to stay present. And it's not Easy. And you can only. You need to intensify your presence when you are with unconscious people. By that I mean when you are sitting alone in a room or you're walking out in nature, being present is not that difficult. You can. It's especially. Nature is conducive to presence or being alone in a room. If you discover that you actually like sitting alone in a room, that's a great thing because that means you become comfortable with yourself. There are still. The majority of humans still become very uncomfortable with sitting alone in a room. And you may discover that you actually like being alone. Not continuously. You still love people, but you also love being alone. Because when you're alone, you can sense the presence that you are, the very simple but powerful presence of. And you sense there's a stillness there. It's lovely. And then of course, you leave your room and then you meet other people. You lose yourself. You get. Because there's a gravitational pull that the mind has. And so people know that other people's minds will try to draw you in. I don't. Is it. May I ask you, before I carry on, is it predominantly. Is it more a family situation in your case, or is it a work situation or which one is it predominantly?

I would say. Thank you for asking. It is both. And both family and work occasionally are issues or not issues, but present themselves as a challenge. What is an ongoing daily challenge is the unconsciousness of the city I'm surrounded in. So, you know, by Wednesday that starts to peak and become much more difficult for me to stay out of my head, becomes very noisy.

Oh, you can sense the. You can sense the energy field of the city, right? Yes, yes.

Sunday is very pleasant. Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, or not.

Right, right.

So. But it's really, you know, that plus the more intense situations of work and family which occasionally come in.

Yes, yes. I need to ask one more question. Do you find yourself drawn into when other people are ego controlled? Do you find yourself that emotionally, mentally, you become just like them? Or do you feel you're a little bit of an outsider now, that's observing what's going on, or are you a full participant temporarily in the unconscious interactions that are taking place, the drama, whatever it may be? Are you a full participant or are you a reluctant. Sometimes a reluctant participant, or you remain there as an almost an outsider observing what's going on? How is it for you?

It oscillates most of the time. I am an outsider who enjoys engaging. I suspect that my sensitivity to presence and stillness is becoming. Is increasing or the Sensitivity to that lack of. In myself is increasing. Does that answer your question?

Yes. Yes. Thank you. That's good. Yeah. Yeah. Let's talk for a moment about this, the energy field of the city, before we go on to your personal. The. I don't know if you. Whether you meditate or not, whether you do some formal meditation and often you say, yes, the. Often people. And people meditate and then some. Something disturbing things happen while they meditate. Suddenly, this disturbing noise. This morning I was sitting. I was sitting in my living room and it's Wednesday, so they do the gardening on Wednesday with extremely noisy leaf blowers. This is the time of year of leaf blowers. And so the noise came and I was just so. It was so peaceful as I was sitting there.

And.

And suddenly there was this. And often I immediately knew how to completely transcend it because I've been. It's second nature to me now. But often I have to tell people how to deal with disturbing things like that, especially when they're trying to meditate. And then that happens. I always say, incorporate whatever arises during this time when you're trying to meditate, everything that arises, make it part of your meditation. In other words, resist nothing that arises. Don't demand that anything that arises should not arise. In that case, even a disturbing noise such as a leaf blower is incorporated into your meditation by deep acceptance of what is. You don't resist. You may be able to practice the same in the city when you feel the energy field. But I mean, you may be walking there or driving or just being in an apartment or office. Practice, surrender to this energy that you feel. Then you may be able to transcend that particular energy. If you don't, if you react to it, it still you have. It has you in its grip in a way, one could say when you react to toxic energy, you become part of the toxic energy without knowing it. So the only. The only way you can become free, other than removing yourself and live in the countryside, the. The only way you can get beyond it is through deep surrender. So completely. And this can be a spiritual practice, as I said, except in the most extreme cases when there's violence of some kind or extraordinary toxicity, then obviously you remove yourself. Otherwise, surrender to something that seems unacceptable. And yet in the surrender, you're totally okay with it. Suddenly, the toxic energy of the city, but you no longer even call it toxic. You just. You can sense it and allow yourself to sense that and say, oh, that's what is. And you might also then recognize it as an expression of Human unconsciousness to some extent, but also yes, it's still a manifestation of life at a particular stage, evolutionary stage. And that's what it is. You can then I had that realization many, many years ago when I went through a shift in consciousness. At the time I lived in London and I had to travel every morning to work on the subway, which is called Tube or underground. They call. Has different lines and one is called. At that time, it was decades ago, I don't know how it is now. One was the one the line that I had to catch is called the Northern Line. The Northern Line was always considered the worst of all tube lines. Because at the longest delays and the most totally crammed carriages that always you can never find a seat. You had to push yourself in. And then there were long gaps, no trains. People called it the Misery Line. And I had to catch that line. Every morning after my shift in consciousness. I still was the same. I went in there and I felt completely at peace. On the Northern Line, which before was a source of great unhappiness. Felt completely at peace. I couldn't quite understand why for a long time. And later I realized I'm actually not complaining about anything anymore. I'm not complaining about it. It's just is my mind wasn't saying anything about it anymore. I could still feel. Feel that energy. But it was. I allowed myself to feel that. And by allowing myself to feel it, there was transcendence.