How To Manage Loneliness | Q&A Eckhart Tolle

I want to speak about, like, loneliness.

And.

Pain body, because since two years I'm traveling alone, trying to like you, like, doing nothing. Try.

That's a good try. Yeah. And.

Then I have difficulty to accept this nothingness. And so then I spend time on devices on Facebook. And then the pain body arrives. And then sometimes I see the world like if it doesn't exist, and that other people are like, robot. So it's a lot of suffering, and I don't know how to overcome this kind of feeling.

So you've been traveling for a couple of years?

Yeah, like one year and a half. I started with India and then now I'm following you because I went to Norway, New York, Costa.

Okay. And you're not running out of money yet?

The universe gives me what I need.

Okay, that's good. That's a good sign.

But it's about like the disconnection with the world when I am alone and with devices.

Yes. You're not in a relationship at present, and you haven't been for the past two years, and the relationship has not arisen. Or do you on purpose avoid entering relationship? Okay, well, whatever it is, learning to be with yourself, at ease with yourself. Loneliness can be a great thing when it becomes transformed through acceptance into solitude. Solitude only arises when you accept your aloneness, become completely present, and suddenly you sense your own presence, which does not need anything, is already complete. Which is not to say that at the level of your form, there may not be a need for some company. Whether it's physical or emotional or mental or altogether on the level of form, you will continue to experience certain pulls and certain needs. On the level of form, if you have no relationship, you may feel that sense of needing something to complete you on the level of form, to some extent, that's not a problem. If you are rooted in your essence, you can be aware that on the level of form, there are still certain needs. And these needs may be met at some point or right now, they may not be met, and that no longer matters that much. It is only of relative importance whether you have a relationship or you don't have a relationship. On the deepest level, you don't need it. On a slightly up. On a form level, you're not complete. There's masculine, there's the polarities of Yin and yang. Not necessarily always related to the biological, masculine, feminine, but you are either. If you are yin, you need some Yang. If you are more Yang, you need some Yin. On the. And that's. That operates on the level of opposites and of Form. It may be advisable for you to engage in some kind of activity so that you can not only practice presence by doing nothing. Because it was never my decision when it happened to me. It was not my decision to do nothing for a couple of years or so, by the way. I'm still good at doing nothing. But it wasn't my decision to do nothing in order to achieve some state. The doing nothing arose because already I was so deeply immersed in presence that I had lost the balance as a human being. I had lost the balance between human and being. I love that word, human being. The English language doesn't have a word for man and woman. Like German has mensch, which is the word for human being. But in English you have to use two words. But there's the human part of you. That's the form. There's the being of you. That's the essence. Ultimately, everybody needs to be in some kind of balance between those two. I was immersed in being so deeply that I lost the balance. I wasn't unhappy about that at all. But I lost the balance between the human. The human became so unimportant to me that I didn't do anything to even any what am I supposed to do with my life? Even that didn't arise that thought it was so delicious, delightful to be immersed in being. And that's how this period of complete, not complete. There was some activity because I had to occasionally get little jobs to survive. And occasionally people gave me money. But I did have temporary jobs to survive. So that I was forced occasionally to come out a little bit out of the being. But I didn't last in any job for very long. The moment I had enough money, I would stop again. So I got temporary jobs at various places. For two weeks I worked at the Kennel Club in London, filling out forms of puppies that had just been born of different dogs. Fortunately, they had no computers at that time yet because that would have been beyond me. So there was just that the bliss of being was so all consuming that the balance between the human and the being was lost. And then it only again to re establish itself when people started coming to me and asking me questions. And the question pulled me out of the being because an answer was required, but the answer came from the being. So when I started answering questions, suddenly there was a flow and the answering of questions became my doing. So that's how the balance got re established slowly. I would not necessarily seek inactivity as a way of achieving some kind of presence. It is sometimes easier to Engage in some activity and even engage in relationships and see if you can stay present there. But it all comes back to really the present moment, whatever it is, wherever you are, wherever you are, is there enough intensity in you not to be drawn into mind for long periods of time? Is there enough intensity in you to stay present in that state of aloneness so that you can be the consciousness rather than the person, you are the consciousness. And it could be a great opportunity that you are able to do that, to just travel and explore. But you already went to India, and so you did not seek. You did not find what you were seeking, perhaps. And then you came to Eckhart, and there you did not find what you were seeking, perhaps. And the only place where you can find what you're seeking is, is within you in the present moment, doesn't matter where you are. So intensity of presence is important to cut through mind. Are you motivated enough to have that intensity of presence? And it could well be that there's not enough suffering in your life to provide the motivation. So that is a possibility. But that's not a problem because it'll come. My sense is that right now is just too easy for you. It's too easy. So the suffering is. I mentioned before, the best motivation for liberation is the desire to escape from suffering or realizing the possibility that is possible to be free of suffering. And that's why the Buddha chose that term to describe his teaching, which grew very wise. What's my teaching about? The Buddha said, I'll tell you what it is about. It's not about enlightenment. It's not about achieving God realization. It's not about that. It's the end of suffering. So it seems that he attracted mostly people who were at that stage where that meant something to them. I don't know if you are at that stage where the end of suffering means enough to you to provide the intensity for awakening. I was suffering. That was the motivation. I didn't even have a name for awakening. The wonderful news, though, is life always gives you what you need. And it could well be that if you continue your life in this way, the way in which you live will create more and more suffering. Perhaps the loneliness will become unbearable. And so then the suffering of the loneliness might drive you into relationship, and then something may go wrong in the relationship, and then the real. Then the relationship will become unbearable, and then you will seek out another situation and something will go wrong there. And then that will become unbearable, and then suddenly you will want to be free of suffering. And there you have the motivation. So whether you carry on the way you are now, fine. Life will give you what you need. Or if you think okay, I'll try a relationship great too, you will find the necessary suffering to get you there that.