Eckhart Tolle describes empathy as perceiving the shared consciousness beneath every person, where the sense of separation dissolves and love becomes recognizing there is no other. The ego sustains itself through otherness and judgment, turning people into enemies. Nature offers an easier path to this awareness than prolonged human contact.
you are able to sense the being behind the human when you interact with other humans. And that is what is perhaps traditionally called a deep ability for empathy. Empathy is to— the real meaning of empathy is to sense the being of the other, and in sensing the being of the other, realize that there is no other. How this person relates to other humans changes in a wonderful way. The ability to sense the being of the other human beyond the human dimension is there, and that means when you encounter other humans, you sense that which you share with them, which is the consciousness itself, the unconditioned, the being. You recognize you're able to penetrate, so to speak, beyond the human conditioned entity. It's there, yes, and some human conditioned entities are horribly obnoxious. Terrible jerks. Some forms of conditioning are really very obnoxious, and yet beyond that there is the being, and you are able to sense the being behind the human when you interact with other humans. And that is what is perhaps traditionally called a deep ability for empathy. Empathy is to, the real meaning of empathy is to sense the being of the other and in sensing the being of the other realize that there is no other. And so when you sense this shared being, This sensing of the shared being, that is called love, real love. So you love the other when you can sense the shared being, which is beyond. There's no mental concept, play no role in this whatsoever. They are part of the human dimension. And that is a wonderful thing to sense. The being of the other, then you love everybody you meet, but not in the conventional sense. And they may not even recognize that you love because you don't go around and saying, "I love, I love you." You don't need that. You don't need to say that. They would misinterpret it anyway because what is conventionally called love is something very different. It's an egoic thing which says, "I need you. Don't you dare leave me." 'Come here.' As I wrote somewhere, Spanish language is more honest because the usual Spanish for 'I love you' is 'te quiero,' which means 'I want you.' There's a more poetic way of saying it, but not many people say 'te amo,' which is more poetic. But most people in Spanish say 'I want you,' which means 'I love you.' That's very honest because that's how the ego operates. So ultimately, when you love another human being, that is the recognition that ultimately the other is not other. And the ego does the opposite. The ego needs to emphasize and amplify the otherness of others. It does it by continuously criticizing and judging and complaining about others. So you emphasize the otherness of others in order to strengthen your own fictitious identity. They look at them, look at him, look at me, or I. Always implied in that is your superiority, which is also fictitious. This is the only identity, this identity in being is the only identity that does not require the other for its identity. The ego needs the— as I mentioned earlier, the ego needs the other to define its identity. When the other is not other, it's meaningless. I gave the example of everybody's given a Ferrari, every human has one, it becomes meaningless. The other who does not have the Ferrari, that gives it meaning. Everybody is suddenly the same race as you, then race becomes meaningless. You cannot no longer define yourself as being a particular race when everybody, every other human is exactly the same race as you. It no longer works for your self-identity at all. You need to find something else. So in the egoic identity, you cannot do without the other. You need to emphasize the other. And you need to make, if possible, you need to make the other an enemy, then it gets even stronger. If you can transform others into enemies, that really strengthens the human ego. And the ego loves that. It does that both individually, but it also does that on a collective level. Entire collectives do it to others. Nations do it to others. Religious groups do it to others, make the other into enemies. This is part of the dysfunction in the egoic consciousness. So it must be admitted though, to be able to sustain awareness of being is not always easy with humans, especially when you interact with them more rather than just a brief meeting. In a way, it's almost easier to have a brief encounter with a stranger in the elevator or a short interaction when you buy or sell something. Then perhaps you're able to look at the other And beyond the function of the other, there's a being, and you can sense the being. They may not be aware of it. They may just think that you're a very nice person and they really like you, but they don't know, they don't realize it's nothing to do with you as a person. When you recognize the being of another, this tends to happen, that people like you very much. But they are confusing you as the person with the being. But that's fine. It's not easy with humans to penetrate into, to sense their being. I must admit, some humans make it very difficult. You probably remember your ex-wife or ex-husband, so just as an example. The— it's easier to start with nature. Don't label it. Recognize the flower and its beauty. Allow it to be and continue to give it attention and sense the being of you as you perceive the flower. Sense that the presence that makes it possible for you to perceive the flower, and that is a still, still presence. And then you look at that flower and you can sense its beingness also. Nature is easier to practice this ultimately realization of oneness in nature than with human beings. Human beings are difficult.
Why alcohol feels like relief, and what it is really giving you | Eckhart Tolle
