How to Use Gossip as a Spiritual Practice | Eckhart Tolle on Judgment and Opinions

Stop cherishing opinions. Now he's not saying stop having opinions, because that would be difficult. You can't at one stroke give up all opinions. When the mind becomes active, especially in a conversation, opinions are expressed. The egoic mind usually needs to respond in order to assert its existence or strengthen its sense of self, particularly with opinions. It can happen easily that before you know it, you have been taken over by a mind stream. The question is whether there is, at any given moment, whether there is enough presence in you so you can be aware of the movement of your thoughts in a conversation. That's the challenge. Otherwise you are lost in the mind stream and the reactive patterns of the mind. A good practice is to become aware of yourself, listening. When somebody says something, be aware of two things. When you're listening to another person, the other person may be voicing an opinion, or gossiping or criticizing somebody else, as is often the case when you're listening, be aware of two things rather than one thing. So you make it into spiritual practice. Be aware of obviously what you are listening to, the content, and at the same time, be aware of yourself as the listener. The presence that makes the listening possible. The presence in you that makes the listening possible. So as you sit with people, you are there as a listening presence. In addition to being aware of what they're talking about, you feel your continuing presence there. And now, if you never said anything, that would be an easier practice. But at some point, of course you will, probably, because it's a normal human situation, you will probably begin to speak also. And then the important thing is not to get taken over by your mind stream. You need to be particularly alert when negativity comes in. As you mentioned, gossip about other people. You find yourself, you say agreeing or disagreeing, so you're taking up a mental position. Is there something in between that is not necessarily agreeing, not necessarily disagreeing, in between the two mental positions of acceptance of what they're saying, or reinforcing it with your opinion, agreeing to it or disagreeing. Is there a neutral space from where you can simply observe possible mental positions, mental positions in others, and your own tendency to adopt a mental position? One good practice, I believe I even recommended it somewhere in a book, is when everybody expressing their opinions, whatever it may be about a good practice is, and let's say it makes nobody's asking you, let's say, for your opinion, and it makes no difference to the situation. So they are not trying to decide some course of action, but simply people are simply putting out their opinions. You can observe the almost Compulsion to give your opinion, especially things like politics or other favorite things that people love to express opinions about. You might feel the compulsion to say something, and as a spiritual practice, just let go of needing to put forward your opinion. So in other words, you ask yourself, what happens if I don't express my opinion? How does that feel? Of course, it doesn't make any difference to the situation or who you are. So to just refrain from unnecessarily expressing your opinion is a spiritual practice in itself. And at first you feel almost that you're losing some of your identity when you're not participating in that. But you are actually going away from egoic identity to a deeper place of awareness. So the pull of the mind is very strong when you are discussing things and other people are expressing their positions, identifying with their positions. Be aware. Observe in other people the emotional charge behind their mental positions. Also observe how there's no awareness of their mental position. There's complete identification with the thought streams. So be there when you're with people. Be there as an observer also, not just as somebody is participating. Observe the force behind mental positions and if you see it in others, how they get taken over by their opinions. The Buddha talks about the thicket of opinions and how people get entangled in that. Really what he's talking about is identifying with thoughts. So the thoughts become you. And so people get trapped in the thicket of opinions, as the Buddha puts it. And of course, one Zen master, I can't remember the name, recommend it as a spiritual practice, a very simple but powerful spiritual practice. Stop cherishing opinions. He actually said, don't seek the truth, just cease cherishing opinions. Stop cherishing opinions. There's no need to seek the truth. Stop cherishing opinions. Now he's not saying stop having opinions because that would be difficult. You can't at one stroke give up all opinions, nor is it necessary. But he says, stop cherishing opinions. To cherish means really to identify, to give your. To have your whole sense of self in your opinions, which are mental positions. Stop cherishing opinions. Stop identifying with the mental positions. Then you can still have them, but you are not. They don't have you. That's a fundamental difference for most people who are unaware. In other words, for most people, they don't have opinions. You can almost say the opinions have them. They are energy forces, mental energy fields that take possession of you completely. And then it's not. You think you have an opinion. No, the opinion has you, the mental position has you. It's kind of like a parasitic presence in you. So great spiritual practice. Rather than looking for the truth or God or self realization or enlightenment, stop identifying with your mental positions. Stop cherishing opinions. That's a spiritual practice.